Author’s notes: This should have been done long ago, but between the mental blocks and real life, it’s been one hell of a horror show. Well, it’s done now, and dammit, it’s much longer than I had intended it to be.

Admission XIII
No Walls

Disclaimer: All XF characters are the property of CC. I made up all the rest. Any similarities to persons living or dead are purely coincidental.

The two men stood in the empty　cemetery, one staring down at the headstone he stood in front of, and the other a couple of steps behind him, in watchful silence. Slowly, the dark man squatted and placed the bouquet of flowers he held, at the base of the stone.

"I haven’t been here since the day of　her funeral. Could never bring myself to come... I should have come."

"She knows why you didn’t. Don’t beat yourself up about it."

Green eyes peered over the tops of sunglasses. "My mother is two sections away." He looked around, getting his bearings then stared off to his right. "That way." He looked back at the stone for a moment then got up and placed his hand on the top of it. He mouthed something to his absent grandmother then turned to his husband. Fox handed him the bouquet he’d brought for his mother, and the two headed off toward her grave.

"They’re coming! Mummy, they’re coming!"

The child hopped off of the chair in front of the window and ran to　pull　her mother up off of the sofa.

"Let ‘em in, let ‘em in!"

"All right, Raiza! Geez, it’ll take them a minute to get to the door."

Seconds afterward, the buzzer rang, and Maria pushed the intercom button.

"That you, guys?"

"It’s us," Alex’s voice crackled back.

"Come on up!" Maria hit the button, buzzing her cousin and his husband in, then she went to open the apartment door.

"Can we go to the elevator, Mummy?"

"They’ll be here in a couple of seconds, honey! Can’t we just..."

"Please, please!"

"Oy," Maria groaned. "Okay, okay. Let’s go."

Raiza raced ahead of her mother and got to the elevator just as the doors were opening. She sprang at the first man off, who happened to be Fox.

"Hi, uncle Fox!"

Fox swept the little girl up in his arms.

"Hey, kiddo!"

"Hi, Uncle Alex!"

"Hi, sweetheart," Alex laughed as Raiza leaned over to throw her arms around him. He planted a loud kiss on the child’s forehead, and the three started down the hall, moving toward Maria, who had stopped and waited for them to reach her.

"Hey, guys," Maria said as she hugged Alex then Fox. "I’m so glad you came. Come on. Come inside."

The men followed Maria back to her apartment, Fox carrying Raiza and Alex hauling two bags.

"Is my present in there?" Raiza asked, looking over Fox’s shoulder at Alex’s load.

Maria sighed. "Raiza..."

"Yeah, I think there may be a thing or two in here for you," Alex grinned.

"A thing or two?" Maria asked, ushering the men into the apartment. Alex shrugged at her, smirking.

Fox set Raiza down on her feet, and Maria motioned for them to sit.

"How was your flight?"

"Uneventful," Fox answered as Alex rummaged through the bags. "The drive was more interesting."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah, there were some wild turkeys holding up traffic on the exit."

Maria laughed. "There are a lot of them around here. I have no idea where they come from." As she spoke, she watched Alex pull out box after wrapped box. Her eyes narrowed on her cousin. "Uh... what’s all that?"

"They’re for me!" Raiza chirped, clapping her hands." Alex wound an arm around her and held a finger to his smiling lips.

Maria squinted at him. "What happened to a thing or two?"

Alex gave her a　bland stare.　"I lied."

"Alex..."

"Fox is just as much to blame as I am."

"That’s it, Alex, just toss me right under the bus," Fox huffed, to which Alex answered with a sheepish grin.

"If it makes you feel any better, Maria, one of these is actually for you," Fox said, picking a box out of the small pile and handing it to the woman.

"Aww, you shouldn’t have done that," Maria moaned, taking the box.

"Open it, Mummy!" Raiza instructed as she ripped into the first of four packages

Maria shook her head and gingerly took the wrapping off of the box.　"Oh, guys." She lifted the delicate mother of pearl necklace up before her eyes and smiled. "How beautiful."

"That’s pretty, Mummy," Raiza said then held up the huge pink shell she’d just unwrapped. "Look at this!"

"Hold it to your ear, Raiza," Fox instructed. "You can hear the ocean."

Raiza lifted the shell up and frowned. "I don’t hear anything."

Fox laughed softly and took the shell, turning it around so that the opening was to the child’s ear. Her mouth fell open, then she smiled excitedly.

"I hear it!" Then the frown returned. "How’d it get in there?"

Alex dropped his head, shaking with laughter.

"The water isn’t actually in there," Maria explained.

"Then how can I hear it?"

"The shell keeps the memory of the ocean it was taken from," Fox said. "And it shares that memory with us."

Big brown eyes stared up at Fox as Raiza considered his words.

"Oh."

Maria lifted a hand and let it drop to her knee.

"Hook line and sinker."

"It’s true, Fox said with all seriousness. "Every living thing has a memory. Even some not so living things."

Maria’s eyes grew wide. "Oh. Uhhhh huh."

"Some buildings have memories..."

"Oh, really?"

"Don’t get him started," Alex warned, smirking.

Raiza set the shell down gently and picked up the next box. Opening it up, she pulled out a colorful Bahamas t-shirt.

"It’s a little big," Alex said, "but maybe you won’t outgrow it quite so fast, huh?"

"I can wear it like a dress!" Raiza crowed, pulling the shirt over her head and down over the clothing she wore. Next, she unwrapped a necklace made of shells, and lastly, a beautiful gray stuffed dolphin.

"He looks like Flipper!"

"She knows Flipper?" Alex asked Maria.

"I had bought her some Flipper, Mr. Ed,　and Lassie DVDs last Christmas. She loves animals, and I figured she’d get a kick out seeing the shows I used to watch as　a kid."

Raiza draped the shells around her neck, picked up the stuffed toy, and threw her free arm around Fox’s neck.

"Thank you, Uncle Fox!"

Fox hugged the little girl to him.

"You’re welcome, honey."

She released Fox and went for Alex.

"Thank you, Uncle Alex! I love all my presents."

"I’m glad, sweetie."

Raiza let him go then gathered up her shell, carrying that and her dolphin over to the chair, where her doll sat. Setting the dolphin down next to Annie, she held the shell to the doll’s head.

"Wanna hear the ocean, Annie?"

The men watched her, smiling uncontrollably.

"That ought to keep her busy for a while," Maria said, then got up and went over to hug each man. "Thank you both, so much. I love my necklace."

The three spent the next hour over iced tea, talking　about the newly married couple’s two weeks in the tropics, but soon enough, the discussion turned to family.

"Natalie said that she’d like to see you, but she knows you probably won’t be all fired up to see your father. So, I told her to feel free to drop by."

Alex nodded. "She won’t incur the wrath of Iliia, though?"

Maria shrugged. "Probably. I think her attitude now is, yeah, whatever; he’ll get over it."

"I’m surprised he didn’t change the locks on her when she came back from the wedding."

"It wasn’t a walk in the park, that’s for sure,　but she stands up to him now." Maria went quiet for a moment then went on. "He asked a lot of questions, you know."

"Morbid curiosity?"

"Maybe. But it’s not complete indifference."

"That’s true, babe," Fox offered. "He might have just acted like the whole thing never happened, but if he didn’t..."

"What? Because he asked a couple of questions, you think he’s　bucking for a tearful reunion?"

Fox smiled. "Well... it may not be an Oprah moment, but..."

"More like Springer," Alex concluded, then he lowered his eyes. Fox and Maria sat in silence until he lifted his head.

"I hope Natalie does come by, because I’m not going there."

"Okay, babe," Fox said, rubbing the younger man’s back soothingly. "Whatever you want."

The next half　hour or so was spent in quiet conversation, until Maria’s phone rang.

"It’s Natalie," she said, looking at the caller ID. "Hello? Hi. Uh huh. Yep, they’re here. Absolutely. Come on over. Okay... all right... see you soon."

She hung up and raised her eyebrows at the couple. "She’ll be here in about fifteen minutes."

"Aunt Natalie is coming over?" Raiza asked, moving between the men and sitting Annie on Alex’s lap, while shoving her dolphin at Fox. "Is Uncle Iliia coming too?"

"Uh. N-no, honey. Just Aunt Natalie."

"Oh. What do dolphins eat, Uncle Fox?"

"Little fish, mostly," Fox answered.

"I don’t like fish," the child shot back, wrinkling her nose. "I like hot dogs. With mustard."

Fox grinned. "How about sauerkraut?"

"What’s that?"

"Pickled cabbage."

"Cabbage? Ewwww!"

"Not a big veggie eater," Maria explained. "I try, but..."

Several minutes later, the buzzer sounded, and Raiza began hopping up and down.

"It’s Aunt Natalie! Can I let her in?"

"Go ahead," Maria said, waving at the box that had only recently come within Raiza’s reach. Standing on her toes, the girl pressed the button and opened the apartment door. A couple of minutes later, A voice that sounded nothing like Alex’s step mother’s, sounded from the hall.

"Hey, kiddo!"

"Uncle Victor!"

Maria’s head snapped around, and she jumped up out of her chair.

"What’s this you’re wearing?" Victor asked Raiza.

"Uncle Alex and Uncle Fox brought it to me from their honeymoon. And this necklace... " She pointed to the other gifts. "And that dolphin, and that shell. You can hear the ocean in it."

"Wow. That’s great." Victor looked up to find Maria standing in front of him. "Hey, cuz. What’s up?"

"What’re you doing here?"

"What do you mean, what am I doing here?" Victor stepped around Maria and started toward the sofa. "I knew my dear cousin wouldn’t be dropping by my place to say hello, so, I thought I’d come here to see him and his new husband. How’re you doing, guys? Congratulations."

Alex rose to his feet, followed by Fox.

"Thanks." His tone was less than warm, and he would have said more, had Raiza not been standing between them.

Victor’s　gaze left Alex and came to rest on Fox. His mouth curled into a lazy smile.

"How are you, Fox? You look well."

They weren’t touching, but Fox could feel the tension in Alex.

"I’m fine, Victor. How are you?"

The other man shrugged. "A little hurt, if you must know."

"Why’s that?"

"I didn’t get an invitation to your　wedding."

"We didn’t want to waste the paper or the stamp," Alex said, a cold smile pasted to his face. "Since we knew you wouldn’t have come."

"You could’ve at least given me the opportunity to turn you down. And your father. He knows you’re here, by the way."

The iciness reached Alex’s tone. "Can’t say I’m surprised."

"You want to know what he said?"

Before Alex could answer, Maria broke in.

"Raiza, why don’t you go take your new toys into your room, okay? The adults want to talk for a little while."

The child looked up at Victor and then at Alex. "You’re not going to leave, are you, Uncle Alex?"

Alex lifted Raiza into his arms, giving her a reassuring smile.

"Nope. I promise　Uncle Fox and I will　be here when you come out. ‘Kay?"

Raiza threw her arms around Alex. "Okay."

Victor glared as Alex kissed the little girl and set her on her feet. She looked up into his face, giving him a frown.

"Be nice to Uncle Alex, Uncle Victor."

Genuinely surprised, Victor held his hands up.

"Of course I will."

As soon as Raiza was gone, Maria snapped at her eldest cousin.

"How dare you come here and cause trouble?"

"What trouble?" Victor asked, all wide-eyed innocence. "And what are you telling Raiza, that she would think that I wouldn’t be nice to Uncle Alex?" he asked, putting a snide emphasis on his last two words.　Maria drew in a breath, getting ready to fire back,　when the buzzer rang again.

"That’s Natalie," Maria said, going to buzz the woman in. "Why don’t you get lost now, Victor?"

"Without Alex knowing what his father said about him coming here?"

"Clearly, it’s nothing good, since you’re so hot to tell me," Alex murmured. "But, please. If it’ll get you off tonight, cousin, go ahead. Let ‘er rip."

Natalie walked in at the end of Alex’s statement, shocked at Victor’s presence.

"Oh. Uh... " she glanced at Victor as she approached the other two men. "Hello, boys. How wonderful to see you."

Alex hugged the woman first, then Fox.

"We’re glad you came," Fox told the woman, who had glanced uneasily in Victor’s direction.

"I wasn’t going to pass up the chance to see you and hear about your honeymoon."

"Okay, Victor. Alex and Fox want to visit with Aunt Natalie. Take off."

"Why are you in such a big damn hurry to get me out of here?" Victor asked. "Alex said he wanted to hear what Uncle Iliia said."

Natalie turned to face Victor.

"Has this got to do with whatever you were　conspiring about yesterday?"

"We weren’t conspiring. I was simply telling Uncle what I knew no one else was going to."

"No wonder he was in such a foul mood after you left."　Natalie turned back to Alex. "He retreated into his den and refused to speak to me for the rest of the day. And today, he was very angry when I said I was coming here to see Maria. Now I know why. Why would you cause such trouble, Victor?" she asked the other man.

"I’m sorry, Aunt Natalie. I didn’t think that..."

"No, you didn’t think,"　Natalie snapped, cutting Victor off.　"You need to get over this intense dislike for Alex,"　she warned. "Absolutely no good can come of it."

Victor gave Alex a spiteful glare then cut his eyes away.

"And another thing."

Natalie’s sharp tone brought Victor’s attention back to her face.

"If you come to our house only to be an instigator, I’d rather you stayed away."

Victor stared for a moment then shifted his gaze to Alex then Fox, who stared back in silence.

"Good to see you, Fox."

One more venomous look at his cousin, and he turned and left.

"Sorry," Maria breathed, shutting the door behind Victor. "I had no idea he’d show up."

"S’okay," Alex reassured his cousin. "I think he was more irritated than we were." He turned to his stepmother. "You handled him pretty well."

"Yeah," Fox said, grinning at the woman. "You’re cool."

"What? Oh. No. I’ve just had enough of his interference. Alex’s father is not in the best of health, and he does not need Victor getting him all worked up."

Alex looked down at the floor.

"... What exactly is　wrong with him?"

Oh, you know... hypertension, high cholesterol... his knees are bad..."

"What about　joint replacement surgery?" Fox asked.

"He refuses," Natalie said. "He’s never had to have surgery, and he insists that at this age, he’s not going to start now. So, on particularly bad days, he uses a cane."

Alex said nothing. Fox glanced at him then looked back at Natalie.

"So, did you try asking Iliia what Victor had said to him to put him in such a bad mood?"

"I did try," Natalie sighed. "But he wouldn’t answer." She shook her head. "I hope Victor knows that I mean what I said. If he can’t keep his negative attitude to himself, I don’t want him..."

"Hi, Aunt Natalie!"

Natalie stopped talking and turned in the direction of the little voice. Raiza peeked out at her from her bedroom door.

"Hi, sweetheart."

"Mummy, can you stop having your talk for a minute, so I can see Aunt Natalie?"

Maria chuckled softly and waved Raiza in.

"Where’s Uncle Victor?" the child asked, walking up to the older woman and reaching up to hug her.

"He had to go, honey," Maria said softly.

Raiza frowned. "He didn’t come say goodbye." She cocked her head, looking around at the adults. "He made everybody mad, huh?"

Maria rested her hand on her daughter’s head. "Uh... don’t you worry about that."

Raiza looked from Maria to Natalie.

"I have to go back in my room, don’t I?"

Maria smiled. "For a little bit," she said. "I’ll call you as soon as we’re done talking."

"Okay."

"Poor kid," Alex murmured, taking a seat beside Fox after Natalie and Maria had sat down. "She can feel the tension."

"I know," Maria sighed. "I could strangle Victor." She waved a hand. "But, let’s forget about him."

"Fine with me," Alex agreed. He went back into the bag he’d brought, and pulled out another gift. "We got you a little something, Natalie." Handing the woman a wrapped box, he sat back and wound an arm around Fox’s shoulder.

"Oh, you shouldn’t have done this," Natalie sighed, fingering the pale yellow bow.

"We wanted everyone to know how much having you at our wedding meant to us. This is our thank you."

Natalie opened the box and gasped at the sight of the blush pink coral pendant, suspended from a fine gold chain.

"Isn’t this lovely. Oh, boys." Natalie rose to hug both men. "Oh, my goodness." She handed the necklace to Alex and asked him to put it on her.

"You’re not going to have any trouble with my father over this, are you?" he asked as Natalie turned her back to him, and he fastened the chain around her neck.

"I hope not, but if he does get upset, he’ll just have to get over it." She turned and hugged both men tightly. "Thank you so much. It really is beautiful."

Maria showed Natalie her gift, then the four sat down, and Alex and Fox relayed the events of their two weeks on Andros.

"Sounds absolutely wonderful," Natalie sighed. "You’ll have to show us the pictures when you get them."

"We’ll have to work something out," Fox answered. "Maybe have the family out for a visit." His eyes been to sparkle as a thought came to him. "How about Thanksgiving? We’d love to have everyone over."

Maria smiled excitedly.

"Oooh, really?"

"That would be lovely," Natalie said, then directed her conversation at Alex.　"But I don’t know that I could leave your father. I know I did it for your wedding, but Thanksgiving is a little different."

"I understand," Alex said, then he went silent.

"I’m going to try and talk to him," Natalie promised. "Not that I haven’t tried several times since Maria and Victor found you, but I’ll step it up a bit and see if I can’t get anywhere with him."

"Don’t knock yourself out, Natalie. I don’t ever remember a time when anyone had been able to change my father’s mind once he had it made up. You’ll only end up stressing yourself out, and I don’t want that."

"Victor isn’t helping matters any, either," Maria said. "He’s just so unhappy in his own life... and to see Alex, his sworn enemy, living the kind of life he wants... it’s too much for him to take."

"Did he ever have a serious relationship?"

"Yeah. Though Victor didn’t treat it that way most of the time, which is why Chris ended up leaving him."

"How long were they together?" Fox asked.

"About three years. Chris tried. God, he tried. But Victor... I don’t know. He just thought he could do and say anything he wanted, and Chris was supposed to take it."

"So," Alex said, "... Chris... he..."

"Oh. Yeah."

"We kinda figured," Fox murmured, smiling at Maria.

"Yeah? Well, so you can understand that Alex being with you only makes it worse."

"How long had it been since they separated?"

"Almost　a year. Then we find Alex, and there he is, living in a beautiful house with a gorgeous man, madly in love, and getting married. Sorta sent Victor over the edge, y’know?"

Both men nodded.

"But it’s no excuse for the way he’s behaving," Natalie said. "Alex had nothing to do with his breakup with Chris."

"I know, Aunt Natalie, and Victor knows it too.　It’s just easier for　him to　be mad　at Alex than at himself."

"To the point where he’d try to make sure that there was no chance at all for a reconciliation between Alex and his father?"

Maria shrugged. "Victor’s been jealous of Alex since we were kids."

"And jealousy can be a very destructive emotion," Fox added. "It is, obviously, in Victor’s case."

"As far as my father goes,　though, I don’t think it was Victor who put the final nail in that coffin. That happened a long time ago."

"He definitely hasn’t helped," Natalie countered. "He’s come to the house several times and either drew your father into another room or sat whispering to him when I was far enough out of range. He keeps the bad feelings fresh."

"So... what was his reaction when you got back from Vermont?"

"Your father?"

"Yeah."

Alex’s question surprised Fox. He stared at the younger man for a moment then looked to Natalie for her answer.

"I’d say that he was one part angry to two parts curious."

Alex’s eyebrows lifted slightly. Natalie went on.

"He saw some of the　pictures that Karlo　had taken."

Maria shrugged at her cousin. "Dad thought it would help if he saw you. Maybe it would... I don’t know... trigger some sentimental emotions."

Alex gave the woman a rueful smile. "And did they?"

Maria sighed softly. "Not so much. Nothing he allowed to show, anyway."

"Didn’t think so." Alex turned back to Natalie. "So, what was he curious about?"

"He wanted to know what your reaction was to us being there... if you said anything about the fact that he wasn’t. He asked who besides us was there. There was one shot that he kept looking at; it was one of you and Fox standing at the altar, looking at each other. After the third time he went back to it, he asked if I thought you were really happy. It wasn’t asked in a snide way... he was really　just curious, I think. I told him that you absolutely were, and he let it drop... Alex, I... would you consider seeing him? Just think about it? I can’t explain it, but I truly think he would be disappointed if you go back to Virginia without having visited him."

Alex turned his head, shaking it slightly.

"I’m not saying that he wouldn’t probably say things that would upset you. You know your father. He’s not given to big displays of affection, and he’s even less apt to apologize for something, even when he absolutely should. But he’s not getting any younger, and it breaks my heart to think of him leaving this world, not having reconciled with his only child. And it’s not just for his sake, Alex... it’s for yours too. I don’t want you living the rest of your life with regrets, wondering about what could have been."

Silence prevailed for some time after that, then Alex returned his gaze to Natalie’s face.

"... I’ll think about it."

The woman gave him a motherly smile. "It’s all I ask," she said, reaching out to take Alex’s hand. "Thank you... um... I also wanted to tell you that I won’t be at Ivan’s tomorrow. I’d love to be, but I think I’ve provoked your father enough lately."

"We understand," Fox said when Alex gave no response. "You gotta do what you gotta do."

The rest of the visit was spent on　other things. Raiza kept everyone amused with her endless chatter, and Alex told his stepmother more about his present life. Fox kept quiet mostly, only responding if addressed directly. He was too busy studying his husband, reading the younger man’s tone and facial expressions, knowing that there was much more going on behind his eyes than he allowed the women to see.

Natalie left at five,　satisfied with Alex’s vow to consider her request. Two hours later, after a dinner of Chinese takeout, the couple prepared to leave, despite　Raiza’s many objections.

"We’ll see you tomorrow at Uncle Ivan’s," Alex reasoned as the child wrapped her little arms around his neck and begged him not to go.

"All right, Raiza," Maria said, gently pulling her daughter away. "Uncle Alex and Uncle Fox have to go now. They need to get some rest. Tomorrow’s going to be a long day. Now, come on. Give them a kiss, then you’re going to go get ready for bed."

Pouting, Raiza kissed first Alex then Fox. Maria hugged both men, thanked them again for the gifts, and they departed. Alex drove the rental car back to the hotel, and Fox sat in silence, giving him some time before speaking.

"Did you mean it when you told Natalie you’d think about seeing your father?"

Alex drew in a long breath and let it out slowly.

"Yeah. I’m thinking about it."

"What are you thinking about it?"

The right side of Alex’s mouth turned up into a bitter smile. "I’m thinking I really don’t want to subject myself to his abuse, and I really don’t want you anywhere near it."

"Don’t worry about me," Fox said softly, stroking the back of Alex’s head. "... Natalie seems to think he’d like to see you... even though he may not act like it."

"If he isn’t going to act like it, even a little bit, why should I go?" Alex asked. "Am I supposed to walk into the house, say hello, then stand there and let him rip into me about stuff he’s got no right to? Am I supposed to smile and let him criticize my life? My husband? Because that is what he’ll do."

"Can you really be sure that’s what he’ll do?" Fox asked.

"Iliia Krycek is a hard,　ill-tempered, critical, self-righteous, unreasonable, unapologetic, son of a bitch, who treated his only child like shit after the death of his wife. Who didn’t give a rat’s ass when I graduated with high honors from high school... who didn’t lift a finger to help me through college... who didn’t even show up when I graduated from the Academy." His voice got softer with each uttered instance. "I’m pretty sure."

"Pretty sure isn’t really sure," Fox said. "Maybe some of that inflexibility has softened. Even if just a little bit, isn’t it worth finding out? You may never be father and son like you should be, but what if you can at least be on good terms with each other?"

"My Fox," Alex murmured, reaching out to stroke the older man’s cheek. "The eternal optimist."

Fox shrugged and gave Alex a crooked smile. "I just agree with Natalie. I don’t want you eaten up with guilt over what might have been, you know? Of course, I don’t want you to be a target for his abuse, either, so if you’re absolutely sure that nothing good will come out of a meeting with him, I’m certainly not going to push you on the idea."

Alex sighed heavily then glanced at his passenger.

"I’ll think about it some more."

"You didn’t eat much dinner. Can I get you anything? ... Iliia?"

Watery green eyes shifted up to Natalie’s face.

"Did he give you that?"

Natalie’s hand went to the pendant she wore around her neck.

"Yes."

"When were you going to tell me?"

"I wasn’t. I didn’t want to rub it in your face."

"You’re wearing it, aren’t you?"

"It’s a lovely gift from my step son and his husband, and yes, I’m wearing it. I knew you’d notice it, but I figured that if you chose to ignore it, I’d let you."

"His husband." Iliia huffed in disgust and turned his head.

