The Dreaming

To me, the dreaming is something special. It is a place where you can be who you want and do what you want. The dreaming shows you who your true self is, the dreaming tells you when you are not listening to your heart and sometimes, sometimes, The Dreaming lets you reach out to others. There have been times when a dream foretells the future, at times it is clear and you know what will happen, others it is not until after it happens that you know you knew it already. Now I have decided to track the dreaming. You will be tracking it with me.

Another World Sometimes I dream this dream of a Barren land, the earth is red and dry, very rocky. When I lay my feet on the ground, the rocks crumble beneath my weight. I can look out for miles upon miles and see nothing. There is no water, no vegetation or animals for that matter. All there is is a large city floating in the sky.

Dream startsLost in the deep shadows of the strange cave that I had stumbled into, I wonder what had happened, why I can remember walking in but how did I end up back out here? Where did these strange markings come from? I have faint memories, almost as if they are from a long forgotten dream. My heart skips a beat as I hear a pebble clinking against the rock face. I look around to see what has caused the pebble, there is nothing. No one. Still empty. It's time to go. There is money to be made today. I haven't eaten for days.

I turn around and hop onto my bike, still thinking about the day, but excited about the rest of the day. It is payday for government workers. They always have someone's back to stab. Pressing my thumb into the start button. It tries to start, but doesn't. I try again. No, it doesn't looks like my bike will not start today. I get off and start to push it. It is a few miles away, I hope that I can make it before dark.

As I near the city gates, I can hear the activity above, it sounds as if they are holding a festival. I curse silently to myself, that means that someone else has gotten my work, some rich person has gotten their way. I hope there is still work for me. I slide my bike onto the transportation dock, pressing my id chip into the slot. The signal lights up and I am allowed in.

There is no work today. I am hungry, It has been so long since the last time I ate. Maybe I can find some work in the labor camps tomorrow. I walk my still not running bike down an old alley, say hello to my usual neighbors, find my usual spot and chain myself to my bike as I settle in for another long night.

I am wakened by a nudge in my rib cage. "Owe that hurts" as I jump to my feet getting tangled in the chains. There is a dark figure standing in front of me, he is wearing some sort of weird blanket, or coat, something, it has a piece of cloth that covers his head and droops slightly over his face. Made of some sort of strange rough material I have never seen.He laughs loudly waking the neighbors from their sleep. "Girl, am I to believe that you are the daughter of the Empress? I had thought she would be so much more to see." I grogely reply, "I am not the daughter of the empress, you have me mistaken for someone else, can you go now so that we can rest?" He leans over, he is so tall, grabbing my arm roughly and grinding his teeth together , roughly says, you are the daughter of the empress and you will be coming with me.

Stricken with terror, I can hear the chains clanging to the ground. He is so strong, how can I get free of his grip?I am not who he thinks I am. The empress doesn't even have a daughter. He is holding my arm where one of those marks is. They are still sore, like thousands of tiny needles pricking into me. The world seems to be fading, I feel like I am falling. Everything is gone now.

It is warm like a late summer afternoon. There is a strange crackling noise I have never heard before and my shadow is dancing against the wall. My heart is pounding in my chest. A soft sweat voice pushing air gently along my back " I thought you would never wake up" I turn around to see a strange looking Boy in front of me., He couldn't be much older than I am. His skin a soft light color that I have never seen. Looking fragile enough that I would fear touching him. His hair in thin strands of a light yellow color. Almost white.His eyes crystalline blue, like the water in the pictures.

I am in a cave again. I wonder if it is the same cave I was in earlier. There is some strange orange thing dancing in front of me. It is very hot.

May 31st 2001 Last night I had a dream almost like a nightmare. It had to have been caused by all this studying I have been doing lately. I dreamed of pages and pages, like over a hundred full of code, and somewhere in all this code was a flaw that made it so the program wouldn't work. I kept searching and searching for this hidden bug. The dream went on forever..Okay. Maybe coding is really on my mind for me to be dreaming it now.

