*This book may not be offered or issued for sale without the
permission of the author
***
Dedication
To Gordon L. Hill, Sr.
***
Vision
The
blind illusion of logic bent, Clarity strewn when reason went, Torqued and
bloodied thoughts adrift A truth-entangled genetic rift.
*
So, clear the head and fill the mind As past and
present are left behind, Blow the then and blast the now, History shorn in
a shattered vow.
*
Enter the beasts and demon spawn To manipulate the
naive pawn, Genetic mayhem and twisted schemes Cursed in parabnormal
dreams
*
Where prophecy rules the first is last Death reverts to
life aghast, Insanity reigns - there lies the fault, Only murd'rous mayhem
can force a halt.
*
by N. D.
Hansen-Hill
***
Prologue
The
day was split - overlain with the shuddery thunder of a heavy tread on
sedimentary soils. Soils that
were soft and non-impacted.
Soils that were still
new. He stood there, blind
and deaf to any world but this. His vision was trapped here, while his body
lingered in a world a hundred million years - maybe several hundred
million years - away. Past
experience had warned him not to move. In a place like this it could be deadly.
Because, over the aeons, so many of the land's physical features had changed.
What you see is not
always what you get... He
could only watch, paralysed by his vulnerability, as the monstrous shape came
toward him. His eyes fixed on the long, talon-like claws, the ripping teeth, the
daggerlike spine - almost like a scorpion's stinger - at the end of the tail.
The stinger was what caught and held his eye. He forced himself to focus on it,
as the creature did a series of bounding leaps in his
direction. It can't see
me, he thought, trying to bolster his confidence. But, it didn't do much to
help. Because there was a gleam in the predator's eye now, and Dustin could
swear it was aiming right for
him. The mud slapped with
each heavy step, and now, there was mud flicked in his eyes. Flicked in his eyes
and flecked on his face. Sweat on his skin and terror in his
heart. The mouth opened so
fast, he knew he'd never stand a chance. No hope to outrun it on terrain he
couldn't even see. Not
true. It's because you see too
much... It's not here!
You're not
here! But it didn't help.
He was in a world stinking of methane and sulphur, and rotting meat on
three-inch teeth. Where enormous lizards snapped jaws at man-sized
morsels. And it didn't do him
a damn bit of good to tell himself he wasn't
here. Because he'd never
tested it before. He'd learned not to move, because his own world could kill
him. But he'd never deliberately sought to place himself "somewhere
else". His existence had
never been at risk
before... I can't sit here
and be eaten... The
monster was confused by his stationary pose. It was accustomed to having its
prey flee, squealing. At the very least, it was expecting some evasive
manoeuvre: head bobbing, counterattack, dodges - something any prey with a gram
of intelligence would
do. And, suddenly, it was no
good. "I need out!" he hissed urgently.
"Josh!" It was the
panicky squawk the creature had been waiting for. The eyes widened, and in that
second, Dustin knew it was going to strike. The jaws snapped once, and he wasn't
imagining the saliva. As the head lunged forward in a snake-like strike, he dove
to one side. But the tail
moved even faster. This time,
when the man's mouth opened, it wasn't with shrieks of terror - it was with an
even shriller howl of pain.
***
Chapter
One
"Dusty!"
Someone was shaking him roughly.
Josh.
"Can you hear me?" "Yes, I
can hear you," Dustin replied mechanically. He waved a hand in front of his
face. "His breath was better -" He squinted his eyes open, peering at his
surroundings. Dried, reddish soil. Bright blue - not the sullen overcast of
dinoland. There was a note
of tension in Josh's voice. "Did you see
one?" Dustin wiped his face.
"Could be-e..." He dragged it out, but Josh's sigh made him snigger. Put him
out of his misery. "Nasty things, those Drepanosauruses -" He left it
hanging, and wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. Sweat, and something
else. A gritty something, that stunk of sour
soils. Josh's hand gripped
his shoulder so hard it hurt. "You saw one?!" He twisted him so Dustin
was forced to look at him. "Did it -" At this point Josh swallowed hard, his
voice barely above a whisper. "- did it have a
spine?" "Yeah -"
Dustin said, a little distractedly. He was thinking of the weight behind the
impact. The force of the blow that had left him
stunned. Or stung...
There was a tingle of pain in his leg - like the nerve-jabbing sting of a cold
sore. No way. That's
impossible, he thought, trying to calm the lurch of panic that sent his
heart racing again. I'm an observer. Only an observer. The pounding of his heart
was suddenly matched by a throbbing pulsebeat in his left leg. The throb gave
way to a searing, stabbing jab that shot down between his toes and back up to
just beneath his jaw. "Josh -" he gasped, his eyes widening. He gripped the
front of Josh's shirt with his fist. Dustin's face was white, his teeth
clenched. "Shit,
Dusty!" Josh said worriedly. Was he having a heart attack or something?!
"What's wrong?" Dustin
grimaced, but pushed himself up, so he could look at his left leg. See,
he told himself, an icy wash of relief running through him. All normal.
The relief lasted until the next agonising jolt of pain hit him.This
time, he felt it in his gut,
too. Can't be, he
thought, through chattering teeth. Only in your
imagination... He gripped
his thigh. He sensed Josh's panic, but he could hear his voice only dimly
through a fog. "M-Make it stop!" Dustin grunted, unaware that he was
saying it aloud. "Make
what stop?!" Josh almost yelled at him. "Tell me what's
wrong!" The back of
his pants leg was wet. Must be marsh mud, Dustin thought, confused. He
lifted his fingers to look. The tips were bright with
blood. "What the hell!" Josh
shrieked, hitting the panic button. He forced his voice down a notch. "W-What
have you done now?" He pushed Dusty over on his side - afraid of what he was
going to find. There was
blood soaking through Dustin's jeans. Blood leaching into the arid ground. A lot
of blood. But, it could have been worse - undoubtedly, would have been worse -
if there hadn't been a stopper in the hole.
It was so coated with blood,
that at first he couldn't figure out what it
was. "I-Is it bad?" Dustin
asked. "No," Josh lied. It
was a tooth - or, maybe, a spine.
Josh's mind rejected it.
It can't be... Reason told him he should leave it in, to help control the
bleeding. But something else - some other instinct - told him bleeding wasn't
the worst of Dusty's problems. Better to make it bleed... With a shaking
hand, he grabbed the back of the "tooth" and started to yank it back, out of the
hole. It didn't want to
come. It had gone all the way to the
bone. Josh gorge rose.
Maybe into the bone
- "Good," Dustin was
saying, and it took Josh a moment to realise he was responding to the "No". It
bothered him that Dusty couldn't feel what he was doing.
Dusty was still talking, but
he didn't sound right. "Josh," he muttered, "feeling a little
weird..." His voice trailed
off. His bloodied hand went limp. Josh swore he could feel it, when Dusty's head
flopped down, onto the soil.
*
"What do
you mean, you 'helped him set it up'?" Ren asked him angrily. "In other words,
you set him up! You know what he's
like!" "I know," Josh
admitted. "But when he heard what I was looking for - so I'd know whether to
push for funding..." His words tapered off, a little dismally. It sounded like
he was making excuses. "You're right, Ren. He knew it, I knew it." He shook his
head, his own eyes glassy. "I didn't know it could touch him like that! Hell, he
didn't know it himself!" "It
shouldn't have," she replied, staring out the window. "It never has before." She
turned, to meet Josh's eyes. "You know how I knew, don't
you?" "The telepathy
thing?" "Don't sound so
dismissive, Mr. Clairvoyant. Of course, it was the 'telepathy thing'." She
rubbed her left leg. "I even felt it when it jabbed him," she
whispered. "Don't tell him,"
Josh warned. She shook her
head. For one who was supposedly "sensitive", Josh could be so dense. "Of course
I won't," she said
impatiently. Josh grinned. "I
get it. Because of the affection
thing." She averted her eyes.
"Ridiculous," she
grumbled. "Hey - at least
you're finally admitting you can read minds," Josh told her
annoyingly. "Hardly. Merely
sympathy pains, brought on by
-" Josh smiled, and put an
arm around her. "- your sympathy for your subject."
She nodded and wiped her
eyes with the back of her
hand. "You know, some day
Dusty will get his mind out of the past, and back into the present where it
belongs." She couldn't
believe she was hearing this from him. Her expression said as
much. "Oh, I'm not saying he
shouldn't visit the past from time to time
-" She
snorted. "- but he doesn't
like it any more than you like 'picking up vibes'. Do you realise I'm the only
one of us with appreciation for my
'gift'?" "Since nobody else
appreciates you," she said with a slight smile, "I guess you have to start
somewhere." She added, "Did you forget Dainler? He 'appreciates' his gift, too -
that's why he has a limo." Ren sounded disgusted.
At the coffee machine, she
turned Josh's way expectantly.
"F7," he
supplied. There was a flicker
of annoyance in her eyes. He
grinned. "I had one earlier," he explained, with mock innocence. "Dainler and I
aren't in the same class. He stops 'em from being buried, and I dig 'em
up." She handed him his
coffee, then punched in her own. "You know," she whispered, with a shiver, and a
glance toward the ICU. "If he doesn't feel better soon, I might give Erik a
call." "Dusty won't like
it." She looked over at him,
her own eyes moist. "Better than having to communicate through Merrie. Besides,
" she added, "if I don't, you can bet Valterzar will."
*
"Hey,
Dusty." Ren put a cool hand on his hot forehead, jerked it back, then, with
trembling fingers, put it back again. So hot. So weak. When she touched
him, she could feel the burning in his veins.
Oh, crap. It was the
signal. She'd halfway hoped it wouldn't be there, because it scared her witless.
It had only happened once before. With her sister. Maggie had fallen from a tree
and was bleeding when Ren had found her. She'd touched her and held her and
cried her eyes out, while Maggie had screamed the whole time to go get Mom. In
the end, it had been Maggie who'd had to run for Mom, and Ren who'd had the
broken arm. Ren had never
spoken of it to anybody, but something had changed that day, between her and her
sister. Maggie was two years older, and wary of a sister who could finish her
sentences. As she grew up, and began to develop that secret life that all teens
have, she'd grown as far away as she could from Ren. And, ever since that day in
the orchard, there'd been a wariness between
them. Dustin's eyes opened,
and he looked at her. "Knew it was you," he murmured. "Must be
psychic." Ren brushed a kiss
across his lips, then took his other hand in hers.
He sighed, and she knew he
was glad to have her
there. If he hadn't been so
dazed, he might have realised what she was doing. Realised how much she might be
risking. Might even have realised why she was willing to risk it.
