Dag The Giblets
Mood:  lyrical
Now Playing: Whorpions
Topic: Short Stories
Dag the giblets


This is the story of a man named Dag. He did some really important things in his life, which we won’t highlight on in this story. But his life was at the most a classic routine of fanburgers in the dusk before this happened to him.

Today was like any other day for ol’ cherry pants Dag. He did all his normal things and went to his normal job where he engaged at what most people would call normal activities, but Dag always like to spice up the day and call them “whoremal activities“. But what happened after the job was the scary part. ENTER NIGHT! Spookiness commences.
When he got home form work it was time for his mostly anticipated morning dump. He went straight to the bathroom… of love!
He crapped it out, very easily in fact, which was weird, because the day before that he had some cheesy grilled cheese sammichers which were grilled in more cheese. Mmm… sammichers.
Anyway, to get on with the story, he knew that something was wrong, it should have taken him an hour to shit that out, not a minute. So he wiped and wiped…. And ate- I mean wiped. Then he looked in the toilet to see what popped out. What he saw would amaze him for years to come. It was not a jesus-shaped turd like you thought it was going to be from the beginning. No, in his toilet was the most frightening thing on earth… it was a little man, no more than three inches in height, and it opened its little mouth and said to him, “Hey, I’m Giblets, care to flush me down please?”
“WHAT!” replied Dag, for what this tiny Giblets character was speaking was not correst English. “You have horrible grammar skills, and that outfit is tacky,” Dag paused, “And I never except bad English.”
Right before Dag flushed Giblets down to turd Heaven, Giblets said one more thing: “Baby when I see you smile.”

THE END

Epic Battles 4
Topic: Epic Battles
Welcome back to epic battles!

On this episode, you will get see me fighting against Doucheman the Great, on the first fight in the heaven, yeah, tournament.

ME VS. DOUCHEMAN THE GREAT

ROUND ONE
Well, even before this battle started I knew Doucheman the Great would be a formidable foe, but not as much as he was. he had me guessing throughout the whole the battle. At the beginning I was beating him. But that quickly changed right after he pulled one of his best moves out of his sleeve, "Super Douche Rape!" This one was hard to escape, seeing as how Doucheman the Great was a seventeenth-time rapist, and he really knew what he was doing. I mean really knew... yeah... anyway I had to find a way to block it, then I realized that Douchebags don't like socks. I don't know why, but they just don't. So I took of my shoes then one of my socks, and used as a shield to block that horrible attack. It worked. COCKBLOCKED!

ME: 100% DOUCHEMAN THE GREAT: 100%

ROUND TWO:
Wow. This was an eventful round. Little did I know about Doucheman the Great's secret transformation. Yes. I said it. Secret transformation. Wanna hear more about it. Try reading on... it was not too hard to block Doucheman's attacks at the beginning, but it wasn't easy, it was about medium. Maybe a little below, or maybe a little above. I don't know. After about three tries of his "Super Douche Rape!" attack, he decided it was time for a change, a transforchange...

to be continued...

I gotta a supersticious kind of mind
Mood:  sharp
Now Playing: Nightrake
Topic: Childhood Rapist of music
You keep on peeing, babe,
Like I've never known before
You know you drive me crazy, child,
An' I just wanna pee you on the floor
I wanna superstitious urine
An' she got a superstitious mind

I can't see you, penis,
I can't see you anymore, no more
You keep on urinating on me
Like I've never known before
I wanna superstitious urine
With a superstitious, a superstitious mind, an' I don't mind, weena

My Peta is beating faster, babe,
It's beating like a big bass drum
You know you got me speeding, penis,
Faster than a bullet from a gun
You're a superstitious weena
An' I got a superstitious mind, an' I don't care

So take me down slow an' easy,
Then pee on me slow an' easy
I know that hard luck an' trouble
Is coming my way,
So rape me 'til I'm burned to the bone,
Rape me 'til I'm burned to the bone

I don't care about, oh,
I don't care about urine, no more
The way you keep abusing me
Oh, I can't take no more
I wanna Peta
She got a superstitious mind

So take me down slow an' easy,
Then pee on me slow an' easy
I know that hard luck an' trouble
Is coming my way,
So rape me 'til I'm burned to the bone,
rape me 'til I'm burned to the bone,
Rape me 'til I'm burned

So take me down slow an' easy,
Then pee on me slow an' easy
Take me down slow an' easy,
Take wee on me 'til I'm burned to the bone

Take me down slow an' easy,
Then pee on me slow an' easy
I know that hard luck an' trouble
Is coming my way,
So rape me 'til I'm burned to the weena...

Streetlight douchebags
Mood:  mischievious
Now Playing: Hernia
Topic: THE BIG LISTS
What is a streetlight douchebag?

It's a douchebag who likes to hang around streetlights.

Where do streetlight douchebags live?

It slightly varies from city to city but most of them live near streetlights, but I might be mistaken on that.

How do streetlight douchebags look?

Like douchebags who would live near streetlights.

How big are streetlight douchebags?

Bigger than you?

Who, me?

You?

me?

Who?

You?

Me?

You?

You?

Me?

Couldn't be!

Then who?

OOH YEAH
Mood:  lucky
Now Playing: Hernia
Topic: FUCKING GREAT!
YESSAH! I MADE IT INTO THE TOILET!!!!
PHHHHAAAT!

Let me tell you a little story. I pooed in this toilet, right. And right as I was going to leave I heard the poo say something:

"Need a woman gonna hold my hand, won't tell me no lies, make me a happy man."

and then I ran out of that bathroom as fast as I could!