"Yes, Iliia. His husband. Your son-in-law. Get used to it, and get over it. If you don’t, you’ll never see your son." Natalie sat down in front of Iliia and made him look at her. "Search your heart, dear. Is that really what you want?"

Iliia stared at his wife for a short while then averted his gaze.

"Are you going to this party tomorrow?"

Victor. Had to be.

"No. That’s why I went to see them today."

"Why aren’t you going? Everyone else is. My entire traitorous family."

"Traitorous... Iliia,　how do you consider your family welcoming your son back, high treason?"

"You’re either with me, or you’re against me."

"Why must we take sides? Why can’t we love you both?"

"If any of you had any respect left for me, you would honor my wishes!"

"But they’re completely unreasonable!" Natalie said, raising her tone to match her husband’s. "Alex has done nothing to deserve such treatment!"

"No? That isn’t quite the way I understand it."

"Iliia, this attitude toward Alex began long ago. What was your excuse then? Not that you have one now."

"I don’t need to explain myself to you."

"No. That’s right, you don’t. I’m only your wife."

Not waiting for a response, Natalie got up and walked out of the room.

Fox shifted position, facing the middle of the bed and wound his arm around... nothing. One hazel eye opened halfway, verifying that he was alone in the bed. He sat up, calling Alex’s name before his hazy gaze landed on the other man, standing at the window.

"Babe?"

"Go back to sleep, lisa," Alex said softly to the still groggy man.

Fox rubbed the sleep from one eye. "No, what’s... " He stopped before he could finish the question. He knew what was wrong. "How long have you been awake?"

"Little while."

Fox propped his head up in one hand and stared at Alex’s dark profile.

"Did you sleep at all?"

"Yeah," Alex sighed. "Not too long, though."

"You’re going to be tired in the morning, and we’ve got a long day."

Alex lifted one shoulder and let it drop. "I’m wide awake right now."

Fox watched him for a few minutes then called to him.

"Alexei."

"Hmm?"

"Come back to bed."

Alex stared for a few seconds then slowly moved back to the bed. He slid under the sheet and turned to face his husband, moaning softly when Fox snuggled against him. He draped his arm over the other man, his fingertips whispering over　his back.

"What can I do to help you sleep?" Fox asked, nuzzling Alex’s chin and dusting his mouth with a light kiss.

"I don’t know that anything’s going to help,", Alex sighed. "But far be it from me to stop you from trying." He saw the flash of white as Fox smiled, then the older man drew his tongue across his bottom lip before engaging him in a teasing kiss. His muscles tensed and relaxed as Fox slowly stroked and massaged his back, and a small moan vibrated against the older man’s lips as the kissing took a more intense turn.

Fox’s hand stroked lower, making the occasional foray past the band of Alex’s boxer briefs, caressing the top curve of his ass, and when Alex arched against him, he smiled into the younger man’s mouth. At least for now, he was sure Alex had forgotten about the things that troubled him.

He cupped one cheek, squeezing gently as his mouth left Alex’s and traveled over his chin to his throat. He nipped lightly at the fragile skin and continued to move south, his lips grazing over his husband’s warm skin. Reaching one tightening nipple, he circled it with the tip of his tongue then sucked it into his mouth. The hand on Alex’s ass squeezed a bit harder, pulling him closer, and the younger man’s eyes closed as a long sigh escaped his parted lips. The sigh turned into a groan as Fox’s tongue flicked quickly over the nipple, and Alex’s fingers slid through　his lover’s golden-brown　hair, curling in the silky strands.

"Lisa..."

Fox caught the rigid peak between his teeth and pulled, wringing a soft snarl from Alex, but the younger man made no move to encourage or deter him. He lay panting, hands clenched in Fox’s hair, drowning in sensation, and when Fox released his nipple and sank lower, he began to shudder in anticipation. Fox pulled at the waistband of his underwear, working it down over his ass and the raging erection he now sported. When he’d completely removed the shorts, he sank lower on the mattress, looking up into dark eyes as he　brushed his mouth over the　tip of Alex’s cock. The younger man’s jaw clenched tightly, but it wasn’t enough to hold back a low grunt as lush lips closed over the head and sucked gently.

"You take such good care of me," Alex whispered, stroking Fox’s jaw as the older man released suction on his cock. Leaving it inside of his mouth, he ran his tongue over it then closed his eyes and swallowed Alex’s entire length. The younger man’s mouth fell open, and a rough moan rolled in his throat. Fox sucked him slowly, gently, and his hips began to move, thrusting lazily into the moist heat.

Fox’s own cock, which had long since come to attention, jerked upward as his husband began to fuck his mouth, and his respiration increased. Excitement grew, spiraling quickly beyond his control, and he grasped Alex’s ass firmly, pulling the younger man over him　as he rolled onto his back, encouraging him to keep moving.

Fighting to keep his composure, Alex pumped gently, pushing his cock as far as it could go before withdrawing and then sinking it again down Fox’s throat.　His husband’s increasingly frantic whimpers stoked his already inflamed　passion, and he lost it,　pumping　faster. Pinned beneath his　weight,　Fox writhed and sobbed,　aroused beyond reason.　The sound　vibrated along the length of Alex’s cock, and he clutched at the pillow, burying his face in it, muffling his cries as he came.

Fox swallowed voraciously, clutching at Alex’s rear as the younger man shuddered and jerked above him. When he felt Alex’s body begin to relax, he pushed him onto his back and slid up over him, lying on his lover’s chest. Resting his head on Alex’s shoulder, he planted several small kisses on his cheek and jaw.

"Tired now?"

A weary smile curled Alex’s lips.

"Mmm."

"Go to sleep, then."

The smile turned to a frown.

"What about you?"

"You’ll owe me one," Fox purred, rubbing against him, letting him feel his undiminished erection.

"Fox..."

"Shut up and go to sleep."

Fox moved to the mattress, snuggling into Alex’s side and soothingly caressed his chest. He watched his husband’s lashes repeatedly droop then lift. When they fell over his eyes for the last time, Fox closed his own eyes and followed Alex into slumber.

"Are you sure there’s enough gas?"

"Even if there isn’t, the other tank is full."

"But you’ll have to stop cooking to change it."

"It only takes a few seconds."

Irene stared at her husband until he huffed and went outside to switch his grille’s propane tanks. Before he came back in, the phone rang.

"Hello?　Hi, Georgia. Yes, it did turn out to be a beautiful day, didn’t it? Mmm hmm... oh, no, I don’t think so, but let me ask." Irene clamped her hand over the phone and called out to her husband. "Ivan!"

"What are you yelling for?" Ivan grumbled as he re-entered the kitchen.

"I thought you were still outside. Georgia says Karlo wants to know if we need any more chairs."

"No, we have plenty."

"Ivan said we have enough. All right. Uh huh. Yes." Irene looked at the clock on the wall. "They should be here in about an hour or so... I know, neither can I. It’s so wonderful. It’s just too bad that Iliia can’t　find it in his heart to be here. I　wish he would realize the harm he’s doing to himself and Alex and just stop it. I can’t imagine　having nothing to do with my child. As much of a pain as my Victor is and has been, I could never just act as though he didn’t exist... all right, dear. We’ll see you in a while."

Irene hung up and pulled　her cake out of the oven.

"Oh, Ivan, I told you not to slam that door! The cake fell!"

Ivan came over to view the disaster.

"So just fill the hole with frosting. No one will know."

"Of course people will know!"

"How?"

"You don’t think when they get a slice with four inches of frosting at the tip, they’re not going to know?"

"All right, let me put it another way. No one will care."

"Alex hasn’t been home in years and years. I want everything to be perfect!"

"He’s not anyone you have to impress, for Pete’s sake. He’s family."

"Okay, but what about Fox? Wouldn’t it be nice to make a good impression on our new in-law?"

"He seems very down to earth. I don’t think an imperfect cake is going to lessen his opinion of his new family."

Irene sighed heavily and put the cake pan on the cooling rack.

"It will be fine," Ivan assured his wife with a light pat on her shoulder. "Now, where’s my big spatula?"

Fox zipped up his jeans, finished buttoning his shirt, then moved to Alex’s side, bumping the younger man　with his hip. Alex stumbled a few steps to his left and glared at the older man, who had begun combing his hair in the mirror.　Toothbrush in his mouth,　he mumbled something in his husband’s direction.

"There’s room for both of us," Fox answered. "Though I can’t for the life of me understand why you have to brush your teeth in front of a mirror."

Another agitated mumble.

"Well, yeah, if you can’t keep from drooling toothpaste all over the place, I guess you gotta brush over the sink."

Alex emptied his mouth and rinsed. "And where’s the sink?" he asked. "Under the mirror. And I don’t drool."

"Okay, honey."

Alex patted his mouth dry then snapped the hand towel at Fox’s ass.

"No time for teasing," Fox called as the other man left the bathroom, throwing the towel at the back of his head. "We gotta be out of here in fifteen minutes."

"I’m ready," Alex said from the other room. Fox finished with his hair and followed him. Dropping onto the sofa, he looked up at his husband. "So, how’re you feeling?"

Alex folded his arms across his chest and inhaled deeply. He blew it out and answered.

"Weird. In a little while, I’ll be in a house that I haven’t set foot in, in ages... two blocks from the house I grew up in."

Fox pressed his lips together and stared. When Alex left it there, he got to his feet and draped his arms around the other man.

"But you’re okay? Aside from feeling weird, I mean?"

Alex rested his head on Fox’s shoulder. "I guess," he breathed. "I’m looking forward to seeing my aunts and uncles."

"I hear a but somewhere in there."

Alex gave no answer.

"Not real happy about being that close to your father?"

"... Not particularly."

"I don’t think you have to worry about him pulling a Victor, so..."

"No. I... I’m not worried about that. I guess... he’s gotta know that we’re only going to be two blocks apart." Alex lifted his head and looked into Fox’s eyes, needing the comfort of their warmth. "How can he have been so... cold, so... I did nothing wrong, Fox. I mean, nothing to make him treat me the way he did before I left. And yet I feel like somehow this mess is all my fault... did he see?"

"See what, babe?"

"Did he see what I would become? Did he know? Is that why he pushed me away? Why he could barely look at me any more after my mother died?"

Fox gathered his distraught husband to his chest.

"I don’t know, sweetheart. But whatever his reasons are, none of them are valid. There’s no excuse for a parent to treat their child so cruelly."

"You know that better than anybody, don’t you, lisa?" Alex asked, running his hand up and down Fox’s back. "After all that’s happened... after the way she’s treated you... do you still have hope? If there was the slightest glimmer of possibility, would you give a relationship with your mother another chance?"

"She’s my mother," Fox sighed into Alex’s hair. "But I’d much sooner put myself through that kind of hell than see you go through it. That’s why if you’re that sure that you wouldn’t be able to handle a bad outcome, you should forget it."

"... But you’d do it."

"Probably," Fox said truthfully. He lifted the younger man’s head and smiled at him. "But I’m a masochist."

"Or maybe you’re just stronger than I am."

Fox cocked his head and gave Alex a mildly disapproving stare.

"Does it make me a weak person?" Alex asked, his eyes begging for absolute truth.

"It makes you human," Fox answered. "And before you say a weak human, and I have to smack you around... " Alex’s mouth twitched into a trace of a smile. "... you, my love, are the strongest person I know. Look at all you’ve been through, and here you are. Still standing."

"Yet, I’m scared to face my father."

"Parents are a whole different breed of scary."

Alex said nothing and Fox leaned in to kiss the tip of his nose.

"That’s the first time you’ve said that to me."

Green eyes shifted to the floor.

"What?"

"That you were scared to face your father."

Alex shrugged one shoulder. "He’s my father," he said, repeating Fox’s words. "Nobody wants to be rejected by their parent... twice..."

"I know, baby." Fox brushed Alex’s mouth lightly before claiming a tender kiss. "So... let’s go to your uncle’s."

"I can’t help thinking that I forgot something."

"What could you possibly have forgotten?" Georgia asked, looking around. "You’re the most organized person I know."

"She’s hasn’t forgotten anything," Ivan said. "But you know how anxious she gets over nothing."

"Georgia, would you call our nephew coming home after years and years, nothing?"

"Oh my goodness, no! It’s a very big deal!"

"You see?" Irene said, pointing at her husband.

"See what?" Karlo asked, entering the kitchen from the yard.

"Nothing," Ivan answered, shaking his head. "The women are getting worked up over Alex coming. He’s family, Irene; not the president."

"I think Ivan is right," Karlo said. "If you make too much of a fuss, he may feel uncomfortable."

Just as Karlo finished his thought, the doorbell rang. Irene and Georgia ran to the living room, and Irene threw the door open as she reached it.

"Alex!" The woman threw her arms around her nephew, hugging him tightly and pulling him into the house. Georgia grabbed Fox and wrapped him in a suffocating embrace, then they switched.

"We’re so glad you came," Irene practically sobbed, kissing Fox on both cheeks.

"Let the boys go," Karlo laughed, trying to pry Alex out of his wife’s grip. "You’re probably cutting off their air!"

"Sorry," Ivan said to Fox once Irene had released him. "They’re a little excited." He shook his nephew-in-law’s hand and slapped his upper arm.

"That’s okay," Alex breathed as Georgia pulled him away from Karlo and planted a big kiss on his cheek. "We’re happy to see you all too."

"Well, come in, come in! It’s such a beautiful day, we’re going to barbeque in the yard," Irene said, linking her arm through Alex’s while Georgia latched onto Fox.

"The house looks different than I remember it," Alex said, looking around as they walked through the living room and dining room.

"We renovated the downstairs back in ninety-nine," Ivan said, leading the group into the kitchen and out onto the patio.

"How does it feel to be back?" Irene asked as the couples all took a seat around the patio table.

"A little strange," Alex said, setting down the bag he’d carried in with him. "I was what? Twenty three, the last time I set foot in this house? Seems like a million years ago." He looked around at his family. "And then it seems like yesterday."

"Except we’re all a little older and a lot balder," Karlo chuckled running his hand over the thinning hair at the top of his head.

"Speak for yourself, Karlo," Ivan said. "The Krycek men don’t lose their hair, they go gray." He looked at Alex. "You’ve probably got a couple more years before you start seeing them pop up."

"Oh, I’ve got a few," Alex replied, running his fingers through his hair. "There’s one or two up top and a few more in the back, where they aren’t so noticeable."

"How about your family, Fox?" Karlo asked. "Bald or gray?"

"My father had a receding hairline. So did　his father　from what I could remember of him. My maternal grandfather had a full head of white hair, and so did my uncles. Guess I may take after my mother’s side. I think if I was going to lose my hair, by this age, I would have started already."

"Thank God," Alex breathed, laughing at the punch in the arm his statement earned him. "You know I’m kidding, lisa," he cooed. "I’d adore you even if you lost all your hair." He smirked at the older man. "But uh... you won’t, right?"

Fox sneered at him, bringing a round of chuckles from the others.

"You know, I heard you call Fox lisa at the wedding, but I didn’t make the connection until just now," Georgia said. "Lisitsa?"

Alex nodded.

"Oh, how sweet," Irene clucked. "I’d say that I was glad that this generation of Krycek men were the romantic type, but I think my son may be more like the older men in that regard." She smiled apologetically at Alex. "I’m sorry, dear. I wasn’t going to mention Victor."

"I’m the one who’s sorry, Aunt Irene," Alex said, lowering his gaze for a moment. "He’s your son, and he’s barred from your house because I’m here."

"That’s not your fault, Alex," Ivan assured his nephew. "We love our son, but he’s not the most compassionate of souls."

"Don’t give up on him, Uncle. No one had less compassion than I did. I was cold, and I was completely without feeling. Dead inside." Alex linked his fingers through Fox’s and brought his husband’s hand to his mouth.　"It took this man to get my heart beating again."

"He really is sappy, isn’t’ he?" Karlo cracked as Alex kissed the back of Fox’s hand. "Let’s change the subject before he starts reciting poetry or something."

Huffing impatiently, Georgia slapped her husband’s arm. Before the two could begin to squabble, the side gate opened, and Maria walked into the yard, holding Raiza’s hand. As soon as the gate was secured, she released the child, who ran straight to Karlo.

"There’s Grandpa’s girl!"

Raiza giggled as her grandfather swung her off her feet and tickled the side of her neck with his mustache.

"Hi Grandpa! Hi Grandma!"

"Hi, sweetheart." Georgia reached over for a kiss. Raiza greeted the others then shoved her dolphin in Karlo’s face.

"Look!"

"I see. Where’d you get that?"

"Uncle Alex and Uncle Fox got it for me on their honeymoon. And I got a t-shirt, and this necklace, and a big shell that you can hear the ocean in!"

"Wow, that’s great!"

Alex gave himself a visible shake.

"Which reminds me... " He reached into the bag by his chair and began handing out the rest of the family’s souvenirs. After the gifts were opened and the thank you’s said, Ivan got up to start the grill.

"So, how was your night?" Maria asked. "I know I rarely sleep well in a bed other than my own."

"It was all right," Fox answered. "Not as comfortable as our own bed, but more than adequate."

"Is your friend Dana watching your dog?" Irene wanted to know.

"She is," Alex said. "She wanted to kill us, having to watch him again so soon. He drove her nuts the two weeks we were gone."

"I miss Clyde," Raiza chirped. "You shoulda brought him."

"They couldn’t, honey," Maria explained. "There were no hotels around here that accept dogs."

The child frowned up at her mother. "Like where we live?"

"Right."

"That’s a dumb rule. Clyde’s a nice dog. He wouldn’t cause any trouble."

"Tell Scully," Fox murmured, smirking at Alex.

Almost an hour later, the group sat around the table, filling up on hamburgers, hot dogs and other assorted barbeque fare. The conversation flowed easily, and raucous laughter erupted when the stories started.

"How about the time you helped us build　that tree house, Dad?" Maria cackled. "And you were up on the limb, securing the floor, and Victor didn’t know you were up there and walked off with the ladder?" Her voice got more shrill as she laughed harder. "And it started pouring!"

Karlo shook with laughter. "I was up there for twenty minutes hollering until someone realized it. I was soaked to the bone."

"And what about that first day we got to use it? We stocked it full of toys and magazines　and snacks, and then Victor told Alex to go get his little radio so we could listen to the baseball game. Then he pulled　in the rope ladder and wouldn’t let Alex up."

"I remember that," Alex said. "I sat at the base of the tree　hollering at　Victor and crying for almost half an hour."

"I kept yelling for　him to let you up, but he put the ladder out of my reach and refused. Then you decided you’d had enough and scaled that tree, and... " Maria started laughing again. "It was priceless, Fox. Alex had thrown Victor’s radio at him and beaned him off the head. It bounced off his forehead, went out the window, and broke into three pieces at the base of the tree. Victor was furious. He loved that radio. He went after him, but Alex was small and fast. He scrambled down the　tree and was halfway across the lawn when Victor caught up to him and tackled him. They were rolling around on the ground, swinging at each other and screaming. They made so much noise that it brought Dad, Uncle Iliia and Uncle Ivan out of Dad’s garage."

Alex stared at the ground, smirking.

"It took us a good long time to separate them," Ivan recalled. "I cuffed Victor on the back of the head and sent him into the house. Iliia gave Alex a couple of good whacks and might have given him more, but the kids’ grandmother　showed up and snatched him away. Then she started yelling at Iliia for hitting him." He laughed. "Mama was the only one he would never give any static to."

"He didn’t dare," Georgia said. "None of us did. She was one tough old lady... but she sure had a soft spot for Alex. She made no secret about how much she adored him, and that just fueled the animosity between the boys. Karlo, remember the day Victor ran through our kitchen with Alex right behind him?　It was so funny to see this little half pint eight year old, chasing a boy almost twice his size and　five years older,　waving　an adult’s baseball bat."

Karlo reared back, howling with laughter. "I forgot all about that!" He turned to Fox. "Alex’s mother was having tea with Georgia, and Alex had come with her. He was in the front yard... looking for four leaf clovers, right, Alex?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"And Victor was riding by with a couple of friends on their bikes, on their way to a baseball game in the park. That boy never passed up an opportunity to torment Alex, so he stopped and started teasing him." He looked to Alex. "What was he saying?"

"He loved to call me shrimp, midget... stuff　like that.　He knew I hated it," Alex recalled. "He and his friends got off their bikes and started giving me a hard time. The more I told him to leave me alone, the more he teased me. He snatched my hat off my head, and they started playing keep away with it. It was a new hat, and I knew if it got dirty, my father was going to throw a fit. I made the mistake of saying so, and he tossed it into Aunt Georgia’s freshly turned garden. I ran to get it, and when I bent over to pick it up, he pushed me with his foot, and I went face first into the dirt. While they stood there laughing, I snatched Adam’s bat away　hit　Victor with it. I didn’t have enough time to get in a good hard swing, but it was enough to hurt." Alex’s smile grew a bit wider. "He came after me, and I swung again. He jumped back and yelled at his friends to help get the bat away from me, but I remember Adam saying that there was no way he was getting within swinging distance of that little animal. I guess that gave me more courage than I probably should have had, because I went after him, taking wild swings. He backed up a few steps, and when I kept going at him, he turned and ran toward the house. The front door was open, so he ran inside, and I followed. We didn’t get stopped until we hit the kitchen. My mother　caught Victor before he could reach the back yard, and Uncle Karlo picked me up and grabbed the bat."

"He was a wild little thing," Karlo chuckled. "Squirming and swinging at Victor. It took us about　five minutes to get enough control over the situation that we could find out what had happened. Alex, of course, had one story, and Victor had another. But Victor hadn’t counted on his friends being　a couple of stool pigeons. I brought them in and asked for their side of the story, and they confirmed Alex’s version. I think they were smart enough to be afraid of him."

"He had the sweetest little baby face. And he was a good boy normally, but when Victor got him riled up... he was downright nasty," Irene said.

"That sounds about right," Fox answered, grinning at the younger man. "So, what happened after that?"

"Uncle Karlo called Uncle Ivan and sent Victor home, and I had to stay in the house with my mother until she left. She didn’t tell my father about it, and a　couple of weeks　later, Victor paid me back for getting him punished."

"You got him punished?"

"In his view," Alex said. "He couldn’t play baseball for two weeks, and he had to go straight home from school. Gave him plenty of time to plot his revenge. The junior high got out earlier than the grammar school, and he waited for me in some bushes. When I walked by, he grabbed me,　wrestled me to the ground, and the same two idiots who’d ratted him out to Uncle Karlo, pulled my pants off, and all three of them took off.

I had to run home in my underwear. Four long blocks. As if the humiliation wasn’t enough, to top it all off, my father beat the hell out of me for losing my pants."

"But didn’t you tell him that Victor did it?"

"Oh, yeah. Apparently, it was still my fault."

Fox cocked his head. "How?"

"I don’t know. For... walking too close to the bushes? Letting three much bigger kids get the jump on me? You’d have to ask Iliia what his reasoning was." He went quiet for a moment then let out a short laugh. "Babushka fixed Victor, though. That Saturday, she made all the things we loved to eat, and made Victor sit there and watch Maria and me stuff ourselves. Then, just for good measure,　she made him take off his pants and walk home in his underwear."

Maria nodded, smirking. "Yeah, Babushka was a great believer in an eye for an eye. He never pulled that particular stunt again."

"No, but he found plenty of other ways to torture Alex," Irene said, "and he tried them all. I don’t think there were any five kids in the neighborhood combined who spent more time on punishment than Victor."

Alex’s family took turns telling stories for the next hour, then the inevitable subject of life after Lancaster came up.

"I know it may be an uncomfortable subject, and if you’ve changed your mind about telling us," Ivan said, "we’ll understand."

"No," Alex answered. "No, I said I’d tell you, and I will." He looked at Maria then to Raiza, who was several feet away, jumping from one stepping stone to the next. "But it isn’t exactly G-rated."

"Oh, and you know, I didn’t even think to try and get a sitter for later," Maria said.

"She can stay here tonight," Irene offered. "She can sleep in Victor’s room."

"You sure it’s no problem?"

"Goodness, of course not," Irene said. "Why don’t you skip home and pick up her pajamas and a change of clothes?"

Maria smiled at the woman. "Thanks, Aunt Irene. Hey, Raiza."

The dark curly head popped up, and the little girl answered.

"Huh?"

"We’re going to be here kind of late, so you’re going to spend the night with Aunt Irene and Uncle Ivan."

Raiza picked up her dolphin and ran over to her mother.

"I am?"

"Yeah. You can sleep in Uncle Victor’s room."