It was a risk, too.
Josh would be furious, and feel more guilty than he did already; Dainler would
feel violated, as though she'd intruded on his turf; Valterzar would smile and
be pleased that he could add one more note to her file. And Dusty? Would he
carry the same wary flicker in his eyes that Maggie had? Because she'd intruded
far beyond his stray thoughts, and into his blood and
bone? "Kitten?" he murmured,
a trace of alarm in his voice this
time. "It's okay, Dusty," she
whispered, trying to hide the huskiness in her voice. The quaver that might give
away her fear. Because this was Dainler's gift, not hers. She'd always been
afraid to use it. At heart, Erik Dainler was about as sensitive as stone. He
could shunt away all the disease and injury because he never let it touch him.
He never got involved with his clients; never took on their pain or their aches
or their angst. She'd asked him about it once, wanting to know how he could heal
without identifying with his clients' pain. Erik hadn't always been this cold or
distant, so he'd somehow developed this shell; this insouciance. She'd wanted to
know how - needed to know how - because it was a way of protecting herself, in
case anyone got too
close. Like
now. A flicker of
awareness told her Valterzar was getting impatient with the delays. They were
only allowing them in one at a time, and he wanted to "assess" the situation
himself. It was more than that, though. Josh was going nuts out in the waiting
room, which made Valterzar irritable. Josh was blaming himself for this, but he
couldn't produce the spine the doctors had asked for. Because they would never
understand how a spine, that should have been buried for a hundred million years
- that should have become stone long since - could carry fresh toxin. How it
could contain living cells. And antagonistic proteins.
Shit! Kithren
didn't wait any longer. Dustin was unconscious again, and his skin looked waxy.
His breath came in uneven
shudders. "Love you," she
whispered, close against his ear - relieved that he'd never know how she
felt. A thing can be
over-analysed. She ought to know. Science was her
business. Ren closed her
eyes, tightened her grip on his hand, and let his feelings come.
*
The scream
of the monitor brought Josh to his feet. "Oh, shit!" he gasped, wiping
his eyes roughly with his hand. He and Valterzar raced down the hall. They ran
into the IC unit just in time to hear the nurse shout angrily, "What the hell
are you doing?!" It did,
indeed, look like mayhem. Ren was leaning against the bed, one hand tangled in
the cords, wires, and tubing running from Dustin's body. She'd triggered the
alarm, and in that moment, Josh knew she wasn't even aware of doing it.
Awkwardly - too sensitive in her current state to tune out the nurse's
frustration - her hand fluttered to free itself of the
paraphernalia. "Ren!"
Josh yelled. He sensed she was wide open, like a raw wound. Defenceless.
It didn't take much to figure out what she'd done for Dusty. Josh remembered
kidding her about being "too sensitive for her own good". His words came back to
haunt him now, as she turned to look at him. The pain in her eyes made him suck
in a quick breath. Ren,
though, suddenly wasn't breathing at all. She gasped, and there was only a
quick, occluded whine. Her hand went to her throat, and she stumbled away from
the bed. Even now, she didn't want Dustin to see...didn't want him to
know... Fuck it, Ren!
Why? Josh reached for
her, but Valterzar was quicker. He caught her as her knees folded and stretched
her out on the ground. He checked her airway then bellowed, "Get me a trach
kit!" to the nurse. "STAT!" Then he tossed Josh his phone. His teeth
were almost gritted as he ordered, "Punch four. Tell Dainler that if he doesn't
get here soon, the first person he'll have to heal will be himself."
*
Lawrence Valterzar had
regained some of his cool. He was personally monitoring Ren's functions, and he
turned now to look coldly at Dainler. "Why not?" His voice was
chilling. "Because it's Ren,"
Erik said, and Valterzar guessed that for once he was being honest. Dainler was
afraid to heal her because he didn't think he could keep his
distance. "Because she's a
sensitive?" Did he think she might give it all to
him? Dainler cleared his
throat. He shook his head.
Valterzar saw his expression
and nodded. "I understand." The man had feelings for her. He didn't think he
could distance himself because some part of him didn't want to. He looked at
Dainler. "You know she did this for
Mallory?" "Then maybe you
should get Mallory in here, so I can get started," Dainler said
brusquely. For the first time
since Erik Dainler had arrived, Lawrence smiled at him. An unselfish
gesture. "Well-played," he replied, knowing that Erik would understand
him. Erik kissed Ren's hand,
then smiled back. "Just think of all the points it'll make me," he said.
*
Lawrence
Valterzar had never wanted to work with this group. He'd trained in medicine,
and gone on to specialise in psychiatry and organic brain dysfunction. And then,
one day, he'd been called in on a consultation. A James Wickham had been
admitted with severe bruising and lacerations. He claimed he'd been "stoned",
but in the Biblical, rather than the modern, sense. Lawrence had thought it owed
more to the latter, but he'd refrained from saying
so. He'd been in James' room
when the tapping on the window began. The almost frenetic beat of tiny pebbles
had given way to a glass-spidering assault by rocks and concrete. Then, the
first of the invaders had beat down the barriers.
The rocks came on. Lawrence
rang for help, yelled out the door, and danced around the room, trying to get
clear. He flung the covers over James' face, but he couldn't forget the terror
in the man's eyes. It was a rather graphic reminder of why he'd bothered to get
into this gig in the first place. James Wickham needed help - and here was
Lawrence Valterzar cowering behind a
chair. It made him mad -
mostly at himself, but furious nevertheless. He saw himself as a coward and a
sham - running when someone needed him most. He stood up, and faced the barrage
head on. The first concrete block grazed his cheek, and a heavy rock pounded his
shoulder. If anything, his anger escalated. James, meanwhile, was screaming
almost hysterically under the covers - undoubtedly wondering why Fate had tossed
this particular curse his
way. Lawrence Valterzar
couldn't recall when he'd been so angry, and the fire burning in his gut upped
another notch. Whereas fifteen minutes ago he would have hesitated to do
anything that might affect his prestige or community standing - that might make
others "wonder" - at the moment he didn't care. As a seeming boulder headed
directly for his face, something lodged in his gut.
He knew with certainty he
could end this. He opened his mouth and roared, "Stop this!" The boulder
stopped mid-flight, shuddered slightly as though fighting his orders, then
dropped, motionless, onto the floor.
All around him it was like
rocken rain, rather than the pelting assault that had been taking place before.
All the pebbles, stones, chips of concrete, and restless gravel dropped in a
pinging resonance to the floor. Some bounced, landed and rolled, but none of
them responded to anything but
gravity. "Easiest cure I ever
effected," Lawrence had
muttered. At the sudden
silence, James had pushed the sheet off his face and looked a little warily
around the room. "Was that
the first time?" Lawrence asked
him. "You mean was I a
'virgin' rock target?" James asked. There was a glimmer of amusement in his
eyes. It told Lawrence more
than James realised. That he could be amused by this meant he was, in some
regard, accustomed to it.
His panic, of a few moments
before, suggested he'd sensed an "episode" coming on.
If there was ever a case
study for organic causes of brain dysfunction, it was this one. Though whether
an ability to catalyse kinetic outbursts could be considered a dysfunction, was
open to question; in Lawrence's book, it was certainly an aberration. He had a
sudden stirring of interest, not the least of which was motivated by his own
response to the rock toss. Why had he been so certain he could end it? Where had
that conviction come from? It was hard to discount that particular feeling of
burning energy that had lodged somewhere in his
gut. Whatever else, it was
certain the rock assault had ended at his words. Was that because James' brain
had suddenly picked up the message, and certain activators had been turned off?
If James was able to turn this off, wouldn't a sense of self-preservation have
triggered the impulse long before this? At a time when he was being personally
pelted, and there was no one around to help
him? Lawrence had found the
thought that some part of his own brain had acted physically upon the rock storm
quite alarming. In all the self-analysis he'd done during his training and
afterwards, he'd never uncovered a potential for psychokinesis - or
anti-psychokinesis, as the case may be. If he had, he would have found a way to
discount it, ignore it, or attempt to rid himself of it.
But now he was trapped. He
had to know why. Still, he
hadn't been the one to initiate or enlist the other members of this particular
"Cluster". All it had taken was his proximity to James that day, his success in
stopping the rockstorm, and some research that was the preliminary to a study he
was going to effect on anomalous condition. It had dangled a carrot, and someone
had snatched at it. And,
just like a carrot, someone had snatched away his roots, and transplanted him
elsewhere. He couldn't exactly say his reputation had "gone to seed", because
there's a certain credibility in working for the government - but his security
was shot to hell. As much as
he'd wanted to explore the human brain before, now he realised there are a lot
of things you're better off not knowing...
*
"Ren's
down for the count. Anyone tell
you?" Of course, they hadn't.
Valterzar had left it to him, the weasel. Josh supposed in its own way, it was a
kindness, so that Dustin wouldn't have to hear the "why" from anyone
else. Dustin grabbed Josh's
arm. "Where is she? What's wrong with her?" Josh noted the panic and hid
his smile. Good. About time Dusty let her know how he felt.
Ren had never admitted it,
either - until today. Today, she might as well have danced on the table for the
subtlety of her gesture. She'd done something that went against her principles -
for Dustin. She'd put herself at risk, and opened herself in a way that had left
her vulnerable. She must have suspected she wouldn't be able to walk away from
this one - that she'd have to endure either Valterzar's wrath or his helpful
hands - and to someone with her streak of independence, that must have been a
difficult surrender. Businesslike relationship replaced by an embarrassing
intimacy, if Valterzar insisted on acting like a
doctor. Plus, she'd put
Dustin in an impossible position, which must have made her own nearly untenable.
He was being given a choice to be excessively grateful, which she would have
found abhorrent; to be furious at what he would consider near-suicide; or to be
forced into admitting some kind of emotional attachment for her before he was
ready. Josh didn't have to
be very sensitive to guess that the last person Kithren Magnus would want to see
on wakening was Dustin Mallory.
Josh hauled Dustin out of
bed and into a wheelchair. He felt another twinge of guilt as Dustin flinched.
Ren might have the venom, but Dustin still had the hole in his leg that went
with it. Josh covered his
dismay with a griping, "Hurry up,
Dusty!" Dustin nodded.
"Ready!" The last one she'd
want to see, but the one she needed most.