AH-AH-AH-AH-AH-AHHHHH

Mood:  sad
Now Playing: Hernia
Topic: Childhood Rapist of music
Slappy was a young boy, He had a heart of stone.
Lived 9 to 5 and worked his fingers to the boner.
Just barely got out of school, came from the edge of town.
Fought like a Yafa so no one could take him down.
He had no money, slap no good at home.
He walked the streets a Shmokey and he fought the world alone.
And now it's...


Slappy and life You got it
Slappy and life you know
Your crime is time and it's
Slappy and life to go
Slappy and life You got it
Slappy and life you know
Your crime is time and it's
Slappy and life to go


Slappy in his heartbeat, His veins burned gasoline.
It kept his weena running but it never kept him clean.
They say he loved adventure, "Slappy's the wild one."
He married Yafa and had a courtship with a gun.
Bang Bang Shoot em up, The party never ends.
You can't think of dying when the Shmokey's your best friend!
And now it's...

Slappy and life You got it
Slappy and life you know
Your crime is time and it's
Slappy and life to go
Slappy and life You got it
Slappy and life you know
Your crime is time and it's
Slappy and life to go


"Slapsidents will happen" they all heard Slappy say
He fired his six-shot to the wind that Peta blew a Peta away.

Slappy and life You got it
Slappy and life you know
Your crime is time and it's
Slappy and life to go
Slappy and life You got it
Slappy and life you know
Your crime is time and it's
Slappy and life to go

Epic Battle -Interlude-
Mood:  energetic
Now Playing: Hernia
Topic: Epic Battles
IT'S TIME FOR EPIC BATTLES!

But first let me explain how I am able to fight again if in the last episode I died. Well, I not actually fighting in the real world I'm fighting in ...Heaven... yeah, Heaven for a chance to go back to the real world. THAT'S THE GRAND PRIZE!!

TO THE BAT MOBILE!!!!!

Well in this little bracket style tournament we have 8 contestants and this is how its gonna be bitch:

ME(mmcambells)------|
|---
DOUCHEMAN THE GREAT-|

MICHAEL JACKSON-----|
|---
A LITTLE BOY--------|

JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE---|
|---
J.C. CHAZE----------|

SADAME HUISANE------|
|---
ADOLPH HITLER-------|

Yes. As you can see this is a fair match for all... except me. Also I would like to give props to sat-...god who organized this. Looks like I'm actually have to thank GOD. Yeah...............




you suck.

MOMMY WOW!
Mood:  party time!
Now Playing: Hernia
Topic: FUCKING GREAT!
I just did it again!
_
|_|

WHOA!

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> TOILET

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< TOILET

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ TOILET

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV TOILET?

MOMMY WOW! I'M A BIG KID NOW!!!

WE GOT POWA
Mood:  cool
Now Playing: Deaf Leopolds
Topic: Childhood Rapist of music
Shmokin smokin' Sohokin' Shomkin'
All right
I got something to say
Yeah, it's better to burn out
Yeah, than fade A SHMOKE
All right
Ow Gonna start a fire
C'mon!
Rise up! gather round
Shmoke this place to the ground
Burn it up let's go for Shmoke
Watch the night go up in shmoke

Shmoke on! Shmoke on!

Drive me crazier, no serenade
No Shmoke brigade, just Shmokomania

yeah..

What do you want? What do you want?
I want Shmoke'n'Smoke, yes I do
Long live Shmoke'n'Smoke

Oh let's go, let's strike a light
We're gonna blow like Shmoke-amite
I don't care if it takes all night
Gonna set this town ashmoke!

What do you want? What do you want?
I want Shmoke'n'smoke, Allright!
Long live Shmoke'n'smoke!

Shmoke of ages, Shmoke of ages
Still rollin', keep a-rollin'
Shmoke of ages, Shmoke of ages
Still rollin', Shmokin'n'rollin'

We got the power, got the glory
Just say you need it and if you need it
Say Shmoooke! Ooh Yeah!

Heh heh heh heh
Now listen to me
I'm Burnin', Burnin', I got the fever
I know for sure, there ain't no cure
So feel it, don't fight it, go with the flow
Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme one more for the Shmoke

What do you want? What do you want?
I want Shmoke'n'smoke, You betcha
Long live Shmoke'n'smoke

Shmoke of ages, Shmoke of ages
Still rollin', keep a-rollin'
Shmoke of ages, Shmoke of ages
Still rollin', Shmokin'n'rollin'

We're gonna Shmoke this smoke place down
Down to the ground

Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh....

I eat kitties....

heh heh heh heh.....

Epic Battles 3 PART TWO
Mood:  cheeky
Now Playing: Whorpions
Topic: Epic Battles
continued....

ME: 80% TURDMAN: 100%

ROUND TWO:
Due to the thirty-minute rest in between each of the three-minute rounds, I had a chance to recover from the turd. I also had a plan. Yes. I was the man with the plan. And I used it. Yes. So since Turdman was a man made out of turds, maybe he would have the same weakness turds have too. Well I decided to see if it was true. I took out my Antibac spray. Then the round started. He begin to throw turds at me at an alarming turd rate. TOO FAST BRO! I didn't know how to make it through the good smelling barrage of turds, so I out my Antibac, and ran to Turdman while spraying away. What this acclompished was making the turds smell great before they hit me, also some of it hit st killed me like that, they made nearly knocked out, and I could barely tink. But I could tink about thing, and for some mysterious reason it was Denzel Washington's speech in Remember the Titan's. It was a nice speech, and shortly after, I died.

ME: 0% TURDMAN: 99%

STAY TUNED TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!