just to be loved
saturday in new york city
is not the perfect place
to contemplate
yet there i stood
surrounded by the breeze
and watched his long hair
wave in the breeze
he held the age old saxophone
though there was
nothing stale about its tone
his eyes were closed
as was his head
as he brought to life
my spirit's dead

just to be loved
like his weathered lips were to the brass
just to be loved
like his music was to time that passed
just to be loved
like you never heard my voice before
and yet you yield your ears
to drops that pour
from my soul

sitting in a walmart parking lot
waiting in the car
while my mom shops
thunder gently rocked the car
and i stare the window
to the storm
and see a little boy
caught in the rain
the mother in me
reaches for the door
but i stop
when i see a woman run
with an umbrella
for her son

just to be loved
like that hand clinged to the dress
just to be loved
like that little boy who could care less
just to be loved
like umbrellas there
to shelter us
and give us a warm place
to be close
to those we love

something's missing
when i see a father
kiss the bride
when i see a cancer patient
fighting to survive
when i see a man salute a flag
for which he'll die
when i see a movie character
live my life

give me a reason
to live
give me love
give me a reason
to live
give me love

song about being used
i poured my heart out
and you sipped it down
so nonchalantly
you always said you liked
your coffee straight black
but when your tongue got burned
you swore you never would forgive me
and now the doorbell's singing
"i want you back"

so what have you been smoking
that makes you think
that i would fall down and beg
pleading for the bit and the bridle
so you can break my spirit again

you opened up the letter of my soul
and read it out loud
then grabbed your pencil
and scratched out the mistakes
and crumbled me into a ball
that you threw to the wall
i bounced into the trashcan
"score" you said

so what have you been smoking
that makes you think
that i would fall down and beg
pleading for the bit and the bridle
so you can break my spirit again

you took my coffee and my poetry
but you didn't really love me
you took my coffee and my poetry
but you didn't love me

song about jeremy
a dizzying classroom
the children stare at their tests
except for one brown-eyed boy
whose head is not in this class
he's not thinking of girls
with all their pink bows and curls
besides he says he needs them
like a hole in the head
and speaking of guns
that's what his hands are thinking of
for he dreams of
hunting in africa

he continued his staring off
and somehow got a degree
and in between firearms
he financed a wedding ring
wakes up at 5am
work requires his shirts be collared
but he'd much rather be
in old boots and jeans
the traffic is loud
horns honking
he just sips his AZ iced tea
and plans out his future safari

years later
he's finally there
and feels right at home
in the dark jungle
and when he lays out the game
that he stalked and shot
he stares off
and sees not what
he used to see
for he sees his family

and even though
he's on the plane home
he fears no loss cause
his mind is filled with thoughts
of returning one day
with the son
that he will have raised
who holds the torch his father gave
with africa's blaze

G#, A, E
Topic: song written 11.22.04

vs1
driving so fast in my car
i race against my broken heart
my window is rolled down
the cold wind stings my face

i am numb
my heart is stone
weak as i am
i crawl to your throne
and from my knees
you lift me
(chorus is piano solo, some vocals)

vs2
your arms tightly hold me
though a wicked heart beats
you gently stroke my hanging head
though its thoughts have already strayed

i am safe now
but i climb down
off of your lap
and i try to stand
(building)
i lean on this world
but it collapses
i embrace its wealth
but it spends me
(building/bridge)
i hide in the shade
that soon fades away
sunlight beats down
on my tear-stained face

and i hear
a voice singing
"come back to me
my child"

(building/progression to major chords)
so i get up
and i run back
into your arms
("triumphant" piano solo)

ending
you use the weak
to shame the strong
i know this when
you give me the sword
(fading out)

The Tale of the Flower's Prisoner
Topic: this poem led to F#m7

the frailty of the flower
has swallowed me whole
i am caged inside
its dark and hollow belly
no one will ever see my true state
for my prison is beneath
the brightly colored petals


soon a passerby
will smell the heady fragrance
and casually pick me
as he strolls
casually end my life
as he whistles a merry tune

and as his faith in peace and beauty
is fueled by a glance to me
i utter a silent warning
breathe my last
and wilt away long before my glowing body

Cannot Write Enough About Rain
Topic: random thoughts on rain

*
drops of light fall from the skies
born of pure, angelic eyes
into my black eyes they splash
mingled, life and death now clash

*
days of rain are meant to be
washed in thought and reverie
reality--its colors fade
in pools of utopian facade

*
i am dancing in your rain
raindrops of your love
drop, i soak them in

*
rain falls from my eyes
as stars fall from the skies

Discongruent Poem (i will revise later)
Topic: poem about being broken
how beautiful to be broken
how lovely a thing to fall
i need You the most when i am helpless
and i feel that my dreams have gone

i lay alone in my bed
and surrender to my fears
i swim against the current
of my river flood of tears

sleep let go of my hand
i fall restlessly all night long
i wish i would crash into the land
but i land only to fall...

i fall into a dream:

...the crowd parts as the sea
or is that just my imagination
i wander alone amid my "friends"--
the kings and queens of fashion

i walk on alone until i find
a meadow, and i look to the sky
i see Your face, Your tears rain down
i never felt alive till now!

i stand unmoved, face upturned
soaking in Your love for me
with every drop, a chain link breaks
i am defeated, but i am finally free!

Your tears of love spill on my face
they wash away the dirt and shame
purity mingles with disgrace...
i smile and then i wake

Written in the Music Building at ECCC
Topic: simple poem of thanks

alone in a quiet place
fingers softly pluck the strings

music is a gift to me
my soul thanks the Lord

music soothes the restless soul
like a mother's hand to a child's head

music is a gift to me
my soul thanks the Lord

my passion is stirred within me
songs ignite a once dark forest

music is a gift to me
my soul thanks the Lord

in melodies the time is lost
its a world that disregards time

music is a gift to me
my soul thanks the Lord

frail voices crash through the night
stumbling yet near the finish line

music is a gift to me
my soul thanks the Lord

my heart is given strength, divine
as a bird routinely sings

music is a gift to me
my soul thanks the Lord

(i will add more to this poem eventually)

Traces of You
Topic: poem about creation
i stand alone, face upturned
soaking in the light and blue
in this meadow my soul burns
i need no other trace of You

the trees--so giant, graceful green
dance in winds to your tune
they praise a God, once unseen
i need no other trace of You

soft clouds seen in many forms
invade the sky in herds or few
if on the warpath, charcoal storms
i need no other trace of You

raindrops freefall to the earth
silent screams, their end is soon
but You grant them all rebirth
i need no other trace of You

flowers never smelled or touched
shine in blissful solititude--
their Creator is enough
i need no other trace of You

i stepped out of the meadow dream
and into heavy pain anew
this prayer rose with my heart's steam:
"why can't i find a trace of You?"

Unfinished Song
Topic: it's still in the works

vs1
we both step upon the stones
but your feet bleed
mine don't
our heart and blood is the same
but you alone now slip away

i stand unmoved, confused

chorus
help, police,
it's murder
it's me
letting you die

vs2
boy, what happened to your gun
your defense
is weak
fears circle 'round your head
like a cursed halo

i watch the demons dance

repeat chorus

...
(and that's where i ran out of gas...but i will finish this song before christmas if i can)