*
"It's
Lawrence Valterzar's
group." Charles Smythe
smiled. "'Rockhead
Valterzar'?" Marc Jekkes
nodded. "The only Valterzar I'm unlucky enough to
know." "Tell me again who's
in the Cluster." Jekkes
looked at the chart. "Dustin Mallory, Kithren Magnus, Joshua Wingot, James
Wickham, Erik Dainler -" "-
the prima donna," Smythe
interrupted. Jekkes grinned.
"- and Meredith Feiderman. In order: retrocognition, telepathy, clairvoyance,
PK, bioPK,
mediumship." "What?" Smythe
asked sarcastically. "No astral flyers? How could we have been so remiss?" He
shook his head, and asked, in the same incredulous tone, "How did I ever get
this job?" He nodded toward the chart. "Isn't Magnus a plant
scientist?" "Yep. PhD plant
pathology. Works at the University on pathogenic
fungi." "Good. We'll need
her. Mallory's in graphics, and Wingot's a paleo
man?" "Feiderman's the only
one in the group without a PhD - and she has two Masters' degrees, in philosophy
and Eastern religions. She writes award-winning children's
books." "Bright group. What's
Wickham's specialty? Besides rockstorms, that
is." Jekkes looked at the
text and chuckled.
"Geology." "Oh, Christ!"
Smythe grinned. "We've been trying to figure out how Mallory gave the
Drepanosaurus such physicality. He's been doing a 3D image for Wingot, by
the way. Have you seen it? It's unbelievable. Amazing the parallels, here.
Mallory spends most of his work hours creating 3D work that strives to emulate
'reality'. Then, in his personal '3D world', he is merely observing, and it
somehow becomes his reality. I would have thought PK on the injury if Wingot
hadn't saved the spine." "Any
theories on the 'physicality' so
far?" "Only one with any
credibility. We think during the episode, he and Wingot were touching. Shoes, a
hand on the shoulder - something like that. Wingot wanted this so badly he could
taste it. It's possible they only came in contact when Mallory flung himself to
one side - at the moment of impact. Between Josh Wingot's clairvoyance, and
Dustin Mallory's retro ability, they were able to extend the
boundaries." "So, what
happens now?" "None of the
players realise how much we know - including Valterzar. His people wouldn't
believe how zealously he guards their privacy - with one
exception." "The prima
donna?" Smythe grinned.
"Yeah. In Dainler's words: 'too much privacy, and I wouldn't be riding in a
limo.' We're thinking of teaming some of them up, and creating situations that
might stimulate a repeat performance of Mallory's and Wingot's fiasco. Besides,
Mallory's been getting a little dissatisfied. It might be a good time to give
him something to think
about." "Isn't that a little
hazardous?" "We're paid to
extend the boundaries, then find a use for it, Marcus. We could use some fresh
alternatives to conventional military action right now. Something beyond the
piddling clairvoyant surveillance or PK number crunching." He read Jekkes' next
question in his eyes. "It doesn't matter whether they approve or not. None of
them would be alive right now without our intervention. They would have become
stats on the infant mortality rolls. Just a few more unexplained crib
deaths." "But wasn't it
covert activity that initially put them at
risk?" Smythe shrugged. He
told Jekkes, a little irritably, "And we could argue aboriginal rights,
interment camps, and black suppression, too. Ancient history. The point is, an
effort was made to rectify the situation. It was Symbio - and by extension, the
'government' - who supplied the 'therapy' that kept them from becoming victims.
We've also supplied money for their education, run counter to any obstacles
their 'conditions' might have created, and covered for them when 'accidents'
have put them at risk, like Ren Magnus' overblown response at the hospital
today." Jekkes commented,
"So, their lives would have been hell without us, whether they know it or not."
Smythe hesitated, then said
bluntly, "And so, Marcus, whether they like it or not - they're
ours."
*
Dustin
lurched out of the chair before Josh had even brought it to a stop. It was the
sight of her, his Kitten, lying there so still that shook him. He looked up,
quickly checking the room. He caught Erik Dainler's eye with a look of relief.
"Thank God," he
whispered. "Nice to finally
get the respect I deserve," Erik
remarked. But Dustin wasn't
listening. Valterzar felt almost embarrassed watching this. Mallory was nearly
as exposed as Kithren Magnus had
been. Or was he? Again, it
made Lawrence Valterzar wonder. Was he seeing more than someone else would?
Because he knew them - or because his instincts were more refined than most?
He'd been wondering it for a while now. The way he'd been hired, and some of the
probable reasons behind it. The way he'd been a damned good psychiatrist -
because he could frequently guess what his patients were thinking; anticipate
their needs. Had Dustin and Ren really shared their feelings so openly, or was
that just the way he was seeing
it? Dustin brushed his lips
across her forehead, but there was no response. "Is the respirator -?"
Valterzar nodded. "Keeping
her alive," he said quietly. "We have to do this now, Dustin." He smiled at him.
"Give her a kiss for luck, and let's
go." Dustin bent and kissed
her on the lips, then nearly toppled over on his bad leg. Erik caught him, and
perched him on the edge of the bed. "One patient at a time," he pleaded,
grinning. "Please." "Will it
interfere?" "Probably," Erik
said reluctantly, taking another glance at Ren. "But sit back against the
pillows and hold her
anyway." Dustin wrapped his
arms around her and brushed his lips against her hair. "Ready," he said. "Let's
do it." Erik nodded. He
closed his eyes, rested his hands on Kithren's middle, and let himself go.
***
Chapter
Two
There's no
way I'm ever going to do it again. Not a
chance. No more retro
visits. A normal
life. "No way in hell," he
told Lolita. She fluffed her feathers at him and came in for a scritch, her big
hooked beak dangerously close to his ear. She was really annoyed by his uneven
gait these days. "Don't give
me attitude," he told her. He balanced on his good leg and rubbed with a couple
of fingers behind her yellow crest. "If you didn't weigh so much, we could both
manoeuvre better. Good boy," he muttered, but his mind was elsewhere. They'd
stitched him up, given him antibiotics, and let him go home on the second
day. Erik had claimed he was
too spent after Ren's healing to do any more, but Dustin knew him better than
that. He was pissed off, and Dustin figured it had something to do with Ren, and
the way she'd nearly killed herself trying to help
him. As though I had any
say in it. Dustin frowned a little as he considered what she'd risked. He
didn't blame Erik for being angry. He was angry, too, but he didn't have anyone
to direct it toward, except
himself. She'd risked a lot.
It had been a long time coming. He'd never wanted to make the first move. He'd
decided a long time ago he didn't have anything to offer her. His life could be
hell at times, when he stepped into a backwards world. He couldn't move,
couldn't see what was happening in his own time. Instant fool - out of sync. One
unwary step and he'd appear more of an oaf than he already did. Tumbling down
stairs as he was dodging to avoid a wayward
cart. Which was foolish in
itself. Until three days ago, the past had never reached out to bite him. He had
to admit the physicality of that last event had scared him
shitless. When he felt
better, he might talk it out with Josh. Lawrence would want him to talk it out
with him, but Dusty baulked at that. Valterzar was a psychiatrist. He'd listen,
say little, and shove it into a report.
Dustin didn't want it. He'd
never asked for psychiatric help - or any other kind of help. He hadn't even
realised till a few years ago how strange that was. There'd always been someone
there - someone who came in, and yanked him out of the middle of a busy street
when he froze halfway across, lost in Never Never Land. Someone who explained
away the incidents, or rang him up to see how he was doing during those times
despair had rendered him nearly housebound.
But, normal people didn't
have "helpers", or "managers" who came out of nowhere. It was funny how he
hadn't known. How the people he hung out with most were those like himself. Ren,
Josh, Erik, James and Merrie had been his friends for years - since they were
kids. He gravitated toward them, because they, like he, were hiding. Trying to
function in a normal world while hiding the phenomena that sprang at them out of
the woodwork. Only Erik had decided to come out of the black hole. He'd gone
public, and it had been shortly after that that Valterzar had shown up on the
scene. That was six years ago now.
Now, Dustin worked a job
that was "safe". Stationary. Just him and his computer, some workmates, and an
office that didn't go spinning off into the Middle Ages or Jurassic Park if he
took a wrong step. And, recently, he'd begun to hope again. Maybe Ren. Just
maybe. Ren and me. He
grinned. She'd been dropping by every day, with little gifts for him that were
somehow just perfect. Drawing pencils, special watercolour paper for his
printer. She was the most beautiful - and certainly the most special - aspect of
his life. The next instant he
was worrying that she had another motive entirely. She was one of his closest
friends, and naturally, she was concerned about his health. So concerned that
she'd taken some of it off him.
He was glad she came. He was
as worried about her as she seemed to be about him. Whatever Erik had done,
though, had enacted a cure. She looked
great. He sighed. Boy, did
she look great... But, he
had to admit that he still didn't feel right. He'd phoned the doctor because he
had a fever, and they'd reminded him he was on antibiotics, and told him to call
them if he was still hot tomorrow.
He knew what Valterzar
would say. "Just give me a call and I'll drop by." That, however, was not
what Dustin Mallory wanted. He didn't want his keeper fetched, or his life
arranged around him. He wanted to go through channels, just like anybody else.
"If you're sick, Lolita,
call the doctor," he muttered. Damn if he didn't feel crappy. He couldn't eat,
and he hadn't slept since he'd woken up in the hospital ward. He knew he was
almost at the point where any doctor would do - even Valterzar - but he was too
damn stubborn to give in. "Call your own doctor. Not some trumped-up, glorified,
psychologically-perverse quack." He rubbed Lolita under her wing. "Good
boy." "Harsh words. By the
way, she's a girl," a voice reminded
him. "Nice of you to knock,"
Dustin said
sarcastically. "And make you
jump off your deathbed? No way." Josh grinned. "You can treat me like royalty
next time." He nodded toward the injured limb. "How's the
leg?" "Know you'll find this
a little 'hard to swallow'," Dustin retorted, "but it almost feels like I got
bit by a dinosaur." "Shit,
you're a lucky bastard." Josh sighed. "Even if it was just a sting." The way he
said it made it sound like a negligible bee had somehow found its way up his
pant leg. The weird thing was
he meant the "lucky bastard" part. "Excuse me if I pound your face in," Dustin
told him. He reached out a fist, lost his balance, and nearly toppled onto his
face. Josh caught him and steadied him. "What happened to the stinger, anyway? I
might want to put it in my trophy
case." A little sheepishly,
Josh pulled a drawstring bag out from inside his
shirt. Dustin snorted.
"You're kidding!" He shook his head. "I don't believe you! Shouldn't it be in a
lab or something?" He hooted. "What is this? A totem against evil
spirits?" Josh ignored him.