A bright smile lit the child’s face. "Okay!" The smile dropped quickly, followed by a look of panic. "Annie! We left Annie home!"

"I’ll go get her. I have to get you some clothes for tomorrow and a pair of pajamas, anyway."

The smile returned instantly.

"You want to stay here while I go, or do you want to come with me?"

Raiza backed against Alex. "I’ll stay here." Planting a hand on each knee, she lifted herself off her feet and swung back and forth between his spread legs.

"Okay, you behave." Maria grabbed her keys and got up. "I’ll be back in about half an hour." She left and was back some forty minutes later, carrying a small hot pink bag and Raiza’s doll. The little girl propped Annie up against the peach tree beside her dolphin to ‘watch’ while she played horse shoes with Alex, Fox and Ivan. At six　o’clock　they moved inside and ate again, then Maria got Raiza ready for bed. She let her stay up until eight, then announced that it was time for her to go upstairs. The child made the rounds, giving everyone a hug and kiss until she got to Alex and Fox.　Grabbing　each man’s　hand, she pulled.

"Can Uncle Alex and Uncle Fox put me to bed, Mummy?"

"Uh... " Maria suppressed a smirk. "Yeah. It’s okay with me if it’s okay with them."

"Yay! Come on!" Raiza pulled harder, urging both men to their feet.

Irene chuckled softly and motioned toward the stairs. "Second room on the left."

Alex lifted the child, putting her on Fox’s back, then he picked up her two friends.

"We’ll be back in a few."

Raiza released her strangle hold on Fox’s neck briefly to wave at her mother.

"Night, Mummy."

"Goodnight, honey."

"She adores them," Georgia observed, watching the men climb the stairs. "It’s too bad we live too far apart to visit　more than once every few months."

"I know, Maria sighed. "God, but could you imagine if we did live closer to each other? Victor would definitely lose it. I’m sure he’s already thinking that he’s going to lose Raiza to Alex."

"Oh, that child has enough love in her heart for everyone," Irene said.　

"I know that," Maria said. "But Victor wants desperately to top Alex just once. I wish he could understand that he doesn’t need to be in competition with him."

Upstairs, Raiza kicked her slippers off as Alex turned down the covers, and Fox set her down on　the bed.

"All right, peanut. Get under the blanket."

Raiza followed Fox’s instruction then arranged each toy on either side of her. Alex sat down on the edge of the bed and fixed the blanket around them.

"We’ll come by to see you tomorrow before we leave, okay?"

"Do you have to go so soon?" the girl whined. "You just got here!"

"I know, baby." Alex leaned in and kissed Raiza’s forehead. "But Uncle Fox has got to get back to work, and we’ll be in an awful lot of trouble if Miss Dana has to watch Clyde any longer. Maybe we’ll get to see each other around Thanksgiving or Christmas, and I’ll tell you what. You can call us any time you want, okay?"

Still unhappy about having to say goodbye so soon, Raiza pouted down at the bed. "Okay."

Alex glanced Fox’s way, and the older man raised his eyebrows, gesturing helplessly.

"Uh... all right." He didn’t know what else to say to make the child feel better. "Go to sleep now."

"Mummy usually reads me a story," Raiza mumbled. "But she didn’t put any of my books in my bag."

"And I don’t think we’re going to find anything to read around here," Alex said, looking around.

"Okay, so we make up a story," Fox said, taking a seat on the other side of the bed.

Alex gave him a perplexed look. "We do?"

"Sure. How hard can it be?　All right. Uh... " He shrugged. "Okay. Once upon a time, there was a prince named... Fox. Fox was the smartest, funniest, nicest, most handsome man in aaaall the land."

Alex closed his eyes and tilted his head back, grimacing.

"Oh, God."

"I was getting ready to go up and see if she’d tied your shoe laces to the bed or something," Maria said as Alex and Fox entered the living room.

The men took a seat side by side on the empty one of the room’s two sofas, facing the three women. Ivan　was seated　in his recliner, and Karlo settled into the remaining chair.

"Fox was telling her a bedtime story."

Maria raised a hand to her mouth. "Uh oh," she murmured. "I forgot to bring a book. So, what’d you do, Fox? Did you just make something up?"

"Yeah."

Alex shook his head and said nothing.

"Hey, she went for it." Fox　nudged Alex.　"Maybe I should write children’s books, huh?"

"Yeah, babe," Alex said in a flat tone. "That’d be great."

Fox uttered a disgusted grunt and said nothing more.

"Anyway," Alex breathed. "Guess we’d better get this show on the road. It isn’t getting any earlier, and this is one long story."

"Take your time, sweetheart," Irene said. "We don’t want you to feel rushed. We want to know about your life. We want to understand all you’ve been through."

"All of it?"

"Yes... if you want to tell us."

Alex took a long breath and nodded.

"All right. You asked for it."

Over half an hour in, Alex could see the looks on his relatives’ faces　go from curious to shocked. His voice started to falter, and then he went silent. Ivan saw the pain in his nephew’s eyes, and he put his　dismay in check to comfort the younger man.

"Alex... what you’re telling us is difficult. It’s... it’s... shocking. But I know I speak for everyone when I　tell you　that nothing you say here is going to change how we feel about you. We’re your family, and we are not going to desert you."

It took Alex several seconds before he lifted his head and met Ivan’s eyes. "Thank you Uncle," he said just above a whisper. Before he continued, he looked hesitantly around the room. Clearly staggered, the others　stared back, and each tried to give him a reassuring smile. Lastly, he looked to Fox, who grasped his hand and lifted it to his lips. "It’s okay," the older man whispered. "Go on."

Alex cleared his throat and continued his story. At twelve-thirty, they took a break, and Irene got up to make some coffee. Karlo took the opportunity to　pose a question.

"I want to ask you, Alex... I don’t know how to... how did you feel? Having done all these unspeakable things? I don’t mean how do you feel now; clearly you deeply regret it, but... how did you feel then? While you were doing them?"

Alex drew a long breath and let it out. "I can’t tell you that I enjoyed it, and I can’t say that it absolutely repulsed me, either. I was... I felt nothing."

"How?"

"I just turned it off."

"You were a lively, sweet, compassionate boy," Georgia said. "How do you go from that to emotionless? Something must have happened to cause it."

Alex lowered his eyes.

"I would ask if your down turn started after your mother’s death, but I remember you becoming quieter and more sullen even before that. Was it your father? Was he just too much to take?"

"He was overly strict, and his punishments over the top, but I can’t blame him for my life. My choices were my own." Alex looked at Fox, gaining the courage he needed from his husband’s loving gaze. "But in answer to your observation, Aunt Georgia... things did... they did change while I was in high school, and I... as deeply as I buried what had happened, I suppose it did still have an effect on me."

Georgia looked to Irene, who had just come back in with the　coffee tray.　"I knew it." Her gaze went back to Alex. "I told them something was wrong, but your parents just chalked it up to high school boy hormones."

"They never wanted to dig too deep, it seemed," Alex said. "My father was never the touchy feely type, but you know that, and as far as my mother goes... I just don’t think she was emotionally equipped... could have been from dealing with him all those years. When she saw me withdrawing too far into myself, Babushka would take me aside and tell me how much she loved me, and that I could talk to her about anything at all. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t tell her what had happened to me. I couldn’t tell anyone."

"Alex... you’re scaring me," Maria whispered. "What happened?"

Alex pressed his lips together as he held Fox’s hand tightly. His nostrils flared as he sucked in a shaky breath. He let it out through his mouth, then he made his confession to the floor.

"I was raped."

"Oh, God," Georgia sobbed, clamping her hand over her mouth.

"You didn’t tell us that, that night," Maria said, on the verge of tears.

"I know."

Ivan sat forward in his chair, and his voice shook with shock and anger.

"Who did it?"

The rest of the family sat in mute horror as they waited for an answer.

"Nobody any of you knows. These guys who were at a party one night. They were bothering Pete. Remember Pete?"

"He... your friend who killed himself, right?" Maria asked.

Alex looked down and nodded. "I defended him. They backed down, and I thought that was that. But they caught up to us later. We were walking home. They jumped us. Took us out to the woods and... " He didn’t finish the sentence and instead, started　another. "We never talked about it after that night. Maybe if we had, he wouldn’t have felt the need to take his own life... I don’t know. Anyway... I’d never spoken of it to anyone before Fox. And no one since. Until now."

Each woman sat with tears running silently down her face. Karlo was up out of his chair, pacing, and Ivan remained perched on the edge of his chair, looking down at his folded hands.

"I guess　after that is when　I started learning to turn my emotions off.　When Mama died and then Babushka, it became even easier. When I　graduated from the academy and no one came, it just enforced the feeling that I was all alone in the world.　From there, it wasn’t such a big leap into the Consortium. I learned all they had to teach me, and I learned well. I became an asset to them. Their go-to guy. It wasn’t until they’d partnered me with Fox that things started getting confusing.

"When I’d seen him　for the first time at Quantico, something had　happened to me. This feeling　had come　over me that by that time was so completely alien, I didn’t know what to do with it. I thought about him constantly. Found out who he was... learned all I could about him. I guess you could say I was a bit obsessed. They had no idea the hell they were unleashing when they came to me with that special assignment. They started the ball rolling, so to speak, and things were never the same."

Alex recounted his brief partnership with Fox and the years after, and then that night when his life was irrevocably changed. Without going into　any really personal detail, Alex recalled the events of that night in Fox’s apartment and the aftermath of the following weeks leading up to the morning that he awakened on Scully’s couch to find Fox there.

"I tried," he said. "I asked him to let me leave. I tried to make him. He wasn’t having it. I let him talk me into staying. I let him convince me that it would be all right... I went to the smoking man and told him I was out. I told him that as long as Fox and I and Scully remained safe, he would be safe. He knew it was true, and he knew that he had no choice but to agree. That agreement holds to this day."

Alex pulled Fox’s hand to his chest and held it there with both hands.

"The night that I went back to Fox’s apartment, he wasn’t there. Scully was, though, standing in the middle of his living room, holding her gun on me. She　made all these cryptic comments, alluding to something really bad. I kept asking her to tell me what was wrong, and finally she said it. He had been shot in the parking garage of his building, and she was sure that I had pulled the trigger. She wanted me to admit it before she killed me."

Irene’s eyes grew wider. "Would she really have　shot you?" she asked.

"Yes," Alex said without hesitation. "... I remember feeling as though the floor had dropped out from under me. I grabbed onto the back of a chair to keep myself upright, and I told her that if he was dead, to do it. I wanted her to kill me."

Georgia gasped her nephew’s name softly.

"If he was gone, I had nothing left to live for," Alex said matter-of-factly. "Scully realized that I wasn’t faking the state her news had put me in, and she ended up telling me that Fox was alive but in critical condition. She allowed me to go to the hospital and see him. I walked into his room in the ICU, and up to that point in my life, I’d never felt agony like that. We didn’t know if he’d live or die, and it was all my fault. If I’d just been strong enough to stay away from him, I thought, he wouldn’t have ended up like that.

"I stayed with him for a little while, begged him to fight, and then I left. I knew that the people who had tried to get rid of me were the same ones who had tried to take Fox out, and I went straight to Cancerman　to find out why he hadn’t neutralized them. He said he had taken care of them, but not soon enough. There was one left, though. One that he’d had a little difficulty tracking down. It was the shooter. He’d finally found out where he was, and was going to take care of him. I told him to back off and just tell me where he was."

"What did you do?" Karlo asked in a hushed tone.

"... What I had to do," Alex answered softly.

Ivan slowly let out the breath he’d been holding.

"Then I dropped out of sight."

"You didn’t go back to the hospital?" Ivan asked.

"No. I kept in touch with Scully, checking in on him, and when he woke up nearly a week later, I broke all contact. It was my intention to disappear back into the woodwork and give him a chance at a decent life. I should have left the state. I should have... but I couldn’t. I stayed out of sight, but I kept an eye on him... torturing myself. Only thoughts of what had happened kept me from going back. I started drinking to try and deaden the pain, but it didn’t work. I kept at it, though. Then, one night over five months later, I was coming out of a bar, and some guy was trying to hit on me. I was in the middle of telling him to get lost, when I heard this voice calling my name." Alex glanced at Fox, who was looking down at the coffee table in front of them.

"How did you find him, Fox?"　Irene asked quietly.

"Pure accident. I couldn’t sleep, and I decided to go out for a drive... and I saw him standing outside of this bar on the other side of town," Fox murmured and said nothing more.

"I　couldn’t turn around," Alex continued. "My legs felt like rubber. My heart felt like it was going to pound out of my chest. It wasn’t until he’d called my name again that I regained the ability to move. I turned around, and there he was," Alex croaked. "My beautiful Fox. He was so thin. His eyes sunken in and dark underneath, his skin pale. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t think... he asked me where I’d been all those months. All I could do was apologize. Then he asked me to go home with him so we could talk... get everything straightened out. For him it was just that easy. Even after all that time. For me... " Alex shook his head. "He’d almost died because of me. Because of my weakness.　I’d convinced myself that I wasn’t at all what he’d needed, and though I knew in my head what I had to do, my heart was screaming. How could I not take the opportunity he was offering me?"

The room was quiet as a tomb.

"But I had to turn him down. I had to stand there and look into the eyes of the man I loved more than life, and tell him that we were finished."

The tears began dropping from Maria’s eyes again. Had Alex not been sitting right there beside Fox, married to the man, she would have cried like a baby and not stopped　until Tuesday.

"He wouldn’t accept it. He refused. And I had to break his heart into a million pieces to finally drive the message home." Alex pressed his lips together and stared down at his leg.

"What did you do?" Irene asked through the hand she held over her mouth.

"... The man who’d been hitting on me was still there. I told Fox that I’d started a new life without him, and that I was just getting ready to leave with the guy. Then I told him to take care of himself, and I walked away."

"Oh, God," Maria gasped. "You didn’t go into all this detail before. How much more heartbreaking can this get?"

Attention still on his leg, Alex raised and lowered his eyebrows. "I don’t know how I made it around the corner without dropping to my knees, they were shaking so badly. But I did. I got rid of the other guy, and I went back to my apartment. Cried myself to sleep, and when I woke up a few hours later, I made the decision to leave. That night, I had packed a bag and was on my way out, when the elevator opened, and I came face to face with Scully. She’d had Langly Byers and Frohike out since Saturday morning, looking for me. Anyway, she told me that Fox was really sick, it was my fault, and basically, that I was　damn stupid if I thought that staying away was doing anybody any good, least of all him.　She said he needed me, and that I　needed to come back with her.

"We left, and about twenty minutes later, I was walking back into his apartment after swearing to myself that I never would again. He was asleep on the couch, and burning up with fever. He’d not been eating or sleeping much those past five months. He’d lost a lot of weight, and his resistance was low. He’d spent hours out on his front step in the cold after I’d walked away from him that morning, and it was enough to make him very sick. We spent the night dragging him in and out of cool showers and baths. He was in and out of consciousness, and he was delirious. He’d finally settled down sometime near morning, and when he woke, his fever was down, and he was lucid.

"He didn’t know that I was there. When I walked into his bedroom, it was far from a joyful reunion. He didn’t remember that I was there the night before. All he knew was that I’d left him standing outside of that bar, and walked away with another man. He thought that guilt had me there, and that I would be going back to my boyfriend. It was damn near impossible　to convince him that I’d never been with anyone else, that I didn’t want anyone else,　and that I was there for the duration. He fought me at every turn.

"I couldn’t blame him for it.　His heart was shattered, and it　was going to take　more than I thought I had to put it back together. He’d been having terrible nightmares. He’d developed serious physical and emotional problems, and the blame for it all rested squarely on my shoulders. There was one particularly rough confrontation between us, and I came very close to giving up, but thankfully, Scully showed up and gave us both a good hard kick in the butt. That proved to be a turning point. He stopped giving me a hard time, we started patching things up, and then the real extent of his problems surfaced.

"I didn’t think staying around the place where so much bad had happened was going to help, so I decided to take him away to someplace quiet. Someplace he could relax and get better."

"Are you talking about that two month vacation?" Irene asked. Alex nodded.

"Things started out okay... finally it looked like we were on the right track, then I went and screwed things up again."

Georgia　looked up, throwing her hands in the air.

"How?"

Alex shook his head. "It’s kinda personal to get into. I’ll just say that I wasn’t thinking. I did something that wouldn’t ordinarily be a huge deal, but Fox’s state was so fragile... I should have known better. It undid all the good that had been done, and I thought that was it. I thought it was over. The next night it all came to a head. We had a big blow out on the beach, and everything came out. Turns out it was the best thing that could have happened. The fear, their physical manifestations... they went away." Alex　gently shook Fox’s hand back and forth then kissed his knuckles.　"And that night we found us.

"Scully came out for Christmas, but we spent New Year’s alone. We came back home soon after, and we started looking for a house. We found our place, what, lisa... like two months after we started searching?"

Fox nodded. "Yeah. ‘Bout nine weeks."

"In the meantime, Fox decided to tell　his mother　about us. I cooked a nice meal, and she came over. All through dinner, she thought I was a good friend. When he told her who I was, she flipped. Went up one side of us and down the other, and she stormed out."

"And she hasn’t been in your life since?"　Georgia asked.

"No," Fox answered. "She’ll never forgive me for loving another man."

"I’m so sorry, sweetheart," Georgia sighed. "You boys have both been through so much. So... you found your house."

"We did.　It was exactly what we wanted, in a great neighborhood, so we jumped on it. Not too long after we moved in, we got Clyde, and everything was great."

"I sense an ‘until’ coming," Ivan said warily.

"Yeah. Uh... when Fox and I were in the Bahamas, we ran into this man one night at a club. Older. Rich. He hit on us both.　 We told him to get lost. We never dreamed we’d see him again, but a couple of years later, Fox was in New York on a case, and so was this man. He spotted Fox, apparently, and found out who he was and where he lived. He showed up one day at our next door neighbors’, threw a ton of cash at them, and bought their house to spy on us. He tracked our comings and goings, all without our knowledge, and one day while Fox was at work, he had me snatched out of our yard."

"What?"　A chorus of shocked voices filled the air.

"I was kidnapped and held prisoner in a steel cage for a few days."

"What the hell for?" Karlo shouted.

Alex moistened his lower lip. "... You uh... you remember I said he was a rich man. He was a very rich man who got anything and everything he wanted. He decided he wanted me."

"So he just... took you?"

"Yes. I wasn’t the first, though. There was another. A younger man. He wasn’t locked up like I was. He’d been... trained. Saint James thought he was going to train me. When things didn’t go the way he’d planned, he um... he punished me."

Georgia stared in horror, almost afraid to know, but she asked anyway.

"What does that mean?"

"He wanted, for all intents and purposes, a slave. Someone to look good on　his arm... someone to cater to him... do anything he wanted,　how he wanted,　whenever he wanted.　 When I... rebelled, he chained me to the bed inside the cage, and he whipped me. And he drugged me. And when none of that worked, he sent his little pet... Matthew, in to... " Alex stopped and bit down on the corner of his lower lip. His family waited in silence, dreading the end of the sentence. Alex leaned into Fox, needing the comfort of his warmth. His husband cupped his cheek and brushed a tender kiss across his forehead, and he took an unsteady breath and went on.

"... It... wasn’t the same as... before.　Wasn’t what you would consider to be the traditional definition, but it amounted to the same thing." Alex pressed his lips together for a moment. "... Matthew raped me."

Shoulders slumped, eyes closed, and no one said a word.

"I’d been　lightly sedated　beforehand, and I was　asleep when Saint James sent Matthew in. He sat outside the cage and watched. I started coming out of it when... but not soon enough. I couldn’t stop him, I couldn’t stop... anything. And um... he was there. Watching. He tortured me with it. Said he’d taped the whole thing, and that he was going to send it to Fox." Alex nodded slowly. "He would have done it. I imagined Fox getting that tape in the mail, and I... it sent me　over the edge. I thrashed and struggled against the restraints. I wanted so much to kill him. But　I couldn’t get loose.　He came in and shot me up with another sedative. The next thing I knew, I was waking up in the hospital, and Fox was there.

"He’d been searching, of course, since he realized that I was gone. He’d rounded up Scully and the Gunmen, and with their help, he found me."

"This awful man is in prison now, I hope," Georgia breathed.

"... No."

Karlo’s mouth dropped open. "No? You’re not telling us that this lunatic is still out there somewhere."

"No. He’s not."

All eyes went to Fox, and his expression told them everything they needed to know.

Georgia blinked and turned back to Alex.

"What... what about the other one? The young man?"

"He was checked out at the hospital then returned to his family."

"After what he did?"

"He was a victim too.　A scared kid who learned to do exactly as he was told, or he’d face the most horrible punishments. He didn’t deserve my anger. I can say that now. I couldn’t then. After the hospital, Fox took me home. That should have been the end of it. It should have been over, and we should have finally had some peace.　But if you haven’t guessed by now, few good things happen for us without a lot of pain first.

"I started having nightmares. He tortured me in my dreams. Said things... the sting of his belt was as real as it had been when I was in that cage... I fought back. And not once, but twice I woke up to find that　I’d almost killed my Fox."

"What? Irene gasped. "How?"

"The first time I almost choked him to death. He was trying to wake me, and I grabbed him, thinking he was Saint James. Clyde’s barking woke me up. The second time, he had gone away on a case. He came back early... in the middle of the night, to surprise me. I had taken my gun to bed that night... I’d become really insecure about being alone, and... anyway, I was dreaming when he came in. He leaned over me to wake me, and I put my gun in his face. I was still asleep, and I could so easily have pulled the trigger. But I woke myself up. He tried to convince me that things would be okay from there on out.　I wanted so badly to believe it. I wanted　for things to go back to normal.　To feel like myself again." Alex’s voice softened considerably. "I wanted to go back to being the man he’d fallen in love with.　Strong. Self-assured.　I thought burying　my feelings　would be the best way to cope, but it was the worst thing I could have done. I did reckless things. Took stupid chances all in the interest of proving that I was still the man I was before it happened.

"Fox was worried. He begged me to face my fears. I denied they existed. Those discussions usually ended up in some pretty big fights. Then one day a letter came. It was from Matthew. He was under a therapist’s care, and it was suggested that as part of his therapy, he write me. He asked for a meeting. I wouldn’t hear of it, and I　demanded that　Fox throw　the letter away. I took off for a while with Clyde, and when I came back, I found that he’d pulled it out of the garbage. He thought it might be a good idea to meet with Matthew, and I flipped out on him. I accused him of wanting to hurt me. I　hated myself for saying　it, but I still wasn’t ready to admit that anything was wrong. We fought again the next morning, and I took off. I ended up in a scrape with some of the smoker’s men and was dragged to　a motel, where he made me an offer to rejoin him.　 All those times I thought I had slipped in and out of his offices unnoticed, I was wrong. He knew. And it led him to the very correct assumption that something was wrong. He didn’t know exactly what it was, but he thought it be to his advantage to find out if I might be willing to come back into the fold. I told him what he could do with his offer, and he backed off. He called Fox to tell him where he could find me.

"After he took me to the hospital to get checked out, we went home. But on the way, the voice I’d been hearing more and more in my head... Saint James’ voice... it taunted me. It wouldn’t stop. I couldn’t make it. I went out into the yard that night... in my sleep. With my gun, searching for things that weren’t there. It was pouring. Fox woke up and went looking for me, and when he found me, I almost shot him... again. He called my name, and I woke. He brought me into the house and begged me to tell him what was happening. This time I did. I admitted it all, and he asked me to reconsider my refusal to see Matthew." Alex turned his head,　gazing lovingly at his husband. "He　would never ever do anything purposely　to hurt me. In my heart I knew it, even if my mind was more than a bit scrambled. I agreed to the meeting.

"The date　was set, and Matthew and his therapist came. We had two meetings. It was hard. Very hard. I didn’t leave that last meeting with a heart overflowing with forgiveness. I still hated Matthew for what he’d done.　But　forgiveness did come. I wrote him a letter, telling him that I was, once and for all, done with letting memories of him and Saint James haunt me. I told him that I forgave him, and that I was taking my life back. And I did. I married the love of my life and... here we are."

Silence prevailed for several minutes, then Ivan spoke up, as close to tears as Alex had ever seen him.

"I can’t tell you, nephew, how my heart breaks for the agony you’ve known. And I can’t help but feel that if we, your family, had not bent to your father’s will and kept you close to us, the things that have happened in your life　might not have. I hope you can forgive us."

Alex stared, stunned at his uncle’s words.

