Wheel of Fire Special #4: Inner Circle Written by Razorclaw X (spiceoflife@NYChotmail.com) http://www.crosswinds.net/~slythe/ranma/ranff.html Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2 and characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi. And all that other good stuff. Proper licenses belong to respective properties and characters. The manga has precedence over material in the anime. This file can be freely distributed so long as it appears in its complete form and proper credit. No part may be reproduced for monetary gain without permission from the author. ------------------------------------------------ # You are now logged onto #NexusZero # The number of users in channel are: 17 # The current topic is: "Goose... cooked, or steamed?" BWidow> Hey there Takeshi> Well if it isn't Grand Master Shi! Warlock> I see all the usual suspects are here # CSpider has joined #NexusZero Warlock> Glad you could make it, Kanna CSpider> Hey Shi. It's hard finding a good connection point in Sticksville, so I'm payin' out of my ass for satellite linkup. Jerkmeister> Is that everybody? Partyhorse> Probably... unless Death (Shi) over there wants to pull in more girlfriends into this club Warlock> That's MASTER (Shi) to you, bud CSpider> C'mon, you know Horse just does that to get you riled up. Why are you so gullible? BWidow> Actually I think it's kinda funny. I used to pull that kanji stuff on Kuno, too. BWidow> So where is your girlfriend, anyway? Warlock> She's not my girlfriend. CSpider> Gullible. Warlock> Shizuka stopped by my house earlier today and asked me for money. Apparently she's going to go out and buy a new set of clothes or something.... Ziel> That sucks, your girl just wants money. BWidow> Anything's gotta be better than her tacky taste. At least she isn't hanging around my house anymore. Ziel> What was she doing at YOUR house? BWidow> (shrug) some badger ate her beads or something like that and it went spastic, then she went spastic CSpider> Warlock: So you gave her the cash Warlock> If I didn't I wouldn't be here, would I? :P Jerkmeister> LOL you suck Ziel> Ask her out already! Warlock> No Partyhorse> Hey CS, how's it hangin' in Sticksville? CSpider> Terrible. Not a decent bath for miles. My hobby these days is shining my blade. Partyhorse> That bad? CSpider> No, not really. Just that everyone seems to want a piece of me these days, asking me if such-and- such is a good idea like I'm some wiseman. I swear I'll kick Mousse's ass for dragging me out here. I think that weenie Wash is coming on to me. Takeshi> Umm... great. Ziel> What? You blow the bandwidth again? Takeshi> I didn't think Kanna'd be back this soon Ziel> Or was that porn really, really bad? CSpider> So what were the odds? Partyhorse> haha... you owe me 2000 yen now! :) CSpider> That's it? I thought I'd be worth more than that... Warlock> I think you should've graduated first CSpider> Why? Warlock> I mean, shit, you were almost through and now you take a leave. What the hell were you thinking? Ziel> same I can say for you, Shi CSpider> I can finish when I feel like it. It's not like I can direct a war every day Warlock> Ziel: I'm more respectable than you anyway BWidow> Warlock: Yeah right Ziel> Warlock: Until I get Interpol on your ass :) Partyhorse> Not this again BWidow> What? Partyhorse> Oh right, you're new, so you don't know CSpider> Oh god, here we go again Acid> CS: if only horse would just shut up about it Acid> Crap, wrong window Partyhorse> BWidow: Warlock got really well to hack into the government computers, but apparently it was a setup. This was a while ago. Thing is they really wanted to see how safe their systems were. Partyhorse> Acid: Freudian slip? :P Partyhorse> BWidow: Of course Warlock figured it out on his own, but he did it anyway because they paid him good. BWidow> He let himself get caught? Warlock> Hey, stop talking as if I'm not here! :) Partyhorse> BWidow: No. Best part is while he was going through the dummy files Warlock threw in a bunch of notes telling them how easy it was. He then got the dummy files and gave them back to his employers, throwing in another note Warlock> It was "Pay me twice my fee and I'll fix your leaks." They didn't go for it, those bastards... Warlock> Although the worst shit was this: the dummies were on the same server as the real one, so I threw in a bunch of plants so I can get in easier later. It's good that the government pays me to take advantage of them :) BWidow> So what kinds of stuff have you stolen? Warlock> Nothing, really. I just like looking at the stuff and keeping tabs on everything. Information from the highest sources, you know. Ziel> And that nobody smart would pay his fee ;) CSpider> and then of course they want his ass, too. Jerkmeister> Plenty of dumbshits get fed some really bad stuff Warlock> LOL, I remember sending that CIA loser a virus that was supposed