He undid the string and reverently drew the spine halfway out of the bag. "See?"
he said, in a hushed whisper, his voice awed. It also held a trace of envy as he
added, "Do you know how lucky you are? I'll need a detailed account of
everything you saw -" Dustin
rapped him with a crutch. "Lucky, am I? (rap) If I'd come back limbless (rap),
you could have written a (swing - miss) fuckin' paper (hop - rap) on it!" He
shook his head at the gleam of acknowledgment in Josh's eye. "You are
going to write a paper!" He raised his voice, some of his own amusement gone.
"Are you out of your mind?! They'll crucify
me!" "I'll keep your name
out of it..." "Until the
paparazzi, or whatever they are, get their hands on it! How many people in the
hospital records have had a dinosaur tooth -" At the look on Josh's face, Dustin
added a derisive "- or whatever - pulled out of their
hides?" "They don't know!"
Josh explained. "I told them it was a pointy rock." He watched Dustin's agitated
pacing. It would have been pacing, anyway, if Dusty could synchronise his crutch
and leg actions. After observing him for a while in silence, he asked, "How're
you feeling?" "Great," Dustin
growled at him. "They'll crucify
me!" "You said that." Josh
went over and coaxed Lolita off Dusty's shoulder and onto his own arm. "Good
girl, Lolita." Dustin wasn't looking too good. In fact, he looked damn sick.
Josh realised he'd been so wrapped up in the thrill of discovery, that he hadn't
been all that observant. "Want a drink of water?" he asked now, as he urged the
cockatoo back onto her
perch. Dustin nodded
gratefully. "Thanks." Josh
was gone for nearly a minute. When he came back, he had a glass of water, and a
couple of pill bottles. "Let's see: anti-inflammatories, antibiotics,
painkillers. What do you
need?" "A good night's sleep
and some peace and quiet," Dustin replied. He wobbled slightly.
Josh took one of the
crutches and helped him over to the couch. "You're pretty hot," he remarked. He
smiled slightly, anticipating Dustin's retort. It didn't come.
Instead, Dusty only shivered
and muttered, "I don't feel
'hot'." "You don't look so
hot, either," Josh replied. Dusty's face was flushed, and his eyes slightly
glazed. The phone rang.
"Could you get that?" Dustin asked. The phone seemed a long way across the
room. Josh was carrying on
quite a conversation, but Dustin tuned it out. He was staring, rather blankly,
at the wall. It took him a while to realise he wasn't thinking about
anything. Correction. He was
thinking about how much his leg hurt, and how much he wasn't going to think
about it. "Let's go," Josh
said curtly. He helped Dustin to his feet and pulled an arm over his shoulder.
"What's up?" Dustin asked,
confused. "You are. All the
way out to the car," he muttered, half-carrying him down the hall. "They
cultured the bacteria in your leg
-" "From the spine," Dustin
said confusedly. "Yeah," Josh
said worriedly. "They've never seen it before. They're going to hit you with
some other antibiotics." "Who
was on the phone?" Dustin
asked. "Valterzar. He wanted
to come by and pick you up, but I told him I'd handle
it." Dustin took it about the
way Josh had figured he would. He pulled away and leaned back against the wall.
"No. He's not my doctor. I've talked to my doctor," he said quietly, "and
he suggested I come by
tomorrow." "This isn't
something to play with, Dusty."
"He's management. I don't
need a manager." Dustin hobbled back down the hall. The heat in his body
inflamed his temper. "It's a free country!" he yelled at Josh. "Who do
they think they are? Why would they tell 'Valterzar' first, before they'd
tell me?!" Josh followed him
down the hall. At Dusty's words, though, he stopped. "I don't know," he
admitted. "The 'Bail-Out Squad'. Because we're not normal
-" "But don't you see
it?" Dustin roared. Today, because of Ren, because of the dreams he'd dared
to hope for, it was more important than ever. "We'll never get a shot at it,
Josh! Not if we don't make a stand
now!" "But it'd make a hell
of a lot more sense to make a 'stand' when you can stand up!" Josh bellowed
back. He lowered his voice slightly. "I'll call Erik
-" "Fuck Erik!" Dustin
yelled. "He's an easy out. Always the easy out! We never take responsibility for
the havoc. Fuck it all!" At the expression on Josh's face, he slammed a
fist into the wall. "I don't need a manager," he repeated, but most of
his anger was gone now, lost in something resembling despair. "I just want to
live, Josh," he whispered. "Really
live." "I'll take you to
another hospital. No Valterzar. No connection - to anything. They can call for
the results. Just come with me, Dusty." He put a hand on his shoulder. "Come
with me," he urged. Dustin
stared at him for a moment. His eyes looked so glassy with fever that Josh
wondered how he was seeing.
"It's a friend thing," Josh
assured him. "No easy out. Friends help each other."
Dusty nodded slowly, and let
Josh take his arm. "Just do me a favour," he said, with a trace of a
smile. "What?" Josh tugged
Dusty's arm over his shoulder. Dusty sagged against him and Josh boosted him up.
Dusty turned his head and
grimaced at Josh. "No dinosaurs," he
begged. Josh grinned back.
"Wouldn't think of it," he said.
*
"I can't
go now." She realised, as
soon as she'd said it, that she'd been too blunt. Now they'd want an
explanation. She wasn't stupid or naive enough to think they hadn't already
checked her current work projects, to see whether she could be spared without
jeopardising her employment. They were always very careful about that. If there
wasn't a good enough explanation, and if she persisted in her refusal, then
they'd find a way to "convince"
her. She wondered whether the
others received calls like this. Urgent requests for help couched in a neediness
she couldn't refuse. They knew how sensitive she was; how a negative answer
would haunt her later. It was only lately that she'd also begun to wonder
whether that negative feedback was also predetermined and set up - against the
unlikely contingency of a refusal. Feedback modelled and analysed to offer
maximum regret, so refusals wouldn't become the
norm. The last time, refusal
had been succeeded by immediate fill-in duty at an Australasian plant pathology
conference. Since she'd been planning to attend anyway, there was no excuse she
could use not to lecture. After all, Fusarium was the subject of her
research, and she was considered an expert in her field.
As a student, she'd managed
many of the lectures the same way a lot of the other students did: by tape
recorder. There were some classes she couldn't miss, of course, but she'd always
had a very small exam room to test in. It wasn't until later that she wondered
why and how she'd been singled out for exam privileges. With the egocentricity
of the young, she'd come to the conclusion it must owe, at least in part, to her
superior grades. After a while, she'd taken it in her stride and not bothered to
ask why. The alternative was too uncomfortable in many instances for her to
tolerate; the interference, with everyone in the lecture theatre so tense and
agitated, nearly unbearable. It destroyed her own focus, so she couldn't
concentrate. Wrong answers, and right answers, anger and angst were being flung
at her from all directions. She'd nearly flunked out her first
quarter. But then, it had all
changed. She'd learned to substitute the tape recorder for her presence, and
transcribe the lectures in peace, and exams had somehow been arranged to
minimise her problems. She'd been so grateful that she hadn't allowed herself to
consider too deeply the whos and whys - then. She'd graduated magna cum laude,
and gone on to do a
doctorate. Conferences were
considered an important part of professional development, and she'd figured out
a way to manage those, too. Generally, with the focus on the lecturers, the
situation differed from those university classes where attention was frequently
scattered. A third of the crowd at a conference might be students, but at that
point, they were out to impress potential employers. It made a lecture scene
nearly bearable for her. That, and the fact that what she couldn't bear she
could recoup from abstracts and transcripts of the talks. Acceptable, and
definitely more
tolerable. Except when she
was the lecturer. She had a feeling they'd set her up for it as surely as they'd
set her up for singular exams. With the intense focus centred on her, her mind
was no longer her own. She'd prepped for her talk, of course, but she could
never have prepared for those moments behind the podium. Never have known how
scattered her concentration could become, or how desperate she'd feel as her own
thoughts were displaced by those of a hundred others. How the tension of a
speech-giver could give way to panic as she spoke words that weren't her own,
but fragments of others' thoughts. Or how much angst she'd feel as her hard-won
professionalism was ripped apart in front of her peers, and her reputation
ridiculed by the unheard laughter of the students. In the end, her focus had
given way completely, and she'd gone into deep shock, and collapsed on-stage, in
front of everyone. They'd carted her away by ambulance, made some excuse about
delirium brought on by a recurrence of malaria, and flown her
home. Covered her ass, her
reputation. Saved her. Bailed her
out. But the lesson had been
learned. Thwart the "system", and you were in for it. They might cover for you
afterwards, but you'd have to pay first.
It had been the single worst
moment of her life. Until
recently - when she'd seen Dustin in that bed. She'd realised then that she
valued his life more than her own. It was why she didn't want to leave now, when
he was so sick. It wasn't
hard to guess it was also the reason why they were so insistent that she go.
*
Dustin
never remembered the drive to the hospital. All he was aware of was the
endlessness of it. He was so hot he would cheerfully have shed his skin, if
someone had asked. And then he thought someone had, and he remembered arguing -
telling them to leave his skin alone - but they poked and prodded him
anyway. When he woke up, the
room was dark. Then, his vision cleared, and he noticed the nightlight, above
his bed. The agitated beeping of the monitor assured him he was still alive. The
way his body felt assured him that Josh had respected his wishes. No
insta-cures. Dustin felt a brief surge of pride, and gave a wide smile. I can
do this, he thought.
"Never figured you for the
gutsy type," came a cool voice from his
right. Erik. Dustin's nigglings of pride
burnt out in a surge of anger. He didn't know who to be angrier with: Josh or
Erik. Dusty turned to look at
him - his mouth opened to comment. He snapped it shut when he saw him. Erik
looked exhausted. There were circles under his eyes, he needed a shave, and his
clothes were wrinkled. "How long have you been here?" Dusty
asked. "Three days, five
hours, and -" Erik looked at his watch, "- eighteen minutes. Josh said you
didn't want to go for the cure, but
-" "But
what?" Erik shot him an
embarrassed grin. "People don't always know what's best for them." He shrugged.
"I was scared to leave," he admitted baldly. He came over to the bed and rested
his hand on Dustin's arm. "You gonna live
now?" Dustin didn't know what
to say. This was the old Erik - the one he used to know, before he got rich and
famous. Dustin could only nod, and
grin. It was enough for Erik.
"Good," he said, giving his arm a quick squeeze. "Cause I'm leaving now." His
eyes were moist as he turned back, at the door. "Welcome back, my Friend."