"Uncle... what you say is true, only in that a different life　might well have　influenced the choices I’d made. But the blame for it not being so, is not yours to shoulder." He looked around at the others. "Any of you. I love you all; and I can’t tell you how grateful I am that you’ve accepted me back into your lives."

All at once, Alex’s relatives rose to their feet. Alex and Fox followed, and Fox stood by, smiling through the threat of tears as each family member embraced Alex in turn. When Irene released her nephew, she turned and held her hand out to Fox.

"Don’t think you’re getting away so easy," she sniffed. "Come here."

Hesitantly, Fox took the woman’s hand and was pulled into the midst of　his husband’s　family, where he was showered with hugs and expressions of gratitude for his presence in Alex’s life.

"It’s all of you who deserve the thanks," Fox said to the group. "You’ve sat through a tremendously difficult story and given Alex your understanding and compassion. You’ve given him his family back. Given him a happiness he never thought he’d know,　and for that I’ll always be grateful."

Ivan stepped forward and planted his hands on Fox’s shoulders.

"We’re more than just Alex’s family, Fox. We’re yours too. We mean that sincerely."

Fox’s mouth trembled into a hint of a smile.

"That means so much to me, Ivan. Thank you."

The older man　smirked and lightly tapped Fox’s cheek. "That’s Uncle Ivan to you."

The smile turned into a wide grin as Fox nodded.

"Okay... Uncle."

The men　stayed a while longer, answering stray questions and promising to call often as they completed another round of hugs. At two o’clock, they left the house, and Alex turned left at the end of the block instead of going right.

"Hey, shouldn’t we have..."

"I know. I just... I wanted to show you where I lived."

Fox went quiet, watching Alex’s face as he made one more turn then slowed down when he got to the middle of the long block. He came to a stop in front of a modest colonial, set back about thirty-five feet from the street. He stared at the quiet house for some time then took a long breath.

"I feel like I just stepped back fifteen years in time."

Saying nothing, Fox reached across the seat and stroked the back of Alex’s head. The younger man’s eyes closed for a moment, then his lashes lifted, and he turned to face his husband.

"I don’t think I can do it." He looked back at the house and shook his head. "I can’t."

"Okay," Fox said softly. "It’s okay, baby. It’s late. You wanna head back now?"

Alex put the car in gear and pulled away from the curb, unaware that anyone knew he’d been there. Inside the house he’d been looking at, Iliia stood in the window of his second floor bedroom and watched the car that he’d seen come down the street just minutes before. He watched the vehicle roll to a stop, idling for several minutes at the curb, then pull slowly away. He stared down into the street for a while after, imagining that the driver’s door had opened, and the man he’d seen in Maria’s pictures had stepped out and walked up to the front door. But as the car disappeared into the darkness, so did his thoughts of seeing his son.

"Iliia?" Natalie’s soft voice broke the silence. "Iliia, what are doing?"

"I woke up. Couldn’t go back to sleep."

"Do you want me to get you something? Tea? Warm milk?"

"No."

Tired eyes shifted from Natalie back to the window.

"What are you looking at?"

Iliia let the curtain drop back into place. "... Nothing."

"It’s very late. You should try to go back to sleep."

Iliia shuffled to the bed and got in, pulling the sheet up to his shoulders, and he stared up at the ceiling until his eyes finally closed sometime near dawn.

Fox dried his toothbrush and put it into its traveling case. When he gathered up all of his and Alex’s toiletries, he exited the bathroom and dropped the items on the bed in front of the open bag.

"You hungry?" he asked, directing his question at the back of Alex’s head. The man at the window turned halfway to answer.

"Not really. You?"

"What I am is tired. If I had slept the whole six hours we were in bed, I’d be okay, but you were so restless. How do you feel?"

Alex shrugged. "I’m awake," he murmured.

Fox finished packing their things, then he crossed his arms over his chest and studied his pensive husband.

"You wanna talk about what kept you up all that time?"

"Just thinking," Alex told the window.

"About?"

"... I don’t really have to say it, do I?"

"No, I suppose not." Fox approached and slid his hands up over Alex’s shoulders. Massaging gently, he nuzzled the back of the sable head. "You’ll feel better when you’re not so close."

Saying nothing, Alex covered one of Fox’s hands with his own, and he continued to stare out the window.

"Good morning, dear."

"Morning, Aunt Natalie."

"You sound tired."

"Didn’t get to bed until almost three."

"Insomnia?"

"No, we were at Uncle Ivan’s until after two."

"Oh, my goodness. Everyone?"

"Yeah. Alex told us his story."

"Must have been a pretty long one."

"It was. Long and incredible. He told Victor and me some of it the night we located him, and he said that there was lots more, and it basically got worse, but I could never have imagined."

"Really? That bad?"

"Harrowing. It could be a series of movies."

"Really."

"I wish you had been there, because I really don’t know if he’d want to go through the pain of telling it all again. Uh... where’s Uncle Illia?"

"He’s lying down. He didn’t sleep well at all last night."

"I see." Maria sighed. "Oh, Aunt Natalie; I so wish Uncle would change his attitude. Alex insisted last night that no one is to blame for the way his life turned out after he left home, but... forgive me. I think if Uncle Iliia had been more tuned in to his son, some of what happened very well may not have, and the rest of us aren’t　innocent in this　either. Uncle Ivan was right when he said that we were wrong to have allowed　Uncle Iliia　to bully us into letting Alex slip away from us."

"I couldn’t agree more, Maria, and I’ve told your uncle that. But I can only do so much, unfortunately. It’s a fine line I have to walk."

"I know. And you deserve an award for having done it all these years."

Natalie chuckled softly. "He’s no walk in the park, that’s for sure. He’s a good man at heart, dear, and I do believe that he wants to be close to his son. He just... he doesn’t know how. I think it’s what had him up this morning, though I don’t think I’d be able to get him to admit it."

"It’s just so crazy to think that Alex is so close by, and they aren’t going to see each other. How many more years might go by? Or, God forbid, what if Uncle Iliia goes to his grave without ever having made up with Alex? It breaks my heart to think of that happening. It’s so unnecessary."

"I don’t know how to make Iliia see that," Natalie said, her tone saturated with hopelessness. I’ve tried every way I know how."

"He’s got to be the one," Maria concluded. "He has to start it. He’s made Alex feel so unwanted, I can’t blame him if he never wanted to initiate a meeting."

"If that’s what we’re waiting for, I’m afraid that he will never see or talk to his son again... when are they leaving?"

"They’re stopping back by here, and their flight is at three - thirty."

"Well, it’s... eleven now. What time do you expect them?"

"Not sure. I had left Raiza at Ivan and Irene’s, but I picked her up about an hour ago so she could see them one more time. I’m guessing I’ll see them within the next hour or so."

"Are you going to talk to him? Find out what his intentions are?"

"I’m pretty sure I know what they are, but I will try to talk to him. Don’t count on a positive outcome, though."

"No, I won’t."

"By the way, have you seen Victor?"

"Not since day before yesterday at your place."

"He must be brooding. Well... he’ll get over it. Call me when you can, and I’ll let you know how it went with Alex."

"All right, honey. In case I don’t see them before they leave, please give them each a hug for me, and wish them a safe trip home."

"I will. Talk to you later."

Maria hung up and closed her eyes, trying to massage away the start of a major headache.

Alex sat at the stop sign, just two blocks from Maria’s apartment. A mile and a half from his father’s house. The car he had stopped for drove past, and still he sat there at the intersection.

"Babe?" Fox looked at the younger man, head　cocked　at a slight angle. "It’s clear."

"... Yeah."

Alex slowly accelerated and continued on to Maria’s. Parking in front of her building, he got out of the car in silence and accompanied Fox to the door. Fox pressed the button, and seconds later, an enthusiastic little voice welcomed them inside. They rode side by side on the elevator and walked down the hall, where Raiza met them halfway.

Leaping into Alex’s arms, the little girl threw her arms around him then leaned over to hug and kiss Fox. Maria met them at the door, and they weren’t inside for more than ten minutes, when Alex turned and looked at Fox. The older man stared at him for a second and waited.

"Lisa... would you mind staying here with Maria and Raiza for a little while?"

"... You’re sure?"

Alex took in a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"Yeah. Yeah, I... I need to face him alone."

Maria’s mouth parted slightly as understanding dawned.

"... Is that okay?"

"Of course it is," Fox said, running his fingers through Alex’s hair. "As long as you’re sure you’ll be okay."

Alex gave his husband a wary smile.

"I’m not sure of that at all. I just don’t want you caught in the fallout if there’s a big explosion."

"Alex..."

"I know, I know. It’s just... this is liable to be messy enough, y’know?"

"I know. But do me a favor? Don’t stand there and take a whole lot of abuse that you don’t have to. If it gets too bad, walk away."

Alex looked down.

"Baby?"

"Okay." Green eyes lifted to muddy brown ones.

Brown equaled　worried.

Alex moved in for a tender kiss, and then he wrapped his arms around Fox, hugging him tightly.

"I’ll be okay. I　love you," he whispered, making a stab at reassurance.

"I love you," Fox answered just as softly, then he released the younger man.

Maria gave her cousin an encouraging if nervous smile, then he squatted in　front of Raiza.

"Do me a favor?"

"’Kay. What?"

"Take good care of Uncle Fox, all right? I gotta go do something, and he’s going to stay here with you until I come back."

"Okay. He can play hairdresser with Annie and me."

"Sounds like a blast," Alex said, smiling at Fox as he rose to his feet. He planted one more quick kiss on the older man’s mouth, then he turned and walked out before he lost his nerve.

Maria stared after her cousin, shocked at his seemingly sudden decision. When the door closed behind him, she turned to Fox.

"It doesn’t seem as though you knew that this was going to happen."

"I don’t think Alex knew it himself." Fox sighed heavily, planting his hands on his hips as he looked at the floor.

"Should I call Natalie and let her know he’s coming?"

"I... it can’t hurt, I guess."

Maria turned to get the phone, and Raiza took the opportunity to commandeer Fox’s attention.

"Let’s play, Uncle Fox."

"Yeah... okay, peanut," Fox said, distracted by Maria’s call as Raiza grabbed his hand and pulled him toward her little table and chairs in the corner of the room.

"Sit down," the child instructed as she put her doll in the other chair and her dolphin on the table.

"There?"

"Uh huh."

"I’m not so sure that’s a good idea, kiddo. I might break it."

"Uncle Victor sits in them, and they don’t break."

So much for that argument.

"... Okay... " Fox lowered himself the considerable distance to the little white seat and settled himself gently.

"He may be right back," Maria said, walking over to where Fox sat. "I got no answer."

"I guess we’ll see then, huh?" Fox frowned as Raiza dragged a box out from under the table and started pulling out brushes, play scissors and pink curlers. Maria tried to suppress a smile.

"Oh, you’re going to get the full treatment, Uncle Fox," she informed him as Raiza began brushing his hair.

"Goody. Hey, Raiza? Uh... does Uncle Victor get his hair done too?"

"Kinda. But it’s not long enough to put in curlers. Yours is long enough."

"Lucky, lucky me." Fox looked up at Maria. "Why don’t you try again, just in case?"

Maria nodded and pressed re-dial.

"Okay, okay," Natalie bustled up the cellar stairs with her load of clean laundry and headed toward the door. As she passed the phone on the end table, it began to　ring. "Oh, my goodness." Picking up the phone, she headed for the door.

"Hello?"

"Aunt Natalie. You are home."

"Yes, hang on, Maria." Natalie reached the door and opened it up. Maria could hear her gasp as she stared at the man who stood on the other side of the screen door.

"Alex." She stood frozen for a moment, then unlatched the door and swung it open. "Maria... I’ll have to call you back."

"He’s there?"

"Is that why you’re calling?"

"Yeah. Well... call me later. Good luck."

Natalie nodded as if the woman on the other end could see her, and she disconnected. Stepping back, she　motioned for　Alex to come　in.

"I didn’t think you’d come," she said in a hushed tone, watching　her stepson　enter the house that hadn’t been his home in many, many years.

"That makes two of us," Alex said, trying to give the woman a smile.

"He’s out back on the patio, working on his puzzle."

Alex nodded and looked around in silence.

"It probably doesn’t look too much different from before. Fresh coat of　paint. Some new wall paper and furniture. No major changes."

"Yeah."

"Uh... are you ready?"

"As I’ll ever be, I guess."

Natalie took Alex’s hand and led him through the house. Stopping at the screen slider, she looked back at Alex for permission to open the door. His mouth twitched into a smile, and she pulled it open.

"... Iliia."

"Yes, I took my pill. Stop nagging me, woman."

"Iliia."

Sighing heavily, the old man turned in his seat and stopped cold as his eyes went immediately to the tall figure behind his wife. The two stared at each other for several seconds, then Iliia turned around and slowly　reorganized a few of his puzzle pieces.

"Iliia, your son has come to see you," Natalie said firmly. "Talk to him." When she turned to Alex, her eyes were filled with kindness as she patted his hand and walked away.

Alex couldn’t remember a time when he’d experienced a more uncomfortable silence. But he gathered his courage and took two steps out onto the patio.

"... Hello."

Iliia found a place for the piece he held then looked the puzzle over.

"... I heard you were here."

Alex crossed his arms over his chest and looked at the floor.

"Yeah."

"Never thought you’d set foot through this door again."

"... Neither did I." More silence. Then, "How are you feeling?"

"As well as can be expected, I suppose."

Alex took two more steps, stopping　less than three feet away from his father.

"Natalie says you haven’t been well."

"Does she?" Iliia picked up another piece. Giving no answer, he put that piece down and picked up another.

Alex shifted from one foot to the other then back again as his gaze flitted uneasily around the yard then came to rest on the table.

"You still like puzzles."

No response.

Alex bit down on his lower lip and looked away. Iliia glanced his way then returned his attention to the puzzle.

"Why are you here?"

"... You know, I’m not so sure," Alex answered honestly. "I hadn’t any intention of coming until just a little while ago. I thought I... I thought I’d try."

"Try... after how many years?"

It was Alex’s turn not to give an answer.

"You’ve been quite busy, I hear. Assassinations... espionage... all the things to make a father proud."

Alex blinked and turned, facing slightly away from the elder Krycek.

"And now you’ve gone and got yourself tangled up with another man. The icing on the cake."

"I make no excuses for my former life," Alex said softly. "But that’s behind me. My present and future are what matter now."

"Yes. This... abomination you’re calling a marriage."

For the first time since walking in, Alex　had to fight back a bubble of anger.

"I am married. To a man I love　with my whole heart and soul."

Iliia grunted in disgust. "Where is this Mr. Wonderful?"　he asked. "Why did you not bring him with you?"

"Because I knew you wouldn’t be kind. And he’s done nothing to deserve your animosity."

"Shrinking violet, is he? Were you afraid I might hurt his fragile feelings?"

"He’s a strong, intelligent, confident man, who can hold his own against anyone.　But it was my decision for him to stay behind. I know how cruel you can be, and I love him too much to subject him to it."

"You always did have that opinion of me."

"It wasn’t unfounded."

"And　because of　that,　you left home and never returned?"

"What did I have to return to?" Alex asked. "I had become invisible the day my mother died." His composure started to slip. "And after Babushka passed away, you had completely written me off, and I don’t even know why.　So, you　tell me. What reason did I have to come back?"

"You’re my son," Iliia snapped. "It is your duty to..."

Alex cut him off.

"Duty! Oh, please." He shook his head, glaring at the older man.　"Don’t talk to me about duty."

"So. You think I failed in my duties as a father."

Alex stared and said nothing.

"And I suppose you blame me for all the　damage you’ve done, and all the harm that’s been visited upon you　in the　last several years."

"There are people out there with the best of parents, who end up going wrong. I’ve got no one to blame for all that’s happened but myself. But you were not a good father to me." He　never thought he’d have the opportunity or the nerve to actually speak his mind. But while he was at it... his chin took on a defiant tilt. "... And I want to know why."

"What color would you like?"

"Color?"

"Uh　huh." Raiza rolled the third curler into Fox’s hair. "Nail polish."

Fox sent a panicked looked in Maria’s direction.

"Don’t worry, it’s not real."

"Okay. That would have been a tough one to explain to Alex."

Before Maria could respond, the buzzer sounded.

"Oh, boy. That was fast, wasn’t it?"

Fox groaned softly as Maria hit the button. "Come on up." She opened the door　halfway then walked　back to Fox with her hands cupping her cheeks.

A short while later,　Victor strolled in, smiling when he saw Fox.

"Well... hello again."

"What the he-... " Maria censored herself then started again. "What are you doing here?"

"You know,　you’re going to give me a complex if you keep greeting me　that way. Hey, Raiza."

"Hi,　Uncle Victor." The child gave Victor a quick hug and kiss then　turned her attention back to Fox. "I’m doing Uncle Fox’s hair."

"So I see. You look lovely, Fox. Uh... where’s my dear cousin?"

"He’s gone to see his father," Maria said.

The smile faded.

"Really."

"Yeah," Fox said. "And maybe now might be a good time for you and I to talk."

The smile returned slowly.

"Sure. I’d ask if you wanted to step outside, but your hair might not be dry."

Fox turned to Raiza and gathered the little girl to him.

"Honey, I’m going to go outside with Uncle Victor for a little bit. I promise we’ll pick up where we left off when I come back in, okay?"

The child pouted. "’Kay."

Fox gave her a quick　kiss. "Help me take these out?"

"Then I’m gonna have to start all over again!"

"Raiza, take the curlers out of Uncle Fox’s hair," Maria sighed.

The child did as her mother instructed, and then, with a withering look from Maria, Victor ushered him out into the hall.

"So... what did you want to talk about?"

"I want to know why you dislike Alex so much."

"Oh." Victor gave Fox an exaggerated sulk. "I thought we were going to talk about something pleasant."

"It would be very nice to be able to have a pleasant conversation with you."

"But not unless I promise to be nice to Alex, right?"

"Is that such a bad thing?"

Victor stared then answered Fox’s question with one of his own.

"... Why are you with him? I mean... it seems to me that you can do so much better."

Fox folded his arms over his chest. "Really? Do tell."

"You seem like a decent guy. Intelligent... " Victor’s gaze quickly caressed the other man’s form. "... Handsome." His tone softened. "Very handsome."

Fox cocked his head slightly.

"Well. There’s something that you and my husband apparently agree on."

There was a second’s pause, then Victor gave him a smile that was definitely meant to charm.

"I can’t fault him for his taste, that’s for sure."

"What do you fault him for?" Fox asked, trying to get him back on track. "This bad blood between you apparently goes back to when you were kids, so what was it?"

Victor shrugged. "Do you know what it’s like watching your cousin get all of you grandmother’s love and attention?　 He was like the second coming as far as　she was concerned. Spoiled rotten. Do you know that she left him all her money?"

"Yes. I also know that he tried to share it with you, and you told him what he could do with it. Alex wasn’t to blame for your grandmother’s actions, Victor. You’ve got no right to be angry with him about it. And as far as his absence from your family these past several years goes, you’re out of line on that front, too. We told you his story that night at our house, but there’s so much more detail that we didn’t get into. So much you have no idea about.　The amount of emotional turmoil in his life left no room for any more. It took years for him to stop beating himself up and believe that the good things that were happening wasn’t just some big cosmic joke, and it was all going to get snatched away. It’s still there in the back of his mind, and it surfaces from time to time."

"So, you’re saying that he wouldn’t have come looking for us, ever."

"That’s not what I’m saying, because I don’t know that to be true. I’m　just trying to get you to understand that the reasons he hadn’t contacted　anyone, had everything to do with his fear of being rejected, and nothing at all to do with him not caring about his family."

Victor stared intently at the other man then pursed his lips and bowed his head.

"You’re very protective of him."

"Yes, I am."

"Admirable." Victor lifted his head and stared again. "He’s very lucky to have you."

"He would agree a hundred and twelve percent with that," Fox said. "And I’ll tell you that I’m just as lucky to have him."

"You really think he’s all that."

A trace of a smile curved Fox’s lips.

"I know he is."

"Hmm... I’ll tell you what." Victor stopped and took in a long breath. He let it out slowly, his eyes not leaving Fox’s face. "I’ll try to give getting along with him a shot."

"... You will?"

"Yes. Yes, I will."

Fox regarded the other man doubtfully.

"You don’t believe me."

"You can understand my apprehension," Fox replied. "You haven’t given him a break since the day you walked into our house, and now you’re willing to make a go of it."

"I know it sounds like a crock, and this might sound strange, given the fact that I hardly know you, but... I trust you."

Fox said nothing.

"Do you mind if I stay around until he comes back? I’d like to tell him."

"Uh... I actually think it might not be the best idea. If the meeting didn’t go well, he’s not going to be in the most receptive mood. I think you’d be better off　waiting until we’re back home, and he can settle down first."

"Oh. O-okay. Will you call and let me know when the best time is for me to call?"

"... Yeah. Yeah, I’ll let you know."

"Great. Let me give you my cell number."

Fox nodded.

"Aren’t you going to put it in your phone?"

"Just tell it to me. I’ll remember it."

Victor gave him a disbelieving grin.

"I will," Fox insisted.

Victor shrugged and gave the other man the number.

"Okay, well... you guys have a safe trip home, and I’ll wait to hear from you."

"All right. I’ll uh... I’ll be talking to you, I guess."

Victor stuck out his hand, and Fox hesitated for all of three seconds before taking it.

"Bye, Fox."

"Bye."

Fox pulled his hand out of Victor’s grip, and the other man walked away wearing a tiny, satisfied smile.

"Okay, you can tell me to mind my business, but I gotta ask. What did you talk about?" Maria asked as Fox re-entered the apartment.

"I wanted to know what his problem was, and he wanted to know what an intelligent, handsome guy like me sees in Alex."

Maria inclined her head a bit and gave Fox a curious scowl.

"Then he said that he would like to try to get along with him."

Maria squinted at her cousin-in-law. "What’s he up to?"

Fox shrugged. "You tell me."

"I’m almost afraid to speculate."

At that point, Raiza came out of her room.

"Okay, Uncle Fox, you ready now?"

Fox grinned down at the child.

"I’m ready." He again lowered himself into the chair. "Just... be gentle."

While Raiza began to reattach the curlers to his hair, he looked up at Maria.

"How long’s it been?"

"Over half an hour."

"I wonder how it’s going."

"... Well?"

"Well, what?"

"Are you going to answer my question?" Alex asked. "Why did you decide to stop having anything to do with me? What did I do to make you treat me so badly?"

"You’re very demanding."

"I have a right to know."

"You have no rights," Iliia rumbled. "I am your father. You don’t come barging into my house, after years and years, making demands."

Alex laughed bitterly. "My father. You say that like it should mean something."

"You will not disrespect me!"

"I owe you no respect!" Alex shouted, then his voice lowered into an ironic drawl. "You know, I’d　actually hoped... I thought that maybe there’d be some compassion in your heart for the son you’d dismissed from your life with not even an attempt at explanation or a second’s remorse.　How stupid was I?"

Slowly, Iliia lifted himself out of his chair and turned to face his son. Even at his age and physical disadvantage, he stuck an imposing picture.

Alex didn’t back down, and he didn’t look away. And Iliia surprised him with the softness of his tone.

"Your grandmother favored you... above　all others. Her grandchildren... her children. From the day of your birth, she said that you would have to remember that you were well loved by someone. She said you would need it. And she made it her mission to insure that you would always remember. She wouldn’t let me discipline you."

"She wouldn’t let you beat me. Though you managed it often enough."

"... She coddled you."

"She protected me."

"And she expected me to do the same."

"You never protected me from anything."

"Didn’t I?"

Alex opened his mouth to speak, but something in his father’s eyes stopped him.

"... What do you mean?"

Iliia stared for a good long while, then, "She was my mother. I did my best to always respect her wishes, even when I disagreed with them. I was a good son. I’m still trying to be."

"What are you getting at?"

Iliia waved a dismissive hand and turned away.

"What?"

"Never mind."

"Tell me!"

"I said, never mind!" Iliia again faced the angry younger man. "You see? This is the difference between you and I. I would never dare to be so insolent with my mother,　yet you think nothing of it. It’s because she spoiled you so. If you had been more disciplined..."

"What? I wouldn’t be married to a man?"

"You wouldn’t be that, and you wouldn’t be any of the other things you are or were. You would have followed my rules to the letter, and your mother wouldn’t have... " Iliia stopped, pressing his lips together.

Alex ignored his father’s increased respiration.

"What about my mother? She wouldn’t have what? Come on, you’re itching to say something. Say it!"

"You want to know?　I’ll tell you." Iliia stared daggers at his son. "She died because of you!"

