Chapter VII: Love Songs

By Aries

Completed: 4/26/08

Alex shuffled into the apartment after his walk. Frowning at the box on the coffee table, he was about to call to Peter, when his brother thumped in from the kitchen, carrying a bottle of water.

"Hey! How was your walk?"

"Fine." Alex nodded at the box. "What’s that?"

"It’s for you."

"Me?"

Peter smiled. "Yep."

Alex walked into the living room and lowered himself to the sofa before turning the box so that the label was facing him. The frown deepened as he began to pull at the tape.

"You want me to leave the room," Peter offered, "in case it’s something..." He waggled his eyebrows at Alex. "...personal?"

Alex scowled at the older man. "Asshole."

Peter shrugged and unscrewed the cap on the bottle. He watched Alex open the box and smiled again as the other man pulled a handful of CDs out of the packing.

"He actually did it."

Did what?" Peter took a long swallow and dropped down beside his brother.

"Sent me some music."

"Yeah? What kind?"

"I don’t know." Alex read the labels. "We were talking one day, and he asked me what I liked to listen to. When I told him that I didn’t really listen to much music except for what you might be playing, he said he’d burn me some CDs. I didn’t give it much thought after that, and I didn’t think that he had given it any."

Peter took the discs from Alex and looked at the labels. He let out a hearty laugh and glanced at Alex, eyes twinkling with amusement.

"Most of these are love songs!"

"You’re full of shit."

"Uh uh! Look. Here’s your first clue. See all the songs with the word love in the title?" Peter gave the younger man a wide-eyed stare. "And these... Look What You’ve Done to Me, Chasing Cars, Biggest Part of Me, Just Don’t Wanna Be Lonely... they’re love songs." He laid his head on Alex’s shoulder and grinned up at him. "He loves you."

Alex snatched the disks back and shuffled through them slowly.

"Shut up, Peter."

"He does, Alex. Whether he admits it or not... Has he admitted it yet?"

"None of your damn business."

"Oh, come on! You think I won’t find out sooner or later?"

He was right about that. Alex sighed, lightly fingering the plastic cover on the top CD.

"He’s... admitted to stuff."

"What stuff?"

"Stuff I’d never thought possible." His eyes took on a distant, hazy appearance. "He... he told me he wanted to walk with me... hold my hand..." He smiled softly. "Go trick or treating."

Peter looked at Alex like he was nuts.

"...He said... he said I was beautiful."

"Oh, God, it must be love."

"He’ll never love me. I believe he wants to. I think he thinks he should."

"Now, why would you say that?"

"He can’t love me, Peter. It’s not possible. But it’s okay. He cares about me, he wants me, and that’s more than I could ever have hoped for. I’m happy with that."

"God, you’re a nut case." Peter cocked his head, studying the other man. "You’ve told him, though, how you feel, haven’t you?"

Alex said nothing.

"Haven’t you?"

Green eyes lowered to the discs.

"He made me."

"He made you." Peter gave him a devilish grin and patted him on his head. "Sure, kid."

"Don’t you have something else to do?"

"Yeah, I do. I’m going to go outside for a couple of hours, sit by the pool with a book, and get some sun. Maybe you can listen to a couple of those discs while I’m gone." Peter took them from Alex, shuffled them around then handed them back. "Listen to the one on top then work your way down." He chuckled and rose to his feet. Grabbing his book and water, he exited the apartment, leaving Alex alone with his gift.

Alex stared down at the plastic cases for a moment then set the stack down and looked at the box. It didn’t occur to him to search for a possible note until now. He drew a deep breath and plunged his hand into the packing chips and swirled it around. He quickly came into contact with what felt like an envelope. Pulling it out, he sucked his lower lip into his mouth. Nothing was written on the outside, but it was sealed with a green alien head sticker. Laughing softly, Alex carefully pulled the flap up and pulled out the single folded page. Something fluttered out from the middle and landed upside down on the floor. He picked it up and flipped it over, and his breath caught in his throat.

A picture of Fox. Not exactly in profile, yet, not head on, either. He might have been sitting on the sofa in his apartment, but the shot was taken from about mid chest up, so it was hard to tell. It appeared as if he had just come in after a long day at work, from the look of it. White shirt, a few buttons and his tie undone, heavy, five o’clock shadow. He was leaning back slightly with his arm resting on the back of the sofa, bent at the elbow, and his fingers pressed to his forehead. The sultry expression spoke volumes, and Alex trembled in answer.

