Feel free to use these ideas, but get permission from me if
you wish to publish them.
Comment for benefit of Internet readers: When doing "Dimples" I wear a feather wig that I dyed bright yellow, plus full makeup, red-and-white striped long-sleeve turtleneck shirt, wild blue surfer pants pulled up to my knees with red suspenders, red-and-white striped knee-high socks, and yellow duck feet.
This document starts with a long list of ideas, and concludes with some notes made following my experience in a parade.
Walkabouts/Parades:
Carry broom and small piece of carpet. Sweep the street thoroughly but quickly, then put down
carpet, lift corner, and sweep dirt under it. Stamp it down, give curt nod of satisfaction or "ta
da!" Then pick up carpet and move on. Also:
With push broom it would be possible to "drive" the broom like a car, w/arm signals;
add bicycle horn and side mirror to enhance this effect.
With ordinary broom, dust off shoes of self and others. Annoy sitting people by
sweeping under their feet.
Fall asleep leaning on broom.
Play "drum major."
Use as flyswatter, canoe paddle, rifle (hunter or soldier).
Sweep horse droppings into a pile. Caution others re pile, or hold nose and wave it
away. After sweeping, wipe sweat from brow, then scan the street looking (under hand)
for more work. Exaggerate your moves!
Drag broom to show fatigue; get lower and lower, finally put forehead to pavement.
Then bounce up and hurry to catch up with parade.
Use broom or rug as sun shade (hang rug over end of broom).
Dance briefly w/ broom if music provided.
Would perhaps be possible to use confetti in act, then sweep it up and into pocket on
underside of carpet. See comments below on how these ideas worked for me in a parade.
Binoculars with ping pong ball "eyes" at objective end. Alternative: big "moving button" eyes.
Add interest by having eyes move, cross (or simply crossed), blink, pop out, bounce on springs
or string, or use inflating balloons. Add eyelashes (black construction paper)? Could increase
binocular size by adding construction paper tubes at objective end; use Whiffle balls for larger
eyes. Eyes on springs would allow pull out, snap back. Take out lenses/prisms to allow
look-through and reduce weight. Cf. ventriloquist dummy construction & design. Use to:
• Scan the sky looking for birds (with bird mounted on top of head); use bird call. Can combine
with:
• Get a closer look at a pretty girl: bend over, peering intently with hand shading eyes, rub eyes
with both hands, use B. for closer look, straighten up and sigh with hands over heart and eyes
gazing heavenward, and/or fan self, then move on
• Find assistant standing right next to you ("Oh, there you are!").
During pauses or longer waits, don't lounge around--keep moving, be constantly "on," interact
with people, if only to:
• Dust chairs, people, etc. Have them stand up so you can dust chair. Dust seat for new arrivals,
then sit down yourself (vary this)
• Look for something to become intrigued by, investigate it, then use funkenring
• Follow walking people around; if anyone is doing something, try to help, then use funkenring
• Flirt with old women (wave fingers, act coy)
• Use bird call, squeaker, "cricket," or vent, then try to find same. Look in child's ear, backward
through legs, in hat and pockets, etc.
• Too hot: mop face with bouncing handkerchief; fan self or another w/same or hat.
Blow bubbles, try to bite them, increasing frustration; then catch with hand, pop in mouth,
show satisfaction. Need a first-rate way to produce bubbles for this! Bubble hat w/ butterfly net
makes a complete routine but wind must be at back. Hit bubbles with tennis racket. Make a
burst of bubbles, then pop each at top speed until all are gone (impossible!?). Make giant
bubbles. Make bubble clusters. Helium filled!? Become a bubble specialist.
Spring-loaded hat (e.g., Be a Clown) can be enhanced. "Try" a couple of times to put hat on,
then hold hat a foot above head and jump into it. Or, hold hat to left of head, play nonchalant,
sneak up on it, then pounce. Use elastic band attached with velcro?
Short bits: flower with detachable stem, followed by flower stuck to nose; fake hand for
handshakes; water-squirting flower?
May not be workable for a fast parade: Use fake arm carrying a basket, with real arm as a
snake in the basket. Clown lifts lid off basket, blows flute, snake appears, facing audience,
menacing (mechanical hissing sound?); then turns to clown; snake sways side-to-side, clown's
head soon matches snake's motion, flute stops; clown's head rolls in a circle and falls
backward; snake bites clown on neck; snake stiffens, shudders, shakes head in disgust, falls to
hang over side of basket; snake sinks sickly down into basket; clown comes awake, puts lid on
basket, proceeds. During longer pauses, snake fans clown with clown's hat. Fake hand may
hold flute. What to do while basket is closed (i.e., between stops)? Need one-handed gags like
the flower stem, dragging suspenders, or possibly a "walk-about" (e.g., suitcase gag). For a
party, could intro a ventriloquism act. (One gag: snake wants to shake hands, clown laughs,
snake is embarrassed. Other thoughts for dialog: what snake eats; what he wants to eat (hot
dogs?); where he's from; hatching from an egg, thinks he's a chicken, goes into denial)
Whatever you take along you should be prepared to use; without ideas, a prop is a millstone (or
may be good for ad-libs?). Maybe best: a standard prop (e.g., broom) used with wit.