The color drained out of Alex’s face. "What the hell are you talking about?" he hissed.

"It was mid April... cold after the sun went down.　You were home on vacation, though you spent little time here. You had gone out to the baseball field with your friends. You mother had told you twice that week about taking your jacket with you. You left without it that day. Remember?"

Alex’s gaze dropped to the patio floor as he tried to access that memory.

"Your mother had brought a basket of laundry into your room and noticed your jacket on your bed. I told her to let you walk home in the cold without it, and maybe next time you would remember. But she was afraid you’d get sick. A twenty year old, and she treated you like you were eight."

Glittering green eyes jerked up to　meet the gaze that they were so like. Alex’s head shook slowly from side to side, and he backed up a couple of steps. Iliia could see the agony in his son’s face, but he went on.

"If she hadn’t left here to take your jacket to you at the field, that truck never would have hit her." He paused to make sure that his words were sinking in, then he went on. "Your grandmother stopped me from telling you. She insisted that you weren’t to blame, and that I could never tell you." He stifled a tremor. "But you　demanded to know. And now you do. So,　you see... you’d become a killer long before you thought you had."

A guttural sound left Alex’s throat, and one eye welled up. Iliia shifted his stare.

"Now, you can leave."

Alex took a hard, shuddering breath, and he turned and walked slowly into the house. Blindly, he made his way to the front door, passing Natalie without a word.

"Alex? Alex." Natalie stopped him before he could turn the knob. "Oh, my goodness, dear, what’s wrong? What did you say to each other out there?"

Alex shook his head, refusing to let the tears spill over.

"I could hear you raising your voices, but... Alex, please. Tell me what’s wrong."

"Sorry," Alex said, his throat full of gravel. "I have to. I have to go."

"No. Don’t leave like this. Alex, don’t. Alex!"

As Alex walked to his car, Natalie dashed to the phone and dialed Maria’s number.

"... Maria. It’s Natalie. Alex left. He left, and he shouldn’t have... no. I mean, he was in no condition to leave. But I couldn’t stop him. I don’t know, I don’t... all right. All right, I’m going to talk to Iliia. Call me so I know he got there safely. All right. Bye."

Natalie put the phone down and stormed through the house, stopping at the edge of the patio.

"What happened out here?"

Iliia sat at the table, facing away from his wife, and refused to turn around. Natalie advanced and looked down at him.

"Iliia. You look flushed. Are you all right?"

"As all right as a man whose only child　has turned out to be a devastating　disappointment can be."

"What happened?"

"He’s arrogant, he’s disrespectful, and he is never to set foot in this house again."

"That is not an answer to my question."

"It’s all you’re going to get. Now, leave me."

"I will not. Your son left here looking like the world had come to an end. Does that mean nothing to you?"

Iliia took a long breath and let it out. "He got what he asked for. What he demanded. Now he’s gone. That’s it. Now go."

"Whatever went on here today, Iliia, you’re going to regret it. Mark my words, you’re going to regret it."

Iliia picked up a puzzle piece and studied it, waiting until Natalie had gone back into the house to drop his hand heavily to the table and bow his head.

Fox paced back and forth, phone to his ear. For the fourth time, he got Alex’s voicemail, and for the fourth time, he left a message.

"Alex, where are you? I know something went down at your father’s. I know you left there in no condition to drive, and I’m scared. Please, baby. Call and tell me that you’re on your way back to Maria’s."

Maria kept watch out the window while Fox paced.

"He’s okay," she said softly, checking her watch. "It’s only been　twenty minutes since he left there."

"That’s more than long enough for him to have come back."

Maria’s eyes closed and opened again. "I know," she whispered.

Five minutes later, she straightened up and watched what looked like Alex’s rental car coming down the street. When it pulled up to the building and parked, she called to Fox, who was in the process of leaving another message.

"It’s him. Fox, he’s here."

Fox jammed his phone into his pocket and sprinted out the door as Maria went to call Natalie. When he reached　the outside, he saw Alex still sitting in the car.　He slowed down as he approached the driver’s side door, and his heart, which had been racing since the call from Natalie, now pounded harder.

Alex sat, both hands at the top of the wheel, head lowered, eyes closed. Fox bent and looked in the open window.

"... Alex," he called softly, then he lifted his hand to his husband’s head.

"We should get going soon," Alex murmured then lifted his head. "Let’s go say goodbye to Maria and Raiza."

"Baby, you look like hell. What happened?"

The younger man pressed his lips together for a moment then lifted his head.

"I want to go home."

His calm, flat tone scared the hell out of Fox. "Okay," the older man said gently. "Okay, let’s go say goodbye." He backed away from the car and let Alex get out. Taking his hand,　Fox led him into the building and up to the apartment.

Maria watched warily as the men walked into the living room, then her eyes fell to Fox, who looked intensely troubled.

"Uh... Alex? Are you all right?"

"Fine," her cousin said softly, then lifted a hand to her shoulder. "Don’t worry, okay? I’m all right. We have to get going, though."

Maria’s gaze flicked back to Fox, who shook his head.

"Oh. Yeah. Uh... all right." Maria called out to her daughter, whom she had sent into her room. "Raiza... honey, come on out and say goodbye to Uncle Fox and Uncle Alex."

The door opened, and a pair of big brown eyes peeked out. Raiza quickly surveyed the scene then slowly entered the room. She took Alex’s hand and looked up into his pained features.

"What’s the matter, Uncle Alex?"

Alex did the best he could to pull himself together, and he squatted in front of the little girl.

"Nothing for you to worry about, peanut."

"But you look sad."

"Nah. I’m fine. Just tired. Listen, Uncle Fox and I have to go now. But we’ll call when we get home to let you know we’re there, okay? And you can say hi to Clyde."

At that, Raiza smiled. "Okay." She threw her arms around Alex, hugging him tightly. "Bye, Uncle Alex."

"Bye, baby," Alex whispered. "I love you."

"Love you too."

Alex stood up and turned away as Fox said goodbye to the little girl. Maria took a cautious step toward her cousin and laid a gentle hand on his arm.

"Alex, I’m so sorry that things didn’t go well."

Eyes shifted downward, Alex nodded.

"God... are you going to be okay?"

"Yeah. Uh... yeah. Fine," he repeated.　"Don’t worry."

It wasn’t hard to see that he was fighting to keep it together.　Maria wanted to hug him, but she was afraid that it might break his fragile hold on control, and that was the last thing she wanted to happen in front of Raiza.

Fox came to Alex’s side, winding a protective arm around the younger man’s waist.

"Come on, babe, let’s get going." He looked to Maria, giving her a sad smile. "I’ll call you."

Maria nodded and let the men out, then walked to the window. She watched them move slowly to the car and Fox get her cousin comfortably seated　before he rounded the front of the car. He opened the driver’s side door and looked up. Finding Maria standing at her window, he raised a hand to her then got in and drove away. Maria turned from the window to find Raiza standing behind her. Wide eyes stared up at her as the child hugged her dolphin tightly.

"Mummy, why’s Uncle Alex so sad?"

Maria opened her mouth to speak, but nothing would come out.

"Was Uncle Victor mean to him?"

A short sound broke past Maria’s lips, then she picked her daughter up and walked over to the sofa and sat down with her.

"No, honey, Uncle Victor wasn’t mean to him."

Raiza’s little mouth turned down into an unhappy pout. "... Was it Uncle Iliia?"

Maria’s jaw dropped. "What... what makes you ask that?"

"Uncle Iliia is Uncle Alex’s dad."

"Yes..."

"He didn’t go with us to the wedding, and he didn’t go to Uncle Ivan’s house... and he always sounds mad when I hear him talk to Uncle Victor about Uncle Alex."

//Kid doesn’t miss a trick.//

"Uncle Iliia doesn’t want to see him... I’d be sad if you didn’t want to see me."

Maria pulled the child tightly to her.

"You don’t ever have to worry about that, okay?　Mummy will always　love you."

"I know." Raiza rested her head on her mother’s shoulder. "I wish Uncle Iliia loved Uncle Alex."

The couple boarded the plane and took their seats. Alex looked out the　window, seeing　nothing below. Not hearing the flight attendant’s announcements. Not even the touch of Fox’s hand on his, reached him.

"Babe... Alex?"

Sable lashes blinked, and glazed eyes looked Fox’s way.

"Put your seatbelt on."

Alex fastened his seatbelt, and before he could turn back to the window, Fox again called his name. He looked back to his husband, and the older man lifted a hand and stroked the side of his face.

"... We’ll be home soon."

Letting his cheek rest in Fox’s palm, Alex closed his eyes for a moment. When they opened again, halfway, he returned his attention to the window.

"... You’re on the road, I hope."

"Yeah."

The flat, one word answer gave Scully immediate cause for concern.

"You don’t sound happy."

"Not really, no."

"Oh, God. Not a good trip?"

"Not entirely."

"All righty, then. I guess I’ll make myself scarce before you get home?"

"Thanks, Scully. I’ll call you when I can."

Fox disconnected and deposited the phone back into his jacket pocket. Glancing across the seat at his silent passenger, he sighed softly and took the exit toward home.

Scully had already departed when they arrived. Fox pulled into the garage and popped the trunk, then got out and retrieved both bags before meeting Alex at the passenger’s side. The younger man reached for a bag, but Fox pulled it out of his reach.

"I got them, babe. Just get the door."

Putting up no argument, Alex unlocked the door and was immediately accosted by Clyde. Silently, he petted the howling, wiggling dog, then he turned on a table lamp and stood there, looking very lost. Fox set both bags down, let the dog out,　and approached　Alex carefully.

"Baby," he whispered, pulling the younger man into his arms. "I know you’ve been doing your best to hold it together, but you don’t have to any more. You’re home, now. You’re safe. Talk to me. Let it go."

Alex stared at Fox for several seconds, then he lowered his head to the other man’s shoulder and curled his fingers in the back of his shirt. Fox held him and waited for him to find his voice. When he did, it was soft and hoarse, and riddled with agony.

"... It was my fault."

"What was your fault, Alex?"

Alex tightened his hold on Fox’s shirt, and he pressed his face into his husband’s neck.

"... I killed my mother."

"What? Fox breathed. He pulled Alex’s head up and made the other man look at him. "What are you talking about?"

There was a slight tremble against the length of Fox’s body, and Alex’s eyes glazed over. "She’s dead because of me."

Fox shook his head. "Did your father tell you this?"

Alex nodded.

"Why would he say such a horrible thing?"

"Must be true."

"Your mother died in a car accident, babe. How could that be your fault?"

Alex told Fox the story then stood quietly, lower lip trembling.

"Alex," Fox whispered. "It was an accident. She was just in the wrong place at the wrong time."

"She wouldn’t have been there if I had taken my jacket　with me　like I’d been told to."

"But she didn’t have to take it to you. Your father wanted her to let you walk home without it. She insisted on taking it. That was her choice."

"But she wouldn’t have had the opportunity to make that choice if I had done what I was supposed to." Tortured eyes shifted away from Fox’s face. "It was my fault. And my father can’t forgive me for it. He said... " Alex bit down on his lip as his trembling increased.

"What did he say?" Fox asked, almost afraid to know.

"He said I’d become a killer long... long before I thought I had."

Fox closed his eyes and silently cursed the elder Krycek.

"He’s a bitter, cruel man, Alex. And that’s a terrible burden for him to try to make you carry."

"It’s mine," Alex croaked, unable to hold back the tears any longer. "I killed my mother, Fox. I killed... " His chest heaved and, clinging to Fox, he began to sob.

A tear ran over the bridge of Fox’s nose, followed by another, and he tightened his hold on his shattered husband, trying to absorb his pain.

"You didn’t kill her," he promised, running his hand up and down the other man’s back. "I was an accident, baby... just an accident."

Alex cried himself to exhaustion, then Fox walked him over to the sofa and laid him down. He sat on the floor by the younger man’s head, gently stroking his hair. Tears continued to run slowly, dropping onto the sofa cushion as Alex stared out at nothing in particular.

"I’m so sorry, Alex," Fox murmured. "I don’t... I... I don’t know what to say to you," he finished helplessly.

"Nothing to say," Alex replied, just barely above a whisper. "It is what it is."

"But it isn’t," Fox insisted softly. "Didn’t you always tell me that my mother　putting the responsibility for Samantha not being returned, on me　was bullshit? Well, that’s exactly what this is. Absolute bullshit.　Your father　needed someone to be angry at, and the truck driver wasn’t convenient. He needed a constant outlet. Who better to make pay for what had happened, then the son he already had issues with?"

"He wouldn’t have had issues with me if I　hadn’t been　a bad son," Alex droned.

"He had issues with you because your grandmother loved you so. She was a strict parent. In her family, she ruled. He took that to heart and tried to run his own family the same way. When she wouldn’t allow him to discipline you the way she had him, it ticked him off. He couldn’t show her his anger, so he took it out on you. His treatment of you was his way of rebelling against her. The more she loved you, the angrier he got, and when your mother died on her way to bring you your jacket,　blaming you　was a natural leap as far as he was concerned. If you’d had a normal father son relationship, there’d be no way in hell he’d have done to you what he has."

Alex sniffed. "For someone who didn’t know what to say..."

Fox lowered his head to the cushion, facing Alex, and kissed the younger man’s red nose.

"Guess it just took me a minute to get warmed up."

"... I love you."

The older man smiled.

"I love you, baby."

The men remained where they were for several minutes, Fox slowly combing his fingers through Alex’s hair, then he brushed the tip of his nose over the other man’s.

"You hungry?"

Alex shook his head.

"You sure?"

Slight nod.

"Tired?"

Another nod.

"Why don’t you close your eyes? Try to sleep a little while I feed Clyde and put our stuff away."

"Don’t think I can."

"Try?" Fox claimed a tender kiss. "Please?"

Alex exhaled softly and closed his eyes. Fox brushed the moisture away from his husband’s cheeks and pressed a kiss to his forehead before rising to his feet and leaving the room. Once out of Alex’s sight, Fox stopped and leaned against the wall, pressing the heels of his hands to his eyes. Taking a few cleansing breaths, he continued on his way into the kitchen and pulled his cell phone out of his pocket. Scrolling down to Maria’s name, he hit the call button and waited.

It felt strange not to be calling Scully first with such important news, but　Alex’s cousin needed to know right now what the hell was going on.

"... Fox?"

"Yeah. We’re home."

"Good. How is he?"

"Terrible."

"What happened? Did he tell you?"

"Oh yeah, he told me."

"Doesn’t sound good."

"No. No, it isn’t good. In fact, I don’t know how much worse it can get."

"Jeez. What is it?"

"Dear old Dad decided to drop a really big bombshell into Alex’s lap today."

"What? I can’t imagine what he could..."

"How’s this? When Alex’s mother was killed, she was on her way to bring him his jacket at the baseball field that he was at. Apparently, he had been told a couple of times not to forget to take it, and he　left it　behind　again this day. Iliia wanted Helena to let Alex walk home in the cold without it, but she didn’t want him to get sick, so she went out, anyway."

Maria could guess the rest.

"... And so Uncle Iliia blames Alex for the accident?"

"You got it."

"Are you shittin’ me?" Maria whispered harshly.

"Wish I was."

"Oh, my God. Poor Alex. What parent would lay something like that on their kid?"

"It’s inconceivable, I know. But it happens," Fox said. "More times than we’d like to think."

"I just... I can’t imagine hearing something like that coming out of either of my parent’s mouths. I can’t imagine them wanting to hurt me that way."

"Iliia had　issues with his mother, and they definitely reflect in his treatment of Alex. When　 Alex’s mother died,　your grandmother　told him, under no uncertain terms, that he was not to tell Alex the exact circumstances of　Helena’s death. He obeyed that order for as long as he could, but today, bitterness finally got the better of him... and I have no idea what to do to　make this better."

"I feel so awful, Fox," Maria choked. "If Victor and I never showed up on your doorstep that night, Alex would never have known this, and he’d be happy right now."

"I won’t let you take any blame for this," Fox said. "There’s only one place where it belongs. Having most of his family back has been wonderful for Alex. And he’s going to need you now more than ever."

"There’s no one he needs more than you, Fox, but we’re here. And I know I speak for my parents and Ivan and Irene, when I say that we’ll do whatever we have to, to make sure that he knows that we’re behind him, and we love him."

"Thanks, Maria."

"Where is he now?"

"Lying down, sleeping, I hope.　This thing has worn him out."

Maria sighed heavily. "I can’t tell you how pissed I am with Uncle Iliia."

"Well, that makes two of us. You know, right up until　Alex got back, I’d been keeping an open mind. Hoping that Iliia would come around, and their relationship could be salvaged. I know what it’s like to be disowned by your parent. I didn’t want that for Alex. I’d been trying hard to withhold judgment on this man, but the jury’s in, and I can say with all confidence, that I hate him for what he’s done to his son."

"What a horror show this has turned out to be," Maria moaned.

"Yeah... uh... before I go... we’d promised Raiza she could say hello to Clyde," Fox said as he went to the kitchen door and called the dog.

"Oh, yeah. Raiza... come here."

Fox waited only a few seconds before Raiza took the phone.

"..Hello?"

"Hey, peanut."

"Hi. Uncle Fox?"

"Yep. We’re home. Somebody here wants to say hello."

"Clyde!"

"That’s right. Go ahead. Talk to him."

Fox held the phone in front of the dog.

"Hi Clyde!"

The broad head cocked, and Clyde stared at the phone.

"Clyde, Clyde."

The dog’s tail began to swing, and he whined softly　as Raiza rattled on for more than a minute.

"... and maybe we can see you at Thanksgiving. So, you be a good boy, and I’ll talk to you again, okay?"

Fox put the phone back up to his ear. "You there, Raiza?"

"Yeah, I’m here, Uncle Fox... where’s Uncle Alex?"

"He’s taking a nap honey."

"Is he still sad?"

Fox hesitated then answered without really answering.

"He just needs a little sleep. Hey, I have an idea. Why don’t you draw him a picture and mail it to him? He’d really like that."

"Yeah! Mummy, can I mail Uncle Alex a picture? ... Mummy says yes. I’ll go draw one right now!"

"That’ll make Uncle Alex so happy. I’ll talk to you again soon, all right?"

"Okay. Give him and Clyde a hug and kiss for me."

"I’ll do that. Love you, sweetheart."

"Love you too. Bye!"

Maria took the phone back.

"And she’s off. You realize, of course, now I’m going to have to go buy some mailing envelopes and take her to the post office tomorrow."

Fox chuckled. "Yeah. Sorry."

"It’s okay, I was just giving you a hard time. If it’d make Alex feel better, I’d make the delivery myself."

"I know. Well, I’d better get going. I gotta feed the dog and put our clothes away... I haven’t called Scully yet, and then I want to see if I can get him to eat something."

"All right, Fox. You take care. I’ll call you tomorrow."

"Okay. Goodnight, Maria."

Fox hung up and looked down at the dog, who was sitting on his foot, looking up at him.

"Okay, let’s get your dinner."

Tail swinging from side to side, Clyde followed Fox out of the kitchen and into the pantry.

"How could you?"

Iliia turned in the direction of the shocked hiss. Folding his arms across his chest, he stared into the glittering dark eyes of his wife.

"It didn’t take long, did it, for word to reach you?"

"Did you expect it would?" Natalie gasped. "Iliia... your son. Alex is your son. How could you say such a horrible, hateful thing to him?"

"I told him the truth," Iliia said coolly. "He wanted it, and I gave it to him."

"You wanted to hurt him. Why? What has he done to you?"

"Did you not hear the story correctly?" Iliia said, his voice getting louder. "He was the cause of his mother’s death!"

"He was not to blame, and you’ve been unnecessarily hard on him since he was young! You’ve devastated your son today, Iliia. I hope you’re happy."

Unable to say any more without breaking into tears, Natalie turned and stormed upstairs, leaving Iliia alone to stew in her anger.

"You haven’t slept at all, have you?"

"... No."

Alex pushed back to make room as Fox sat down on the sofa.

"What’ve you been doing?"

"Fed Clyde, put everything away... I talked to Maria and Scully."

Alex stared through his lashes at the far wall and said nothing.

"You hungry yet?"

"Uh uh. What’d Maria have to say?"

"... She’s angry."

"She knows?"

"I told her. And she feels the same way I do about what your father did to you."

"... What about what I did to my mother?"

Fox gently grasped a handful of hair.

"You didn’t do anything. Maria knows it just like I do. And the rest of your family will stand behind you. Your father is wrong, baby. He’s cold, and he’s spiteful, and he’s trying to hurt you." Fox lowered his head until his face was within a fraction of the other man’s. "Don’t give him the satisfaction."

Alex lifted a hand to Fox’s cheek, stroking the stubbled flesh.

"... I love you so much," he whispered. "What the hell did a sorry sack of shit like me do to deserve you?"

"Don’t, Alex," Fox commanded firmly, angry not at his husband, but at Iliia, who even after all these years, knew　just what to do to break him. "You go back to thinking like that, and you’re going to have me to deal with. And I promise it won’t be pleasant... you got me?"

Alex stared, watching his fingers trace Fox’s jaw and the swell of his bottom lip. He nodded his answer.

"I know you’re hurting, baby," Fox said, his tone softening. "And I know it’s going to take more than a couple of days for you to be able to find a way to deal with it. But you have to. Iliia Krycek’s word doesn’t　mean shit."

"... He’s my father."

"And I’m your husband. Whose opinion of you means more?"

"Yours," Alex answered without delay. "But your opinion is prejudiced."

"And so is his."

Alex conceded the point. "But," he murmured, "as hard as he is, he’s an honest man."

"Yes, he’s honest. Brutally so," Fox said. "I won’t dispute that your mother’s accident happened the way he said it did. But his opinion... and that’s what it is, babe... opinion, on whose fault it is, is prejudiced by his long-standing feelings about you, and your place in his mother’s heart." Fox kissed the tip of Alex’s nose. "Would I feel guilty if I knew that my parent died on their way to bring me a jacket? Yes. I’m sure I would.　 But that wouldn’t change the fact that it was not my fault."

Alex lowered his gaze.

"I know you need time," Fox whispered. "You can’t expect to get hit with something like this and be fine. But you can’t let it eat a hole through you. Please, baby."

Alex pushed himself up on　his elbow and cupped the back of Fox’s head. Tired green eyes stared into his.

"I’m sorry, lisa. You’ve had enough. More than your share, I know. I don’t want to put you through any more."

"You go through stuff," Fox said, "I go through stuff." He moved in closer until they were nose to nose. "Is this news to you?"

Sable lashes dropped shut, and Alex shook his head. When they lifted, a mist had formed over his eyes again.

"... Fox."

"Hmm?"

Alex’s lips parted, and he attempted to say something, but the lump in his throat prevented him. Instead, he leaned in the remaining distance, his breath trembling over Fox’s mouth before he brushed it with his own. "I love you," he mouthed, then he pulled the older man down on top of him and initiated a deep, desperate kiss. Fox surrendered to him, giving him all he needed, and when he felt the younger man tugging at his shirt, he　moved away for only as long as it took to pull it up and off, then he sank back into another luxurious kiss.

A soft sigh vibrated in Fox’s open mouth as Alex’s hands moved reverently over the muscled contours of his lover’s back. The agony of his father’s words hadn’t left him for an instant, and it was doubtful that　they ever would be totally　erased from his memory,　but he needed to lose himself for　a while at least. To hide in the one place, with the one person　he would ever feel completely safe.

Fox shifted position and, without completely losing contact with Alex’s mouth, he began to unbutton the younger man’s shirt. When he was finished, Alex shrugged out of the garment, and Fox discarded it. A low, almost inaudible moan rolled in his chest as Fox kissed the line of his jaw and worked his way down his convulsing throat to the curve of his shoulder. He gripped the back of the sofa, and he arched, lifting his back a couple of inches off the cushion as Fox reached a nipple, teasing it lightly with his tongue. The moan became a breathy sigh, and Alex turned his face into the back of the couch. His respiration became short and uneven when Fox sucked the brown nub into his mouth and quickly flicked his tongue over the tip

For now, it was forgotten. Iliia’s cruel words, his unwillingness to even try to show some kind of　compassion for the son he’d not seen for so many years... the blame he’d so readily assigned to Alex for his　mother’s death. It was like none of it had ever happened. For as long as Fox was making love to him, the pain was gone.

For almost an hour, Fox　kept Alex teetering on the edge of a stunning conclusion. He had stripped Alex of all his clothing but kept his own pants on while he used his hands and his mouth to tease every inch of the younger man. When he was sure that　Alex had reached the very frayed end of his rope, he shed his　jeans and slid over him, claiming a long, hungry kiss before straddling his　hips. He sat up, slowly wiggling against the very hard length of Alex’s cock.

