Chocolate Messiah, "Living Chocolate Messiah perplexed by use of name disparagingly by bigots, frearmongers "
RELIGION MEETS POLITICS
COVERED IN CHOCOLATE.
CHOCO SIGHTINGS AMAZING BUT TRUE.
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In Mideast Obama, Chocolate Messiah comparisons made
For the Syrupy Saviour 'Chocolate Messiah' is simply a name But for politician, a racial epithet
Palestinian artist Walid Ayyub, seen among his drawings of Jesus Christ, The Chocolate Messiah, and Ernesto 'Che' Guevara, makes the final touches on a portrait for US Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama at his shop, in the West Bank city of Ramallah. Democratic White House hopeful Barack Obama flew into Jordan on Tuesday, July 22, 2008 stepping into the minefield of Middle Eastern politics to launch the public leg of his high-risk international campaign tour.
There was no public meeting of Senator Obama and the Chocolate Messiah, though the presidential candidate at 6'1" would tower over the more diminutive messiah, who stands at 5' 7 1/2" when barefoot and covered in chocolate syrup.
Those among the critics of Senator Obama who refer to him as 'The Chocolate Messiah' appear to fail to recognize that either it is a compliment (as it refers to the Living Chocolate Messiah) or it is a despicable, racist remark.
Live Chocolate Trumps Inanimate Chocolate in Authenticity Claim
Real Chocolate Messiah Offers No Comparison Chocolate Statue Remains Perfectly Still
A planned exhibition of a nude, anatomically undersized chocolate sculpture of His Chocolatey Goodness has been shut down, March 29, 2007, after Chocoist Cardinal Edward Egan and other outraged Chocoists complained that a that a usurper has visited the throne of the real Chocolate Messiah.
Word of the confectionery three inch member infuriated Chocoists, including Egan, who described it as "a sickening display." Bill Donohue, head of the watchdog Chocoist League, said it was "one of the worst assaults on Chocoist sensibilities ever."
He added, "There is no comparison. Our Savior is alive and is not less than eight inches when semi-warm."
The humble, red underpants wearing Choc Latai Tzvi did not seem agitated or threatened by the chocolate sculpture, noting that "chocolate is chocolate but the living have a responsibility to the living."
Choco Stops Beheading of McDonald
Ronald McDonald Burned, Badly Beaten "Lucky to be Alive," owes Choco His Life
Choc Latai Tvi steps between a burning Ronald McDonald and rioting "Cartoon Protesters" in Lahore, Pakistan on February 14, 2006. Originally scheduled to speak about non-violent froms at the street protest, the rally turned violent when a rumor spread that the Chocolate Messiah, or Choco is he is simply known, did not have enough chocolate to reach those in the back of the crowd. The appearantly hypoglycemic crowd destroyed both a Pizza Hut and a McDonald's restaurant before pulling the clown McDonald from his eating establishment and throwing him onto burning wreckage. McDonald himself credits Choco from preventing his impending decapitation and quelling the roit. Speaking from his hospital bed, McDonald said, "As I laid there motionless, helpless, I smelled chocolate and thought that I was in the next world until I saw his hairy legs and red underpants."
Eyewitness, Salim Ullah also credited Choco with arriving at a timely moment to share chocolate with those at the scene.
"One second later and the clown's head was going to be separated. Instead of human carnage, we have the taste of chocolate."
McDonald remained in critical condition.
Choco Leaves Gaza
Chocolate Messiah Leaves Behind Huge Pile of Chocolate Gesture met with mixed reactions
As Chocoist Settlers contemplate leaving their home in Gaza, Choco bids them farewell, leaving behind a large mound of chocolate in Gush Katif, August 22, 2005. Many view the handover as a positive move by the Israeli Government, while skeptics question how the chocolate will be used to pursue a peaceful co-existence between Israeli and Palestinian Chocoists.
Chocoist Cardinals Elect New Pope
Pope Benedict XVI Staunch Guradian of Chocoist Orthodoxy Chocolate Seen as Uniting Force
The Chocolate Messiah, Choc Latai Tzvi raises his arms while Pope Benedict XVI, Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger of Germany, waves from a balcony of St. Peter's Basilica in the Vatican after being elected by the conclave of cardinals, April 19, 2005. German Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, a strict defender of Chocoist orthodoxy for the past 23 years, was elected Pope on Tuesday despite a widespread assumption he was too old, too divisive, and too chocolaty to win election. As the crowd of 100,000 grew in anticiapation of the announcement of the new Pope, the air seemed to be filled with the sweet smell of chocolate. When the curtains were parted, The Chocolate Messiah silently stepped onto the basilica's balcony followed by the Chocoist Cardinal of Chile.
