Q: Everyone: Who does the most work on the site?

A: Avi--mostly, I do work on updates and formatting. Everyone does their own individual work, depending on how many pages they have.

Q: Will any of the questions after this be serious- or color coded?
A: Avi--No.

Dear Help, My poptarts are sour. What should I do? -Needy Hobo dear needy hobo, you should sue the company that gave you sour poptarts. -Avi

dear help, I taught my dog to catch marshmallows . now he eats pillows. help. -pillowless.
Dear Pillowless, I don't care if you need pillows or not. I'm busy eating squirrels anyways. -Kisa

Dear Help, I am stooped. Mi mam braked mi brian. plase fex et.
Dear ______, you speak bad irish. -Avi

Dear Help, My mom is stuck in a vending machine. My dad wants to get her help, but I don't. Mom evil!! What do I
do? -Gertrude Dear Gertrude, Break the vending machine, eat the food, run away. Enjoy! Oh, and, tell your dad he has bad taste fer wives. -Alina

Dere Help, my appel won't stop farting. -m
M- dn't eat the apple. Eat an orange instead. Don't play w/ fire. -Alina

Dear Help, my barber cut off all of my hair and it won't grow back. I don't think $6.52 is enough for a hair transplant.
-I.M. Broke hi broke. I think you should cut the hair off of your barber and paste it onto your head. that is fair. -Avi

Dear Help, I poisoned the water supply. What next? -Water is good with arsenic.
dear arsenic, I do not drink water. Next you go and drink from the water supply. If you are allergic to water, you should buy yourself a large yacht and drink whine. Fine whine. Not wine. Now...you have to eat a batch of mulberries, and then your world domination will take. Questioningly Avi

Dear Help, buttered toast, attacking! help! -attackd
attackd, is that really how you spell your name? cool. eat the toast!!! -avi again

dear Help, my friend knocked over my imaginary cow. what should I do?
dear uh uh. oh well. make an imaginary butcher to cut the imaginary cow to make imaginary steak. yay. -kisa

dear help, I hate aleena. what do I do? -aleena hater.
Dear aleena hater, take my advice: first, find a tall building. Then go to the roof. Jump off. If you die, I'm sure all your problems will be solved.

dear help, I'm dead. -dead
well dead, lemme come over and dance on your grave. -kisa

dear help, my yogurt exploded. -beans
well beans, that sux for you. -kisa

Dear Help, I have an obsession with cheese. I want to marry cheese. Is this normal? -Cheeselover1306
Cheeselover1306, loving cheese happens every so often. However, this is not normal. See a psychiatrist. Please.

dear help? I was playing with a large flashlight and I accidentally got it stuck in my throat. Now every time I open
my mouth, light comes out my nose. -Noselight person, or something. Dear Noselight Person: Stick some tweezers down your throat, then grab the flashlight with the tweezers. Pull flashlight out. That or get a job as a movie theater usher-you will not need a flashlight.

Estimada Ayuda,Soy un perdedor y yo tengo no vida. ¿Qué debo hacer yo? Estimada Espanol, Usted debe ir a comprar una vida com punteado y obtener uno. ¿Quizá un descuento que uno acomodaría usted?
What the heck!?!?!?

Ask the Cast and Crew of PH