"Jeeesus." The word fell in a soft croak from his lips. He stared, dumbstruck, for a while longer, then he forced himself to put the picture down and read the note.

Alex rubbed his hand over his face then took the top disc and loaded it into the player. He reclaimed his seat and lifted what had immediately become his most precious possession, and looked into the eyes that seemed to be staring directly at him. The words of the first song began to seep into his consciousness, and his eyes drifted shut as he listened intently to them...

"Goodnight, Mulder."

"Night, Scully."

"I know this is going to be a really stupid question, but I’ll ask anyway. Got any plans tonight?"

Fox smirked at his partner from the doorway of their office.

"Guess."

Scully nodded and continued to gather her things.

"He’s got his biopsy tomorrow morning, so I want to talk to him early so he can get enough sleep."

"Ah. Did he get the package yet?"

"Should’ve got there today."

"And no phone call yet?"

"No."

"He’s probably too busy drooling over that picture."

Fox grimaced at Scully. "He probably can’t believe how hokey an idea it was."

"Please, Mulder. He’s probably going to go to sleep with it under his pillow."

"Yeah. Right." He glanced at his watch. "I gotta get out of here before the beltway gets too bad. See you tomorrow."

Four-thirty, and the beltway was already a mess. Fox sat in stop-and-go traffic for more than twenty minutes before it started moving a little more smoothly. By the time he made it to his apartment, he realized he was starving. He changed, called for a pizza, and checked his watch. He’d wait for the pizza, eat, and if Alex hadn’t called by then, he’d give him a ring.

It had been just about a week since Alex had admitted that he loved Fox, and they’d spoken every night since then. The conversations had been lengthy, informative, even amusing. No arguments had developed, and each had ended with a sweet wish for a good night. Fox couldn’t have been happier with the way things were progressing. He spoke to Samantha each night afterward, filling her in on the events of the day, even though he’d received no more texts or any other form of communication from her.

The pizza arrived half an hour later, and Fox ate with gusto, downing five slices before his phone rang. He fumbled for the handset, cursing as it fell to the floor. He stretched across the couch and snatched it up, smiling when he saw the displayed name.

"Hey," he said breathlessly as he flipped onto his back and made himself comfortable.

"Hey. How was your day?"

"Long, like they’ve all been the past several days. How was yours?"

"Full of music."

One corner of Fox’s mouth slanted upward.

"Ah. Got ‘em, huh?"

"Yeah. Thank you. I really did think you’d probably forgotten about it."

"Have you listened to any of them yet?"

"Yeah. Three so far. I... like them... very much. And I like the picture."

"You don’t think it’s corny?"

"Corny. Of course not. I believe my wiseass brother’s remark was, it’s so hot, he’d do you."

Fox chuckled softly. "I don’t think Scully’d appreciate that."

"Mmm... he’s right, though. It is hot."

"Yeah?"

"God, yeah."

Fox fell silent, not knowing how to respond to that.

"Thank Scully for me."

"So I can hear about how she was right?"

Alex smiled at the comment then asked what Scully did with the rest of the pictures.

"I... I don’t know. She may have deleted them off her phone."

"I would like to have seen them. Maybe I’ll call and ask her to send them to my email address if she’s still got them."

"What, one of me isn’t enough?"

"...Not if I can have seven more."

"Okay. Then, I want pictures of you."

"Last picture taken of me was probably for my Bureau ID."

"And I don’t suppose you’d ask Peter to take a few."

"Hell no. He’d harass me about it for the rest of my days."

"Okay, but I don’t want to hear any shit from you when you get here and find me armed with a camera and eight rolls of film."

"Oh, God."

"I’m not kidding."

"I know you’re not. But Mulder, I really don’t think I’m very photogenic."

"How would you know, if you haven’t had a picture taken in fifteen years or so?"

"I don’t know. I just don’t think I am."

"Okay. We’ll see. Change of subject... your biopsy is at eight, right?"

"Yeah."

"So, that means you should be home by what... four or so?"

"Probably."

"’Kay. While you’re lying there doing nothing for all those hours, call me if you can, okay? If not, just ask Peter to call me after it’s over, just so I know everything is all right."

"Okay."

They talked for almost two hours then said goodnight. Alex turned in early, listening to the remaining CDs. He’d placed Fox’s picture on the table by his bed, propping it up against the lamp, and he lay on his side, staring at it until he fell asleep.

