• CORNER: definition
    the angular
    part or space
    between meeting lines,
    edges, or borders
    near the vertex
    of the angle.

    VERTEX: definition
    the intersection
    of two endpoints,
    connection or
    togetherness as one.

    KANDI: definition
    but not limited to'
    5'4 .
    black italian mix.
    college junior.
    sista now
    in the
    dirty south.
    chosen one.
    open minded.
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Saturday May 18, 2002

Truth Hurts. So it's fair to say I am addicted to this "Addictive" song. I LOVE it. It did take awhile to grow on me but now I think that beat is so hot' something different in the era of the hippity hop. A' does too. I dunno, I just really feel the lyrics. Most of my time in the car is spent listening to the A/C because 1) I don't let my children listen to this adult crap they know they have no business littering the airwaves with during the daytime and 2) most of that pre-packaged tracks are so formulaic and indistinguishable it makes my stomach turn. How annoying is it to get in the car and find all three of the bearable stations in this town ("hip-hop",one "hip hop/r&b",one "soulful", one "rock/hip hop/pop" which I dont listen to), for all THREE to be blaring the same new cookie-cutter JaRule or P-Diddy collaboration at the exact same time. There is no real variety and the wealth of creativity and originality blossoming in the music world is just not reflected on our local airwaves. So 99% of the time I keep it off. But every once in a while when the kids aren't in the car I'll venture away from my beloved public radio and see (hear?!) what the masses are being conditioned to enjoy next. And like I said, I'm loving this Truth Hurts cut. A' loves it too. The thing is, our favorite line is where old girl belts out "He's so contagious. He turns my pages..." But I read an article to tell me we were wrong, that the lyric is actually "REturns my pages" and not "turns my pages" after all! The lyrics are even cited online by an official website. I don't know what the real deal is- although I must admit what got me hooked in the first place was thinking she was saying "turns my pages". I was like hot' damn! He' must be the shiznit!.I always get emotional when she gets to that part. I mean, I don't think I've ever had a man that "turned my pages", but can you imagine what it must feel like if you did?! I don't even know what that MEANS: "turns my pages", but as a literary metaphor I'm thinking it must be mighty good. Mmmm hmm. 

   Ok, confession time. I- the self-proclaimed and un-ashamed QUEEN of unemployment and living without a managable income. I broke down, yes, I did, I got a job. Not a REAL job, mind you, in the sense that I don't work 9-5, I work per hour and am not salaried, and since it's only part-time I STILL am uninsured. (But my children aren't, mind you, never that.) But it IS a real job in the sense that I get a paycheck every Friday with too much taken out for Social Security, I earn enough to keep me qualified for that $808 1-child Earned Income Credit tax refund every year, and I actually have to get up and be somewhere as opposed to working from home. What am I doing? During the school year I work at school but Im thinkin of takin a break for the summer since they gratefully permit it to us students to take off then.     

For the record- she and I STILL are not speaking; she has her side of the house I have mine, and for the most part we manage to be ships passing in the night now. I am so pissed I could BITE her right now b/c she put some kinda damn block on the AC that I can't unprogram without a code, which means that as I type the thermometer in the hall reads 87 at 3 something in the morning. But here this hoe's gonna lock the damn AC and then take her huzzy tail (and her 4 kids) rolled up outta here and dashed over her mans house, to spend the night at her man's house where he and his two children (TWO!) no doubt have the air blasting- but we have to suffer all because she thinks the power bill is too high. Ah!!!   

