Calling cards were not only proper but they were expected of a Lady. They were given to friends and family often and on occassions. In bigger cities, at least once or twice a year they were given to aquaintances. Leaving cards for attending a tea party was usual. It was custom that a married woman leave one of her own calling cards and two of her husbands. One went to the Lady of the house. The other to her husband. A Lady was to always be kind and gracious to her guests. Even if one of them had called after being detained she was to accept them without question. Many occassions met with a calling after such events as: lunches, tea parties, wedding events, and any evening events. Altogether the calling card was a wonderful gesture to let others know that they were being considered in warm regards.

Mourning

During the period of mourning a Lady or Gentleman would respectfully stay away from parties and the enjoyment of social entertainment. Ladies would wear black crepe dresses for as long as they were in mourning. Sometimes these periods would last between 3 to 12 months. If a Lady or Gentleman did not honor the customs in regards to mourning of friends and family they were regarded of having no respect for their deceased loved ones. Upon reentering society after mourning a person would leave calling cards on all their family and friends. This was to inform them that their mourning was over.

Ladies, Gentleman and Etiquette

A Lady will not be rude or dress in an odd way as to attract attention or remarks. She will be kind to all people. She carries herself with dignity. She recognizes the gentleman first and gives a smile or a bow. The Gentleman always offers a Lady his arm when walking on the street. He gives the lady the inside of the sidewalk. 'Tis proper and common behavior. Loud laughter, staring at strangers, talking when others are reading or reading when others are talking, these were all examples of impolite and rude behavior. Spitting, smoking, chewing, or biting fingernails was definitely improper of a Lady or a Gentleman. Laughing or whispering in church was and still is considered irreverant. Respect for the elderly was a must and correcting one older than you, especially parents, was uncalled for. At home, when around the dinner table, it was customary to wait until everyone was at the table to begin eating dinner. A Gentleman had to maintain good etiquette as well. Swearing or talking loudly was impolite. He was never to scan a ladies dress or to make insolent remarks about her in any way. To lose one's temper or to become overly excited in conversation would be uncharacteristic of a Gentleman. He always remembered to raise his hat to a Lady and to her companion. Everything important and small was considered in exercising good etiquette.

People of different classes all exercised good etiquette. Books on etiquette were imported from Britain to America. Even small paperback versions were made so that all citizens had a chance to improve upon their etiquette. Ladies and Gentleman had separate books. There were even books for children. Exercising manners and practicing selflessness was good for the character and is still very much needed today.

Towne Victorian's
History With Charm
Webring




Sources