*
"But we
want to know why -" Valterzar
stood up abruptly. Fatigue was making his temper short. Not only was Dustin his
responsibility, he was a friend - even if the man didn't know it. "It's
covered," he snapped, knowing that he sounded far from the psychiatric
professional they'd hired him as. "If he wants to go it alone, it's his business
-" "We have a certain
investment in his
welfa-" "His right,"
Valterzar practically growled at him. "He's not under arrest, is he?" His eyes
narrowed. "I didn't think so. That means he still retains the rights of a
self-governing, self-determining individual. I respect his decision." He headed
for the door. "Enough
said." "You can be replaced,"
Smythe warned
him. "Probably," Valterzar
told him, shrugging. He stood there for a moment, thought it over, then said,
"Try telling someone who gives a
damn." Without another word,
he turned and walked out of the room.
***
Chapter
Three
"Don't look
so distracted," Josh told her. He grinned as he added in an exaggerated whisper,
"People will begin to think you're strange." They were walking down a
muddy street, lined with narrow, tin-roofed houses. Ren was reading as they
went, but Josh was doing an on-going battle with a persistent pig. It was a
young boar that had broken out of somebody's pen and it kept coming around, to
sniff his boots. Ren thought it was hilarious. Josh thought it was a pain in the
ass. "They'll be too busy
looking at you and the pig to notice." She continued searching through a report
on gene therapy. Josh was
bored. He discreetly kicked the pig out of the way for the fourth time. It gave
an irritated squeal and turned on
him. Thank God for
steel-toed boots. "You could've helped me," Josh complained.
"I don't want to smell like
pig." "What's so interesting,
anyway? Not that I really
care." "Triggers." She
glanced at him, uncertain whether to tell him what she'd been thinking. "Have
they ever sent you out with anyone
before?" "No. What're you
thinking? That I'm the 'trigger' for what happened to Dusty?" It was what he'd
been worried about himself.
"Or vice
versa." "One drawback - we've
spent time together before. Most of our lives, in fact. Never had any results
like that." "I know. That's
what's bothering me." She lowered her voice. "This is about genetic triggers.
Maybe we have built-in timers, set to go off." She looked embarrassed. "I know
it sounds stupid, but I wonder. Two years ago, and that thing with Erik. You and
Dusty." She hesitated, then closed her eyes. Josh guessed she was checking their
surroundings for negative feedback, to see whether anyone was monitoring them.
"I just don't want to stir up anything, or give them any
ideas." Josh's jaw was set.
"They shouldn't have trained us as scientists if they didn't want us to do some
self-analysis. Do you really think we might have built-in detonators?" With Ren,
you had to take these things seriously. You never knew whether it was something
she'd come up with on her own, or that she'd "picked up" from someone else at
Symtech. "All I'm saying is
that we should watch out." She put the paper back in her bag. "Dusty's right.
I'm sick of being a victim. It makes me feel so - so
-" "Wimpy?" Josh
asked. She grinned. "Yeah.
The 'predictable' doesn't help,
either." "I think, for the
moment, I'll put your little trigger idea out of my head." Josh looked at her in
disgust. "Or - I would - if certain people hadn't made such a big deal about
it." She was still smiling.
"Well, you did
ask." "'You asked for it',"
he mimicked. He complained, "Now, all I can see is your damned paper in the
background." "I put it away,"
she told him. "Big deal.
With me, it doesn't matter. My brain's focussed on
it." "Better than focussing
it on that pig's backside," she told him.
He grimaced. "Stop that!" he
hissed. "You're driving me nuts."
She grinned. "Here's another
one for you: did you ever think maybe the reason we're so predictable, is that
they have someone precognitive on their team?"
"I hope Dusty never marries
you," Josh told her irritably, but there was a flicker of amusement in his eyes.
"You'd drive him crazy, inside of a week."
*
She was,
indeed, the merriest person he knew. Meredith Feiderman was as intense a
personality as any of the others - and just as much in denial, Lawrence
Valterzar thought. In her, though, it took the form of a zestful appreciation
for life. Lawrence walked up
to her door, grinning as he noticed the new paint. The colours had changed yet
again. This time, the panels were bright yellow, with a lavender frame.
Cheerful. Alive. Enough to ward away the most fearful of spirits.
He wondered if it was enough
to bring her peace. Merrie was a frenetic goer and doer. In the six years he'd
known her, Lawrence had been constantly on the watch for burnout. He knew what
drove her, but couldn't help but admire the ways she'd found to manage it. Her
house was nearly always filled with people. That was the other thing about
Merrie - her dread of being alone.
She'd explained it to him
once. "It's not loneliness," she'd sighed, after a particularly frenzied round
of people, painting, and partying. "As long as there're people present, I don't
have to worry about their state." At his blank look, she'd added kindly, "About
whether they're alive - or dead." She'd grinned a little flippantly then.
"They're just people." It
sounded like a sensible approach. Sometimes her flippant remarks seemed to be
the only sensible thing about her. As long as she kept moving, and didn't linger
too long on anything, she didn't have to think. She fed herself and her constant
guests with a seemingly endless quotient of children's stories, which she
illustrated herself - all in the bright colours she so favoured in her
surroundings. Merrie had a brilliant mind when channelled, but she didn't take
any chances. She made sure the stimulus was present, to occupy her brain, before
she'd let down her guard. And because writing could be such a solitary
occupation, she ensured hers wasn't, by doing her artwork and prose in
company. Lawrence also knew
about her education. She hadn't used her comparative religion studies to delve
more deeply into her "gift". She'd used them to protect herself - to find some
way to control it. Not for Merrie the obscurities of ectoplasmic artforms, or
the etheric darkness of oblique pentagons or magic. No - Merrie had found a way
to live, without dwelling upon her body's preoccupation with
death. He knocked, and Merrie
answered the door herself. "Dusty okay?" she asked quickly.
"Why?" Lawrence quipped.
"Did he come calling?" She
grinned in appreciation, then threw her arms around him, and gave him a
spontaneous hug. "Glad you're here, Zar. Everybody's leaving in five." She
kissed the side of his cheek, then whispered into his ear, "I don't want to be
alone, you see." "What
happens if you goof up? And everybody takes off to a better
party? "There are no better
parties," she said confidently. "And if my public vanishes, I go out." She gave
him a kiss on the other cheek, then nestled against him. "Or else I call my
Zar," she murmured. She pulled back, to look him straight in the eye. "He's
never failed me yet," she said.
*
Ren looked
out over the arid landscape, but all she could see were skeletal paloverdes,
saguaros, ocotillos, and a scattering of mesquite. "This is ridiculous," she
muttered. "I'm supposed to be checking for fungal
damage." "That white leftover
certainly fits the bill," Josh told her, pointing to an ocotillo. "That's
damage, if I ever saw it."
She snorted. "I was hoping
to see something a little more generalised - patterns of damage, that kind of
thing. I'll have to check them
close-up." "One by one?" Josh
asked, dismayed. "Do you
complain like this when you get out your toothbrush and scrape for dinosaur
rubble?" "Point taken. Watch
yourself," he warned. "There's a snake under that rock - and that one." He
pointed to a rock on her left.
"Scorpion." Ren moved back a
little gingerly, until she was clear. "Safe
now?" Josh nodded. "Far as I
can tell. If it's so obvious there's no big fungal problem, then why are we
here?" "I have to assume it's
a serious request, Josh." She admitted, "Makes me feel less used."
"Used for your brain, rather
than your 'brain'." He indicated a large, flat rock. "Scorpions," he said, with
a mock shiver. "Lots of 'em." As he followed her around it, he asked, "What
fungus is this,
anyway?" "Fusarium
oxysporum. A mycoherbicide used for biocontrol. It's been in development for
years. Two-sided assault on the Colombian drug trade - against the coca plants,
and the cash flow for insurgents. Not too nice for the locals,
though." He looked up
quickly. "Why? Ups the
violence?" "Fusariosis.
People with immune deficiencies are susceptible to toxins in the fungus.
Unfortunately, they've found poor diet can compromise the immune system
into a susceptible state. In poverty-stricken areas it can be
fatal." Josh frowned. "How
bad is it?" "Seventy-six
percent mortality, in one
study." "Biowarfare." "It
could be considered that way. They didn't tell me all this, just in case you're
wondering. Once I knew what I was searching for, I looked up the
rest." "Why here?" Josh
looked disparagingly at the miserably sparse plant numbers, somehow eking out a
living in dust-dry soils. "I mean, far be it from me to forego a chance to dig,
but..." His expression said it
all. Ren shrugged.
"Collateral damage? If they're having me look for it, it must mean some got
away." She grimaced. "I don't think they have too much to worry about. This
isn't exactly fungus heaven." Poking a finger warily between the spines of a
saguaro, Ren added, "Even if it took out one, it'd take a bloody miracle to hit
another susceptible host. I don't even know if it can affect
cactus." "That would have
been a good thing to look up," Josh said
practically. "I wasn't
exactly given much time -" she began.
Josh just looked at her.
She laughed. "Okay! I admit
it! Once they told me what I was looking for I got so involved considering the
possibilities that I didn't do all my homework. Is that what you wanted to
hear?" "It'll do for a
start." Josh scanned from horizon to horizon. Pretty open ground. "This
area used to be underwater. Did you know that?" He scanned the arid surface,
searching for unusual features. He pointed to a distant lump of rock, reddish
sandy soil, and scrubby creosote. "That one looks promising."
"Not for
fungus." Josh had a glint in
his eyes. "I'm not looking for
fungus." "If a stegosaurus
seeps out of the sand, I'll let you know." Ren followed him down off the rocks
then said, "Go for it, Josh. You might never get this 'opportunity' again." She
looked around at the heat waves rising off the dried sand and sighed. "I'll just
be strolling through, checking leaves and
stems." "Watch your pit
stops." "Peeping
Tomases?" Josh grinned.
"That's Peeping Joshes, and I wouldn't have felt the need to warn you.
Rattlesnakes." "Oh." "Yeah.
Has to do with ambient temperature. Sometimes, in the middle of the day, they
prefer a little shade. I'd hate to see you get a bite in the
backside." "Glad you know the
desert. Thanks." "See you at
the Plesiosaur." Josh set off determinedly for his lump of dirt in the
distance. "Don't let the
mirages bite!" Ren yelled, turning back to the ocotillo and pulling out her
magnifying lens. She focused it carefully on the leaf, then made a note in her
PDA. She yelped when her specimen caught
fire. Her phone buzzed. "Did
I hear a distant cry of
dismay?" She twisted to look
at him and gave him a big thumbs up. "Just set my leaf on
fire." His chuckle
sounded like hissy static in the phone. "That's what Dusty said you do for him -
and here, I didn't believe him."