A hoarse cry sounded in Alex’s throat as he　bucked against Fox’s ass, and he grasped the older man’s hips, trying to push inside. Fox helped him, adjusting the position of his cock, then he pushed down, clenching his teeth as the unlubricated head breached his entrance. Alex stopped breathing as inch after inch of his erection was buried inside of his Fox. He watched through half closed lashes as his lover’s features contorted into a mask of painful pleasure, and when the connection was complete, Fox leaned in for a long, sweet kiss. Alex tenderly licked his bottom lip　when they parted slightly, then　melted into a deeper, more passionate kiss as Fox started to move.

A prickling heat started deep inside Fox, beginning from the point where their bodies met, and spread out toward his extremities. He rose slowly, squeezing Alex’s cock as he did, then lowered himself. Breaking the kiss, he sat up straight and looked down into glittering dark eyes as he squeezed again and released. Alex’s lips parted on a trembling sigh, and he reached for his husband’s cock, stroking it as　slowly as he was being milked. Fox’s eyes closed for a moment as he concentrated on the sensations Alex’s hand was producing, then they glided open and fixed a smoky stare on the younger man. He began to rise, pausing several times to clench and release his muscles. The act brought Alex dangerously close to coming, and he whimpered his reaction. When just the head of his cock remained inside of Fox, the older　man　stopped and lightly traced the planes of his chest and abdomen with his fingertips.

"Easy..."

If he wanted to bring Alex back from the edge, that was not the tone to use. The other man moaned deep in his throat and clamped his hands on Fox’s hips, trying to coax him back down. Fox resisted at first, stoking Alex’s frustration, then he gave in. Alex released a shuddering breath and bucked beneath him.

"Can’t... can’t..."

Grunting and sobbing, he continued to thrust upward until Fox followed his lead. His cries grew louder and more desperate as Fox bounced quickly against him. He pumped the older man’s cock awkwardly, too overcome to be able to find a matching rhythm, but it was more than enough to take his lover to a blinding conclusion. Fox stopped moving, his muscles seizing as he released a long, guttural moan, and he coated Alex’s hand with a wealth of warm semen. Alex followed, jerking several times, a loud growl filling the air. When it was done, Fox braced his hands against his husband’s shoulders, holding himself up as he gasped for breath. Several seconds later, he opened his eyes and looked down into Alex’s weary face.

"Come on. Let’s go to bed."

Putting up no argument, Alex took Fox’s hand and followed the older man out of the room. Once in the bedroom, Fox pulled back the covers and motioned for Alex to lie down. He left the room briefly, returning with a damp face cloth. Washing Alex gently, he left again to discard the cloth then returned and slid into bed next to his lover. He propped himself up against the pillows and pulled Alex into his arms. Not a word more was said as Alex nestled into Fox’s embrace and closed his eyes. He shocked the other man by actually falling asleep quickly.

Fox listened to Alex’s deep, steady respiration, and his mind replayed Alex’s revelation once they’d reached the comfort and safety of home. Anger bubbled up, and he stamped it down, telling himself that there was nothing he could do about it tonight. Maybe there wouldn’t be anything he could do about it at all.

He stroked his hand　up and down　his unconscious　husband’s arm.

At least one of them would get some sleep tonight.

The shrill sound of the ringing doorbell pierced the still air, then there was quiet for several seconds before it sounded again.

"Coming, coming," Natalie called as she descended the stairs as quickly as she could with a basketful of laundry in her arms. Setting the basket down, she shuffled to the door and peeked through the sidelight. Her brother-in-law’s grim face met her eyes, and she knew he wasn’t coming for just a pleasant visit.

Ivan stood straight as a statue and fell flat in his effort to give the woman a smile.

"Hello, Natalie. How are you?"

Natalie’s gaze dropped to the threshold.

"Been better, Ivan, as by that look on your face, I’m sure you know."

Ivan nodded and entered as the woman backed away from the door.

"Where’s my brother?"

"Where he is every nice day. Outside, doing his puzzle."

"I’d like to talk to him."

Natalie studied him and nodded solemnly.

Another aborted attempt at a smile, and Ivan strode through the house and out to the patio.

"Hello, Iliia."

Listless green eyes shifted in the direction of the door, then Iliia looked back at his puzzle.

"Ivan... I didn’t know you were coming over."

"I hadn’t planned on it, but then I heard some news... some utterly disturbing news."

"What news is that?"

"I’m sure you know." Ivan crossed in front of Iliia and sat down at the table. "How could you say something so incredibly hurtful to your only son?"

"How do you think that this is any of your business?"

"You’re my brother. He’s my nephew. I think it’s time someone stepped in and tried to get you to fix this mess."

"Is that right?"

"Yes, It is... now, why did you say those things to him?"

"Nothing I said to Alex was untrue. His mother’s automobile accident was his fault."

"Why have none of us ever heard this story?"

"You think I’m making it up?"

"I’m sure all the basics were just as they had happened. But Iliia... to tell　your son that he’s at fault for what was simply a tragic accident... how cruel can you be?"

No answer. Ivan repeated his question.

"Why had you never said anything about this before?"

"Mama."

The one word response was all the answer Ivan needed, but he pressed on.

"She knew?"

"She was the only one who knew."

"And she didn’t want you to tell Alex."

"Of course she didn’t."

"You kept it to yourself all these years. Why say it now?"

"He had it coming."

"Do you hear yourself?" Ivan asked, his voice getting louder. "He had it coming... your son had that kind of emotional torment coming."

"Correct, brother. Now, if you don’t mind..."

"But I do mind, Iliia. I really do mind."

"This is not your concern, Ivan," Iliia warned in his most commanding tone. "Don’t speak of it again."

"I’m sorry, but I must speak."

"Did you not hear me?" Iliia asked, his voice rumbling with authority. "No more!"

"Iliia, you are my older brother and head of this family. But I cannot keep silent when I see such heartlessness. You’ve always been strong. You’ve presided over our family with an iron hand... the way Mama did. But the difference is, with Mama, she mixed　that toughness　with an equal amount of love." Ivan shook his head. "You lost that somewhere along the line. And your son has paid the price. In more ways than you apparently know."

"I suppose you’re waiting, now, for me to ask you what you’re talking about. Well, I won’t."

"You don’t have to. You’re going to hear it anyway."

Shocked by the forcefulness of his brother’s tone, Iliia went quiet and glared at the other man.

"I won’t sugar coat this, and I won’t beat around the bush... Alex　had been　raped... twice."

The angry gleam left Iliia’s eyes, and he stared, clearly stunned by his brother’s news.

"... When?"

"Once when he was in high school, and then last year."

Iliia took a long breath, then his gaze dropped to the table.

"How did this happen?"

Ivan explained the circumstances of each occurrence, and he sat watching as Iliia ran a shaking hand over his head. There was silence for several minutes, then Iliia spoke. And Ivan’s mouth fell open.

"Maybe if he hadn’t chosen to live the type of life he does, and associate with the kinds of people he did, he wouldn’t have been assaulted."

"Do you really believe that?" Ivan gasped. "Do you really think that your son asked to get dragged through the woods and attacked by several boys? Do you think that his relationship with another man had anything to do with being kidnapped from his home, caged and whipped?"

"If he hadn’t been friendly with that other boy, he wouldn’t have felt the need to defend him to those boys, would he? He wouldn’t have been on that island and met that lunatic... would he? So, yes. Yes, brother, I think that his lifestyle had everything to do with what happened to him."

"Why are you trying to bury your　heart?" Ivan whispered. "I saw the expression on your face as I told you that story. It’s all right to feel for your son, Iliia. He’s your blood. Your only child. You should be heartbroken and furious and a dozen other things. You should want to gather him to you and tell him how sorry you are for all that’s happened these many years. You should want to reconcile... be his father before it’s too late."

"Why should I apologize to him?" Iliia asked, still unwilling to give an inch. "Are you saying you think this disaster he calls a life is my fault?"

"Love turned his life around, Iliia. Love might have prevented it from becoming a disaster in the first place."

"So, you are blaming me."

"I’m blaming us all. If you had shown more interest in him during his formative years, and if the rest of us had not let you　bully us into not going　to his graduation and keeping in touch with him, I think he might not have gotten involved with such terrible people."

"I never thought I’d see the day when my own brother turned against me."

"I’ve done no such thing," Ivan said softly. "You may not believe it, but this is as much for you as it is for Alex. I would love for you to know the joys of a father and son relationship before you pass on."

"Really? Is your relationship with Victor so joyous?"

"We have our differences, but this much is certain. I love my son, and he knows it. Don’t you think it’s time for your son to know?"

"Do you know what I think it’s time for, Ivan? Your departure. Please show yourself out."

"You are, without equal, the most obstinate man I know," Ivan said sadly. "And that is what’s got you in the position you’re in with Alex."

"No, Alex is what’s got me in this position," Iliia insisted. "If he had not always been hanging on to his grandmother’s skirts, duping her into saving him from being disciplined, he might have turned out the way he should have."

"No one duped Mama into anything. She had an incredible soft spot for Alex, and that was that. And how should he have turned out? Mean and bitter and unable to show love to the children he would have had with　a woman he could never have　been happy with?"

"No, a　homosexual assassin/thief was much, much better."

"There were reasons for the things he did."

"And reasons for his sinful relationship　with another man?"

"It’s not an easy thing to accept," Ivan answered. "I had a hard time understanding when Victor first came to me with his news.　But a big part of being a parent is loving your child unconditionally and wanting that child to be happy. I want that for Victor. I wish he could find someone... anyone who would adore him and make him happy the way Fox does Alex." Ivan sighed. "Iliia... please. Call your son. It’s not too late. I know he’ll listen if you apologize and ask for another chance to mend fences."

"I grovel at no one’s feet, least of all my son’s. Now really, Ivan, I’ve had quite enough of this, and I won’t say another word on the subject."

Ivan watched his brother return his attention to his puzzle, and he　emitted a hard sigh.

"Fine... I’ll just　say one more thing, and then I’ll leave... I’m ashamed of you, Iliia."

In the midst of sorting his puzzle pieces, Iliia froze. His　gaze remained on the table, and he said nothing.　Ivan turned and left quietly, and still Iliia sat, staring at his hands.

"Here’s one."

Scully looked up from her desk.

"One what?"

"A possible case."

"One? There are at least twelve possible cases stacked up there."

"But this is the one I want to start with."

"Okay. What’s so special about it?"

"It’s in Pennsylvania."

Scully grunted softly. "Mulder," she said. "Are you thinking about taking a detour through Lancaster?"

"Maybe."

"I know you’re pissed at Alex’s father, but do you really think it’s a good idea to confront him?"

"Pissed is a little mild, Scully," Fox rumbled. "Over the course of just half an hour, that man tore Alex down. I can’t just let this go."

Scully sighed heavily. "I know," she said. "I know, Mulder. Are you going to tell Alex that you want to see his father?"

"I will only if there’s no way around it. I know he won’t want me to go; he doesn’t want me subjected to Iliia’s abuse."

"Then maybe you should go along with his wishes."

"He has to know, Scully," Fox argued. "He has to know what he’s done to his son."

"You don’t think he knows?"

"He may know as much as Alex’s expression told him, and from whatever words that may have come from members of his family, but he doesn’t know from me." Fox’s intense gaze rested on his partner. "I’m the only one who knows the depth of Alex’s pain."

"No argument there, Mulder. But even though he hasn’t even met you yet, you’re not exactly on his list of favorite people. What makes you think he’ll even give you the opportunity to　talk to　him?"

"I don’t know for sure that he will. But I have a feeling that he won’t be able to pass up an opportunity to rake me over the coals. I’ll let him say whatever he wants to say, then it’ll be my turn."

Scully folded her arms over her chest and leaned against her desk.

"So... when are we going to investigate this... case?"

"As soon as I can get us a flight."

"What’re you going to tell Alex?"

Fox lifted the file he’d pulled out of the pile on his desk.

"We got a case."

"He’s not going to be too happy about being lied to."

"What lie? We will investigate this... " Fox flipped the folder open and read quickly. "... two foot tall, dark brown, hairy thing with three rows of teeth that chewed off the thumb of a forty year old warehouse security guard." He looked up through his lashes and smirked at his partner.

"Good God," she moaned. "Fine, Mulder. Whatever. Just don’t come pouting to me if Alex gets pissed at you. Speaking of Alex, it’s been　over two hours since you called to check on him."

Fox looked at his watch.

"I don’t want him to think I’m being a pain in the ass."

"Too late."

Fox sneered at the grinning woman.

"Well really, Mulder; you’ve called him three times today."

"I’m worried about him."

"I know... come on, let’s get this day wrapped up so you can go home and fawn all over him."

Fox gave his partner a smile then picked up the phone to make their reservations.

"Hey, Alex. Hi Clyde."

Alex stopped while his young neighbor petted the dog. "Hey, Mitchell. What’s goin’ on?"

"Nothin’ much. I’m waitin’ for Tommy to finish supper so we can get over to the park."

"Oh, yeah? What’s happening at the park?"

"We’re getting a baseball game together."

"... Oh." Alex’s eyes went to the ground. "O-okay. Well... have a good time."

"’Kay. See ya later. Bye, Clyde!"

Alex watched the boy trot across the street, then he looked down at the dog, who was staring up at him. "Let’s go, Clyde," he said quietly, and the two started off for home.

"Finish your carrots, Raiza."

"But there are so many!" Raiza said, grimacing down at her plate.

"Five, Raiza. I put five little pieces in your plate. You ate two, there are only three left."

"Can you put some more butter on them?"

"A little bit more," Maria agreed, "and that’s it."

As Maria dropped a dab of butter onto the child’s plate, the phone rang. "Eat those, now," she ordered as she picked up the receiver. "... Hello? Oh, hi! How are you? Uh huh... how’s Alex?"

"Is that Uncle Fox?" Raiza crowed, bouncing up and down in her seat. "Can I say hi?"

"Finish your carrots, and I’ll let you say hello when I’m done talking to him." Maria walked into the next room and dropped into a chair. "Sorry about that. I’m in the middle of a carrot battle with my kid."

"Oh. Want me to let you go?"

"No, no. Tell me what’s going on. How’s my cousin?"

"He surprised me by falling asleep easily, but he woke up around　one and didn’t really go back to sleep until sometime after five-thirty. He insisted that he was okay this morning and ordered me to go to work, but he didn’t look good."

Maria sighed. "Well... I got some news for you."

"Yeah?"

"Uncle Ivan went to see Alex’s father today."

"... And?"

"No progress. For a few minutes, he thought that was he was saying was having some effect, but then Uncle Iliia shut down again."

"What did he think was getting through?"

"Uncle Iliia was giving him a pretty hard time, so　Uncle Ivan　pulled out the big guns. He told him that Alex had been raped twice. That got a reaction, but the wall came back up soon after."

"How could he have heard something like that and not want to call Alex at least?"

"He’s a stubborn, stubborn man."

"Well... I’m going to see him."

"You’re... when?"

"Tomorrow. Scully and I have a case a couple of towns away from you."

"Really? Wow. Who would have thought you’d be back out this way so soon? But Fox... I don’t know how far you’re going to get with Uncle Iliia... if he agrees to see you at all."

"Yeah, I know. But I’m going to give it a shot anyway. I’ve had it with the way this man has　treated Alex, and he’s going to know it."

"Good luck."

"Thanks. Well, I’m almost home, so... I’ll say hi to Raiza, and I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay. Have a safe flight."

"Thanks."

Fox waited for only a few seconds before he heard Raiza’s little voice, greeting him excitedly.

"Hi, Uncle Fox!　 Guess what, I mailed Uncle Alex’s picture today!"

"You did? He’s going to be so surprised."

"I hope he likes it."

"He’ll love it. And I’m sure he’ll call you as soon as he gets it."

"’Kay."

"I have to go now, hon, but I’ll talk to you again real soon, okay?"

"Okay. Bye Uncle Fox."

"Bye, sweetie."

Fox disconnected and turned down the street that took him home. Minutes later, he was pulling into the garage beside Alex’s Porsche. Gripping the wheel for a moment, he grabbed his jacket and exited the car. Clyde met him at the door, giving him his　usual enthusiastic greeting.

"Yeah, okay. Hi, hi. Where’s daddy?"

Clyde led the way, bounding into the laundry room, where Alex was folding towels.

"Hey, babe."

Dull eyes met Fox’s, and Alex gave him an unconvincing smile.

"Hey."

Fox approached, pressing himself into Alex’s back and wrapping his arms around the younger man.

"How was your day?"

"Okay."

"How do you feel?"

"All right," Alex murmured then changed the subject. "How was work?"

"All right. Had a lot of cases piled up."

"Anything interesting?" Alex asked, folding the last towel and dropping it into the basket.

Fox stayed vague. "Mmmm... couple things."　He nuzzled the younger man’s ear and rocked　him gently, from side to side. "We actually have to go out of town tomorrow."

Eyes closed, Alex sighed. "Yeah?" he asked. "Where?"

"Pennsylvania, believe it or not."

Sable lashes lifted halfway, and Alex turned to face his husband. He stared, saying nothing.

"Listen to this one. This warehouse guard got his..."

"Fox..."

"Huh?"

"What are you up to?"

"What d’you mean?"

"Lisa, I know how furious you must be about yesterday. But ripping into my father is not going to change anything. It’s not going to change what happened, and it’s not going to change how he feels about it."

Alex fell silent for several seconds, then rested his head on Fox’s shoulder. Fox lifted a hand to his head and stroked gently.

"... I really do have a case in Pennsylvania."

"Some coincidence, huh?"

Fox let out a long sigh. "Remember the day we told my mother about us? She went up one side of me and down the other. Remember how mad you were? Would you have backed off and not read her the riot act if I’d asked you to?"

Alex wound his arms around Fox.

"Probably not."

"Probably not?"

"I couldn’t let her hurt you like that and... get away with it."

Those last few words trailed off, and Alex lifted his head.

"You walked me into that one. 　But..."

"But what?"

"I don’t know, I... your mother was way off base, holding you responsible for your sister. She had no right to..."

"And what about your father?" Fox interrupted. "He isn’t way off base?"

Alex’s gaze dropped again. "It happened. There’s no getting around it."

"But does he have any more right than my mother had to be so cruel about it?"

Alex shrugged.

"He doesn’t, Alex. It might not make a bit of difference, but that man isn’t going　to treat　you the way he did　without your husband having something to say about it."

"I understand that you feel the need to give him a piece of your mind, lisa..."

"Okay, then."

"But it isn’t worth it. Don’t, okay? Please don’t."

Fox’s head tilted to one side as he studied his husband. "Alex, what... " He stopped a moment, his mind going. "What do you think is going to happen if I talk to your father? You think he’s going to convince me that your mother’s death was all your fault?"

Alex blinked and lowered his gaze.

"Oh, for... " Fox grasped the other man’s chin and lifted his head. "Are you kidding me?" he asked, a tinge of irritation seeping into his tone. "Alex, how can you... what would make you... Christ!"

"If a parent thinks his own child is scum," Alex droned, "and not without reason, how　hard could　it be for anyone else to believe it?"

"Listen to me, and you’d better hear this," Fox demanded. "First of all, I’m your husband, not ‘anyone else’. Second... your father’s opinion doesn’t mean jack shit to me. He　hasn’t been a real father to you since you were a kid. He　hasn’t a fucking clue about　the man you’ve become." His tone gentled. "I know. And I despise him for doing this to you." He wound his arms around Alex and hugged him tightly to his chest. "And he’s going to know it."

"He doesn’t care what you think of him," Alex whispered, clenching his hands in the back of Fox’s shirt.

"I’m sure he doesn’t," Fox said, running one hand up and down Alex’s back. "But he’s going to hear it anyway. That and a whole lot more."

"... And I can’t convince you not to go?"

"No, you can’t."

Alex stayed silent.

"Are you mad at me?"

"... No, just..."

"Just what?"

"... Sorry."

"About?"

"All of this. I should have stayed away. I never should have gone to see him. If I hadn’t, I would have stayed ignorant to the circumstances of my mother’s death, and I wouldn’t be putting you through all this drama." He shook his head.　" More drama. All that stuff with the consortium, the shit I put you through early in our relationship... then there was Saint James and Matthew... now my father... " Sad green eyes looked into Fox’s. "How much more can you take?"

"As much as comes my way," Fox answered without hesitation. "Is there a finite amount of my　drama that you’ll deal with?"

Alex shook his head then lowered it.

"Yours is mine, and mine is yours." Fox took Alex’s left hand in his and lifted both so that their rings were visible. "That’s what these are about, aren’t they?"

A tiny smile formed on Alex’s lips as he looked down at their hands. "Yeah," he rasped then kissed Fox’s hand and held it to his cheek. "I love you, lisa. I want nothing more than to be able to make every day perfect and happy for you, but it never turns out that way, does it?"

"Alexei," Fox whispered, letting his thumb skim his husband’s mouth. "Every　day that I can wake up and go to sleep beside you is perfect."

"Even with all the fights and kidnappings and misunderstandings and rotten parents in between?"

"Absolutely," Fox purred, moving in to dust Alex’s mouth with a soft kiss. "I’d rather live in a state of craziness with you than be alone in peace and quiet."

Alex’s smile returned. "You really are nuts."

"And you’re perfectly sane, right?"

"How can I be?" Alex teased gently. "I live with you."

Emitting a low chuckle, Fox pulled　him into a long, sweet kiss. He released the younger man with a teasing swipe of his tongue and turned toward the door, holding onto his hand.

"Come help me pack, ‘kay? Then we’ll figure out what we’re gonna do about dinner."

Packing went quickly, and Alex waited while Fox changed into comfortable jeans and a t-shirt,　then the men retreated to the kitchen, where Alex opened the refrigerator door and stared inside.

"I don’t know why I’m looking in here. I haven’t even been shopping yet. He shut the door and turned to lean against it. "So, what d’you want to order?"

"Pizza’s fine with me," Fox said, picking up Clyde’s bowl. He pointed to the refrigerator, and Alex turned to get the dog’s food out. Whining softly, Clyde paced back and forth as Fox prepared his dinner. "So," he began as he mixed the food in the bowl. "When I asked you how you were, you said you were all right, and that was it." He　set the bowl on the floor　and watched Clyde wolf it down. "Is that true, or were you just hoping I’d leave it at that?"

Alex folded his arms over his chest and leaned against the counter, looking down at the floor.

"Should’ve known better than that, right?"

"Uh huh. Now tell me how you really feel."

Alex let out a long sigh.

"I don’t know. I... I’ve spent the better part of the day telling myself that what you said to me was true. That what happened was not my fault."

Hazel eyes stared intently at the other man.

"But?"

"It’s hard." He looked up, meeting Fox’s eye. He shrugged. "It’s hard," he repeated, this time barely above a whisper.

Fox answered with understanding silence.

"I was thinking about when you were shot. The guilt... it was crushing.　I think it　was　worse because it was right in the moment, you know? And I loved you so much, and you didn’t know it, and you may never have got to know it... but this... it definitely runs a very close second."

Fox nodded.

"This can’t be resolved," Alex went on softly. "She’s gone, and it’s because of me, and that’s it. And I have to find a way to deal with it."

Fox closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath. As it softly blew out, his lashes lifted. "What you have to do," he said, "is find a way to convince yourself that it was an accident, and you were not at fault."

"Would she have been on that road if I hadn’t left my jacket behind?" Alex asked, then answered his own question. "No. She wouldn’t have."

"You don’t know that for sure," Fox said. "She may have decided to go to the store for something. Or just go and watch you play. Did she never do that?"

"... She used to go watch games when I was a kid."

"Okay, well, she might have decided to go watch you that day. You don’t know."

"But that’s not how it went, lisa. She went out because I was didn’t take my jacket like she’d told me to. And that’s why she’s dead."

Fox pushed away from his spot on the other side of the kitchen and slowly approached his husband. Sliding his hands over Alex’s shoulders, he leaned in, resting his forehead against the younger man’s.

"I won’t keep telling you not to let this eat at you. I know it’s pointless. Please just don’t let it get so overwhelming that it paralyzes you... please."

Alex wound his arms around Fox’s waist and pulled him close. He rested his head on the older man’s shoulder and closed his eyes. "I’ll try," he whispered. "I just... I need some time, I guess."

Fox nodded. "And you won’t keep anything bottled up?"

"No. No walls, I promise."

