"Pee in my thee?" says ms McPhee"

(The last of the Gay Gorgons)

No pee in my tea", says Missy McPhee,
Adjusting her apron most elegantly
"It might be for some folks, with no sense of taste,
But my Darjeeling's precious - it's too good to waste.

"I had no idea what they did in our river
Before I arrived in this town.
Now that I think what it does to your liver -
No wonder my skin has turned brown!

So her Double Bay china is packed in its chest,
DJ's damask's been folded away,
"Though I speak for myself - I can't say for the rest-
But I think, in the end, things turn out for the best,
And I've taken a tip from the others round here,
(Though I really can't join them in 'having a beer')
And I've taken to Gorgon's and-forgive if I jest-
I've found that my life is quite gay!"

by Victor Barker