"Mr. Tate?"

Peter rose from his seat by the window and waited for the nurse to approach.

"He’s all done. You can go sit with him as soon as he gets moved to his room. Should be about twenty minutes or so, okay?"

"Okay, thanks."

"No problem. I’ll come and get you in a little while."

The nurse left, and Peter pulled out his phone.

"Crap."

He hobbled out into the courtyard to get better service, then he called Fox.

"...Mulder."

"Hey, Mulder. It’s Peter. I didn’t wake you, did I?"

"Hi, Pete. No, I actually just got in from a run. How is he?"

"The nurse just came out to tell me I could go see him as soon as they moved him to a room. Should be about twenty minutes or so. I’m sure he’ll call you as soon as he can. He’ll need something to keep his mind off the fact that he’s gotta lie still for all that time."

"Well, tell him to behave himself, and I’ll be waiting to hear from him."

"Will do."

"Thanks for calling, Peter."

"No problem. Have a good one, Mulder. Tell Dana I’ll call her later."

"I will. Bye." Fox hung up and, smiling, he stripped off his sweat shirt as he headed for the bathroom.

Alex lay flat on his back in the recovery room with little else to do but stare at the ceiling. Slowly, he drummed his fingers on the mattress and sighed heavily.

This frigging sucked. Six hours with nothing to do but lie still. Well... maybe they’d let him use the phone. Then, at least he could call Mulder and talk to him for a while...

"How’re you feeling?"

Green eyes shifted to the nurse, who’d just walked in to check the small sandbag that was placed over the incision in his groin to keep it closed.

"A little uncomfortable. They usually raise my head a little bit," Alex said to the woman.

"I can do that for you," the nurse answered and raised the head of the bed to a slight incline. "Better?"

"Yeah. Thanks."

"No problem. We’ll be taking you to a room in a little while, then your brother can join you. If you need anything before then, press the button, okay?"

Alex nodded and watched her leave. Seconds later, there was someone else at the door. He stared for a moment, willing the image to disappear, but instead, it spoke and moved into the room.

"Hello, Alex. How are you feeling?"

"What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Is that any way to speak to your father, when he’s come all this way to see you?"

"Go to hell."

Spender shook his head, clucking softly. "Now, now, behave yourself."

"What do you want?"

"I told you," the older man said amiably. "To see how you were."

"You’ve seen. Now, get the hell out of my sight."

"In a moment. I thought we could chat first."

Alex turned his head.

"Hmm. Well, I’ll get right down to it, I suppose, since you don’t appear to be in the mood for small talk. It’s my understanding that you and Agent Mulder have become quite smitten with each other."

Eyes blazing with hatred shifted in the Smoker’s direction, but Alex said nothing.

"I never would have imagined that you swung that way. Peter, maybe, but..."

"Neither Peter’s life nor mine is any of your fucking business," Alex spat.

"Alex, how can you say that? You’re my boys. You don’t think I have an interest in your lives?"

"I’m sure you do. None of it fatherly."

"Quite the contrary." Spender cocked his head and studied Alex. "I also understand that Peter and Agent Scully are somewhat of an item."

Alex didn’t ask how he knew any of this. The gnarled old bastard knew everything.

"Also very surprising. Pleasantly so." He smiled. "Imagine the children they could have. Good looking, bright..."

Alex glared, giving off as much attitude as he could while lying helpless in a hospital bed, wearing nothing but a flimsy gown.

"Scully can’t have kids. Or have you forgotten?"

Spender gave him a mildly surprised look.

"Can’t have children? Hmm. I do believe you’re wrong about that, Alex. The lovely Agent Scully can have all the children she likes."

"You and Agent Mulder on the other hand... while you’re two highly intelligent, good looking men, what benefit is there in your pairing? I mean, grandchildren from Peter and Miss Scully would be very nice, but grandchildren from you and the right woman would be quite extraordinary."

"Saddling a child with a grandfather like you would be the ultimate in child abuse," Alex hissed. "Forget it."

"Well... that aside, this little courtship of yours and Agent Mulder’s simply can’t continue, Alex."

The little change in his tone caught Alex’s attention, and some of the blatant loathing gave way to uneasiness.

"Fuck you."

"My willful, rebellious son. Don’t you understand? My concern is for you. Besides never being able to have children of your own if you stay in this relationship, it’s risky. Agent Mulder has a very dangerous job. What if he were to be injured... or worse? I don’t want to see you heartbroken."

