sakeena saara "One day, Steve..."
Robin ...said, "Oh, no! Dirk's is bigger than mine!" He was referring, of course, to the respective post counts in their forums on Nashnet. Realizing that his "flying beneath the radar" and not having a massive press weekend like Dirk's might be part of the problem, Steve got to thinking, and came up with a devilishly clever scheme. "I know! I'll..."
crazy4steve "...do something stupid..." he was thinking along the lines of not only drawing attention to himself, but to the mavs as well. for the mavs were never spoken much of during the off-season...they hadnt done any trades or gotten caught up in any legal crap. so, he decided it was up to him to alter this little "situation" that he deemed important. after all, he was feeling a bit of post envy towards dirk. "might as well give those ladies something to talk about," he told himself. so off little stevie went to rustle up some press for himself.
Robin He went through the list of possible forms of mischief he could get into, immediately ruling out anything that would hurt somebody, because hey--he's just awesome that way. So he tried to find some form of naughtiness that wouldn't be lost in the current media shuffle. "Hmm, possession of an illegal substance--nah, Damon Stoudamire's cornered the market on that...DUI? Don't want to hurt anyone though...in a bumper car thing maybe...ah, Samaki Walker got all the press already. How about a little nice, friendly gender discrimination...damn you, Doug Christie!" Steve was about ready to give up on finding an original way to get his name in the news, when he spotted his guitar in the corner, and thought, "Hmm..."
sakeena saara Steve grabbed his guitar and rode off to the nearest bar. He decide he'd give an unannounced concert He arrives and ask the manager if he can play some music. The manager has no prob;em so Steve get up on stage and prepares to perform a cover song. "This song is called 'Sugar'"
"Come on baby get your shoes on! You're looking like you need a rescue, Underneath the southern moonlight, Where only I can find you. We can do it with our eyes closed! We can sit and talk for hours, Underneath the golden flowers. Where my sunshine grows. Sugar my love! Sugar my burn. Sugar may hide! Sugar may learn. I could give a thousand reasons! I could live a thousand lives, I know I would always meet you, Underneath a summer sky. So come on tell me love is glory! Come on tell me love is real, Show me what your heart is made of, Show me what I need to feel. [CHOURS] Show me that love is worth the wait, Tell me I'm right! Give me your love don't hesitate, Show me tonight! I waited so long for a love so true, So I'm giving it all right back to you! I'm giving you my best of silver! I'm giving you my best of gold! Sugar may hide. Sugar may burn. ::applause:: The tabloids show up...
mavsgoddess ...and get humorous pics of steve dancing and writhing around on the pool table...the bartender then decides to cut him off...even though he hasn't had that much to drink...but only because he is...
Robin ...showing a little too much skin for the macho clientele's tastes. The bouncer came over to have a look and noticed something odd about Steve's amplifier. "Wait! The volume knob on this thing goes to 11!! This exceeds the noise ordinance level! No wonder our cheesy neon stuff is falling off the walls! Quick..."
sakeena saara ...Grab him!" So the club owner tried to lasso Steve but he was too quick and escaped. He ran out of the club with the Tabloids following him. He forgot his SUV but, oh well! He ran through the streets with his guitar and no shirt and just so happens to run past Michael...
crazy4steve ...while mike is trying to hook up with some lady on the street. steve immediately notices the way the woman is dressed and stops before he hits a light post in front him. Suddenly, steve realizes something horrible and drags mike around the corner with him. "what the hell are you doing??? i know we want press...but not THAT kind! what were you thinking?!" mike, looking slightly confused, starts to walk back to where he was talking to the woman, only to see her getting into some other guys car. "OOOOHHHHH!!! my bad, man, my bad." mike says kinda sheepishly. then he takes a second look at steve, wondering why he was sprinting down the street with no shirt. steve, not wanting to admit to being run out of a bar/club, tells mike he was...
mavsgoddess just coming home from the gym after taking the new "stripper-cise" class...mike gets excited and runs to the gym to see if he can find out when the next class is...while steve...
texasfaghag ......goes to the Village to strip under the name "Spicy Canadian" for his pet charities: his basketball camp in BC, his recycling program in Dallas schools, and his very favorite, Big Brothers and Big Sisters. Steve makes more than $10,000 and splits it among the three programs. When he leaves out of the club, a photographer takes his picture and.....