to be Iraqi weapons placement plans, and boy was that shithead mad BWidow> But doesn't that mean you went back on your pay? Warlock> No. I did give him the plans, but he was too busy dealing with the virus. Why can't these spy guys do their own dirty work? They're SUPPOSED to be better than I am! CSpider> You get exactly what you pay for.... Acid> Only the DUMB Feds turn to guys like us. The SMART Feds recruit help Ziel> BWidow: Warlock hates working for any of the big groups like government agencies and mafias, because they always try to force him to choose sides. So he gives them incentive NOT to hire him again. Ziel> It's good to be neutral if you're mercenary Warlock> And sometimes it doesn't work, and they still hire me again anyway Acid> It's not like everyone's Bond or stuff, you know BWidow> Ziel: I see Partyhorse> Bond's no spy, he's a pimp CSpider> Bond's also phony, too Acid> CS: Is not! :) Warlock> That reminds me... another funny story Ziel> really BWidow> What this time? * Ziel hides in a corner Warlock> Some loser wanted to know how to mod his Playstation Takeshi> Someone actually paid you for that? Warlock> Actually, I wasn't paid... Ziel> wait, I think you told me this already Warlock> Some crackhead on #nukers gave out my contact address I used to have to another shithead lamer... this was back when there were no such thing as standard mod chips, I'm telling ya, so knowing how to do it was a demanded skill. CSpider> Disc swap was simpler... Warlock> Course, it's a piece of cake to figure it out, but it takes too long to make my own chips. So this lamer contacts me about modding his stupid PSX and I think I'll play with him Warlock> So I lured the lamer on a private, secure channel and I walked him through the process, without the need of a chip. What I did was tell this sucker how to fry his console, and he fell for it. BWidow> You're sick CSpider> BWidow: the best stuff in life doesn't come free, either Warlock> Wait, it's not over. So this lamer fried his PSX, and I'm sitting there laughing my ass off while he's making all sorts of threats on me... like he got my IP address and can take away my service... Ziel> And if he tried he'd only run into a dummy Warlock> He even told me his pop was a lawyer and he could sue my ass Partyhorse> LOL! Acid> lol Warlock> Later on I looked into this lamer again, and he got arrested for fraud. Seems he bought another PSX at the store and tried to replace it with his fried one, and return it Partyhorse> Serves him right Takeshi> loser BWidow> My god, Shi, you guys are sick * Jerkmeister notes, "That is the understatement of the year!" CSpider> Welcome to the club, so glad you noticed Ziel> It takes a certain kind of person to become part of the Inner Circle, you know. Apparently Warlock thinks you got the right stuff.... Partyhorse> yeah, he spills the beans on every girl he runs across. Where's Chika these days? Warlock> Working. She's respectable now. And Shizuka figured it out by herself, and Nabiki here just got a bit too close. BWidow> It's Akane's fault. She told me you were an information broker. Ziel> And you just put two-and-two together, huh? That's either really smart, or really dumb. Warlock> That's what I get for getting involved too deep. BWidow> I'd think you'd have to kill your sister for leaving Partyhorse> Dude, we're not pirates Jerkmeister> Horse: Mafia Ziel> All our goals is to become respectable Partyhorse> Jerk: whatever BWidow> Riiight... CSpider> BWidow: What good is being so gifted if you can't share it with the rest of the world? That's what respectability is all about; we get recognized. CSpider> As it stands we're just underground, and that is where we're known only. Kinda sucks. Acid> Ego hurts so much it bleeds... Takeshi> Speak for yourself, I like things the way they are :) Ziel> That's because you've got a shitload of porn and warez on your HD! Acid> Ziel: lol it's so true he'd land himself in jail for life with all that shit BWidow> I thought Warlock was up with that warez junk Warlock> It's way too much trouble for my tastes, and besides, this way splits the load. I'm the boss, I delegate the tasks, is all. Ziel> And you get most of the cut ;) Acid> Jealous, Ziel? BWidow> Actually why don't you invite Shizuka into the circle? She already gets paid a lot of money to do what she does. Warlock> I'm not asking her in, she has to WANT in first BWidow> What makes you think *I* wanted in? Ziel> And he doesn't want to work with his girlfriend Warlock> You came to us. That's good enough for me Warlock> Ziel: shut up CSpider> Putting up with Chika was bad enough; she absolutely sucks, Shi, and you know it. Acid> what'd you expect from small-scale fish? no wonder she got respectable first, easy to satisfy BWidow> Then what am I supposed to be doing, anyway? Warlock> Don't you know already? I'm training you to become the new