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27 February 2012
i can't stand up for falling down
Now Playing: curtis mayfield - future shock
Topic: self-portraiture

i can't stand up for falling down

Last year was not my best year for a number of reasons. Though there were highlights like moving to London, and undertaking a one month residency at Hospitalfield, overall last year I was not at my emotional, mental or artistic best.

Maybe it's because I've been voluntarily unemployed since January 1 [though technically I'm self-employed; and even without that, when opting to temp, when not actually on an assignment you're not technically 'unemployed', you're 'between jobs'], and Kyle's recent visit has definitely played a part, but I'm currently feeling pretty optimistic about the year ahead.

Aside from my annual new year mantra which I took up a number of years ago now to "make this one count", I've also resolved to shut out the "noise" this year, and just get on with it.

By this I mean, think, care and worry less about what others are doing and saying (within both my personal and professional lives), and also know when to shut out my own internal "noise".

I let too much peripheral "stuff" get to me and distract me from the important things last year, and I wasted a lot of time and energy being caught up with all of that. I don't want to waste any more energy on those negative elements this year.

The most important thing to me is to do what I want to do with my photography; do what I enjoy and makes me happy. Focus on what I want, and what I want to do, and block out all the rest.

Posted by Bronwen Hyde at 21:18 GMT
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31 December 2011
hearts and flowers
Topic: self-portraiture

hearts and flowers

And here we are. The end of 2011.

It's been a mixture of awesome and awful, so I'm channeling the awesome for 2012 in the hopes that I might discourage the awful.

This year saw me move continents; undertake a fantastic residency at Hospitalfield; participate in some inspirational workshops with Miss Aniela and Lou O'Bedlam, meet some fantastic photographers and non-photographers; and do a bit of traveling within and without the UK to catch up with friends.

There have been some massively overwhelming lows emotionally, but we'll gloss over those and pretend they didn't happen, right?

I have January and most of February "off" from administration day jobs, so I'm planning on filling that time with trying to get somewhat up to date with editing the overwhelming number of photos I've taken in the last year and beyond.

I'm also hoping to collaborate with some other photographers and artists I admire, both within that time span and within 2012 in general; and hoping that in 2012 I can exhibit both within group and solo exhibitions here in London.

I am looking forward to meeting my parents in Budapest for a few days in May; potentially traveling to Manchester at some point to meet up with photography and authorly folk; and hopefully some day or overnight trips to catch up with friends I made when I lived here last.

In short, I'm feeling pretty inspired and positive about 2012 and what it may hold, and hope that you are too.

Should you feel the urge, please feel free to contact me about commissions, prints, image usage or whatever you think I might be able to do for you, that might be able to keep me from returning to full time admin work; but no matter what happens, I'm feeling very hopeful for the new year.

And one massive shout-out to my beautiful partner, Kyle, who despite being literally on the other side of the planet, manages to keep me sane (or something resembling sane). I'm overwhelmed at the thought of him being in London with me in February!

Posted by Bronwen Hyde at 23:16 GMT
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20 October 2011
Now Playing: madonna - music inferno
Topic: self-portraiture


Posted by Bronwen Hyde at 17:58 BST
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15 October 2011
getting to grips
Now Playing: tom waits - ruby's arms
Topic: self-portraiture

getting to grips

Posted by Bronwen Hyde at 16:10 BST
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how to be invisible
Now Playing: will oldham - drinking woman
Topic: self-portraiture

how to be invisible

Posted by Bronwen Hyde at 16:04 BST
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strange bedfellows
Now Playing: nine inch nails - head like a hole
Topic: self-portraiture

strange bedfellows

Posted by Bronwen Hyde at 16:01 BST
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1 September 2011
Now Playing: bjork - aeroplane
Topic: self-portraiture


The imprints of your fingers leave their mark on my neck like a psychologist's ink stains.

I still feel your fingertips, gently but firmly holding me. My neck, my waist. Exploring, investigating, supporting, caressing, teasing.

In the darkness I can imagine they still sear my skin; still seek me out.

That you're not thousands of miles away, and so far from my touch.

Why, sometimes I've imagined as many as six impossible things before breakfast.

Posted by Bronwen Hyde at 01:02 BST
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29 August 2011
an unquiet heart
Now Playing: mika doo - blues in 3 acts
Topic: self-portraiture

an unquiet heart

And when one day Rambert told him that he liked waking up at four in the morning and thinking of his beloved Paris, the doctor guessed easily enough, basing this on his own experience, that that was his favourite time for conjuring up pictures of the woman from whom he now was parted. This was, indeed, the hour when he could feel surest she was wholly his. Till four in the morning one is seldom doing anything and at that hour, even if the night has been a betrayal, one is asleep. Yes, everyone sleeps at that hour, and this is reassuring, since the great longing of an unquiet heart is to possess constantly and consciously the loved one, or failing that, to be able to plunge the loved one, when a time of absence intervenes, into a dreamless sleep timed to last unbroken until the day they meet again.