June 2nd 2001Monster under the houseI dreamt a horrific dream last night of a monster under my houes, I won't go into detail but I wll speak a little. The monster was living under the house, it was four or five feet long and reptilian two feet tall. It had three heads, one large two small ones coming off its shoulders, it had six legs. It was fast, faster than any creature I have seen. And vicouse. In my dream my brother came over to help us get rid of it, he came with a large staff to knock it out and take it to the university for research. He was battling with it for a long time, I was guarding the unlocked door with a gun(it was unlocked for fast escape for my brother.) He had to get away so he ran inside and the beast followed him, It was so fast and I had never shot a gun before. I shot it, but I only managed to get its tale as it came running so fast into the house.

It did slow it down, although my aim was horrible, I found that the gun made a good clubbing device and I wacked it hard on its large heaad, knocking it out. wethrew it in a large cage, and looked in the hole, it had three babies. Which were not vicous at all, rather cute and sweet.That is the sum of this odd dream. I don't usually dream of monsters, so I thought i should write this.

Tuesday June 5th 2001Achievements
I dreamed this last night. I dreamed a dream of looking back over my life at major accomplishments, and significant things.. I even looked back a t a charector in D&D that I loved, Alanna MonDragon. I lived her life. That was strange. Dreaming of breaking into an institution to save her good friend Gimley. I also dreamed of being in junior high..I finished three school grades in one year.. I was also ASB president and many other things.. High school I was so advanced in school that they had nothing to offer me. Sad but true. I ended up as a student aid to my science teacher to get credits. Helping him teach genetics, and tutoring students. I also was the director of drama.. President of debate.. So forth. Still ASB too. HAH! That was me. Seems another lifetime. There was alot my dream had covered, the most significant thing to me was something that has not happened. I dreamed of finishing this C++, becoming certified, and going back to Microsoft. I dreamed of being invited to some silly motivational speech. Accepting and having to write a speech. By that time, I was not just certifed C++ though. I had gained other certifications too.. To be standing in front of the people that thought they were that much better than me. Giving this speech. I know this has a significance my subconcious mind is telling me.. I think I may understand it. But I am very reflective on it.

Wednesday June 13th 2001 Prince of Darkness
I am in the kitchen cleaning up. I feel a stir of the air and a slight chill be hind me. There is a prickly feeling going up my spine. It has been a long time since I ha ve felt this sensation. I very long time. In fact if I remember right the last time I was 14 years of age. That would be 7 years ago.

I turn around to look at him. he is tall with dark dark hair and Soft brown skin. Very soft. His eyes are dark brown almost black.

He stills my breath waiting in anticipation for what he is here for. I tighten up, nervous slightly backing away frm him, remembering the last times he had come here for me. choking on my words., "what do you want?, I thought you were done with me?" I sound like a frightened little girl..I feel like one too.

He says to me in a voice that touches every sense, every nerve and feeling in my body."It's time for you to come with me. You are done growing now."

He reaches out his had to me, softly touching my face. "I have waited so long for this" Oh ! the words hit me like no words ever have before. I just want to go away with him, to melt into his tide of everlasting bliss. His soft touch., his carress across my face. It brings back the memories of many times before he had come. I melt before me. I am his. There is no use fighting it again. My tired heart has become too tired to fight.

I places his arms around me pulling me closer to him, he reaches down to me, gently kissing my lips..He is so warm,. His lips ar so inviting, Before I know It I feel as if we are one person again. he holds me tight to him, I can feel his heart racing against mine..he starts to kiss my cheek, my ear..he reaches down to my neck with his kisses..His heart is beating faster. So much faster.

He bites down on me.. It hurts so bad. I never once though that it would hurt. I have known for so long this day would come, in my mind passing it off. Trying to convince myself it wouldn't. What brought him back to me after so long? I lose myself in thought, wondering if it was the new page on my website, or if it was the dreaming coming back so strong. Was it the feeling of the other man so near me again?

He starts to take my clothing off. I am clay in his hands. I will do whatever he wants., But I had never thought it would involve this. Faintly in he back of my mind I hear the door open. He has not gotten my cloths off yet, but I feel him stiffen he turns, I can see my dagger sticking out of his back.

He turns to mist before me and dissapears.

I look up, the daze starts to leave my mind, although I am still foggy and remember all that has happened as if it were a dream. I feel weak , very weak, as if one of my worst anemic attacks has hit me yet. I fall to the ground, crying out mom..In a heap of tears a sit on the ground, my legs folded underneath me and my face in my hands.

