Most everyone of the Victorian Era found
enjoyment at parties. Some were small and some
were grand. In order for a party to
even be considered a Ball it's compliment had to
be well over 50 people. A large Ball consisted
of over one hundred people in attendance.
When a Ball was given by the Victorians
it was usually given with style. If one
could not afford such a party then they
most often did not give one. To give
a Ball was quite an event. The hostess
needed to make sure she had enough room
for her guests. She would only send as
many invitations as her home could entertain.
Invitations for such a Ball would be sent
out at least ten days before the event.
A quick response was needed to see how many
would be coming to the party. It would
have been considered rude not to respond. There
were many things that needed to be prepared.
Gowns needed to be made. Food and
beverages had to be bought. Help was hired
for extra work and very importantly musicians had
to be selected.
It was not at all important for guest
to show up on time. The hostess could
spend up to an hour receiving her guest.
Upon arriving, ladies with their husbands and unmarried
ladies with their escort were directed to the
cloak room. This room was for hanging the
guests' belongings such as coats, shawls, hats, umbrellas
and canes.
At the Ball it was unlike a Lady
to refuse the invitation of a gentleman to
dance. Of course, unless she had a prior invitation
to dance with someone else it was so permitted
and in no way would harm the gentleman's
good intentions. And if she must decline
such an invitation to dance the lady should
have a reasonable excuse to offer the gentleman.
Not to do so would be rude and unkind.
The proper way that a gentleman asked a
lady to dance would be to say, "Will you
give me the pleasure of dancing with you?"
The master of the home saw to it that
every lady got to dance, especially wallflowers.
He did so, inconspicuously and delicately
as to not injure their feelings.
While dancing, both lady and gentleman wore smiles.
Afterward the gentleman would walk the lady back
to her seat, thank her for the dance
and graciously bowed to her. However well the
dance went, just because the lady accepted his
kind invitation to dance did not entitle the
gentleman to a friendship after the ball.
When leaving the Ball a lady, if married,
left with her husband. If she was unmarried
she left with her escort or mother. After
walking the lady home he was not to
go in. He kindly said goodnight to her.
If rules of etiquette were followed then evenings
at the Ball would be a success. And
most often remembered.
More Ballroom Etiquette
A man escorting his wife only danced
the first sets with her.
Ladies were to be cared for, treated
first, to have have good seats,
and to have protection.
Unless a woman had already been
asked to dance by another,
she was not to decline the
invitation to dance with a gentleman.
While dancing, a gentleman was to
lead his lady partner ever so
lightly. The couple were not to sway
to the music only move from
the hips downward keeping the upper
body poised. His leading was to
compliment her gracefulness.
After enjoying a few sets of
dancing, ladies and gentlemen were
to leave the floor allowing others
to dance who had not. Besides,
it looked unseemingly for them to
be utterly overwhelmed by the experience
as if they had never been
to a Ball.
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