"It’s all I can ask, I guess."

The men stood quietly, arms wrapped around each other, then Fox broke the silence.

"So, uh... you hungry?"

"A little, I guess," came the small voice from the vicinity of his left shoulder. "You wanna call for that pizza now, and I’ll go fill the feeders?"

"Sure."

Before letting　Alex go, Fox laid a long, passionate kiss on him then watched as he　shuffled out the back door and into the yard. He stared at the door for several seconds then went in search of the phone.

In the yard, Alex walked slowly to the shed and pulled out three different buckets. Finding that the one containing the songbird mix was a bit light, he made a mental note to pick up another bag soon. He filled the feeders then took a walk around the yard, letting the late summer air fill his lungs. He stopped at the row of hydrangea bushes at the south end of the property and stared at the huge blue and lavender blooms. He hadn’t watered today, and the bushes were starting to show a bit of heat stress. The sun was setting now, and it had cooled off enough that they would be okay, but he’d have to remember to get out here first thing tomorrow morning with the hose.

He continued his tour of the yard for another fifteen minutes or so, then returned to the house, stopping at the patio. He stood there, watching the shadows of the coming evening stretch across the grass, and a wave of sadness hit him full on. He made it to a chair before his knees refused to hold him up any longer, and he sank into it. He took in a hard breath and then another. He fought the shudders that threatened to overtake　him, but it wasn’t long at all before they won, and he bent over, wrapping his arms around his chest. Fox found him that way a few minutes later. Groaning softly, he came to kneel in front of the younger man and laid a gentle hand on his head.

"Baby..."

"... I’m okay," Alex said on a shaky breath.

"Really?"

A couple of seconds passed before Alex lifted his head. "No," he said, trying to smile, but he couldn’t call up the strength to manage it.

Fox sighed heavily and pulled Alex’s head down into his shoulder. The younger man sat quietly, eyes closed as he struggled to keep a lid on his emotions. Fox gave him all the time he needed, and when he was ready, he lifted his head and brushed his husband’s mouth with a soft kiss.

"You wanna call for that pizza now?"

Fox tipped his head slightly to one side and studied the other man.

"I already did. It should be here soon. You wanna stay out here, or go in the house?"

"No," Alex breathed, rising unsteadily to his feet. "We can go inside."

Winding an arm securely around the other man’s waist, Fox walked him through the kitchen and into the living room. Alex dropped heavily onto the sofa, and combed a hand through his hair, anchoring it in the thick stands at the back of his head as his eyes closed.

"Head hurt?"

"Little bit," Alex whispered.

"Want something for it?"

Eyes still closed, Alex nodded silently. Fox ran to get him　some painkillers, then the two sat quietly until the pizza arrived some five minutes later. They sat in front of the television not really watching the evening news as they　ate off of paper plates. Fox watched Alex nibble at the same slice of sausage and onion for more than ten minutes then set the half eaten slice down.

"No appetite, huh?"

Alex sat back and drew in a long breath, letting it out slowly. His gaze went from the pizza to Fox.

"Sorry."

Fox shook his head. "What’re you apologizing to me for?"

Alex shrugged, pushing the pizza around on the plate. "... Not being able to shake this off. Giving you stuff to worry about... again. We’re newlyweds.　Everything’s supposed to be all wonderful and rosy."

"Who says?" Fox asked. "Shit happens, babe. And it’s not as if the problem is between us."

Alex sighed. "Yeah."

"Okay. So... you gonna eat any more of that?"

Alex held his hand to his stomach. "I really don’t think I can."

Fox got up and removed the food then returned and　nestled into a corner of the sofa, pulling Alex into his arms. The younger man rested there, eyes closed as he absorbed his husband’s warmth. Slowly combing his fingers through Alex’s hair, Fox cooed softly to him.

"It’ll turn out okay. Your father will come around, and he’ll realize what a terrible thing he’s done to you."

"And if　he doesn’t?"

"If　he doesn’t," Fox breathed, "to hell with him. You’ve got other people who love you. Your aunts and uncles, Maria and Raiza. You’ve got Scully and Maggie..."

Alex looked up at Fox, his eyes　overflowing with　adoration and gratitude. "I’ve got　you," he　said,　barely　above a whisper.

Fox smiled down at his husband. "That’s a given," he murmured　then came in for a soft, teasing kiss. Remembering Alex’s headache, he planned to leave it at that, but Alex wound an arm around his neck and pulled him down into a much more heated　exchange.　Fox moaned into his mouth and pulled him closer. "What about your head?" he gasped as Alex pulled away momentarily.

"Take my mind off of it," Alex answered as he claimed another kiss.

Fox asked no more questions. He simply obeyed the breathy command. Shifting so that Alex was lying on his back, Fox stretched out　on top of him and engaged him in another passionate but tender kiss. Minutes later, both shirts were off, and Fox had just started working on Alex’s pants when a soft snuffling got his attention.

"Ahhh, shit."

Turning his head, he found Clyde at the end of the sofa, slowly approaching　them.

"Clyde, get lost."

He may just as well have said let’s play, because the dog stuck his rear end in the air, tail swinging wildly and began yapping at them.

"I’ll put him out."

Depositing one more brief kiss on the　younger man’s mouth, Fox boosted himself to his　feet and called to the dog, clapping his hands as he trotted toward the kitchen.

"Come on Clyde!　 Come on,　boy! Let’s go outside, you pain in my..."

Alex chuckled softly as the　dog followed happily. Seconds later, he heard the back door close, and Fox re-appeared in the living room.

"Now," the older man purred as he sat beside his reclining husband. "Where were we?"

"I think," Alex　murmured, his hand moving slowly over Fox’s thigh, "you were about to fuck me till I couldn’t see straight."

One corner of Fox’s mouth pulled into a sensuous smirk.　"Really?" he asked softly.

Alex nodded as his hand crept over the growing bulge in Fox’s pants. Golden-brown eyelashes drooped heavily, and Fox’s hand lightly covered his lover’s as it gently kneaded his denim restricted cock. He　moved his hand in unison with the other man’s for a moment then slid it underneath, undoing his button and zipper. He worked his hand inside the opening and withdrew the lengthy shaft then rested his palm on his thigh.　Alex’s fingers were there immediately, curling around him,　teasing and stroking.

Fox’s head dropped　back for a moment, and his respiration deepened. When he looked back down at Alex, he found the　younger man watching him intently. Holding Alex’s gaze, he reached　down and unfastened his pants. Alex’s hand fell away from　Fox’s　erection as the older man shifted and pulled his pants off. Then, ridding him of the remainder of his clothing, Fox　rose to his feet and pulled off　his own pants.

"Stay put," he ordered softly and turned to walk away.

"Where’re you going?"

"Lube."

"No," Alex said, afraid that in the brief amount of time it would take for Fox to go to the bedroom, all those unwanted thoughts would creep back in. He knew it would happen again, probably soon after they were finished making love, but　then wasn’t now, and that was as much as he could hope for.

Fox took the few steps necessary to return to the sofa, and looked down into eyes glittering with warring emotions. His eyes not leaving Alex’s face, he slowly removed his underwear, then he　settled himself on top of him, letting his husband bear his full weight.

A long moan escaped Alex’s throat, and he sought Fox’s mouth as his hands stroked possessively over the older man’s back and rear. As they kissed, Fox　writhed against him, letting him feel every inch of his aroused body, and then his tongue slipped inside Alex’s　mouth, stroking the warm interior. Alex’s fingers flexed, clenching in the hard muscles of　Fox’s ass, and he ground his hips against the older man as　Fox pushed deeper into his mouth.

Several minutes of intense teasing　went by before　Fox　pulled away from his lover’s demanding mouth, gasping softly. Alex tried to pull him back down, but he resisted.

"Lisa..."

"Shhh.　Take it easy, baby," Fox crooned, nipping gently at the younger man’s shoulder. "I don’t think　you want to end this just yet, do you?"

Frowning, Alex shook his head.

"Give me a minute, then."

Alex whined　but settled down as Fox strung a line of tender kisses along his throat.

"Don’t move," Fox breathed, licking the underside of Alex’s chin. "Just let me."

Alex’s mouth opened, and a　small, rusty squeak tumbled out as his husband worked his way downward, lavishing him with loving attention. His head rolled to the side, his fingers combing restlessly through　Fox’s hair as the older man’s tongue fluttered and　stroked over his feverishly warm skin. A broken gasp gurgled in his throat when it flicked delicately over his left nipple, and Fox sucked it into his mouth.　Unable to stay open any longer, his　eyelids fluttered and closed, and he gave himself up to the　intense tingles that originated at the point of contact and spread through every nerve in his body.

Fox kept his touches light and　his movements lazy,　trying to　soothe Alex and keep things from spiraling past the point　where he’d have no choice but to take him over the edge. Slowly, he worked his way over to his husband’s other nipple, teasing it with whisper soft brushes of his　mouth, then he moved on.

The barely visible, downy　hairs that covered Alex’s abdomen stood up on end, and gooseflesh rose on his skin as Fox’s lips ghosted over the trembling surface.　The tip of the older man’s tongue circled his navel　once, twice, then traced a jagged line downward. Alex’s back arched, and his cock jumped, nudging the underside of Fox’s chin as his mouth grazed the sensitive skin below his navel. Fox stopped where he was, looking up through his lashes at Alex’s face.

"Don’t move," he warned again.

Alex shuddered as the low, two word command vibrated against his skin. His teeth clenched at the touch of Fox’s tongue on the head of his cock, and a desperate moan rolled in his chest as his lover gently took him into his mouth.

It was soft, like the morning damp grass felt against his bare feet on one of his early strolls through the yard. Its familiarity　was comforting, its effect on his body, shattering.　The hand in Fox’s hair　tightened into a fist, and Alex fought to keep from bucking into his mouth. Fox smiled around his mouthful, and he moved lower, slowly swallowing every inch of his lover’s cock. Alex twitched involuntarily, and a short, rough groan broke past his parted lips. Fox pulled up slowly, sucking momentarily on the head before releasing it. Resting his cheek on Alex’s thigh, he smiled sweetly up at the　younger man.

"How’re you doing?"

"Great," Alex breathed and said nothing more.

"You sure?"

"... N-not so much."

The smile got wider, and Fox turned his face into the inside of Alex’s thigh and　fastened his mouth to the fragile flesh. The suction applied wasn’t intense, but it was　enough to send the recipient into　spasms of pleasure. When he’d left a mark that he was sure would last a　few days, Fox released pressure and tenderly soothed the reddened skin with his tongue. Nuzzling the tightening sac that hung just　above his nose, he moved upward.

Alex withstood the flurry of teasing touches as Fox　rose to meet his eyes,　and as the older man again settled on top of him, he wrapped his　arms around him and draped one long　leg over his hip. Their eyes stayed locked as Fox’s hand slid over Alex’s other leg then hooked under his knee and lifted.　Alex followed his lover’s direction, and now both legs were wrapped securely around him.　No words left his lips, but his eyes spoke for him, and Fox understood. He sank into a deep kiss as he grasped his cock at the base and as gently as he could,　worked it into his husband’s unprepared opening.

A guttural moan rumbled against Fox’s mouth, and Alex’s muscles tightened in response to the dry invasion. At the same time, his hands slid down to Fox’s ass, gripping both　cheeks,　and encouraging the older man to push harder. Fox obeyed and, slowly but firmly thrust forward, forcing Alex to yield to him.

A loud sigh hit the air as Alex’s head snapped back. His teeth came　together with an audible click as　he took in the last of his husband’s erection. Without the ease of a lubricated entry, Fox felt even more sizeable than he was, and even this many years later, accommodating all of him without assistance was no Sunday stroll in the park. That wasn’t to say that Alex didn’t love the feeling.　It was an incredible turn on for him.　And Fox knew it.

Their connection now complete, Fox　rocked against Alex, making sure that every　last bit of him was buried inside the younger man.　He cupped　Alex’s face in his palms and called his　name softly. Sable lashes lifted, and a forest green gaze focused on him. He held Alex’s　eyes for several seconds before claiming a sweet kiss, then he started to move, establishing a slow, careful rhythm. As hard as he tried to stretch it out, it wasn’t long at all before that familiar, tight coiling began in the pit of his stomach, and he knew that he wouldn’t last. He　worked a hand between them and grasped Alex’s cock, squeezing　and stroking gently, and the younger man　jerked, sobbing incoherent words of encouragement. Fox buried his face in the curve of Alex’s shoulder, breathing deeply as he strengthened his thrusts a bit.

Loud sobs gurgled in Alex’s throat, and he thrashed against Fox,　taking whatever little control had remained and shredding it pieces. His fingers bit into his husband’s back as Fox doubled his efforts, and he howled his appreciation. Orgasm hit him an instant later, a warm geyser of semen　flowing over Fox’s hand, and his hoarse cries filled the air.　Panting heavily, Fox pounded into him, the slap of flesh　growing louder as his movements became more frantic. Alex held him　tightly as he came,　his choked sobs muffled by　the other man’s shoulder, and when he　collapsed　with an exhausted grunt on top of his lover, Alex’s　legs dropped to the　cushions, but　he maintained his firm embrace. Several seconds　passed before Fox lifted his head and focused a limp gaze on his husband.

"... You okay?"

A lazy smiled curled Alex’s lips.

"You mean, am I　going to be able to　sit tomorrow?" He stretched luxuriously. "Don’t know." He held Fox’s eyes with a dreamy gaze as he lightly stroked his　back with his fingertips. "I love that feeling."

"What feeling?" Fox asked, his tone lowering to match his lover’s.

"Being so　incredibly full of you." Alex purred. "I can never get enough."

Fox kissed the younger man’s forehead.　"Tired now?"

Alex nodded.

"Well, go to bed. I’ll take Clyde for a quick walk, then I’ll be in."

"No, I’ll go with you."

"Then you’ll wake up," Fox reasoned. "You may not be able to go to sleep after."

"I’ll be all right."

"Your eyes are half closed."

Alex gave him a weary smirk. "They’re half open."

Fox lowered his head until they were nose to nose. "Go to bed," he warned sweetly then dusted his husband’s mouth with a soft kiss.

Alex watched Fox get up and get dressed.　With a noisy kiss　thrown into the air, the older man left the room. Alex lay there for a while, staring into space, then　he got up　and slowly gathered his clothes. Shutting off the light, he　headed upstairs.

"Fox, put the paper down and eat. Scully’s gonna be calling any minute, and you..."

Before Alex could finish the sentence, the house phone rang.

"See? Morning, Scully... I’m okay... yeah, I figured he would... no, it’s okay; you’re as close as any sister. Can you do me a favor? Try to keep him from getting into too much trouble... I know. That’s why I said try. All right. Safe trip."

Alex handed the phone to Fox.

"Hey."

"Hey. He sounds okay."

"Yeah. Well."

"Okay, I get it. We’ll talk in the car?"

"Yeah. I’ll be there in about forty-five minutes."

"’Kay. See you soon."

Fox hung up and looked across the kitchen table at his husband.

"You didn’t get a lot of sleep last night."

Alex shrugged. "Kept waking up."

Fox reached　out, skimming the younger man’s jaw with his fingers.

"You’re not going to try again to talk me out of going to your father’s?"

"Would it do me any good?"

Fox gave the younger man a smile and said nothing.

"Thought so... where’s your bag?"

"Still in the bedroom."

Fox　picked up a slice of untouched toast and held it between　his teeth as he got up from the table. Alex followed,　and the couple made their way to the second floor.

"I’ll call　when we land," Fox said, chewing on his toast as he picked up the bag. He swallowed down the last bite and wrapped his free arm around Alex’s waist, and the two went back downstairs. Alex let Clyde in, and Fox bent　to scratch the top of the broad head. "You behave," he said, then straightened up and grinned at his husband. "I don’t know why I bother. The word means nothing to him." He put the bag down and pulled Alex again him. "I’ll　be back as soon as I can," he whispered before planting　a soft kiss on the younger man’s mouth. When he pulled back, he　read the guilt and worry in　Alex’s eyes.

"Alex..."

The green gaze dropped to the patch of floor between them.

"Baby... you know I have to do this. He’s gotta know. I have to let him know."

"It doesn’t matter, Fox," Alex murmured. "It’s out there. And it can　never come back. From here on out, no matter what, it’s my burden to carry."

"But he’s going to know what he’s done by putting it out there."

Alex said nothing. Fox kissed him again.

"I gotta go. I love you."

Alex wound his arms around the older man and laid his head on　his shoulder.

"I love you, lisa.　If I had ten lifetimes to tell you, it wouldn’t be enough."

Fox held Alex in a firm embrace, then he released the other man with one more kiss, and he opened the door　into the garage.

"Call you soon."

Alex nodded and walked into the garage as Fox started his car and backed out　of the yard and into the street.　He stood in the open doorway and waved, waiting until　Fox’s car was out of sight before he　pushed the button, lowering the garage door.

"Come on, Clyde. Let’s go for a walk."

Slowly, he trailed the yapping dog into the house.

"So.　What d’you think?"

"I think it’s a damn ugly wound. But until we get those　labs back, there’s not much else we can do."

"Agreed. So... I’m going to drop you off at the motel and then go pay my father-in-law a little visit."

Scully scrubbed her fingers through her hair. "Alex didn’t try and talk you out of it when you called him?"

"No. There’s no doubt that he wishes I wouldn’t go, but he knows how he’d feel if our situations were reversed. Hell,　they were reversed for the most part, when I told my mother about　us. He remembers what that need to blast her　felt like."

Scully　sighed softly.

"Hey, Mulder, I’m with　you a hundred percent. That rotten old S.O.B. deserves a　serious reaming. I’m just worried about　any potential backlash."

"Things can’t get any worse," Fox answered, taking the turnoff for the motel. "Iliia’s seen to that."

They pulled up in front of the motel and　Scully opened her door.

"Good luck,　Mulder. Come to my room when you get back."

Fox nodded, and the redhead shut the door. He watched her go inside then,　taking a moment to center himself and review his attack plan, he put the car in drive and headed to his father-in-law’s house.

Alex emptied the last bag of bird food into its proper bucket, then he snapped the cap on and gathered up the empty bags. Rolling them up, he tossed them into the garbage and headed for the house. As he got closer, he realized that the phone was ringing. He broke into a jog and, with　Clyde romping behind him, he　entered through the open kitchen　door and snatched up the phone. Taking a quick look at the caller ID, he　answered.

"Hello?"

"Hi Uncle Alex!"

The happy squeal of a child’s voice brought a smile to his lips.

"Hey, peanut!　How are you?"

"I’m okay. How are you? Are　you better now? You looked so sad the other day."

"I’m okay, baby. Thank you for worrying about me."

"You’re welcome. What’d you do today?"

"Not too much. Washed clothes, did some housework... went out and bought some bird seed..."

"You have birds?"

"In the yard, yeah."

"Oh. I found a robin’s egg once. Did you know that they’re blue?"

Alex grinned. "Really? Wow."

"Uh huh and... okay. Mummy wants to talk to you."

"Okay, hon. I’ll talk to you again soon. Love you."

"Love you too. Here’s Mummy."

"Hey, Alex.　Sorry, but if I didn’t stop her now, you would have been on the phone until sometime after dinner. So, how are you?"

"I’m okay."

"You looked terrible the other day. Alex, I’m so sorry. I can’t believe what your father did."

"Yeah, well, he may be a spiteful, heartless old bastard,　but he was never a liar."

"No, he’s not a liar, Alex, but slapping you with the blame for your mother’s death　is spiteful and heartless, and I’ll never forgive him for that."

"Don’t change your relationship with him for me. I don’t want to throw all your lives into turmoil."

"You didn’t. He did　it with his　total lack of compassion."

"He’s entitled to his　feelings, Maria."

"And he thinks we should all conform to those feelings," Maria argued softly. "And we were stupid enough to have done so for all those years. No more."

Alex sighed softly and went silent for a while, then he changed the subject a bit.

"Do you know Fox is there in town?"

"... Yeah."

"So, you know he’s going to see my father."

"Uh huh."

"Don’t you think it’s a bad idea?"

"I think it may be a waste of time, but　he loves you. And you’ve been hurt. I understand why he feels he can’t let it go　unanswered.　You know, if Raiza’s father had been a fraction as devoted to me, I might have still been with him."

"What happened, if you don’t mind me asking?"

"I don’t mind. It’s only fair; I know　all your business. Uh... well, it’s like this. Adam Orlov was a good looking, charming man. Attentive, polite... everyone liked him. It wasn’t until he had suckered me in that I found out one very important thing. The man had no idea how to be married.　He came in any time he wanted and　didn’t think he owed me any explanation... he spent more time with his friends than with me... he’d　hide money from me... and it wasn’t until much later that I found out why. Apparently　he thought that having two or three women on the side was a　good thing to do."

Alex groaned.

"When I found out I was pregnant, I stupidly thought that maybe that was what he needed to help him grow up.　It wasn’t. If anything, he got worse. In my fifth month was when　I found out　that he was cheating on me. That was it. I left him, and he let me go without a fight.　He didn’t want to be a father, that was　very clear.　We divorced as soon as I could get it done, and he’s never seen his daughter."

"God. Did you at least hit him up for child support?"

"No. I didn’t want any ties to him whatsoever. I don’t know where he　is or what he’s doing, and I want it to stay that way. Raiza does not need him in her life."

"Does she ever　ask about him?"

"Well, since she never knew　him, it makes things a little easier, but she　sees her other friends’ dads, and she’s been curious about why she doesn’t have a father. You don’t tell a five year old that her dad　is the biggest jackass there ever was,　and I can’t lie and tell her that he’s dead, so I kept is simple and just told her that she doesn’t have one. I don’t know how long that’s going to fly, but at least it gives me a little time to think　about it."

"I’m sorry you went through all that."

"Thanks. Well, I guess we can’t all　be lucky enough to find a prince charming like Fox."

Alex broke into the first really hardy laughter he’d had in days.

"Fox? Prince　charming?" More laughter. "He’s　impatient, arrogant, ill-tempered, stubborn, borderline psychotic..."

"And you love him madly," Maria interrupted. "There was adoration dripping from every word."

"Yeah," Alex said softly. "That stuff might be a deal breaker for some, but it works for me. And, on the more conventional side, he’s also brilliant,　protective, generous, sensitive, funny, loyal, sexy as hell... and he loves me." There was a long pause, then he spoke again, his tone soft and tinged with a bit of sadness. "I’m not good enough for him, Maria. I never was. Yet, he loves me."

"I’ll bet he hates it when you say that you’re not good enough for him."

"Definitely one of the points we agree to disagree on."

"I repeat, cousin, you’re a lucky man."

"... I am. I really am."

"Try not　to worry too much," Maria advised. "It’ll be fine. Even if Fox isn’t able to get through to your father, what have you lost?"

"My peace of mind," Alex answered. "Self-respect... I’d lost those things completely, and I never thought I’d have them again. Fox gave most of that back to me. And now..."

"What do you mean, Alex?"

"What?"

"You said Fox gave most of it back to you."

"There’s this little bit. This tiny piece of me that can’t get totally comfortable with it. It’s not something I brood over every day, but it’s there. And sometimes it comes out."

"Like a little while ago when you said that you weren’t good enough for him."

Silence.

"Alex..."

"My mother died because of me. That’s not something I can just shrug off."

"It wasn’t because of you. But since it doesn’t seem as though anyone’s going to be able to convince you otherwise, you have to find a way to live with it. You gotta put things in perspective. Don’t let your father’s spite　take from you what’s taken you so long to find."

"I am trying," Alex murmured. "It’s hard to stop thinking about, though."

"I can only imagine how you feel," Maria said. "But you’ll be okay. I know you will."

"Thanks, Maria."

"I’m always available for a little pep talk, should you need one, okay?"

"’Kay."

"You take care, and I’ll talk to you again real soon."

"All right. Kiss Raiza for me."

"Will do. Bye, Alex."

"Bye."

Alex hung up and, glancing down at his watch, got up and headed to the kitchen to give Clyde his dinner.

"Are you finished with that?"

Iliia lifted his cup of tea to his mouth, grunting before taking a sip.

Natalie cleared the dinner plates away, leaving her husband alone in the dining room. He sat quietly at the table for a while, then he rose slowly to his feet and shuffled into the living room, where he picked up the remote control and turned on the evening news. Halfway through the weather, the doorbell rang.

"Natalie... Natalie."

Grumbling to himself, Iliia pushed himself out of his chair and made his way to the door. He couldn’t keep the shock out of his expression as he opened it and found the man his son was now calling his husband, standing on the porch. Gray lashes blinked twice, then his features hardened, and his gaze went icy.