 I want to tell my mom so badly, but then again I don't want to stress her out about us not getting along, so I have managed (up 'til now) to bite my tongue. But I swear she makes my blood boil- literally sometimes. My poor babies laying in their bed in just some drawers absolutely soaked to the core, sweat sealing their little wet frame, me waking them up very few hours to drink some ice water but my son refusing 'cause he doesn't want to fall back asleep and wet the bed- ooh I could wring her neck! I'm sorry, but we are not living on the set of the Good Times. We do not have AC units in the windows or fans in every room (although if I could afford it I'd have to invest in some). No, we are your run of the mill upwardly mobile black family and for us to be walking around in this big suburbia  house in our drawers 'cause that woman is scared of the power bill being too high for her budget is a bit ridiculous. Then she has the nerve to get pissed if I walk downstairs in some shorts (not my panties mind you, just some shorts!) if her man is there, well if she'd turn on the damn air I'd get dressed! He's a man, hes gonna look if I was a million miles away from you! Not like Im gonna flirt with him or give him some, puh leeze!! I can do so much better than my sister's man. I dont want to share a man anyways. You know it's bad when it's summer and you have to go outside to cool off. Then her piglet of a son ate my entire box of  MnM's before I even tasted one- ah! I love him to pieces but damn! I want to get her caniving code-putting-on tail back by leaving on every light in the house to waste the electricity, but unfortunately that only heats up things; if I want any relief from this sauna I have to sit around with all the windows open and all the lights off under a ceiling fan. I know I'm walking around in next-to-nothing from here on out and if she's worried about her man looking at my thighs when I come downstairs then she should do like I did and join the doggone YMCA.

    Ok, I realize I really got on a rant there, but if you were sitting here sweating off the effects of a cool shower within minutes you'd understand. But before I got sidetraced what I was going to say was that now that it's only me and Demon-girl in the house for the next couple of days, Ive been praticing counting down from 10 to gather myself in her presence. The really sad thing is the kids suffer through her ignorance the most. She's just trippin' and flippin' out...cuz she think her man like me. Ive given her my speech on how she's my sister and Id never steal her man or give him a chance,and its not just my problem, yada yada yada.However, I understand her kids father was very much trying to be with me and she found out about it and this was a major lead to their complete separation. Now dont get it twisted, I didnt let this happen. I fought to the doggone end.  Now when I'm her age, I certainly will be able to make a house payment on my own. I think she kind of is jealous of the fact that Im nearing the end of my college year and I will be able to provide financially in a way that she cant. However, she is my damn sista'...I got her'. Ima have her back if she would just stop trippin' over if her man is gonna start beatin the sheets when he goes home after he sees my legs or something. I can kinda understand where she coming from but why give me the cold shoulder like Im flaunting myself towards this man or something. Sorry but personally, I think he's not attractive at all and he's just tryna cling to my sister cuz she's nice and she's a cute girl. He knows her from that, but he doesnt know her' know her to me. Anyways, if she feels so disturbed maybe he needs to go then.

Im Surrounded By Idiots.  I wish I could stay gone because Race Week kicked off last night here (car racing) in this small country boon dock town an hour and a half south of Dallas area. I swear the city is like a whole new world compared to this ish. I mean the city does drain my nerves out too in a sense but its better socially over all ofcourse. Anyways, Thats when the redneck Nascar' fans descend upon your town you had better run for cover. The traffic, the noise, the public drunkenness, the hookers, the litter- eh, all of it is horrible. And I happen to live right near the Speedway...sigh so it is all but impossible to pull out of my neighborhood and onto a main thoroughfare. And me- lucky me- I got hit on by some drunkened redneck. He told me he always wanted him a black b*tch...Oh' that was the nite my sisters kids father punched him in his face and we sped outta there cuz a scene was forming. How utterly RIDICULOUS this whole "sport" is, and I don't even think its cute getting hit on by rowdy country white boys in too-tight jeans and big cowboy hats sounds like any fun or anything Id be interested in. (please) Ok, this heat has kept me up for two hours in the middle of the night sweating like a pig and watching random late-nite tv. I'm gonna go take (another) cold shower (I never take cold showers,sob) and finish getting together our things in preparation for my sons birthday party..


 Why are these archives tucked under here? Because...I finally decided to add them at the last minute...hehe.

Excerpts May I
Excerpts May II
I Could Try Counting Sheep
New Yawka...psh


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