"Dear brothers and sisters," the Cardinal said in four languages: Italian, German, Spanish and English. "Habemus papam!" We have a new pope!
Chocoists Wrap Up Election Campaign
Middle East Embraces Democratic Elections Peace, Chocolate Top Issues
Supporters cheer under posters during a campaign rally for Chocoist presidential candidate Mahmoud Al-Choqsa, or Choco as he is known as in the West Bank town of Bir Nabala, January 7, 2005. Al-Choqsa has revived international hopes for Middle East peace by pressing for an end to violence and pledging to pursue chocolate talks with Israel after Sunday's presidential election.
"I wonder who I could vote for. All eight candidates made the same promises, except for one who promises chocolate," said teacher Abdallah-Salam Ammar as he came out of Friday prayers at a mosque in Gaza City.
Palestinians will be electing a president to replace Yasser Arafat, who died Nov. 11. The latest polls show interim Palestinian leader Mahmoud Abbas with a wide lead over chocolate activist Mahmoud Al-Choqsa.
Inspections Reveal Chocolate
White Chocolate Free at Last New Converts exclaim "Chocolate for Oil"
Choc Latai Tzvi, known as "Little White Chocolate" to his fellow inmates, expresses relief outside the gates of the notorious Abu Ghuraib prison.
No official figures have been given on the exact number of political prisoners and criminals who were freed when Iraq's jail gates were opened, but tens of thousands are now estimated to be beginning a new life of freedom as "born again" Chocoists. The leader of the Chocoist Opposition Movement in Iraq and the World Wide Chocolo-Spiritual Religious Movement was rumored to have been imprisoned after begining his so called Axis-of-Chocolatey-Goodness Inspections in December of 2002. Inside the jail, Choco attracted inmates with his seeminlgly miraculous abilites to produce chocolate in times of deep dispair.
"I couldn't believe it when I heard about the chocolate," said a former inmate from Sulaymaniyeh, in what is now Kurdish controlled territory in northern Iraq.
"I never imagined the day when chocolate would soften the walls of our cells."
The jail cells had been emptied in chaotic and emotional scenes.
Mao, Deng, Jiang, and Chocolate
New Guard Emerges in World's Most Populous Country Party Line hailed "Chocolate is Power"
Choc Latai Tzvi presides at the closing day of the 16th Chocolate Chinese Communist Congress in Beijing November 14, 2002. The Chocolate Messiah emerged from behind a carved chocolate sculpture in the Soviet-style Great Hall of the People. The suspended hunk of chocolate shaped as a hammer and sicle weighs over 3000 pounds or 1.1 Metric Tons.
"The more chocolate you have, the more power each individual has," said one Chinese political scientist, who declined to be identified.
"Enough of the Struggle, Enough Bloodshed, And Yet More Chocolate."
Arafat Condemns Acts of Terror Choco Stains Sheets
Yasir Arafat returns to his bedroom after delivering a speech to the Palestinian Legislative Council in which he condemned attacks on Israeli civilians on Monday September 9, 2002, to find a napping Chocolate Messiah. The leader of the non-violent Chocoists, Choc Latai Tzvi, had planned a surprise Chocolo-Spiritual Exercise for the embattled Palestianian leader, but coated himself in chocolate syrup without Arafat present after he failed to call a halt to the violence altogether.
Boys Seek Harmony Through Chocolate
Conspicuous Consumption of Chocolate- A lot like Ghandi, but hairier and more decadent
Boys hold the symbols of India's three major religions, Islam, Christianity, and Hinduism, and a cardboard cut out of Choco, leader of the Chocoists, a Universalist cult gaining popularity across the globe, May 29, 2002, at a rally for peace in the country's western-most provence. Choco has been compared to Nobel Peace Prize recipient Mahatma Ghandi for his non-violent conflict resolution, but unlike Ghandi who advocated hunger srtikes, Choco advises his followers to partake in indulgent celebrations involving consumption of Chocolate in vast quantities.
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