I can hear a wind growing outside, and Raven is hear now..That's right, Mom went to pick Raven up for me. I can hear something else. A rumbling noise. and the wind is getting stronger. I say 'Mom, we better go to my room. Those Pictures you painted over when I moved out, They are protective heiroglyphs. We should be safe in there." Mom reaches down her hand to help me up I can see the pain on her face from bending over. She lets out a puff of breath. This is too much for her. I brush aside her hand and grab onto the ledge of the counter top instead.

"Just get Raven in there. I'll be right in." As I am getting up I see a glint of something shining. It's my dagger. By the door. He must have dropped it when he changed form. I slowly make my way ther and stoop over to pick it up.

I am very weak. I don't know what I am going to do. The wind is picking up., Something is going to happen. I am walking to my room now, trailing my hand along the wall in case I start to faint. I get to the door. Looking outside the back window. I see someting glinting like eyes. The wind is so strong now there are branches flying in the air. Also small objects. I let the back curtain drop and walk into the bedroom, stopping at the computer desk to light some incense. Raven and my mother are huddled next to each other on my bed.

I also light a single candle, one that has a metal case around it, with the word wisdom cut out in chinese charecters. I sit on the bed in cross legged fashion, closing my eyes and drifting into meditation. I am calling out to her to come to my aid and guide me. She is here, I can see her now. AS I stay in meditation I can feel my mother in raven there with me giving their strength. There are others too, trying to push their way past the walls. The fortress we have built around the room. The glyphs are glowing now, radiating with the energy I am infusing them with.

Stuff is beating against the house from the wind. We sit in meditation for a long time. It seems like days, but I know it is maybe two hours at the most. WE have lost power, all the light that illuminates us are the glowing glyphs and the one single candle. While I am meditating, she tells me that I have to go to them, the only reason she is helping is so that it is not with Raven and my mother watching. The storm stops. I get up and tell my mother I have to go outside now. I have to finish what was started. Please watch Raven for me. I walk to the door, lifting the curtain one more time, The world is glowing a strange silvery grey color. I can see..A large cat sitting on the porch. I look around and see other eyes glowing at me. Other cat's walking towards the porch..ther are alot of them

I look out. Moms car is no longer in the carport. it is several feet away. There are also two minivans in the yard. One with a tree sticking through the window. The storm was bad. I tell my mom good bye and give Raven a hug and kiss. I turn around open the door and step out. I am greated by one of these large cats. I look into his eys. Knowing what he has to say and listening. Only communicating through the eyes.

A limping form walks out..It's him..He changes into the person that I have known for so long. ~ Then I hear an aweful BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP~ end of dream.

Sometime late in June. This dream I did not write down, but I will now. It is important to me.
It is another dream that takes place on the back porch..Dream starts. I am sitting with my mother in the living room talking..About what? I am not sure..Just talking about daily stuff. I start to feel a bruning sensation of all negative emotions searing through my back. I feel as if they are coming to me from outside in the back yard. I get up and walk down the hallway. Lift the curtain on the back door, outside my back yard is a large carport with a cement porch, surrounding the carport are unusual vines growing up the beams to provide extra shade and privacy. Yes my house is pretty in the old fashioned way. outside of the carport is an open area for parking. If you look out you will notice that the opening is a perfect circle, enclosed by trees and forest to three sides and the house on the other. Very pretty.

back to dream There is a circle of mist surrounding the clearing just at the edge to the forest.The mist, is the great mist of the Beyound.It is thick and sparkly, the many sparkles of the early morning dew, with small electrical sparks flying between the drops. Standing at the edge of the mist, just barely inside of the circle is a very tall fierce stag. He has eyes that flash with flame and no matter how hard the wind blows he stands firm with out a hair misplaced..Yes he is the aura of magesty..He is..On eof my guardian spirits..(Normally I would never put name to it, but in this circumstance it's okay) He looks at me, our eyes meet and his flames grow stronger and the feeling is even colder.I know he hates me and is hurt by me..The precence of my guardian who is always with me grows stronger behind me until the point where my mother can see her. She is glowing white with rays coming out of all sides of her. The essesnce of all beauty. I won't describe her any more.She tells me that he and I have been seperated, we are no longer a part of each other, he has been driven mad by the seperation. She will aid me if I need it. He is getting angry he starts to move his legs like a bull getting ready to attack. There is.. Steam coming from his nostrils..He breaths. I never knew it. He has taken physical form.