Robin ...within six hours, the photo is plastered all over the Internet, along with speculatory (and 180 degrees off the mark) commentary. Two days later, the National Buttinsky Report tabloid features the pic on its over with the headline, "SCOFFLAW ATHLETE BARES IT ALL!" and the sub-title, "He deafens them in Dallas, then goes for the Full Monty in the Village!!" Steve barely had time to groan, "Oh, sh*t!..." when the phone rang. It was Dirk...
sakeena saara Dirk was reading the headlines as he spoke to Steve. "Is this true Steve?" "Pssh! Of course not!! How DARE you?!" Steve hung up the phone and turned to go to the bathroom and pee but bumped into Alejandra who was holding a copy of the Tabloid headliner. Steve immediatly...
Robin ...felt his instincts for self-preservation take over and left the house faster than a downcourt sprint against the Jazz. He didn't stop until he reached a coffeehouse. "Ah, coffee, my refuge!" he thought. He ordered up a quadruple espresso and sat down to read the Dallas Morning News. He almost spit-taked his java when he saw Kevin Blackistone's column, "Stripping Athletes: A Sure Sign The End Is Near". As he set the paper down, his cel phone rang. He answered. "Hi," replied a bemused-sounding and familiar voice on the other end. "It's Mark..."
mavsgoddess "i was going over the schedule for half time entertainment and thought it would be great if you could..."
texasfaghag ...strip after the Mavdancers do their routine.....
sakeena saara "Uh listen Mark, what happened that day was momentary insanity. Unfortunately, I can't undo that but I'M NOT A STRIPPER OK?!" Mark was taken aback by Steve comments as they stayed on the line speechless. Mark finally spoke. "Yeeeahhhh so, can ya do it?" "Dah!" Steve hung up and ducked under a table just as Eddie came running through the door. He had some guys from Whitfeild with him, armed with straight-jackets. "I know you're in here Steve! You might as well come with me cause you don't want Alejandra to get your ass!!" "Never!!" Steve sprinted out the back door and...
crazy4steve ran to dirk's house, cause eddie was right...he didnt want ale to catch up with him. "man, that was so stupid...i cant believe i did that," he muttered to himself as he walked in dirk's front door. he looked around and didnt see dirk anywhere. "Dirk! where are you? i gotta talk to you." "Just a sec, man." a few seconds later dirk comes into the living room from his bedroom trying to pull on his pants. "what is it man, im..uh...kinda busy..." steve being the ever nosy one, takes a peek into dirk's room when his back was turned. lo and behold, standing in dirk's room was a half dressed woman that looked strangely familiar...
sakeena saara Steve looked back at Dirk. Dirk was confused then suddenly unconscious as Steve punched his lights out. It was the ho from befo'!! Steve hears Eddie beating at the front door. Some law official kicked the door in and approached Steve. "Put your hands up!" Steve went over to the officer, took the gun from him and disassembled it with one hand. "Are you on the force?" "Uh no? Duh! I hate guns." The officer...
THE SAVE!! thanks Deana.
mavsgoddess recognized the woman in the bedroom as his partner who was undercover...she was trying to find a group of women stalking dirk...she was a good friend of dirk's and had just gotten thru sewing up the rip in dirk's pants...when he tripped and fell over while putting them back on...ripping her shirt...steve looked and dirk and said..."dude, i told you ripped pants aren't in style anymore"...to which dirk replied...
Robin ..."Dude, I came back to get you out of trouble, why'd you have to go upside my head?" "Trouble?!" Steve groaned, "Tell me about it, I'm in the tabloids, I'm all over the Internet, my lady's about to go Evander Holyfield on me, Mark wants me to take it off at halftime AND he's talking like the guy from 'Office Space'..." "So what was with the Canadian behaving badly bit, anyway?" Steve gave him a sheepish grin. "...publicity?" Dirk looked him straight in the eye and said...
NashFanDeb to quote an AMEX Commercial "Ya Hosier!" Steve just looked sheepish and tried to explain the entire night again. Dirk and the two officers just stared in disbilief. Finally the officers left deciding there was nothing left for them to do. And Dirk said...........
Robin "...Aw, but bro, this isn't the kind of publicity we need! I had to come all the way back from Germany to rescue you...play Scully to your Mulder...Sharon to your Ozzy..." "Huh?" "Never mind. Look...if you really want to get people talking, why don't we start our own band? A couple of nice Marshall stacks and people will listen to us--whether they want to or not! What do you think?" Steve thought it over...
mavsgoddess and said "dirk you are the master of ideas...i don't know why i didn't come to you sooner!" to which dirk replied...