administrator. Ziel> What?! It's not going to be me? :( Partyhorse> Umm.. the newbie needs to be shown the ropes first, Ziel Warlock> Ziel: I'm not going anywhere for a while, not until I really become respectable. That's when I'm leaving; it's just I need more free time to myself lately. Ziel> Warlock: Girlfriend... Warlock> .... CSpider> ... Ziel> Damn I want a girlfriend, too Acid> Ziel: get respectable Ziel> Acid: now you got me considering it :) Warlock> dang, brb; looks like Shizu came back # You are now known as Warlock-away Ziel> Tell us more loverboy! * Acid whacks Ziel with a 2 by 4 CSpider> Oh bother, leave him alone this joke is getting old. Ziel> So who's tutoring the newbie? BWidow> I'm still here, you know CSpider> Not me, I'm busy. I think Warlock's doing it Acid> Well, ain't she privilaged BWidow> Jealous? Acid> I don't care Ziel> BWidow: Acid and Warlock are old rivals. They're both into the hacking stuff Acid> Ziel: which is more than I can say for you. *I* don't know what you do Ziel> Acid: I don't do anything :P Jerkmeister> THAT much is a given.... # You are now known as Warlock Warlock> Back Ziel> And...? CSpider> Took you long enough. What the hell were you doing? Warlock> What'd you expect? She finished shopping, and tried to give me the change back, then went home. BWidow> And you didn't take it? Acid> Of course he didn't. He wouldn't be good if he did BWidow> What's that supposed to mean? Warlock> I'm a nice guy ;) Ziel> When baiting a fish, it's best not to throw everything you've got into the first go Acid> Lesson #1 is patience. You can't expect everything to go your way on the first time Takeshi> Of course if it does no argument :) Warlock> Of course that doesn't even begin to cover the Three Cardinal Rules of the Inner Circle CSpider> aka the long-winded name for three stupid rules BWidow> And they are...? Warlock> Thought you'd never ask. Rule #1: Do your best BWidow> Should've known... CSpider> Well, duh Warlock> Rule #2: Once you've given me your best, you give me even more Warlock> And Rule #3: Do what I say. BWidow> Uh, right Ziel> The last one is the most important, of course. After that everything is fine and dandy :) CSpider> It's one of the perks of being a founder of the Inner Circle. BWidow> So who are the other founders? Ziel> The rest of us, mainly, and most of the guys here were invited, just like you. Acid was invited, too Acid> It's nice to have a big ego, but even better to bounce that ego off others who understand CSpider> BWidow: Me, Warlock, Ziel, Kurdrac, and Zeroc BWidow> You mean friends Acid> Not necessarily Jerkmeister> Acid: true BWidow> CS: the other two don't seem to say anything CSpider> Oh, they're watching all right, they just don't say much these days. Busy with other stuff, but they keep in touch. Ziel> Zeroc used to be the head guy, but he stepped down after real life started weighing him down. Got respectable and all that, and so did Kurdrac BWidow> So why don't either of you become the new administrators? CSpider> I don't have time for that kind of crap Warlock is doing Ziel> Hey, sometimes the best seat is behind the throne :) Warlock> Whatever Acid> Basically nobody else wants the job; consider yourself fortunate BWidow> Yeah, sure Partyhorse> Gotta go, Mom's made her caserole Acid> C'ya later CSpider> later horse Takeshi> bye... * Partyhorse has quit IRC BWidow> Hmm... dinner's going to be ready soon. I'd better leave, too Warlock> BWidow: btw, how's the new line working? BWidow> Like a dream. Nobody but me knows it's here, and it's only wired to my room. Everyone thinks I'm still using the phone line if I'm on the net. CSpider> That'll only work until someone decides to call BWidow> I don't care. Ziel> Oh yeah, before you go, we gotta lay a few more ground rules. Acid> Yeah, you can't go around telling us we're here; that'd beat the purpose of Nexus Zero BWidow> Well, duh CSpider> Hang on, Mousse is begging for attention again. BRB * CSpider is now known as CSpider-away Warlock> BWidow: So long as you're using the account and line we gave you, your transmissions will be secure, and all IDs scrambled on a regular basis. Only log into these places with that line, or you can't get in. We control who comes in and comes out. Warlock> Further, if for some reason information of our existance, and how to get in, become available, your account will be terminated permanently, and instead will be routed directly to a porn site of our choosing. Ziel> Or at Takeshi's discretion.... Warlock> And should you decide to work against the interests of the Inner Circle as a whole, no matter who you are in the chain of command, you'll be hunted down and dealt with accordingly. BWidow> Such as? Acid> We haven't had to do it yet. Don't even tempt us to remedy that. Ziel> BWidow: strap you into a prototype Mishima weapon and hope it blows up Warlock> You will maintain an air of