This Website Is
Authored By
Lana J. Hunt
Ladies and Gentlemen
Here we will talk about romance, marriage and love. We will discuss proper behavior between the ladies and gentlemen of the Victorian era and the etiquette of courtship. Envision long ago on a warm afternoon a gentleman caller with his lady friend. He would be careful to pay special attention to the proper etiquette of courtship as to make an impression on his lady. These rules applied with people of all classes and types.
 Most young girls were taught early about the rules of courtship and were prepared for marriage. It was the Victorian lady who trained her daughter how to conduct herself. The young lady was also trained in the rules of proper etiquette and courting. A young lady's ideal man might be a man who is quite prosperous or with great prospects in his future, he kept suitable friends and company, his demeanor was kind and charitable and he was to be a little older than she, but not too old. She knew the rules well to courting and so did her prospective gentleman caller.
Oftentimes, in courting, flirting would come into play and was permitted as long as it was decent and followed the guidelines of courting etiquette. Ladies often used their fans to convey a message of interest to a gentleman. She would use it, just the same, to show her disinterest, as well. Many gentlemen may call on a Lady at a party to be her escort. But she would only accept one. She would carefully weigh which gentleman met her quilifications the best and chose him by giving him one of her own personal cards. He was free to escort or walk her home but only if she was chaperoned and if it was not too late. Because to be out alone with a gentleman and at late hours would be a violation of the lady's cherished rules of etiquette. Rules she must follow to the very end. Until the day she is finally wed.
 Romantic letters were many and so were the responses. In the event that a suitor might propose to his lady he might find a kind refusal at the end of a note. Maybe her suitor was not financially stable. Or maybe there was as great age difference between them. Possibly the lady disliked the gentleman's company and acquaintances that may have been a hindrance to his business prospects.
 A gentleman knew that he had to maintain an honorable stance as to avoid any embarrassment to his lady friend. He kept friends who were of good character. He was ever mindful of the future, in which he would secure for his lady. It was complicated for a man of any social class. For the world was a playground of temptations and follies which could threaten his relationship, his prospects and his future.
 In the Nineteenth-Century if a lady were to receive a proposal for marriage, she had more freedom of expressing her acceptance or refusal than women of the generation before her. And as she may have had many offers for marriage she may have made as many refusals as she waited for that perfect suitor who could love her and take care of her.
 A Gentleman was prominent and proud yet expected to be courteous and gracious. He was not quick to anger and was quite controlled in temperment even when confronting a heated moment. He did not speak of himself unless asked nor did he speak slander against others. He had a fair demeanor and carried himself well for all his company. His thoughts were directed at bringing comfort to anyone in his home even if it meant his own comfort should be neglected. He never misunderstood one's words as insults. Like his counterpart, the Lady, he was a forgiving person being careful not to mention what trangressions had passed.
 Nonetheless, the rules of courtship were followed by both lady and gentleman. Their engagement was short lived as Victorians wasted no time on long engagements. After all, the whole life of a Victorian lady was devoted to preparing her for that wedding day and for the rest of her life.
 Towne Victorian's
History With Charm
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