Hello This Is me, My mind As It would pour Onto This Key board And Into this Humming Artificial Universe that Is the Web. My Name Is Corey, I am 22 years old. But That does not mean Anything. In fact I feel like I have been Alive For Centurys.

Maby I watch The History channel to much. Or maby I am Reycycled Matter, WHo knows... Shurley not I. I am Just A part of the MAchine, THe Huge Driving locomotive Of humanity that Is Grinding Along The tacks Of the universe with No brakes and a head full of chemicals. but don't allow that to Impose some Doubt as to my sanity in your head. I am quite sane, and sane enouf to realize that for all our notions of god, heaven and earth. We in fact may be no differnt than a form of cancer that is killing this larger organism we all call the earth. More Complex maby, But who knows what Nuclear Wars are being Fought With In our own Brains On a daily basis.

But Don't Let that notion bring you down. You are an Individual, no doubt there. You have eyes that see and A soul that reaps the benefits Of karma, And Fast living. And Life Although A mysterie To you and me, Is most deffinatly Worth living. We are both Peices In some Giant Puzzel. And for what ever reason, We Now fill adjacent squares. Lets Hope The picture Is Not as Random, And makes sense When veiwed From afar.

I have many Strange Ideals About what I am, And Where I am going. I have Many Ponderings On life, Living, doing And going. Twice as many theorys About God, War and women. I even Have a hand full of notions About reality In general.

But for all my Creativity, Charm And Stunning Looks, I am trapped. Just like the rest of us, Down here At the bottom Of this whole messy affair Of being Alive.

Am I deppressed you might ask, No not me. No way, I am a strong beleaver In Deeper relaxation, The concepts Of Self, Mind and body. I am at one with Who I am And I would not change It for Anything. I understand that for All the uglyness In the living world there is also So Much Strange beauty.

I have seen Glorious things that Have stuck In my mind like pins On the map of the Person who likes to mark where they have been, Incase they forget where they are going. I have seen Winter In the arctic, and the Lights that Kiss the sky there at night. I have volentarily thrown my self from an airplane All In an effort to Tell gravity that I am not his slave. I have Been To the Wild Forests Of northern Ontario and understood that man When Left alone In the wild, Has evolved Beyond the hope Of surviving Natures Complexity. I Navigated the concrete Maze Of The greatest City on earth, And found that You could see A million ghosts there and never know it. I have spent a great deal of time On and under the waves Of the east coast trying my hardest to live the dream Of Perfect Compatibility With the ocean and Its whims. But for all that I still lack what many claim to have found. Hope for a bluer sky, and A greener world.

Almost daily I see The news, Reporters Telling us with a strait face that Iraq Is Better Now, Like Only after the deaths Of 200,000 Civialians And several thousend marines Could The vile Sickness plaqging the land be Cured. I see Nuclear Arms Programs Being thrown In to high gear, In korea, and In Iran. I see a world that Cures diseases with technology and then turns around and uses it to kill. I see Faith, Suicide Bombings And Millions appealing to gods many faces to help them with there trivial problems.

An thats when I get the urge to Do nothing about any of it.

To run away from all the saftey Of material happyness, and join a circus some where In the bowels Of Forgotten time. Or to scale A mountain with only A vauge understanding of mountainering and a grim chance at survival. There are some who have done this that I imagine. They have Spent years Attempting some strange feat, Only to prove to the world and to them selfs, that you really can leave that clearly marked trail and survive, not only that but florish.

I have decided to leave Med school early, Befour I was even eligibel to enroll In fact. And I flushed All my law degrees down the toilet with out even a thought to what It would have cost to obtain them, had I the money Or the discipline too Enroll In any school. I Have a feeling that the only thing to do now. Is to go to costa rica. But to go For real. Not on some flight to A swanky resort where I will be fed and pampered untill I forget that I am not a king. No.. To go alone, By bicycle. Under the stars and at the mercy Of every lunitic Who happens to stalk The wires Of north america. Thats okay, I will be ready. I will be strong. Many have heard me speak of this plan and laughed at it. "Nine thousend miles Is a long way to go" they say. Or they say nothing, Waiting for my own physcological defeat In the face of such advirsary. Thats okay because they are correct. I will never make it.