You know You laos if...
You Know You Must Be Laos if..............
1. You eat sticky rice (kow neaw) ,you must be Lao.
2. You love to eat pba dak, you must be Lao.
3. You go to the temple every month for "Thak Baht", you must be Lao.
4. At special occasions, you tie white yarn or string on other people's wrists for good luck, you must be Lao.
5. If you love to eat Tham somp with pba dak!
6. If you eat peppers with just about everything, you must be Lao.
7. If you eat Jewe at dinner, you must be Lao.
8. If you never kissed your parents.
9. You never hugged your parents.
10. You never seen your parents hug or kiss.
11. You have a plastic rug (saat) in your living room, you must be Lao.
12. If you don't eat dinner on the table.
13. You say "ma ngang?" when someone calls you, you must be Lao.
14. If you have a statue of buhda in your house.
15. You drive a Honda/Toyota.
16. You have custom rims on your Honda/Toyota.
17. You have more than 5 remote controls in your TV room.
18. You like to eat chicken feet.
19. You have a custom stereo in your Honda/Toyota with the custom rims.
20. Your house smells like preserved fish.
21. You have about 12-20 uncles and aunts, you must be Lao.
22. You had a bowl cut before.
23. You'll make ridiculous offers when bargaining. ("I'll give you $5 for that car")
24. You take showers at night.
25. You always hear about how great so-and-so's son or daughter is.
26. You want to go back and visit family back in Laos, you must be Lao.
27. You always talk about how much you miss Lao after you have come back from your visit.
28. You love to eat unripe tamarines and magoes with fish sauce or pba dak, you must be Lao.
29. You eat kow poon noodles, you must be Lao.
30. Your parents rent those movie videos with about 20-30 tapes.
31. You listen to Lao music.
32. You eat under-developed duck eggs.
33. You pronounce anything with an "R" as an "L", like "refrigerator" but you say "Leeflijalata", you must be Lao.
34. You put your hands together when you meet someone you are supposed to respect.
35. You call everyone older than your parents "Bpaa" or "Loong", you must be Lao.
36. If there are 2-3 pairs of flip flops outside your door.
37. If your family eats out of the same bowl or dish at dinner.
38. If you like to eat Preserved meat (somp).
39. If you say "open the light" or "close the light".
40. If you say "she" when you should say "he".
41. Eat rice for breakfast, Lunch or Dinner, you must be Lao.
42. If you fire your gun like crazy on new year's eve.
43. If you have a big jar of MSG in your spice cabinet.
44. Your dad and your uncles eat Blood jello.
45. Your grandmother lives with you and your family.
46. Your parents DON'T want you to move out when you turn 18.
47. Your parents want to live with you when they are old.
48. You love Las Vegas, slot machines, and blackjack.
49. You have to read all your parents' mail written in english, you must be Lao.
50. You have to make phone calls for your parents to english speakers.
51. Your parents attend or are invited to at least 100 weddings or gatherings per year, you must be Lao.
52. Your parents want you to marry Lao.
53. You are considered an "American or wanna be American" by your parents if you rebel in any form, raise your voice, or wish to celebrate Thanksgiving, Easter, or Christmas. (But, notice how Mother's/Father's Day is not included.)
54. If your dad wears pilot raybans and a bomber jacket to all the get-togethers, you must be Lao.
55. If your dad has only 1 suit and wears it to all occasions.
56. If your parents give you an option of college or death after high school, you must be Lao.
57. You or your parents love to play 3 numbers but then coplain that you never have any money for groceries, you must be Lao.
58. Your mother has a short-haired, curly perm.
59. You have a 50 lb. bag of rice in your pantry, you must be Lao.
60. Your parents say, "Don't forget your heritage."
61. Your parents will only answer you if you ask them something in Lao.
62. You see old men wearing a dress shirt with a white shirt inside that has some of design on it that shows through.
63. You've had to eat parts of animals they don't even put in hot dogs.
64. Idiot people try to impress you with pathetic imitation Asian languages, like the ever-so-popular: "ching chong woo bok chi", etc ...