Alex struggled to keep his breaths even.

"I understand you and your brother are planning a little vacation soon. You may want to consider staying behind. You may prove to be too great a distraction for Agent Mulder, and you know the dire consequences distraction can cause for a man in his line of work."

Alex’s head was spinning. The fucker was issuing a threat, that much was very clear, and he didn’t know what to do. He wanted to jump out of his bed and beat Spender until he was dead. That being an impossibility, at least right now, he remained where he was, trying to keep his trembling in check, and tossed out a threat of his own.

"If anything happens to him... if he so much as catches cold, you won’t live long enough to see the next day, I promise you."

"You’re not exactly in the kind of shape to be making those types of promises," Spender wheezed, then pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket as he strolled toward the door. He turned and gave Alex a smug little smile. "...Are you? Tell your brother I said hello and to have a good trip."

Once he was gone, Alex let himself really react. Eyes closed, he laid his head back against the pillow and began to take deep, sobbing breaths.

He knew it, he just... he should have stuck to his guns. He shouldn’t have let Fox in. Oh, Christ, he shouldn’t have told him that he loved him. Now what the hell was he going to do?

The nurse returned some five minutes later, and the smile fell from her face when she observed the pale face and erratic respiration.

"Mr. Krycek? What is it?" She rushed to the bed and pressed her fingers to Alex’s wrist. "Tell me what you’re feeling."

"Nothing," Alex whispered. "I’m all right, I’m... I’ll be okay."

"Your pulse is racing, hon." She fastened the blood pressure cuff on him and took the readings, frowning deeply. "I’m going to go get the doctor," she said as she removed the cuff. Before Alex could object, she was bustling from the room. What seemed like seconds later, she was back, followed by his doctor and another nurse.

"When did you start feeling like this?" The doctor asked, listening to his heart.

"Just a few minutes ago. I’m okay now. I’m..."

"I’ll tell you when you’re okay," the doctor said, shoving a thermometer into his mouth and barking orders to one of the nurses, who hurried from the room. The thermometer beeped, and Alex began protesting the moment it was removed from his mouth.

"Leave me alone. I’m all right; just leave me alone!"

"Temp is normal. Pulse is still fast, though."

Alex cursed as the cuff was re-attached, and his blood pressure was checked for the second time. While that was happening, the nurse who’d left came back in with an EKG machine.

"All right, Alex, settle down. We’re going to hook you up and see if we can’t figure out what’s going on."

Why couldn’t this asshole see that they were just making things worse?

"Doctor, his brother is in the waiting room. Maybe he can help calm him down."

"Go get him."

Alex closed his eyes and let out a loud sigh. Maybe Peter could help.

Not much time passed before Peter followed the nurse in, his face tight with concern.

"What’s going on?"

"Peter, get this circus out of here. Please."

Peter looked from his brother to the doctor.

"His blood pressure is one sixty over one ten. He’s flushed, his respiration is uneven, he’s very agitated, and we don’t know why yet."

"Alex... kid, come on. Let them do what they have to, to find out what’s wrong."

"Nothing’s wrong!"

"Then why are you so worked up?"

No answer from Alex.

"Alex, listen," the doctor said. "Let us do this EKG, all right? If it’s okay, we’ll hook you up to a monitor and leave you alone for a little while... give you a chance to settle down before proceeding. But if I find anything I don’t like, we do a thorough exam immediately. That’s the deal, and there’s no room for bargaining."

"Alex, please," Peter begged, fear more than evident in his voice.

Alex relented, and the test was done. No abnormalities were found, and the doctor kept his promise, leaving the two men alone for a while.

Breathing a little easier, Peter pulled up a chair and sat down. He studied his brother’s face, trying to read the troubled expression.

"Alex... what’s wrong? You were fine before the procedure."

"...He was here."

"He..." Peter’s eyes widened as he put two and two together. "I didn’t see him... What the hell did he want?"

"To threaten me."

"Threaten... How?"

"He made some... comments."

"About what?"

"All of us. You and Scully... me and Mulder."

Peter frowned and cocked his head. Alex went on.

"He was uh... he was actually sort of pleased about you and Scully. He didn’t start with the thinly veiled threats until he got to me and Mulder. Can’t give him any uber-grandchildren with a man."

"Oh, Jeez," Peter sighed. "And that’s what’s got you so worked up?"