*
"What
about your nights?" "You
mean, when I run out of money?"
He looked slightly shocked
at that, and Merrie chuckled. "I don't mean whores, Zar," she laughed. "Male or
otherwise. I meant when I'm broke, and there's no more food or entertainment."
He saw the sadness in her
eyes and knew this was one of the rare times she'd truly let down her guard.
"My nights are indescribably
terrifying." He put an arm
around her, and she leaned back into it. They were on the couch and he knew damn
well this wasn't professional behaviour, but he damn well didn't care. In
defiance of his ethics, he tightened his grip, a glint in his eyes. Ethics be
hanged... She went on,
trying to explain. "They're just people, but I'm selective about the
people who enter my
house." "Didn't you say they
turned up anyway? Came to your
parties?" She shrugged, and
he unconsciously brushed his lips across the top of her head.
"But the stats are against
them. They're outnumbered by the 'living', even if it's only one extra." She
took his hand. "It's when they get me alone..." Her voice tapered
off. "What? What do they
do?" "Angry, Zar?" she asked,
smiling up at him. "Don't be. Not all people are 'nice', and even if they are,
certain situations can set them
off." "The bully
syndrome." "Is that a real
syndrome, or are you talking down to
me?" He grinned. "Talking
down to you. Keeping it simple, so even you can
understand." She laughed
appreciatively. "Tell me why
they bully you." "Because I'm
so open they use me, but then they see me as the living's greatest wimp, because
I'm so easy to circumvent. Even nice people watch violence, Zar - and get a
thrill out of it, too. Very few will stand up to a bully in school. Most will
decide he's on the winning side and go with him
instead." But, Lawrence had
latched on to her mention of violence. "What kind of violence? Poltergeist
activity?" He glanced around the room, searching for signs of damage. It looked
as it always did: colourful, full of lovely, glitteringly gaudy fairy hangings,
crystals, flowers, fluffy cushions, and cheerful furnishings. So vital. So
Merrie. He smiled. Her
next words knocked the smile right off his
face. She sat forward and
lifted her shirt. There was heavy bruising across her rib cage, and when she
pulled up her sleeve, he could see what looked like a bite mark. She wouldn't
look at him, but he knew there'd be terror in her eyes. "H-He attacked me last
night, when I was asleep." A sob escaped, and she scrunched up her fists. He
knew she was angry with herself for that sob, that sign of weakness. It took her
a moment to regain control, and he didn't say
anything. Because, she wasn't
the only one fighting for control. Her "Zar" had just been swept with a nearly
overwhelming urge to do violence to whomever, or whatever, had harmed
her. He guessed it was the
next admission that had really crushed her, though - even more than a singular
entity's decision to violate her. Lawrence knew how she loved people, and
surrounded herself not only for protection, but enjoyment. She worked hard at
happiness for others, and in return, people flocked to her.
How could they
resist? She was used to being
liked, and though she could admit to aberrance in an individual, she expected
something different from the majority. Some sign of friendship, maybe even
support against a challenge. Apparently, last night she'd found neither, and he
guessed she'd been trying all day to make excuses for them. To rationalise away
her terror. Hence, the "greatest wimp" and "winning side" comments. Now, she
sighed, her expression dismal as she showed him her back, and the scratch marks
there. He could barely hear her when she whispered, "The worst of it was, the
others were all cheering him on."
*
Her phone
buzzed again, and Ren jumped. She'd been concentrating so hard she'd tuned out
everything else. "Yeah?" she asked
distractedly. "Are you
drinking your water?"
"No." "Well,
get on it. Heat stroke's a
killer." Ren lifted her head,
to stare blankly at the distant horizon. "That's not why you called," she said.
"Do you need me?" "I think
so," Josh told her. "I'm beginning to realise why they needed us
both." She stuffed her
specimens into her bag; moving rapidly while she held the phone in place with
her shoulder. "Want I should use the earpiece, so I can stay on-line?" She
zipped the pack and slung it over one shoulder, then started jogging in Josh's
direction. "Better not waste
the battery," Josh warned.
"Wait!" she puffed.
"Why?" "Why not waste the
battery? You stupid,
Woman?" "No!" she panted
impatiently. "Why the two of us? For
back-up?" "No-o," he said
slowly. "Triangulation."
*
"You won't
be alone tonight." It was a statement. Lawrence Valterzar had seen a lot in the
last six years. Cheery furnishings and bright knickknacks grew shadows in the
night, creating their own sense of threat. Reds bled into black. Darkness
travelled. In Merrie's case, the air around her took form.
He recalled the
near-desperation with which Dustin had confronted his illness. He'd heard his
words, as he thrashed in delirium. They'd let Erik "come out", because he'd
arrived almost before they'd realised what he was doing. His theatrics had
diminished his usefulness to them, but had done a lot to enhance the "psychic"
image, so they'd let him go. Dustin wouldn't find it that easy. He was a
cripple, who was bound by the complexities of his own mind. As much as he might
find it abhorrent to rely on someone else, he'd always have to have someone
there, to bail him out.
Lawrence wondered what
they'd do to convince him. He still remembered the time they'd nearly shattered
Ren. He'd been newer then, but it had still seemed like overkill for refusal.
Nothing had been said, but he'd known, much as Ren had, that it was a setup. The
difference was, he'd still been naive. He'd only figured it out after-the-fact.
After Ren had already suffered through
it. That incident had made
him question everything. Paranoia in the making. When James Wickham's "accident"
with the rocks had triggered a call for psychiatric intervention, why had he
been summoned? He had his own practice, and although he was listed on-call for
the hospital, his name was way down the list. Had everyone else been busy? Or
had there been a specific reason for the call - to
him? Now, as he found himself
peering around Merrie's apartment, he recalled some of the horror stories he'd
seen. Could she be living over some ancient graveyard? Had someone set it up so
her gift was "active"? He was
lost in his thoughts when Merrie nudged him. They were still on the sofa, and he
knew he had a decision to make. He wasn't about to leave her, but he didn't want
to be just one more person to use her, either. It wouldn't be like that, but
she'd never be sure, and he guessed she'd take any out he offered if it could
see her through the night without
fear. "I'm never 'alone',
Zar. That's the problem." She admitted, "I'd walk the streets before I'd let him
at me again." She didn't have
to translate. She wasn't talking about a casual stroll - she'd go whoring, if
that's what it took, to keep herself from being
alone. Lawrence's lips curved
in a smile. "That won't be necessary," he said. He tilted his head and narrowed
his eyes, staring at the curve of her lips.
Not ethical,
Valterzar. "My Zar," she
said, rubbing her hand against his
chest. To hell with
it. "Or maybe it will -" He bent his head and kissed her, and then just kept
kissing her. He started with her mouth, then nibbled and kissed down her jaw,
and the line of her neck. Damn, she tasted good!
Merrie was breathing heavily
now; her eyes dilated. But she pushed him away - holding him off with a
trembling hand. He had to know. It wouldn't be fair if he didn't know. "He-He
won't like it," she whispered. Her eyes were wet now - fierce with wanting him,
but not prepared to have him go in defenceless. "He'll fight you
-" She averted her head and
stood up, on shaky legs - taking a few steps to widen the distance between them.
It hurt her to say this. She'd wanted him to love her for so long. Longer than
the eternity she sometimes glimpsed in the shadows. Now, he was willing, and she
couldn't let him - because it wouldn't be right. She took a shuddery breath and
forced a smile. "I didn't tell you, just so you'd have to -" She shook her head,
unable to finish. "I know you
didn't." He could read her so clearly. She wanted so much to do the right thing.
It went beyond any fears of karmic requital. It was her innate decency, coming
to the fore. He moved over
to her slowly. "There are 'things' I can stop," he told her. "Rockfalls, for
one. Who knows what
else?" "Things you can stop?"
she whispered. Her arms were around his neck now, as his lips moved with that
irresistible nibble along her
neck. "Many things," he
murmured, picking her up, and burying his face for a moment in her breasts. "But
this -" He kissed her long
and hard, then gave her a half-smile as he kicked open her bedroom door.
"- isn't one of them."
*
"So much
better to be on this side of things for a change," someone said.
Dustin opened his eyes.
"How'd you know I wasn't
asleep?" "I'm an expert at
feigning sleep. Anything to avoid discerning eyes - after one of my 'episodes'."
Dustin smiled. "Expert at
feigning everything." "Heard
you refused 'The Dainler's' help. The way he tells it, he hung out here,
suffering from champagne- and limo- deprivation, while you insisted on healing
naturally." James Wickham grinned. "Made it sound as though you tortured
him." "Have to admit, though,
it was good to see him when I woke up. Just like the old days." Dusty grinned at
James. "Been to any good 'rock and roll' parties
lately?" "Aren't we snide.
It's obvious how much you have things under control." James' voice
lowered dramatically. "Don't know if I can trust you, even
now..." "Look who's talking!
When you tell someone you live a 'stone's throw' away, you really mean
it!" James burst out
laughing. "Never could hold onto it when you were around, Dusty." He plunked
down in the chair, and some of the amusement faded from his voice. "They want us
to do a job together." At Dusty's expression, James said, "Believe me, I
understand how you feel. I'm so dependent on the fuckers I can barely screw
myself -" It was Dusty's turn
to laugh. "What do they want? A 'fresh' sample of Cretaceous granite? If it's
dinosaurs, I'm not going to sit there while you fling rocks in their faces
-" "Rocks aren't my only
forte," James argued. "Just what I'm famous for." He leaned back and put his
hands behind his head, and his feet up on the bed. "It's all very innocent.
Supposedly, they need a 3D animation of an eruption. I'm the expert on all
things geological, and you're the graphics man. To get the feel, we're getting
an all-expenses paid trip to some remote, volcanically active island. Remote
from here,
anyway." "Isolated," Dusty
commented. James nodded.
"Very. The trip's short-term - just to give us the 'feel' of fire and brimstone.
The problem is, they know it's a trek I'd kill
for." "And they need to find
out whether I'm still in the fold. Valterzar coming
along?" James shook his head.
"Zar's -" he began. Dustin
looked at him
strangely. "Merrie's word,"
he explained. Dusty nodded.
"Ah-h." James grinned.
"Anyway, Zar's been standing up to them. Had it from
Merrie." "She's getting
pretty chummy with him, isn't
she?" "She'd get a lot more
chummy with him if he'd let
her." Dustin thought about
it. Merrie was generally a pretty good judge of character.