65. At expensive restaurants, you order a delicious glass of water for your beverage and NEVER order dessert.
66. You will most likely be taller than your parents.
67. You get nothing if you do well in school, but crapped on if you don't.
68. You have rocks, sticks, leaves and strange-smelling, unknown substances in your pantry for use as medicine, you must be Lao.
69. If you find yourself throwing water on anyone and everyone around the 13th of April, you are definetly Lao!
70. If your mom has ever dreamed of a number and then won the lottery the next day.
71. You eat food so hot that it burns going in and burns coming out! you MUST be Lao!
72. Your last name is so long that white people don't even TRY to pronounce it, you must be Lao.
73. You pronounce everything backwards like: "Bookphone" instead of "Phonebook".
74. You say "eat water" and "eat food", you must be Lao.
75. You say "I'm so boring today" instead of "I am so bored today."
76. If you like to eat unripe fruit more than the ripe variety, dont' even have to say it.
78. If you are a raised here and can speak Lao but can't read or write it, you must be...
79. If some ignorant person has ever asked you "what are you?" and then, after telling them, they ask, "what is Lao?", you must be Lao!
80. Your grandparent's english capabitlities consist of "Hello," "Goodbye," "I no sa-peak ah englit" and all of the American cuss words.
81. If you keep your feet to yourself because it is a sin.
82. You or a family member has ever seen a ghost (like pee gong goy).
83. You get nervous when you pass by a cemetary late at night.
84. If you still get nervous when you pass by the same cemetary in the middle of the day.
85. If all your brothers, nephews, or cousins born in the U.S. are named stuff like Johnny, Tony, Jimmy, or Tommy.
86. If your nickname means fat, skinny, dark, short, etc., or is the name of some animal: bird, duck, chicken, etc., you must be Lao.
87. If you have faded pictures of Thai movie stars hanging all over your living room.
88. If the week after your grandfather has passed away, all your American friends ask you (or your brother) why you've shaved your head.
89. If your mom plants vegetables everywhere (even in the cracks between the sidewalk and the fence).
90. If you've ever had an old lao man blow on you to heal you or make you better.
91. If you've ever been jealous of an American because they are so white, while at the same time, the American is jealous of you because you are so dark.
92. Your grandma has red teeth from chewing beetle-nut.
93. If you say "kanoy" to your mom and dad, but "goo" and "meung" to your friends, you must be Lao.
94. Your family has a chopping board made from a tree trunk.
95. You have to use a koke for all your cooking.
96. If you suspect that Thongchai MacIntyre "Bird" is gay.
97. If you (or one of your brothers or sisters) were your great uncle/aunt in your past life.
98. If your parents tell you that you can't go out because they had a bad dream.
99. At parties/weddings/gatherings, you will see a group of men playing cards and gambling.
100. If some of your relatives use a single matress as a bed in the living room or bedroom.
101. When you substitute cabbage or any other thing for papaya salad just so you can have 'tum-mark-??' to satisfy your love of tum-mak-huung!
102. When you tell people 'kang-nor-mai' is your main dish... you have to be Lao!
103. If you dried your clothing on the back fences of your home.
104. If you have a chicken coup in your backyard, you must be lao.
105. If your dad makes you step on his back for a massage, you must be lao.
106. If your mom makes her own beef jerky, you must be lao.
107. If your parents prefer to slaughter their own beef or chicken, you must be lao.
108. You Eat labp at any kind of gathering.
109. If your parents only have a concept of marriage, but not dating.
110. If the oldest child of your family name is "Nyai" and/or youngest child name is "Noy", you must be Lao.
111. If you or wear a "Sint" and/or a "Pah Ka Ma" at special occasions, you are definately lao.
112. If you have to call everyone older than you "Ahii" or "Euih" even if they are not your older brother or sister, you have to be lao.