Alex pressed the heel of his hand to his forehead and took a stuttering breath.

"He scared you that much?"

No answer.

"I’m going to call Mulder."

"No."

"No? What d’you mean, no? He should know what the hell’s..."

"No, okay? Don’t. Call him."

"Alex, I have to! Or you do. You know he’s waiting to hear that you’re okay."

"I’ll talk to him later."

"Later. Kid, if he doesn’t hear something in the next hour, probably, he’s going to call me."

"Don’t answer."

"Yeah. Good. Then he’ll be on the next flight out here."

Alex opened his mouth and drew in a deep breath.

"Tell me he won’t," Peter said and sat forward in his chair, waiting.

Alex’s hand traveled upward and clenched in his hair.

"I don’t... I don’t know what to do. I can’t let anything happen to him, Peter, I... I can’t."

"And how do you think you’re going to stop it, if that really is the old man’s intention?"

"He doesn’t want me to see Mulder."

"He told you that?"

"Yes."

"And so, you’re not going to?"

"I don’t have a choice."

Peter leaned back in his seat and looked up to the ceiling.

"Christ. Alex... Mulder is not going to sit still for this. I mean... you know that, right?"

"He’ll have to."

"Oh yeah? And why will he have to?"

Alex stared at nothing. "He won’t have a choice."

Fox checked his watch for the umpteenth time. It had been over two and a half hours since he’d spoken to Peter. He should have seen Alex by now, so why wasn’t someone calling him?

Almost the second he finished his thought, his cell phone rang.

"Mulder."

"Mulder, it’s... it’s me."

Something was wrong.

"Alex? Are you all right? You don’t sound well."

"I’m uh... I’m a little tired."

Fox frowned. "But that’s not all, is it?"

"I just... I called s-so you wouldn’t worry. I’m fine. I’ll... I’ll call you when I get home later, and we can... talk then... all right?"

"Alex..."

"I’m really tired," Alex said quickly. "I’d just like to try and sleep a little. I’ll call you later."

Fox sat gripping the edge of his desk so hard, his fingers were turning white. "All right," he said softly. "I’ll wait to hear from you."

From her desk, Scully watched her partner disconnect and stare down at his desk. She cursed to herself then rose and walked over to the chair in front of his desk, dropping into it.

"Okay, what was that all about?"

"I don’t know," Fox rasped. "Something’s wrong, though. I can hear it in his voice."

"Call Peter. See what he knows."

Fox nodded and followed his partner’s direction. Peter picked up on the fourth ring.

"Pete... it’s Mulder. Peter, what’s going on?"

Peter looked up at Alex then away.

"Hey, Mulder. Alex is okay. Everything went fine. He’s just really tired, and uh, y-you know, he’s trying to get a little rest."

"What did he do, Peter, hand the script to you when your phone rang? I want to know what’s wrong, and I want to know now, or so help me, I’ll take the first flight I can get out there."

"Oh, yeah, yeah. Don’t you worry. He’s fine."

"What the hell are you... You’re with him."

"Absolutely."

"Can you leave the room so we can talk?"

"Yeah, at some point he’ll call you. Okay, then. Take it easy, Mulder... bye."

Peter hung up and reluctantly brought his attention to his brother’s glazed eyes.

"He’s worried," he said, trying not to sound like he was hiding something. "You didn’t think he wasn’t going to call and check with me after that abrupt conversation with you?"

Alex said nothing. Peter sighed softly, rubbing his forehead. He sat in silence for a while then touched his brother’s hand.

"Why don’t you try and get a little rest? I’m going to take a walk... see if I can locate a cup of coffee... or twelve, then I’ll be back."

"Don’t call him, Peter."

"Alex, he’s freaked. You can’t let him walk around all day in that state."

"Peter, please. Don’t."

"Fine. Fine, I won’t call him." Peter lifted himself to his feet. "But I am going to get that coffee. You’ll be okay for a while?"

"...Yeah."

Peter studied the younger man for a moment, his heart breaking at the despondent look in his eyes, then he sighed again and left the room. Once down the hall, he took his phone out of his pocket.

"Sorry, kid," he mumbled as he started pressing buttons. "But I never promised I wouldn’t text him."

In Washington, Fox’s phone buzzed. He snatched it off the top of his desk and read the incoming message.

"What is it?" Scully asked, setting down the file she was perusing.

"Peter. He wants me to call him." Quickly, he hit the number, and Peter answered on the first ring.