- Albert Camus - The Plague

Posted by Bronwen Hyde at 15:41 BST
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30 May 2011
i don't want to let you go
Now Playing: angelo badalamenti - haunting & heartbreaking
Topic: self-portraiture

i don't want to let you go

him: when i asked you if you wanted to have dinner, i was actually inviting you on a date...
her: you know i'm leaving the country, right?

him: i can't understand why you've been single for so long.
her: i've been single, not celibate. there have been crushes, but i've not fallen in love with anyone for a long time.

him: i didn't know if i'd ever see you again. and i knew i'd regret it for the rest of my life if i didn't ask.

him: your hands are so small. every time i look at them i think, "jesus, i'm going to jail!"

her: i just want us to enjoy the time we have. i don't want to do long distance. when i make a decision - to break up a relationship, to move house, to move country - i immediately start looking forward, moving forward. i don't want to be in london but spend all my time looking back.

him: i've made a commitment to finishing my study and paying off my mortgage; i can't go anywhere for 3-4 years. after that i'll follow you anywhere.

her (through tears, less than 12 hours before they part indefinitely): i love you

her (a few hours later, clinging to him like her life depends on it): i don't want to let you go.

Posted by Bronwen Hyde at 17:31 BST
Updated: 30 May 2011 17:40 BST
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16 March 2011
somewhere in between
Now Playing: hüsker dü - ice cold ice
Topic: self-portraiture

somewhere in between

That's where I've been hiding these past few months - somewhere in between.

Things got a little crazy before I left Brisbane: the beginnings of a romance that snuck up on me played out to an incessant (though pleasant) soundtrack of summer rain; sad farewells; and packing my life into boxes whilst Brisbane flooded.

My trip to London was, by comparison, quite easy and uneventful. I made a couple of new friends on the plane - Greg from Manchester and Laura from Italy - and spent much of my time listening to my iPod and playing Solitaire.

On arrival I was met by my cousin's husband, Simon, and spent the first month staying with Julie, Simon & their three kids and their cat, Tabitha (shown above, whom I randomly found myself calling Kitterson), and reacquainting myself with Uxbridge, London, and getting on with the everyday endeavours of finding a job, opening a new bank account, and finding a place of my own to live.

On Friday I will have been here two months, and I have to admit I've somewhat landed on my feet. I've had a temporary day job since week three which now appears will take me through until my residency in April; I have a bank account which is gradually growing healthier; and as of the 5th of March, I have moved into a loft conversion in the northern suburbs of London.

Suffice to say sorting all those things out has not always given me as much time as I'd like to spend on editing photos, though I have been taking plenty, and hope to get onto editing in a big way over the coming weeks.

Since arriving I've been enjoying many of the sights and sounds and smells of London, including visiting the Taylor Wessing Portrait Prize at the National Portrait Gallery with Kerry Pringle after an afternoon wandering through the West End, Trafalgar Square and Covent Garden; wandering Portobello Road Market and savouring good food and cider with Scott; wandering Brick Lane with Phil to check out the area and the Brick Lane Gallery; taking in the Imperial War Museum with Ian and Zoe; and wandering alone through the Old Spitalfields Markets, and the City of London Cemetery in East London. In most instances my camera was kept handy, especially, as you'd imagine, at the cemetery.

In photographic-related adventures, I attended a one-day workshop that took place in a semi-derelict theatre in Eastbourne run by Miss Aniela and Brooke Shaden, where I had the chance to finally meet Sarah and Sevgi. I met again with the ladies, Matt and Amy and various other punters at a pub in Ealing as Brooke's final event whilst in the UK. And once more caught up with Natalie and Matt at the launch of her book, Self-Portrait Photography, at JaguarShoes in Shoreditch, also meeting Juliet Greig and stylist Rachel Holland.

I spent a day shooting still images of Jess and Chris to be included in my friend Stuart's short film, 'The Date Temptation', being thoroughly spoilt for food and drink by Stuart's wife, Shelley, who was also taking care of make-up.

So, as you can imagine, it's been a bit of a hectic two months, but things are now on track, so I can finally try to catch up on some of my backlog of editing, and get excited about my forthcoming residency at Hospitalfield, for which I am travelling by train in first class on my birthday. Hoorah!

I'm also finally having a chance to get rewards out to those wonderful folk who have made my residency possible, so thank you for your patience during my relocation!

I'm looking forward to meeting many more old and new friends over here, but for now I should probably call it a night! Will be back to regular posting from now on, I promise.

Posted by Bronwen Hyde at 02:06 BST
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