Here we go !
Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: Nothing
Topic: Journal
It is 1:45AM EST on now July 1, 2005, and I am oficiall starting the change:

What is the change? This change is me being fed up with the way I look, feel and how others trwat me because of my size. I am a big girl, no strike that Morbidly obese, I am official as of last weigh in 315lbs. Its not a "Big" secret. I look my weight.

How does it work: After tommorrow morning (or laste on today when I get up (whenever you please it)I will be weighing in on mondays. My diet will be strictly 1200 cal or less, focusing on balance of all food groups (fats, carbs, proteins etc. i will eat 3 meals a day. I plan to exercise at least 3-4 times a week, and of course drink 64 fl oz of water a day.

Why the change: cause I'm tired, just plain fuckin tired of the stares, the nasty comments, you'd be suprised who and what people say. Its not just at work, its home too.

The "Jason" thing: Okay this is the one plain out reason. This guy named Jason I have worshipped for 13 odd years who lives next door. When he moved in I was 14 and thin and i was in love, though I think he loved me. We traded "ahem" romantic interests until last week when we after having too much to drink, got into a scathing fight, about how he was embarrassed to be seen with me due to my weight, and I could never be his girlfriend, he was never attracted to me. We exchanged rotten emails. To make the long story short (too late) he said I would never lose weight, and he would be the only one who would ever sleep with me. What an asshole.

The plan: Lose weight in good pace of time. Total to lose 195lb target weight 120lbs.