"Hey. I had to text you, because I promised Alex I wouldn’t call. Mulder, we got a problem."

"I figured that. What is it?"

"Alex had a visit today from father of the year."

The wheels started turning. "What did he want?"

"To cause trouble, of course. Mulder, he knows."

"Knows..."

"About Dana and me... Alex and you."

"...So, what kind of trouble is he causing?"

"Apparently, he thinks it’s just peachy that Dana and I getting along so well, but he’s not overly thrilled about Alex having a relationship with you. You know... being that you’re both men, he’s got zero chance for any grandchildren, and that’s not cool with him."

"You gotta be kidding me." Fox didn’t tell him about Scully’s inability to have children.

"Wish I was. But he made some threats."

"What kinds of threats?"

"Threats that Alex is taking very seriously."

"Aaaand, so, what?"

"Alex is going to tell you he isn’t coming with me to Washington."

"Bullshit!" Fox shouted, startling Scully almost off her chair. "He is not going to do this shit to us!"

"Jesus, Mulder, keep it down!" Scully got up and checked to make sure the door was closed. "What are you yelling about?"

"I knew you’d feel that way," Peter said. "But he’s scared to death that the old bastard is going to do something to you... Do you know? Do you really know how much he loves you? If you were hurt in any way, he’d wither and die. I don’t mean to sound so dramatic, but I need to make sure that you know."

Fox closed his eyes. "...So, what do I do? I can’t just sit back and let this happen, you know that."

Scully folded her arms across her chest, trying to determine from Fox’s end of the conversation what was going on.

"I don’t know what you’re going to do," Peter answered. "What I do know is, this has got my brother worked into one hell of a state, right now. He needs you to be safe. If the only way to insure that is to never see or talk to you again, rest assured, Mulder, that’s what he’ll do. Even at the risk of his own emotional and physical destruction."

"I’m not going to let this end," Fox said, sounding just a little bit desperate. "I’m not... not before it even really begins."

"Well, you’d better come up with something damn good," Peter advised. "Because you’re going to need to if you want to convince Alex that it’ll be safe for you to be with him. I gotta get back before he starts getting suspicious."

"All right. Thanks, Peter."

Fox hung up and turned away from his desk, bending over at the waist. Scully watched for a moment then called his name.

"What?" he asked, still bent over in his chair.

"What is going on?"

"I’m going to kill that wrinkled old motherfucker, that’s what’s going on. I’m going to make him eat my gun."

"Mulder, would you make sense, please?"

"He knows about us. All of us. He’s not fussing about Peter and you, but he’s apparently making threats against me if Alex and I pursue a relationship."

"And, Alex is freaking out now."

"You got it." Fox straightened up and ran his fingers through his hair. "What am I gonna do; what am I gonna do... He’s going to call me later and tell me he’s not coming out, and God knows what else."

"For the love of... okay... okay. First of all, do you think the threat is real?"

"I don’t know; it could be, knowing that asshole."

"So, you can understand him not wanting you to get hurt."

"Of course I can. But I can take care of myself, Scully. And there’s no way in hell I’m going to let him screw this up."

"What about Alex?"

"At full capacity, Alex is more than a match for that bastard. But right now, he’s in no shape, mentally or physically, to cope with him. If he was, I don’t think this part of it would be as big an issue as it is."

"This part of it?"

"Yeah. The other being the whole not thinking he deserves anything good in his life thing. That, I could deal with over time. This crap has got to be handled immediately."

"How? You have no idea where the smoker is."

Fox thought about that for a moment. "He knows about us. How do you suppose he found out?"

"...There’s got to be a bug somewhere."

Fox nodded again, already beginning to pull apart the phone on his desk. Scully got up and started checking around the office. Almost an hour later, she found it.

"Mulder."

Fox pulled some books down off of the shelf behind his desk and set them down. Scully motioned him over and pointed to the device attached to the bottom of the coat rack.

"Goddamn it," Fox whispered then retrieved a letter opener from Scully’s desk. He pried the tiny bug out of the hole it rested in and carried it to his desk. He opened the bottom drawer and pulled out a hammer, gaining a questioning stare from Scully. "I use it for cracking walnuts." He lifted the hammer then paused, drumming his fingers on the desk. He leaned in and spoke into the device.

