You Know You've Lived In Saudi Arabia Too Long When
? you start to enjoy camping in the sand
? you are not surprised to see a goat in the passenger seat
? you are equally unsurprised to see camels riding in
pickups
? you think the uncut version of “Little House On The
Prairie” is provocative
? you serve coffee in a thimble
? you expect the confirmation of your airline reservation
to be “Inshallah”
? you think everyone’s first name is “Al ”
? you buy a falcon hood for your gear lever
? you don’t expect to eat dinner till 11.30 pm
? you need a sweater and it’s 90 degrees Fahrenheit
? you serve Dettol over ice at drinks parties
? you enjoy Saudi Channel 2 TV
? you have to write an official apology because your toes
are uncovered
? you think cars are only available in white
? your idea of housework is leaving a list for the houseboy
? you understand “no problem” means “Follow up”
? your measure of success is coming home from the souq
without a confrontation
? you think a picnic means pulling over to the side of the
road with a TV and a water pipe
? you own more than one Rolex
? you think black is appropriate daytime wear for all women
? you wear a jacket inside and take it off outside
? you think all crimes should be punishable by beheading
? you think shopping malls are covered souqs
? you can judge a perfect size “10” by the ankle
? you think carpets belong on the wall
? your favourite hamburger chain features a goat for a logo
? you think anyone carrying a cane is out to get you
? you turn up the airconditioning to write Christmas cards
? you enjoy the Arab News because it has a few adverts
? you know which end of the schwarma to unwrap first
? you think the further you inch into the intersection, the
faster the light will turn green
? you think your neighbour gives a great haircut
? you carry an umbrella and it isn’t raining
? you give directions by landmarks
? you think all gas stations are made of marble
? you look forward to the Monday edition of “Islam in
Perspective”
? you think every major purchase is preceded by cups of tea
? you think being liberated means sitting in the family
section of a restaurant
? you think a red light means “Go”
? you think only men should hold hands in public
? you can’t buy anything without asking for a discount
? you have more carpets than floor space
? you think there’s a great correlation between the
acceleration of the car in front of you and the speed at
which you can blow your horn when the light turns green
? you think “feminine mystique” means covering up
? you make left turns from the far right lane
? you expect gold on every birthday
? you think Pepsi begins with a “B”
? you send friends a map instead of your address
? you expect a palace on every corner
? you think Kleenex belongs on the dining room table
? your day is highlighted by a trip to the Supermarket
? you call your friends to tell them the mains water is
running
? you measure time by the number of prayer calls
? your ideal vacation is anywhere you can eat a pig
This topic was created by Seasoned
[Wed 10 March, 21:36 Tasmanian Standard Time]