strict neutrality in all but the most important matters, which include alliances, favors, and codes CSpider-away> and the whims of the founders Ferret> Ziel: Hey, I saw that! Jerkmeister> I see Ayame's awake, after all BWidow> Ferret: You're Ayame Mishima? Ferret> Who else would use such a dumb name? Of COURSE I'm here. Warlock> Yeah, and because of it, Mishima Heavy Industries is afforded special privilages. Any and all deals which work against it will be denied, but that also offers their services to our disposal. BWidow> Next thing you'll tell me Kuno's part of this, too Ferret> Darn straight. Warlock> BWidow: We've used his services from time to time, but he ain't a member. We haven't seen it fit to draw another wealthy member yet. Ziel> And besides, the guy is stupid enough to think we're working for HIM BWidow> Ah, Kasumi's calling... gotta go. * BWidow has left #NexusZero Acid> you oughta kick her if she's away for long Warlock> Acid: Sure. Acid> You sure you know what you're doing? I mean, to bring in an outsider specifically to administer us? Warlock> I've been watching this one for a while. She doesn't begin to understand the scope of the task, but she'll manage. Nabiki's just like us, only she's much more prone to mistakes. I intend to correct that Ziel> Hah, good luck. Takeshi> I don't see how she's anything like us. Ferret> She likes money. Don't we all? Acid> I could care less about the money; all it does for me is keep me up and running. Warlock> Acid: same here. Money is just a byproduct of my hobby CSpider-away> but still you can't deny that money helps heaps * CSpider-away is now known as CSpider Takeshi> Yeah, so what if someone offers her loads to turn us in? Then what? Jerkmeister> Takeshi: you say that EVERY time a new guy comes in Takeshi> hey, we can get put away for years for the crap we do; international espionage and all Warlock> That's only assuming they can catch us first. Me and Acid made several failsafes for that, they won't ever get past level 1 Acid> And assuming she got to the authorities before we got to her. We've still got the Section mind-wipe/ suicide drug handy. Ziel> Warlock: That's what they thought in Eva... CSpider> Acid: Turning her into a veggie would only make things look suspicious, I'd prefer selective memory wiping CSpider> Eva's just a stupid anime, this is real life Ferret> CSpider: that may be possible in the near future... not promising anything, those Section goons like witholding stuff from my uncle Warlock> Hey, some people need a hobby... Ziel> Ferret: Section can suck it, all they do is twiddle their thumbs Acid> Except she knows some of us on a first-name basis, and can finger us. In that case we'd have to sever ourselves physically for all time. CSpider> Acid: Ziel can handle Nabiki; she's no fighter Ferret> Ziel: Better to be on the inside track than not at all CSpider> Her brother-in-law, on the other hand, may be a bit much for him; he's a toughie Ziel> CS: What's that? There's someone that's a match for our resident martial artist? Warlock> Gotta go, Chika wants my help with her homework. Jerkmeister> tell her to stuff it... j/k Ziel> Cya Warlock CSpider> Later Shi Acid> Cya Warlock> Catch y'all later # Disconnected ----------------------------------------------- Author's Rant Okay, so it was ANC-centric, but like the badger that haunts these side stories it just won't go away. I chose to do it in an IRC format because I thought it could be done... while sitting in IRC. I wanted to see how much personality I can pull through with simple lines of text, because it seems to work IRL. It also gave the opportunity to introduce the Inner Circle, to which several ANCs belong to, and clear up their shady roles/relationships they had in WoF. I also thought I'd introduce Ziel into the mix as well, for what it's worth. The deal with the names is this: although the characters are different the pronounciation for both 'master' and 'death' is 'shi' (the number 'four' is considered unlucky for this reason, as it is also pronounced as 'shi'), thus a play on Shion's name akin to how Nabiki played with Kuno's name at the beginning of the Ranma series (Kuno wrote his name on the blackboard, and Nabiki did the same, only with a different character as an insult, and was changed in the Viz manga). Also, Shion's name is a play off 'shi-o,' honorable master (Kagami -> mirror, so he's the mirror master; a master of two worlds, one in reality and the other in reflection of reality). BWidow -> Nabiki Tendo; Warlock -> Shion Kagami; CSpider -> Kanna Rajura; Ferret -> Ayame Mishima; Ziel -> Ziel Kagura. 'Acid' is a tribute to Hackers; one of the main characters went by the handle, 'Acid Burn.' Some of the other screen names are in-tributes and it's likely most people won't get it anyway. -- Razorclaw X (spiceoflife@NYChotmail.com) http://www.crosswinds.net/~slythe/ranma/ranff.html