Off to the left of him I can see a form coming from the beyound. It steps through. It is a small dwarf like man dressed and appearing much log hoggle of The Labrynth..He has a belt with all sorts of gadgets hanging from it..A Tinker Gnome!(thats what I call people like that) He comes runnign on his short little legs over to the door. He says " I have a message from my master" touches my hand. When he touches my hand it is as if I am standing with his master..A man I have dreamed with many times. He is a close friend in the dreaming.. A..sorcerer. he has sent a message that he has been watching me and he had a preminition that the stag would attack, he has made magic locks so that the stag will not be able to enter my home. He has sent his best man to install them. I offer to help him so we can get it done faster.

We are hurridly installing these locks when the stag attacks. He comes charging forward I can see that his horns are very sharp. Inever saw that of him. He lowers his head so that he will be coming right at us with them, I only have a second. Out of instinct I raise my hand and a glowing energy spurts out of my palm like a spiderweb closing in the entryway to my door with heiroglyphs. As he comes crashing into it he gets sent back with sparks. It is like a force feild. That is the end of this dream.

outside of dream The stag is no longer my guardian. I know it in my heart and soul. But I feel a new presence, one that is much older and deeply spiritual. I am loking forward to meeting my new guardian someday. When I am ready. Another strange thing. In my area there are no large snakes. We have small harmless ones. The next day there was a large snake outside on my back porch. It was..three or four feet long and fairly fat. Larger than a golf ball. In Egypt., Snakes carry the spirits of higher entities away once they have seen defeat. I don't know if it is connected.

July 22nd 2001 LOVING AN ALIEN
Okay it has been a while since I have written in her, not saying I have stopped dreaming. On the contrary I dream every evening and every dream is special to me. You can probabl guess a little on this one. I do dream of not being human alot.

Dream starts I wake up more refreshed than I have ever been in a nights sleep. I get up out of bed with a spring. The air seems crisp and fresh. Walk out of my bedroom across the hallway to the restroom. Without looking at the mirror or anything for that matter, I fall into my daiy routine. Turn on the water, cold. Hold my hands under the water for a few minutes. Cold fresh water running over me..OH so nice. I cup my hands and let them fill with water, lean down towards the sink and splash my face with water. Reach up to where I keep the toothe brush and paste. Spread the paste over the brush put it in my mouth then start brushing. Look in the mirror.

I look different today. My eyes seem to be glowing stronger than they ever have in the past. See my eyes have a certain glowing of depth behind them. This time it is as if you are looking into the eyes of a girl who has lived a hundred thousand years and never lost her passion for life. I step in the shower washing my body of the past evenings sleep. When I step out I go upstairs and carefully select what I will wear for the day. Raven is gone for the weekend so I decide to leave the house, it is still mid day, but maybe I will see someone.

I am at a local coffee shop now, sitting at the bar listening to the music and letting the sun shine through the windows on my back. It is very soothing. I have a feeling of a friend being near so I call to him in my mind to come. Shortly after he is there ,I turn around and smile." I was waiting for you. I wanted to show you something" We then leave, we get in my car and start driving. I ask him if he has plans for the day, he says no. So we head to eastern Washington. We go over the mountains and into the desert. We veer right off the highway onto a long dirt road. We travel on this road up onto platue and park the car. I ask him to take my hand for a moment. As his hand is in my hand I can feel he is nervouse ,his heart is beating so fast and his hand is clammy. Looking at him I smile so warmly, "Do you trust me?" He meekly replies"I think so." "have some faith in me." I keep his hand in my hand letting my spirit seep into him through our palms, He is starting to mesh with me. I don't think he knows it. I Close my eyes and concentrate, I have to feel him and myself and let us be free. I can feel it. I tell him to close his eyes ,when I know that his eyes are closed I let us soar. I can feel the ground lifting away from our feet. I think in my mind to him, "you can open your eyes now" We are floating in the sky above the desert in eastern washington. There is nothing for miles around, no one will see us. "don't let go of me"I send him soothing thoughts and take off. As fast as an eagle coming down on its prey we fly through the sky.I take him to a place I had dreamed of that previous night, a dip between the plateus in shade with grass. I say "I knew you were like me, that is why I took you here." After that we bound and become very close, as we are two people very alike in a strange and foreign world.