"Well. I don’t suppose you’re here for a social call."

"I wish I were," Fox said flatly. "Mr. Krycek, I’d like to talk to you."

"Well, I don’t want to talk to you, so if you’ve made a trip all the way back here just for that, I’m afraid you’ve wasted your time."

"Let him in, Iliia."

The old man turned as fast as his legs would allow, and he scowled at his wife.

"You knew he was going to come here, didn’t you?"

"Yes, I knew," Natalie said.

"And you purposely kept it from me?"

"Yes."

"Why would you do such a thing?"

"You know why. Now, let him in."

"I’ll do no such thing."

"You will, Iliia," Natalie demanded, sounding as angry as Iliia had ever heard her. She stormed to the door and took Fox’s hand. "Come in, dear."

Fox followed the woman into the house and accepted a brief hug from her.

"How was your flight?"

"It was fine."

"Dana came with you, didn’t she? How is she?"

"Isn’t this lovely?" Iliia broke in. "You two conversing like old friends."

"Not friends, Iliia," Natalie said. "Family.　This boy is family."

"Ah, yes. My son-in-law."

"That’s right," Natalie snapped. "And he’s here to talk to you. So, stop being a stubborn, spiteful old goat, and listen to him."

Iliia glared.

Natalie squeezed Fox’s hand, giving the younger man a reassuring smile, then she walked out of the room, leaving the two men alone.

"Mr. Krycek..."

"Leave my house."

"Not until you hear me out."

"I don’t care about anything you have to say."

"I’m sure you don’t. But you’re going to hear it anyway... you’re a piss poor excuse for a father."

Iliia stared daggers at the intruder.

"Not exactly the way to get on my good side."

"I wasn’t trying to."

"Leave my house."

"Did you love your mother?"

"Did you not hear me?"

"I heard. Did you love your mother?"

"I don’t have to answer any of your questions."

"True. You don’t. It’s okay, I talk to myself quite often... you did love her of course. Respected her. She took care of you and your brother and　sister by herself after your father died, and she did a hell of a job. She was a lot tougher lady than you thought she could be. Her word was law, and she kept her children in line.　No one questioned or God forbid, disobeyed. You admired her so much, you made a vow to yourself to run your family the same way. And you did. You did everything the way she did it, and she should have been impressed and proud. Instead, she critiqued you at every turn. Nothing you did was quite good enough, was it? Then Alex was born, and she showered more affection and attention on him than you thought she’d ever possessed."

Iliia scowled at Fox, saying nothing.

"On the one hand, you finally did something good. You fathered a child she adored. On the other hand, she didn’t give you proper credit for it, and it drove you crazy. It made you unnecessarily hard on Alex. You told yourself and everyone else that it was because he needed discipline, but the truth was, you were punishing him for getting　what should have been yours.　When　your wife died, you couldn’t persecute him the way you would have done had your mother not been there to　protect him.　It infuriated you when she insisted that you not tell him the circumstances of her death as you saw them. Even after your mother had passed, you abided by her　wishes, but you found another way to punish Alex, didn’t you?"

"You know nothing of me or my family, and I’ll thank you to not　pretend as though you do," Iliia rumbled.

Fox crossed his arms over his chest and studied the man.

"I did criminal profiles in the FBI, Mr. Krycek.　I still do. And I am very, very good at my job. I can read people. Their personalities,　what motivates them. I know what motivates　you.　You’re a jealous, resentful man. And you’ve aimed it at the　last person in the world you should ever want to... your son."

"Are you finished?"

"Not by a long shot.　You took what　should　have been a　happy, outgoing, successful, upstanding　young man and turned him into a lonely,　unfeeling, self-destructive, thug."

"How dare you," Iliia hissed. "I didn’t tell my son to go out and become a double agent and a　murderer, Mr.... whatever your name is.　He made that decision all on his own."

Fox didn’t bother to remind his father-in-law of his name.

"He did make the decision... but he　very well may not have if he thought he had a single soul in the world that he meant something to." Fox cocked his head slightly. "Do you get that? Who was there for him to turn to　for comfort at the end of　a　bad day... or to share　a good day with him? Who was there to tell him that they loved him? That he wasn’t alone?" Fox paused, his eyes burning into the old man’s. "No one." His　voice went very soft. "He had no one.　His life was like that for so long, that he’d had himself convinced that he didn’t need anyone. That being alone was the best thing... the only thing."

Iliia turned around, walking slowly toward a chair and sank into it, facing away from　Fox, but Fox went on.

"He’d had it all settled in his mind. That would be his life... for as long as　his life lasted. And then one day　everything got turned inside out. He saw me, and for whatever reason, he fell hard. Can you imagine what that feels like? For years,　there’s nothing but a black hole where your heart used to be, and then," Fox snapped his fingers. "all these feelings come crashing down on you. You’re drowning in them, and there’s no one to save you. You’re sure that there’s no way in hell the person you’ve got the feelings for would ever return them, and as quick as　that, you find yourself in a worse hell than the one you’ve been in for years... worse, because this one is emotional. There’s　no escape from your own　mind...

"He thought I was unattainable. Far too good for　some one like him. And the deeper his feelings got, the more he was reminded of how worthless he was.　He still feels that way, you know."

Iliia said nothing.

"Alex can give off more attitude than any twenty people I know. Most people look at him and see a man who’s stone cold sure of himself, but way deep down, there are insecurities he just can’t shake. He doesn’t think he’s nearly good enough for me. It comes out sometimes, and it breaks my heart because I love him so much, and he just can’t let himself believe with his whole heart and soul that it’s for　real." Fox walked around the chair and came to stand in front of the other man. "Do you know what he said to me just the other day?" Fox continued,　not　actually expecting Iliia to guess. "He said that　if his own father thinks he’s scum, how hard should it be for anyone else to think it? It goes up one side of me and　down the other that　what you think of him should mean this much." He held his thumb and forefinger less than half an inch apart.

"Not that I believe what I think means anything at all to him, but I am his father," Iliia said　coldly.

"Any man with a normal sperm count can be a father," Fox hissed, then he crossed his arms over his chest."Doesn’t mean much　if you don’t walk the walk... do you know what happened to him a while back? Did anyone tell you?"

"If you’re talking about the fact that he was assaulted twice, I know. Let’s not relive it."

"Why?" Fox asked. "Did it bother you to hear?"

No response.

"Do you　know that he was kidnapped from our home, caged like an animal and　whipped?"

Iliia’s head lowered a bit.

"He still has scars on his back from the harder lashings. Do you hear me?" Fox asked. "Your son was caged and whipped. He was tortured　and raped. And the emotional torment he suffered for a long time afterward was horrific. Did he deserve that? Do you see it as some... divine payback for the death of your wife?"

Finally, Iliia said something.

"It’s no secret that I believe that if Alex didn’t live the kind of life that he does,　these things that happened to him probably wouldn’t have. But I take no pleasure in them."

"You’re not exactly plying him with comfort and understanding though, are you? You should be sick over what’s happened to him." Fox’s　voice got a bit louder.　"And happy and grateful that he’s alive and recovered, and that he had someone to see him through all that. Passing judgment should be the last bloody thing on your mind. But it seems to be all you want to do.　Well... that’s not all you want to do, is it? You want to make sure you send him back to hell by telling him that he killed his mother!" He shook his head as he stared at Iliia. "Which brings me back to the　statement I made when I first walked in here... you’re a goddamn lousy excuse for a father, and if this is the attitude you’re always going to have, I don’t want him anywhere near you again." His voice lowered. "But with all that said, if　you were to have a change of heart, and you　truly wanted to be a part of Alex’s life... he would welcome that... and　for his sake, so would I."

"... For his sake."

"Yes. He’s everything in the world to me, and I want him to　be happy. If that means having you in his life,　then I’m all for it. But　I won’t let you hurt him. Not you, not anybody."

"You’re protective of him,"　Iliia said, his voice betraying no emotion.

"I’m his husband."

"You’re no one. That... wedding was a sham. You stood in front of a handful of people and said a bunch of meaningless words. You bought some flowers, decorated a tent, had dinner... "　Iliia looked at the band that adorned Fox’s left　hand. "You exchanged rings... it　was a whole lot of show that meant nothing at all. If you think it meant anything else, you’re fooling yourself."

"Do you know what means nothing at　all?" Fox asked. "Your opinion. It’s not worth jack. You know nothing about what this ring means. You haven’t a clue about all we went through　before　we finally　put them on." He moved closer, stopping when he and the older man were only inches apart. "I’m his husband. And you’re no one."

Iliia watched the younger man straighten up, turn and walk away. For long minutes after Fox had gone, he remained where he was, staring at nothing. Then he got up and ambled out of the room.

Mulder, you look awful. "What happened?"

"He’s as bad as Alex　said he was," Fox sighed, walking into Scully’s motel room and throwing his keys onto the table. "He’s so wrapped up in　bitterness and anger and being right, that he can’t or won’t see how deeply he’s hurt his son." He rubbed at one eye as he sat down. "I think he’s a lost cause."

"God... poor Alex. Does he know yet?"

"No." Fox leaned over, putting his head between his knees. "I just wanted to stop in here for a　minute. I’m going right to my room and call him."

"It won’t be unexpected, will it?"

Fox got to his　feet, looking very tired.

"No. Not at all."

"Well. Then he can’t he disappointed."

"Yeah," Fox said softly and backed toward the door. "I’ll uh... I’ll call you later. Did you eat anything?"

"Yeah. I didn’t know how long　you were going to be, so I walked over to that little restaurant　on the next block. What about you? You hungry?"

"Not right now. I’ll order something in a little while."

"’Kay. I guess I’ll see you in the morning, unless you want to talk later."

Fox nodded. "Thanks, Scully."

Leaving his partner’s room, he shuffled to the next door and let himself into the room. He flipped on the light and, shedding his jacket, he walked over to the bed and dropped down on it. He heaved a long sigh and reached into his back pocket and pulled his phone out. He　scrolled through his phone book, found home, and hit　the call button.　Two rings later, a soft, weary voice answered.

"Hey, babe."

"Hi."

"You okay? You sound tired."

"Little bit. How’s the investigation?"

"Waiting for the lab work to come back. Should be tomorrow."

"Oh."

"So... I saw your father."

"... Uh huh."

"You weren’t kidding."

"About what?"

"He’s a stubborn, self righteous prick... sorry."

"S’okay. He is."

"I was just hoping that I’d be able to get through to him," Fox sighed.

"Well... you tried, and now you know what a waste of time it is."

"Yeah... you told me, didn’t you?"

"Yep... so... did you at least get to say what you had gone there　to say?"

"Yeah, I did. Not before he tried kicking me out a couple of times.　I just ignored him."

"He must have been royally pissed."

"Yeah, well... I did what I went there to do, and now it’s over."

There was silence on the other end.

"Babe?"

"I’m here."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I... when are you coming home?"

"As soon as I can," came the soft　promise.　"I can see if I can get a flight out tonight."

"No; you’ve got a case."

"Scully can handle it. She won’t mind."

"I know, but..."

"But what? You need me there. I can　hear it in your　voice."

Silence met Fox’s statement.

"I’m going to call the airport, then I’ll call you back, ‘kay?"

"... ‘Kay."

"Love you, babe."

"Love you too."

"Talk to you in a bit."

Fox hung up and immediately phoned the airport. Twenty minutes later, he called Scully and informed her　of his plans.

"Okay,"　Scully said.　"That’s no problem. I don’t　think this case is going to drag on and　on, anyway. You go home and take care of Alex. You want me to drop you off at the airport?"

"No,　the flight leaves too late.　I’ll take a taxi."

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely. Thanks, Scully."

"No problem. I figured he wouldn’t be　in very good shape after　hearing about your meeting with his father."

"Yeah.　He said I should stay and finish the case, but I　don’t think that’s a very good idea at all."

"Yeah, me either.　Why don’t you get some food and relax until you leave?"

"I gotta call him back first."

"Okay, you go do that. Call me in the morning."

"I will. Thanks again, Scully."

Fox hung up and called home. The phone rang twice before Alex picked up.

"Hey."

"Hey, babe.　The earliest I could get a flight out was one-fifteen. So, I’ll be home very early in the morning, okay?"

"... You should have just stayed, Fox. I’d be okay."

"No way. You just sit tight.　I’ll be there in a few hours."

"... Okay."

"Wanna talk till it’s time for me to go?"

"No," Alex said softly. "You take a nap or something... did you eat?"

"No.　I’m going to get something in a little while."

"When did you have lunch."

"Kinda skipped lunch."

"Lisa, go eat. I’m all right, I promise.　Get some dinner, then get some rest."

"Is that　an order?"

"Yes, it is."

Fox smiled into the phone. "Yes, sir." He paused for a moment, listening to Alex breathe, then he spoke softly into the　mouthpiece. "I’ll be home soon."

"I’ll pick　you up."

"No, you won’t. You’ll be asleep."

"... Doubtful."

"Okay, but　you will be in bed at least trying."

Alex threw Fox’s own question back at him.

"Is that an order?"

"Yes, it is."

"... Yes, sir."

"See you in a few hours."

"Bye, lisa."

Fox heard the click signaling Alex’s disconnection, and he folded his phone up. He pushed it into his pants pocket then, after a moment’s thought, withdrew it and punched in a number. He waited three rings, then a man’s voice answered.

"Hello?"

"... Victor? It’s Fox Mulder."

The voice turned smoky sweet. "Well, hello." Victor chuckled softly. "I didn’t think you’d actually remember my number."

"Told you I would."

"Yes, you did. So, what’s up? How’s my cousin?"

"Not well. The meeting with his father took a very unexpected turn. Have you heard about it?"

"No, I haven’t. My family is trying very hard to keep me out of the loop as far as Alex is concerned."

"Surely you understand why."

"Yeah. I know they don’t trust me. Uh... where is he that you’re having a conversation with me about him?"

"He’s home.　I’m actually in Pennsylvania."

"You... you are?"

"On a case."

"Uh huh. Well... are you still working?"

"No, I... I’m actually leaving late tonight to go back home."

"How late?"

"Flight is at one-fifteen."

"Wow. That is late. Is your partner with you?"

"Yes, but she’s staying behind to wrap things up."

"I see. How far are you from us?"

"Twenty minutes or so."

"Hmm. Have you had dinner?"

"No, I’m going to order something in a minute."

"... Would you like to go out and get something with me? We can discuss my cousin, and what I can do to help."

"You. Help... Alex."

"I know, I know. But I told you I’d try, and that’s what I’m doing."

Long hesitation.

"... Fo-oox. You there?"

"Yeah. Uh... yeah. Listen, Victor... call me Mulder, okay?"

"Mulder... why would I do that?"

"Because... most people call me Mulder."

"My cousin doesn’t."

"Alex isn’t most people. He’s my husband."

"Yeah. He is... you wanna go to dinner with me? Talk... I’ll give you a lift to the airport."

Fox paused again then answered.

"... Yeah. Sure. Why not?"

Eight forty.

Alex wandered from the living room to the kitchen, Clyde following close behind. He opened the refrigerator door and peered inside.　Shutting it without taking anything out, he shuffled back into the living room. He turned a lamp on, lighting the otherwise dark room and picked up the TV. listings as he dropped onto the sofa. He flipped through a few pages then tossed the magazine onto the coffee table. No point in watching TV. He couldn’t concentrate on that or anything else.　His mind was a wild jumble of guilt and shame and self loathing... the last time he’d felt like this, he hadn’t thought he’d ever make it back. But he had. He’d come back. Fox had brought him back.

He sat back and closed his eyes, trying to ward off the recent memories of his father’s cruelty and the truth behind it. He tried to drown out the sound of　Iliia’s voice, telling him that he’d murdered his mother. Attempted to blot out the sight of the older man’s face; the iciness in his gaze, but they wouldn’t leave him. Even thoughts of his beloved Fox couldn’t interfere for long, and Alex bent over, resting his head on his knees as he anchored his fingers in his hair.

"Stop it," he whispered to himself.　"Stop."

Fox would be home soon, and then he’d have something to keep his mind off of his latest torment. But for the next few hours he’d have to deal with it on his own.

He lifted his head and looked around the dimly lit room then slid off of the couch and sat on the floor in front of it. Clyde lay down beside him, ever watchful as he quietly stared at nothing.

"I’ll have the sixteen ounce sirloin, baked potato and baby carrots..."

Fox lifted one eyebrow as his dinner companion finished ordering.

"... and to start, a cup of cream of broccoli soup and　the house　salad." Victor smiled at Fox and motioned for him to order.

"I’ll just have the grilled chicken Caesar." Fox folded up his menu and handed it to the server. "Thanks."

"You don’t always eat like that, do you?" Victor asked, grinning at Fox.

"Just don’t have much of an appetite."

"Worried about Alex?"

"Yeah."

"What happened, Fox? Sorry. Mulder."

Fox stared at the other man for several moments. To trust him or not to trust him? He seemed sincere enough, but if Fox was going　to be honest with himself, the man was a Krycek. And if he was anything like his cousin, he　could be　smooth and persuasive and totally believable when he had to be.

"Iliia said some things to Alex. Some... hateful, unforgivable things, and it’s messed him up big time. That’s all I feel comfortable saying."

"All you feel comfortable saying... to me?"

"... Yes."

Victor quickly pursed his lips then smiled at Fox. "You are honest, aren’t you?"

"I try to be."

"How am I supposed to help if I don’t know what I’m helping with?"

"It’s up to Alex to tell you if he wants to. But even if he doesn’t... if you’re sincere about wanting to help, you don’t necessarily need to know the whole story. Your role can simply be to lend support when he needs it. That’s what family does."

Victor sucked his lower lip into his mouth and chewed on it for a moment before nodding.

"Gotcha. So... when do you think it’ll be　a good time to call Alex?"

"I’ll talk to him when I think the time is right."

Victor inhaled deeply then let it out slowly.

"All right. So... tell me... how did it start? Between you and my cousin, I mean."

Fox cocked his head and studied the other man.

"Oh, come on," Victor coaxed.　"It’s not classified information, is it? What attracted you to him? What keeps you attracted to him?"

Fox sighed softly. "So many things. His eyes... his voice... his arrogance..."

"You like that?"

"As a rule, no. But it works on him."

"... What else?"

"He’s smart. Very smart. He’s compassionate, he’s hot tempered, thoughtful... he’s stubborn and sweet..."

"Those things don’t really go together, do they?"

"Alex is as complex a man as you’re ever likely to know."

"Another big draw?"

"Yeah. With him, things are never boring."

"Hmm.　That it?"

Fox smiled softly. "We’d be here all night if I had to name everything that attracted me to him."

"Do you know that he loves you? I mean way deep down. Not just because he tells you... does your heart know it?"

"Yes, it does. Alex loves me more than I ever thought anyone could."

"Why would you say that?"

"I’m no walk in the park," Fox admitted. "Nobody but Alex would put up with me."

"I’m sure that’s not true."

"No, I’m pretty sure that it is." Fox shrugged. "Not that it matters. There’s no one else for me."

"Or him?"

"Or him. This is corny and cliche, I know. But, we were made for each other."

Victor lowered his head and said nothing. Fox watched him for a few seconds then asked if something was wrong. Victor displayed a small smile and looked up at the other man.

"Nothing, I was just... I was thinking that I had someone once. Someone who put up with my crap. It was a lot of crap, but he loved me anyway."

"What happened?"

"It wasn’t quite the give and take that you and my cousin seem to have. I had the taking part down cold, but I didn’t know how to give. One day, he’d finally had enough, and he left."

"I’m sorry," Fox murmured. "... Did you love him?"

"... The most truthful way I can　answer that is, I don’t know."

Fox cocked his head.

"I didn’t want him to go. Felt like shit when he left.　Maybe that meant I loved him.　I treated him badly... and I let him go without a fuss. Maybe I didn’t love him. I don’t know."

"Pride can stop us from doing a lot of things that we should or want to do. It doesn’t mean that you didn’t love him."

"Pride ever make you do stupid things?"

"Sure."

"But you came around."

"Yeah."

"What about Alex?"

"Him too. Sometime it takes him a little longer." Fox gave Victor a hint of a smile. "Pride and stubbornness must be a strong Krycek trait."

"Hmm. Didn’t scare you off, though."

"Alex doesn’t scare me. Worries me sometimes, but he doesn’t scare me."

"Wow. Tough and hot. My cousin is one lucky man."

Fox didn’t respond to the come-on disguised as a compliment. "No luckier than I am," he said and left it at that.

The meal arrived, and the men lingered, involved in what Fox could honestly describe as　an engaging　conversation. When the check came, Victor insisted on taking care of it and keeping Fox company at the airport when they arrived two hours ahead of flight time.

"It’s really late," Fox said as the two took a seat in the nearly empty lounge. "You’ll really don’t have to wait here with me."

"Are you just concerned about the time, or are you trying to subtly give me the old heave ho?"

"I’ve had a pleasant and interesting　evening," Fox said. "I’ve found no reason to try and blow you off. It’s just that it’s getting late, and I don’t want to be the cause for you sleep-walking through work tomorrow."

"I appreciate your concern," Victor smiled. "But I’d like to stay if you don’t mind. It’s been a long time since I’ve had such　a nice　night."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Okay... answer me a question?"

Victor studied the other man. "What d’you want to know?"

"... Give me the truth about why you’re now interested in making up with Alex."

"Can’t a guy change his mind?"

"Sure. But usually not without a reason why."

Victor lowered his eyes and nodded. "Yeah. Well... my whole family is pro-Alex. You know... except for Uncle Iliia. And if I want to get along with them, I’m going to have to try　and give him a fair shake. It’s no fun being left out of family functions."

"And that’s it?"

The other man shrugged. "Seven people can’t be wrong, huh? I want to give it a serious try."

"You’ll have to prove that by Alex... and me."

"Just tell me how."

"You’ll have to figure it out for yourself if it’s going to mean anything."

A long while later, Fox’s flight was called, and he and Victor rose to their feet. Victor stuck out his hand, and Fox took it in a firm handshake.

"Have a safe flight. Hope to hear from you soon."

"Thank you for dinner and the　company. I’ll　be in contact."

Victor watched Fox cross to the boarding area, and　after he’d disappeared from　sight, Victor　walked over to the window, staring at his plane, watching it back　up and taxi to the runway. Not until it was just a group of lights in the night sky, did he turn and walk away.

Alex turned over for the umpteenth time, looking at the clock. Fox should be home any time now, and he was going to walk in and find him red-eyed and awake.

As if Fox　would have expected to find him any other way.

Alex flipped onto his back and stared up at the ceiling.

//It’s your fault for going there, asshole.　You should have left well enough alone. So what if you went the rest of your life without knowing if things could be resolved between you? Now you have to go the rest of your life knowing that you’re at fault for Mom’s death, and　that things will never be resolved between you. You’re a double loser.//

From his station beside the bed, Clyde lifted his head, listening. Alex lay silently, barely breathing as the faint thud of a car door sounded. Seconds later, Clyde was up and out of the room. Alex remained where he was, unmoving, until he heard the front door open, and the excited howls of the dog. He inhaled deeply, letting it out in a stuttering sigh, and he waited. Less than two minutes later, the half open　bedroom door swung to the side, and Fox moved quietly into the room.　He　paused, setting his bag down as he　watched Alex’s motionless form.

"I’m awake."

Fox walked to the bathroom, turning on the light and setting the door ajar so that slim band of light came into the room. He walked over to the bed and sat on the edge, looking down at his husband. Gently, he ran his fingers through Alex’s hair and kissed his forehead.

"Did you sleep at all?"

"... No."

"Figured that was probably a stupid question. Here comes another one. How do you feel?"

The younger man gave a small shrug. "Glad you’re home."

"Me too."

They stared at each other in the spare light, neither man speaking. Finally, Fox rose to his feet and undressed, stripping down to his underwear, then he got into bed beside Alex and pulled his husband into his arms, and for the first time that night, Alex closed his eyes.

Four-thirty a.m.

An hour and a half　until Victor had to get up, and he was still no closer to sleep than he had been when he first went to bed. His mind was filled with thoughts of the few hours he had spent in the company of Fox Mulder.

A fascinating man to say the least. Smart and handsome. Sensitive and intuitive. Intensely loyal.

To Alex.

He reached for his cell phone and flipped it open. Pressing a few buttons, he brought up a picture of Fox. He’d snapped it while the other man was checking in at the airport. He stared at the picture in the pre-dawn light, passing his thumb over the small image of his cousin’s husband.

Loyalty only lasted until something better came along.

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