113. If your favorite seasoning to cook with is "Nampba", you must be lao!
114. When you are at someone's house and your mom says "Let's go now" but you really leave 2 hrs later because they end up talking, you must be lao!
115. If you go hunting for deer or sqirrel, you are Lao.
116. If you ever got hit by a fly swater or a shoe(sandals, boots, etc...)
117. If you play ka-tor (Kick volleyball), you are definetly Lao
118. If you had to cross the Mekong river to leave Laos.
119. If you dance to "Lam vong" your Lao alright!
120. If You are interested in anything Lao on the internet.
121. If you listen to "Mall lam" you must be lao
122. If you use peom (kham gawn) to speak to guy or girl
123. Every time you answer someone older you must say "DOY" or "JAAO"
124. If you like to go in the rice fields and get crawdads, you are Lao
125. If you crave fruits that you can only get in Laos, you have to be Lao
126. If your mom calls you Noy or A-noy if front of you friends
127. If your mom goes scouting for "noh mai" in the woods or in other people's backyards, you must be Lao
128. If your mom or dad has ever poisoned themself or somebody else by eating or cooking poisonous mushrooms.
129. If your inlaws constantly beg you for money, you gotta be LAO!
130. If your Mom wears gold jewelery and that is so heavy that she gets neck cramps after.
131. If you wear a Buddha charm on your necklace, you're laos.
132. If your parents mouths start to water after seeing a bird (pidgeon),squirrel, frog, or a very big insect, then you must be lao.
133. You or anyone of your relatives has an deep, dark outline of a flip flop on your foot, you are Lao.
134. If your parents lecture you and continue to lecture you on something that somebody else did, even if you have left the room, you have got to be Lao.
135. If you eat MA MA noodles that comes in 30 packages, you are laos.
136. If you have a bedroom that consists of three other of your siblings on the same bed.
137. If you have any kind of basket or container made out of bamboo, you are Lao.
138. If your favorite cus words are "Si Mae Mung!" you are lao.
139. If you try to get someone who isn't Lao to say bad words and tell them it really means something good, you are Lao.
140. If you refuse to wear anything less than 24K gold.
141. If bean sprout is a must have item in your bowl of pho, you are Lao.
142. If you eat pho with your friends that are not Lao and your bowl is bright red while theirs is a pale brown color, you have to be Lao.
143. If your mom makes you go pick mint leaves in the front or back yard for dinner.
144. If your mom gets mad at you for rolling your sticky rice into a hot dog.
145. If, instead of jumping rope, you jumped over a chain of rubberbands as a kid.
146. When someone dreams about someone, they analyze their age, birthday, address, etc... into "lek" (lotto) and run out and buy it in confidence that their dream was accurate.
147. If your last name has at least 10-15 letters, and end in "vanh", "chanh" or "vong".. you are most definately Lao.
148. If you use "mai jeemp keaw" after dinner.
149. Every time you go kill a cow, you see your dad and the other old guys fight over who gets the dick, nuts, or the ever so popular BEE..you gotta be Lao!
150. If your relatives in Laos constantly beg you for money to buy land, build a house, buy a water buffalo, etc..
151. if you eat water (kin nahm) you are lao.
152. If you are a guy have one long fingernail on your pinky used in various ways, you are Lao.
153. If you are part of one or more of many different Lao Associations in town.
154. If you're over 30, desperate and have to go to Laos to get a wife, you are Lao.
156. If you have 4 or more brothers or sisters and the clothes you are wearing are hand-me-downs.
157. If you know someone who doesn't have a job and is on welfare but still can pay cash for a new 4Runner!
158. If ignorant people call you Refugees.
159. If you are dating a Lao girl and her parents are very traditional, they insist on you giving them at least $2000 to marry their daughter, you are Lao.
160. The fact that you read this long list proves that you are Lao!!