Get/Make:
Ultra-safe "stash" pocket for car keys, etc.
Cricket noisemaker, bird call, or squeaker (or
vent?)
Rubber eye--"private" eye or "I've got my eye
on you"
False arm
"Bang" gun
Back-of-the-head mask
Install funkenring in prop camera; add talcum
sprayer, other gimmicks?
Clown enters wearing extra-large red nose, faces audience, says hello, then says, "Wait a minute. I
can't see you very well. There's a big red thing in the way." Gropes blindly in front of himself for
a minute, then says, "Wait, it's my nose!" Removes nose, revealing smaller red nose underneath.
Talking to Kids:
In general: try to anticipate what they'll say about what you're doing, and prepare responses.
Kid: "You're not a real clown!"
Clown: "I don't think you're really a kid." (Less hostile than "You're not a real kid.") or: "No, but I
am a real idiot" (plus goofy look) or "Let's not spoil it for the little kids."
Clown to Kid: "That's a nice dog you have."
Kid: "I don't have a dog."
Clown (look around puzzled): "Where'd he go?" If possible complete the following: "Oh, he must
be a ______________." or "Oh, that must have been a _________ I saw." Maybe: "Wow, he got
out of here fast." Or just look around for a minute, then shrug.
"Is that your husband [wife]?"
"How many children do you have?"
"What sort of work do you do?"
Doubtful:
"Nice wig. Oh, you mean it's real?"
"How do you keep your nose so red?"
Problem with "free dimples": kids won't be able to see them on their own face! Use "dimple
stickers"? Face painting? Forget it?
Lessons from Clown Parade (8/1/98)
I walked in a parade in Frazier Park, carrying a broom and with a small piece of carpet available to me on the truck I accompanied. Here's how it went:
I was near fainting at the end, and the day wasn't even that hot. Need to pace myself better, do
less running, start slower to last longer, get in shape. Also, have water and maybe a spray
bottle available en route, and a soda cooler in the car at the end.
Nose not glued on was a small mistake, required occasional push to keep it on.
Make sure the camera is ready!
Tape did not keep hat on top of wig. Hood allowed taping of wig to it, but while wearing it
could not feel wig position very well; however, wig seemed to stay put. Attach tape to inside of
wig first, not to hood (position was wrong on 3 of 4 pieces of tape).
Rubber gloves are a poor substitute for regular gloves! Hands were swimming in sweat by end
of parade.
Putting black glasses inside my own didn't work, seemed too unstable; attaching construction
paper cutout to regular glasses is worth a try.
If it can fall down or come loose, it probably will, though wig and shoes seemingly worked
well enough.
Bicycle horn in pocket not used because inaudible--parades are loud. Didn't take funkenring,
would have been ineffective anyway. Bouncing handkerchief would have been a good gag.
What's needed are medium to large visuals or loud sounds.
Suspenders kept slipping off, so I detached them at the front; worked well as a gag, hanging
down back of pants. As you walk along, look down and back, left and right, then between legs;
grab suspenders and pull them up between legs; (shake head and) toss them down, then pull up
back of pants as you walk on. Might try: stuff suspenders down back of pants, walk off
stiff-legged. Would be effective to have confederate pull on suspenders, let them snap, etc.
(remove metal clips!) Would have been a good move to get broom or foot (or both) tangled in
the suspenders. If much of this may be done, sew suspenders to pants for safety & efficiency.
Broom worked well, providing many effective bits--sweeping up manure, canoe paddling, and
tired dragging, mostly. Drum major would be a good addition. Rug used only once, useless in a
fast parade, and tiresome to carry; okay as prop on truck for occasional use. Broom with
suspenders provided plenty of shtick for parade (though there were no long stops).
Had little interaction with audience; parade moved too fast. Shook hands with crossing guards.
Sat down next to one audience member, asked if he was enjoying the parade, etc. He was
amused despite lack of witty dialogue. Could improve on both, as these are likely to come up
in any parade. Use comic handshakes (see Clown Magic).
Photog with video camera: I could have strutted proudly, then tripped, but needs practice
Clowning partner would be very helpful; e.g., Robin took hold of broom to pull me up the hill
at the end. Someone to carry rug?
Pants pockets almost useless; put only one item in each pocket.
Have ready at the end of the route: a bag to put stuff in; sodas in cooler; if not going right
home: regular shoes, clothes, and wet wipes (at least?) and mirror to remove makeup. Or plan
on staying in costume.