"You listening, you sleazy, pasty-faced mother fucker? I know what you said to Alex. If you think you’re up to messing with me, give it your best shot. What I’m saying is, your threats won’t work, and if you so much as cough in his direction again, I’ll find you under whatever rock you’re hiding and blow your wrinkled ass into the next life, you got me?" And with that, he crushed the bug with one hard swing of the hammer.

"You think that was a good idea, Mulder?" Scully asked. "You know what a twisted bastard he is. He might decide to call your bluff."

Fox lifted a glittering, angry gaze to the woman.

"What bluff? Come on. We have to check our apartments."

Peter unlocked the door and let Alex enter first. The younger man walked slowly into the apartment and stopped in the middle of the living room, staring at nothing in particular.

"Take a load off, kiddo. You know you’re supposed to go easy for a while yet."

Alex shuffled over to the sofa and carefully lowered himself to the cushion. Putting his feet up, he began to stare again. Peter watched him from several feet away, then he advanced slowly and sat in the chair across from the younger man.

"What are you going to say to him?"

"I don’t know."

"Alex, don’t let that asshole do this. Don’t let him win."

"You think I want to?" Alex snapped. "We’re not talking about a fucking card game, Pete. We’re talking about Mulder. If letting Spender win means Mulder doesn’t get hurt, then I guess he wins."

"You’re a fighter, Alex," Peter implored. "You’re tough. Hard as nails. Not to mention very, very smart and a little devious. If anyone can beat that old buzzard at his own game, it’s you. Don’t let him take this from you. He’s taken so much already."

Alex listened to his brother’s plea. Even after Peter finished speaking, he sat there with a thoughtful expression on his face. Or maybe Peter was just seeing what he wanted to see. Minutes later, Alex rose and slowly walked to his room. The door closed behind him with an emphatic click.

Fox wandered from room to room, his favorite basketball balanced between his arm and his hip. Now and then, he’d glance at his watch then at the phone.

He wouldn’t not call. He wouldn’t... He said he’d call. He said he’d...

His house phone rang, and he dropped the ball, diving for the cordless handset. Glancing quickly at the display, he drew the phone to his ear and uttered a breathless hello.

"...Mulder... it’s me."

Oh, yeah, this wasn’t going to be pretty.

"How are you?" Fox asked quickly, absolutely wanting to know how Alex felt but also hoping to get the preliminaries out of the way so they could get down to business.

"Okay."

All right...

Fox lowered himself to the sofa. "Alex? Talk to me."

"...Mulder, I... I can’t go to D.C."

"...Why not?"

He knew. He... Peter. Mother fucker.

"You know why not, don’t you?"

"Don’t be mad at Peter," Fox said softly. "You know he’s only got your best interests at heart."

He’d kill Peter later. Right now there was this to deal with.

"You realize there’s no way in hell I’m going to sit still for this."

"You have to," Alex droned, trying to keep the emotion out of his voice. "You don’t know him, Mulder. You think you do, but..."

"He’s not going to screw this up," Fox broke in. "He’s not."

"Screwing this up is the least of what he can do... and will, if I don’t stay away from you."

"He’s not going to do anything to me," Fox assured the distraught man. "After I talked to Peter, I started wondering how he knew about all of us. Then Scully and I turned the office upside down and found a bug. There was nothing at either of our apartments, but you might want to check your place."

Alex rubbed his forehead. "I taught Peter how to sweep for bugs. He does it regularly."

"Okay. Anyway, before I destroyed it, I gave dear old dad an earful, in case he was listening. I told him that I’d track him down and blow his brains out if he tried anything. And in case you’re wondering, that isn’t some idle threat made just to give him second thoughts. That’s a promise."

"You might very well mean it, Mulder, but it doesn’t make a difference, you understand? He does what he wants. He doesn’t have a loving, benevolent or remorseful bone in his body. An enemy like that is next to impossible to beat. And I can’t put you at risk. I won’t."

"He’s not going to do anything to me," Fox repeated. "You’re not putting me at risk, and you don’t need to worry about this."

"I do, Mulder. I do have to worry about it. I..."

"...I love you," he finally whispered and closed his eyes, his heart aching at the thought that words were all he’d ever have now. "...and I’ll do what I have to, to make sure that you’re not hurt."

"Alex, ending things will hurt me."

"But you’ll be alive and in one piece."

"And I won’t have you."

"You don’t need me."

"You know what I don’t need? I don’t need you telling me what I don’t need."

"Mulder, don’t make this any harder than it is."