James saw his expression and
laughed. "Can't have all the women!" he complained. "Isn't Ren
enough?!" "It's not Merrie
I'm wondering about." Dusty hesitated, then blurted, "Ren hasn't been around."
He heard something like self-pity in his voice, and clamped his lips shut.
"And here you did all that
big, brave suffering, and she didn't even bother to come and watch." James was
smiling again. "What a waste of
angst." Dustin looked
embarrassed. "For your
information, she's too far away." He sobered. "She's with Josh - in
Mexico." "Another 'field
trip'?" Dustin asked,
worried. "Unfortunately, yes.
If it helps, Ren only went once she knew Dainler was
here." Dustin smiled.
"Symtech has it all set up
to maximise their results," James said, somewhat bitterly. "Pairing us off to
see what happens. Josh and Ren, you and me, Merrie and Zar."
"Zar?" Dustin
asked. James looked amused.
"Haven't you guessed? Come to think of it, I don't think old Zar knows it
himself. Whether he realises it or not, Valterzar is one of us."
***
Chapter
Four
Josh made
her sit in his shade and drink some water. "You're going to look like a broiled
lobster," he remarked. "I
feel like one," she said, lifting her face as the faintest of breezes swept her
face. "Damn it," she sighed. "Just a teaser." As she shifted, the rocky sand
crackled and crunched beneath her hiking boots. She closed her eyes to dream of
more breezes. "Tell me about -" she began. Her eyes popped open and she told
Josh, "There's someone...a man. It's
close." "Good," Josh sighed.
"Because I'm getting the
wreckage." "A
plane?" "Yeah. Stay here,
while I go about 100 metres that way." He headed down the slight incline, moving
nearly at a jog across the sandy soil. Ren listened to the crunching steps, and
watched the untouched surface marked with the pattern of his boots. When he
waved at her, she punched in his number. "What direction do you get?" she
asked. "Northwest. What about
you?" She focused on the
wavelength of that other individual - the one who was emitting all kinds of
distress and fear. "Just east of north," she said.
She could hear the smile in
Josh's voice. "See you there," he replied.
*
"What do
you think you're doing?" James had to scoot the chair to one side so Dustin
could finish climbing out of the bed. The plastic at the base of the chair legs
gave out an obnoxious rubbery squawk that grated on his nerves. "Damn, but
you're rude! Still visiting, you
know." "And I can't tell you
how much I'm enjoying it." Dustin turned his back, hopped over to the closet,
and pulled out the small suitcase Josh had brought over - when was it? two
days ago? "Duty call. If
I'd known it was going to make you crazed I would've waited." James lifted his
eyebrows when Dusty got impatient with the IV stand and yanked out the needle.
"Excuse me, but I don't think that's part of your
therapy." "I should've known
that my stunt with Josh would have some kind of backlash," Dustin said angrily,
as he tugged on a shirt. "Either that, or this is payback for Ren's healing
efforts. Moving her far away so she can't be contaminated by my 'fight for
freedom'." "Damned
insurgent," James said calmly. "Maybe they want to switch the mix to find out if
Josh is the trigger." "Or me.
Doesn't that worry you a little?" He perched on the edge of the bed and gingerly
slid his sore leg into his pants.
"Hey, I work in geological
time. Old rock, new rock, what do I care? If you're going somewhere, you'd
better take along a prescription. Unless you prefer being
dead." "More complications.
There must be some prescription written up somewhere, if they planned on having
me go off, filming
volcanoes." "Animating them.
No gyrating lava or tapdancing pumice, please. Besides, that was a future event.
Say, two to three weeks in the future. Something to occupy your mind while you
healed." "Or convince me to
run to Erik for help." Dustin was stuffing miscellanea out of the drawer into
his bag now. "More manipulation. Even when we think we're fucking them, they're
actually fucking us." He sounded tired, and he sat down on the edge of the
bed. "Calmase." James
told him. "Not likely,"
Dustin said grimly. He went to stand up again, but he just didn't have the
strength. "I'm not going to go running
-" "Silencio. It's
obvious you're not running anywhere." James forced him back into bed and propped
his leg on a pillow.
"Bueno." "What are you on
about?" Dustin asked
irritably. "Practicing my
Spanish. Don't worry about it. I'll do the talking for you," James said with
exaggerated kindness. "'Mi amigo es muy gordo.' Things like
that." "'My friend is very
fat'?" "Loses something in
the translation." "'Gains' is
more like it. You're coming to Mexico with
me?" "I'm a volcanophile. I
can't deny my calling."
"We'll look for one in
Mexico. C'mon, Jamie. Maybe I'll find you a nice
rock." "Some incentive,"
James retorted sarcastically. He gave a dramatic sigh. "I should've known the
only pyroclastics I was going to get on this trip were your half-baked
ideas."
*
Merrie was
asleep in his arms, her head on his shoulder, one hand on his chest. Lawrence
Valterzar was feeling raw - as new and exposed as an open wound. The only thing
was, it didn't hurt - yet.
But it would. He'd read too
much, seen too much. Talked to too many patients. Witnessed too many of life's
failures in the voices of those who'd suffered emotional turmoil. It was this -
this angst - that had kept him at a distance for so
long. Except, he could no
longer live vicariously. His avoidance had gone from being the pure gesture of
the objective observer, to the unhealthily vicarious role of the voyeur. If he'd
denied what he was feeling for this woman at his side, after she'd so willingly
exposed her spirit to him, he would have been wronging her - and himself. She
hadn't confided in him because she needed a friend, or because he was supposed
to be the one with solutions. She'd spoken because he was her "Zar", and she was
vulnerable. In too much pain and fear to continue the charade. She'd needed
him - not the role he'd agreed to play.
He loved her. He'd loved her
and denied it for so long that he'd no longer known which was stronger - the
truth or the lie. Until, for the first time, she'd needed him, and it broke down
all the barriers. Her need had made it natural - easy, even - to surmount any
obstacles his logic laid in his path. Things like ethics, and the need to keep
his distance in order to perform his job; the problems of viewing all members of
his "Cluster" in an equal light, so that he could make judgment calls without
discrimination. His responsibility to make himself available to the others, when
all he could think of was being with
her. Now, his being with her
was about to be challenged. He could sense it coming, even as she lay innocently
asleep. From what she'd said, he guessed that there'd been little sleep for her
recently - that she'd fought off the advances of her admirer by giving him no
openings. It was only when exhaustion had trapped her that he'd sneaked in, to
catch her unaware. In those
moments, Zar was more naked that he'd ever been in his life. If he'd felt
vulnerable moments before, it was nothing to what he was feeling now.
It was filling the corners
of the room. A condensation of space that made the dimensions of the room so
much smaller. So dense, and chill.
Like the confines of his
coffin. Zar sensed it - the bitterness, the twisted anger that could only be
assuaged by tormenting the weak. Pseudo-strength bought by diminishing others.
Zar moved to wake her, to warn her, then paused. The bully would taunt, would
threaten if she were awake - but he wouldn't show himself. He needed to use a
weakness to bring himself forth. Then, he'd manipulate that weakness to belittle
a woman. With him, it would
always be women. Zar knew him then. Just another predator who preyed on a
woman's trust. Zar's eyes narrowed. Come in, he pleaded. Come in.
Something savage was stirring inside Zar, as he lay there, deceptively silent,
and stared at the gathering darkness through narrowed lids. The churning inside
owed nothing to nerves - if anything, it was anticipation. Zar fought to
suppress a smile. Some part
of his brain was trying to shout a warning, but he ignored it. "That" part of
his brain didn't know how to handle this, but there was some instinctive part
that did. Some part that was actually looking forward to it.
Come
in... Merrie stirred now,
and stiffened, as she sensed the violence in the room. She reached for him but
he shook his head. "Best if you don't touch me," he warned. He stood up, naked,
but feeling far from vulnerable now. The darkness gathered around him.
It was trying to crowd him.
Waves of billowing black with odd glimmers of light that could mould a hand, or
an arm. Pseudo-humanity attempting to prove itself through an act of remembered
virulence. Zar wanted to laugh as it attempted to jostle him - to crowd him much
as a knife-wielder might in a dark alley. "Wanna rumble?" Zar said harshly. He
was actually smiling, as, palm-extended, he shoved his hand into the densest
mass of swirling black. "Die, Fucker," he said
calmly. The black began to
whirl faster, and Merrie covered her ears against the wails that filled the
room. The black condensed still further, becoming swirling strings of black
matter - thick, gooey, with a viscousness that flowed back and forth between
layers. Zar squinted and
slowly drew his fingers into a fist. As his fingers curved, they seemed to draw
the black with them. The gyrating vortex upped in intensity, but it now had an
irregular wobble that grew worse as the vortex narrowed. As his hand closed, the
blackness tore into his fist with a whine reminiscent of swift-singing wind.
It disappeared, with a
tremendous bang that shivered the walls of the
room. Zar dusted off his palm
distastefully, then turned to look at her. It would be a while before he could
calm down. His adrenaline was still pulsing, and some of that primitive sense of
domination was still with
him. She reached for him, but
he shook his head. "If I take you now, it won't be love," he warned her in a
growl. Lust, pure and simple. The need to dominate. To rape, if that's what it
took to make her his. She
had to know. She pulled back
the covers and spread her legs. As he mounted her in a frenzied,
passion-pounding release that bore no resemblance to their former lovemaking,
her insides swelled to meet him, and she came, again and again. Not love?
With Zar? She whispered huskily, "It is for me."
*
They
could have warned us, Ren thought worriedly as she hauled her sweaty body
across yet another empty-looking swathe of desert. Josh was emitting similar
patterns of worried impatience, and the beginnings of frustration. There was a
huge difference between liberating a few leaves from a plant, and liberating a
person from a downed plane.
I'm not that kind of
doctor! She hoped Josh was better versed in first aid than she was. The mini
kits they were carrying in their packs were hardly stocked to cope with a severe
injury. The most they could hope for was to keep the man alive while they broke
radio silence and called for help.
They should have asked
Erik along. Maybe they thought he wouldn't go - or maybe they thought the pilot
was already dead. Josh
was of a different opinion. She punched in his number. "I don't think you should
be so negative, Josh. If they didn't care, they wouldn't have sent
us." "Will you cut that
out!" he complained. "I let down my guard for an instant, and you're in
there, picking my brain!" "It
wasn't that way. I was thinking how hard this might be, and what may have
motivated them to send us instead of Erik. And your thoughts sort of 'sifted
in'." She sounded slightly
embarrassed. Josh was hot and
sweaty and frustrated. "Maybe. It's still
unethical." "What about those
times you described my underwear to Dustin?" she
flared. "That was years ago
-" he began. "Are you trying
to tell me you never do that kind of thing now? You never meet somebody and pry,
just a little, to see what they're made of?" There was silence on the other end.
