Things to never say to a cop:
 
 
1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)
 
2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
 
3.Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
 
4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
 
5. Are You Andy or Barney?

6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a
police officer.
 
7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
 
8. I pay your salary!
 
9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning,
too!
 
10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
 
11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other
cars around. That's how far ahead of me they ar! e.

12. When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been
drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look
glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"
 
13. Bad cop! No donut!
 
14.I was going to be a cop, really, but I decided to finish high school. 
 
15. Is that a 9mm? It's nothing compared to this .44 magnum!
 
16. What do you mean, have I been drinking? You're a trained specialist.
 
17. Do you know why you pulled me over? Good, at least one of us does.
 
18. That gut doesn't inspire too much confidence, bet I can outrun you.
 
19. Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on Cops?
 
20. Is it true people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?
 
21. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.