"This isn’t happening, Alex. You understand me? This is not happening. I’ve told you this before, but allow me to reiterate. If you don’t come to me, I will go to you."

"No, you won’t."

Fox’s anger was growing. "No? Okay. You wait and see."

"Promise me you won’t, Mulder."

"I will not fucking promise you that! How can you even ask me to!?"

"How can you expect me not to?" Alex shouted back. "If the shoe was on the other foot, wouldn’t you do everything you could to protect me, no matter what? ... Wouldn’t you?"

"Yeah. I guess so, but..."

"There’s no but, Mulder."

"...Fox."

The word struck Alex dumb for a good long while, then he found his voice.

"W... what...? I-I don’t..."

"I think it’s about time you called me Fox."

Sable lashes drifted downward, closing over glittering eyes.

Fox. He imagined himself walking into a big, beautiful house and calling out the other man’s first name as he shuffled through their mail. Moaning it as they made love into the early hours of the morning. Purring it as they fell asleep, wrapped in each other’s arms. His bottom lip quivered, and he bit down hard to stop it.

"What’s the... There’s no point," He said mournfully.

"Why? Because we’re done?"

"...Yeah."

"We’re not."

"Mulder, listen to me. I’m not going out there. You’re not coming out here. After this call, we... we’re not going to talk again."

"No, Alex. You’re wrong. I promised you I wasn’t going to give up, and I’m not."

Alex gritted his teeth, willing the tears that were welling up in his eyes, not to fall.

"If... if you don’t promise me, Mulder... promise me right now, that you’ll stay away, I’ll leave."

"What do you mean, you’ll leave?"

"I’ll leave here. You won’t find me, Peter won’t find me. Nobody will."

"You can’t... you can’t do that."

"I can. And I will."

"Alex..."

"I will. There’ll be no more doctors, no more checkups... nothing."

"You don’t mean that."

"I do. I... I’ll do it, Mulder. So... so, if you don’t want to risk wasting Samantha’s heart, you’ll stay where you are."

"This isn’t just about wasting Samantha’s heart anymore, and you know it," Fox hissed. "It’s about wasting us."

"There’s no us."

"There is!" Fox shouted, shoving the coffee table with his foot and leaping up from the couch. He paced for a moment, breathing deeply, then he tried again.

"...You said you love me."

The tears Alex fought to keep at bay now began to drop slowly.

"That’s why I have to do this."

"You don’t, you..."

"Forget about being with me," Alex whispered, trying with everything he had in him to keep the tremble out of his voice.

"No."

"Forget any insane thoughts that either of us have had that it could work."

"No."

"Forget everything, Mulder."

"Forget you love me?"

"...Never..." Alex stopped, choking on the word, then he started again, his voice continuing to crack. "...Never forget that."

"...Alex?"

Fox listened to the silence that followed the soft click. He stood in the middle of the room for several seconds before dropping his hand and letting the phone hang at his side. He lightly tapped it against his leg a few times then turned and hurled it at the wall. Looking down at the broken pieces, he heaved a long, shuddering sigh and returned to the sofa. Slowly, he lowered his head to his hands and closed his eyes.

Alex’s door swung open slowly, and Peter peeked inside.

"Alex? Key, kid, didn’t you hear me knocking?"

No answer from the motionless figure. Peter approached carefully.

"Alex, you came in here hours ago... what’re you doing?"

Dry, expressionless eyes stared at the picture propped against the table lamp, but Alex said nothing.

"Oh, God, what the..." Peter sat at the edge of his brother’s bed and faced him.

"Come on, kiddo. Talk to me. Tell me why you look like that."

"...It’s done."

Peter cocked his head. "Done? What does that mean?"

"...Just what it sounds like."

"Mulder’s not going to let this happen," Peter promised.

"I told you in the hospital that he wouldn’t have a choice."

"What did you say to him?"

No answer.

"Alex, what did you say to him?" Peter asked again, raising his voice.

"Leave it alone, Peter," Alex rasped. "Leave me alone."

"Fine... fine. I’ll leave you alone for tonight. But tomorrow, we’re going to talk about this."

Alex waited for several minutes after Peter left the room before getting up and loading the portable CD player. He lifted the picture from its resting place and lay down again, settling on his side. Holding the photo just inches from his face, he stared into the eyes that he’d actually begun to think he would see filled with love for him one day soon.

Now, all he’d ever have was this picture and a handful of CDs loaded with love songs.