Ren added, "Seems to me I recall, just last week, some jokes about Dr.
Armadillo's -" "Arbuthott's,"
Josh corrected. "-
Arbuthott's inadequate lecture notes. Something about how lucky he was to
bullshit his way through it." She sniffed loudly, into the phone. "I thought we
were working together," Ren went on sadly. "I mean that, Josh - I never would've
pried. I-I didn't mean
to." "That's okay, Ren. I was
just giving you a hard time. Don't take it so hard -" He went quiet when the
sound of her laughter came buzzing through the phone. He grinned and shook his
head. "I'll get you for that one, Magnus." The tone of his voice changed. "Ren,
how close are you?" "Dammit
if I know! Why?" "I think
I've found it," he said
seriously. She took a nervous
breath. "Wait for me, Josh. I'll hurry." She tuned into him for a moment, sensed
he was deliberating going in without her, and added, "Promise me. Because if you
damn well hurt yourself, I'm probably going to have to heal you - and you'll
have to live with that!" It
was circuitous, but he got it. "All right," he grouched. "But quit picking the
flowers and move your
butt." Ren smirked, shoved
the last of the plant samples in her pack, and took off at a run.
*
"Could you
ask the nurse for something? For pain?" Dustin leaned back against the
pillows. "No problem." At the
door James hesitated, looked at him obliquely, then said jokingly, "Don't go
anywhere, okay?" Once the
door had swooshed closed, Dusty counted to five, then climbed back out of bed.
He snatched up the IV bag and its replacement, plus the antibiotic infusion that
was meant to feed into it. Enough to get him to Mexico, then he'd find a
pharmacy to refill the prescription. He wrapped the lot in a spare shirt and
then in a plastic bag. There
was no way he could carry the suitcase. Instead, he popped it open, snatched up
his wallet and phone and headed for the window. After checking for foot traffic,
he tossed out the crutches, then eyed the distance to the ground. One floor.
No problemo. James
would be pissed off, but he'd get over it. He'd also know why. He'd want to put
the trip off. Jamie was a bugger for caution. No wonder, given the nature of his
gift. He'd want to wait, until Dustin was stronger.
It didn't matter that Jamie
was right. Because he hadn't been there when a dinosaur had come charging out of
the past and into the present. Dustin doubted whether even the evidence of his
holey leg could get through to James or Merrie or Valterzar. It was like
happening on an accident, after the victims had been patched up. Erik might have
some idea, because he'd done some of the patching. But the others wouldn't. As
much as they might object to being experimented on, they wouldn't really know
what they were dealing with.
Any more than Symtech did.
Dustin was more scared than
he wanted to admit. He and Josh had spent lots of time together, but this kind
of thing had never happened before. Oh, Dusty had bouts of retro, but nothing
with the "graphic" intensity of those moments in the flatlands.
He had to know. He wouldn't
be able to sleep until he knew. Whether it was a fluke, weird timing, their
proximity, sunspots, or the way his life was going to be from now on. Whether
standing on a nonexistent road would send a chariot careening into his body, or
if landing in an empty field would end with a broadsword in the butt. Whether
something about him had changed, to bring his "retro" into the present.
If he was the catalyst for
this, then they shouldn't be pairing him - with anybody. And he certainly
shouldn't be considering pairing himself permanently with Ren.
Which made an impromptu trip
to Mexico foolish, irresponsible - perhaps, even, reprehensible. A disaster,
from the antibiotics he needed for his leg to the uncertainty about what he'd do
when he got there. When it
came down to it, though, none of that mattered. Because Ren was there, and Josh,
who was one of his closest friends. If he was worried about them, he had every
right to pay them a visit.
He swung down from the
window, gritted his teeth and let go.
He lay there, his world
momentarily eclipsed by pain. Then he grabbed his plastic bag and his crutches
and forced himself to his
feet. Every right in the
world...
*
Lawrence
Valterzar clicked "End" then sat there, tapping the phone against his chin. He
was trying to decide what to do. They'd alerted him, of course, as soon as
Dustin had left the hospital.
Lawrence stared a little
dubiously at the phone. Despite their threats, they apparently had no intention
of firing him. The first
person he'd phoned had been James Wickham. James had sounded surprised - so
surprised that Lawrence suspected he knew exactly where Dustin had gone.
It would be easy enough to
trace Dusty's movements through Symtech - to track his credit cards or ATM, but
that's not the way Lawrence wanted to do it. Not if he believed his own claims
that Dustin Mallory was both independent and self-determined.
This wasn't merely an
extension of Dustin's independence day - he was headed somewhere. After all,
he'd pulled off the self-save, without Erik's intervention. He had no need to
leave unless he had somewhere better to go. Lawrence could think of only one
place that would seem "better" to Dustin - and that was wherever Ren happened to
be. Once again, Lawrence felt
that repugnance at interfering with the man's life. He'd hate it if someone did
it to him. Why did they have to follow Mallory around as though he were a
child? Because he was acting
like one? Taking off, telling no one where he was going to
be? And if I wanted to do
that? Why not?
Why shouldn't he? Dustin
was smart - maybe he had all the logistics worked out. If he wanted to visit his
girlfriend in Mexico, who had the right to stop
him? And if his
girlfriend's engaged in some government brouhaha that doesn't bear close
examination? Who draws the lines
then? Lawrence was in a
bind. If he sent people in to bring Dustin back, it could alienate him from the
man forever. That wasn't something Lawrence wanted to do. Not only did he
consider Dusty a friend - he had a lot of respect for him, too. A token of that
respect had been his own nonappearance at the hospital while Dustin was
recuperating. That way, there could be no misinterpretation or misunderstanding.
Lawrence had hoped he'd make it clear that noninterference was the new status
quo. That help would only be forthcoming if Mallory wanted
it. In its own way, it was a
fantasy, because Charles Smythe and Marc Jekkes were not about to allow Dustin
or any of the others to wander around unprotected. They had too much to lose
through a misstep - whether by their charges or to them. That was
what was getting them now: Dustin had managed to lose his "protectors",
too. Which made the question
of whether Lawrence Valterzar was going to Mexico merely an exercise in
rhetoric. For all intents and purposes, he was already on his way.
*
Dustin
knew he had a major problem. He'd already run into two Olmecs and a couple of
Santa Anna's men. He'd nearly been hit by a bus, because a steer had charged him
somewhere in the centre of town. Now, he was in the middle of a square,
surrounded by women in long dresses. So far, nothing out of the past had tackled
him, but the present was a far greater threat. Usually, his episodes were
intermittent. Today - probably due to the medication he was taking - he'd had
three episodes in as many hours.
He'd never make it to
wherever Ren was at this point. That was the other thing: he had no way of
knowing exactly where she was. He'd somehow thought, given their natures, that
some kind of "psychic beacon" would flare up in the muddle of his mind. It was
obvious now that the painkillers had worn off - boy, had they worn off! -
that he hadn't been thinking clearly. At the rate he was going, he'd be more
likely to see what happened to her yesterday, than
today... Gooseflesh danced
across his skin, and some of the weariness left his face. He'd never tried it,
but it might just work. He grinned, and flagged down a taxi. Time to go back to
the airport.
*
"What do
you see?" Ren asked him. "Why
are you whispering?" Josh asked. "Afraid a stray lizard might
hear?" "There's a man in
there," Ren explained, "so don't be
cynical." Josh looked
dubiously at the wreckage. The small cargo plane had slid along the desert
floor, then ploughed into one of the sandstone mini mounts. It was more than a
little crunched, and layered with sandy soil and rock. "He's not going to be too
healthy," Josh remarked
unhappily. "How's your first
aid?" "Probably on a par with
yours." "You realise that
doesn't say much. Can't you focus on a medical manual or something?"
He realised she was halfway
serious. "No real focal point. What about you?" he asked hopefully. "Any chance
of getting internet access on your phone, so we can get some
ideas?" She shook her head.
"The best I could do is send out the emergency signal, and hope they hear
it." Josh nodded, and started
across the rubble. "They never leave us alone, and then the one time we'd really
like to see them, they play hard to
find." "Maybe they didn't
expect us to wander so far away from where they'd sent us."
The rocks crunched under
Josh's feet, making each step uncomfortably loud. "Wish I could tiptoe," he
hissed. He squatted down and began to paw at the soil that was blocking the
door. "Hotcha-la-lacha!" he complained. "And this is in the
shade." "Why are you
whispering?" Ren asked him. Josh shrugged. "I'll try the other side." Her
crunch, though quieter, was still too conspicuous. Why am I worried about
it? she thought. The
answer filtered into her head the next second. She'd been interpreting the
victim's mindset as indicative of pain, panic, terror. She'd just realised
something else: this was not a "nice" man. He had murder on his
mind. Ren came tearing back
around the fuselage, and ran smack into Josh, who'd been running back the other
way. The thud stunned them both, and they splayed on the ground.
"Didn't your 'telepathy'
tell you where I was?" Josh
griped. Ren was panting in
the heat, and she jerked her hands away from the burning soil. "He's a bad guy,
you jerk!" she hissed to
Josh. He nodded, rubbing his
head where it had hit the metal. "And he has a gun," Josh replied. He looked
warily at the bent fuselage. "What the hell are we going to do now?"
*
He'd never
tried "directing" it before. He'd never had a reason to. The closest he'd come
had been that time with Josh, when he'd tried hunting for his
dinosaur. Should that be a
warning? Was that what had gone wrong? Had he been concentrating so hard that
he'd not only brought part of the past into his head - he'd brought part of
himself into the past? Not
the happiest conclusion, but it might be one he could live with. As long as he
didn't willingly call events forth, they might remain what they were before: a
glimpse, a scene, a small enactment of the past.
Sooner or later, I'm
going to have to test it
out. It sounded like a
good excuse for doing exactly what he wanted to do. Common sense told him he'd
be a lot better off running his "tests" in a less public location, with a
suitable back-up. That plan had several marks against it, though: the only ones
who would really tolerate the "testing" were the very people who might interfere
with it. And, if his back-up included someone like Valterzar, any feedback would
soon be in a report on somebody else's
desk. If it's me, all by
my lonesome, who caused this - his hand pressed the sore spot on his thigh -
then it was on a "need to know" basis only. In Dusty's mind, the only