July 8 2005 12 02 am Well this is gonna be my first journal entry since I was 5 years old. 13 years have passed and I changed a lot. Back then the world was such a great place my parents were the smartest (june 6th 2009 u came back and deleted some stuff... ... better to forget ..). My view of life is just a competition between everyone to see who can live the better life and it all leads to a big bag of nothing. Everyone worships a god or has faith in something but the way I see it nothings gonna happen in the end your just gonna die and that’s it. Its sad that u wont even get to realize that u wasted ur life on nothing. My plan was since I cant end mine now I would just go along with everything that I face and try to make the best of it, but I cant I guess im emotionally weak and I hate it. october
1, 2007 2 years .... i loved her she left me , she was my best friend she left me the school that i wanted left me the job that i wanted left me .... if one more things go wrong ill end up leaving too
12/12/08 good job dumb ass this is the day u failed a math test… summing up since last time I wrote … nothings changed… u started going bald… but a lot of attention from girls lately… gs… as far as ur feelings … ur still empty as fuck but u just don’t erally give a fuck anymore…. Hopefully next time u write in this ull be in a way better position than this… ( I cant stress how empty you feel rightnow)
3/19/09 u didnt fail the math test but u have a huge test today which u might ... u didnt sleep... u smell u havent showered ... ur tired and cracked out ... ps ur hairs falling out... ... at thsi point u can sleep a little better everynight but the aftershocks still hsake u up... ps. everytime you write in thsi little journal ur in an extreme emotional state of stress/anger/fear/anxiety... so thats probably why when u read the last entry you get shocked abuot what it was... ur letting shit get out of contol with school... clean ur act up and shine on ... im so tireed right now... and im not talking about sleep deprivation as much as i am of everything else ...
4/15/09
... u need help... set it on fire and watch it burn
6/6/09
congrats ur almost fully rehabilitated as in ur not a pothead anymore =] ur still a terrible student u still miss her sometimes ... and reading wut i wrote before ive definitely come a long ass way... u know although thigns suck and u do make stupid decision theres a part of u that knows something big is coming ... or that something about me is gonna really make a difference ... but fuck i wish i had a time machine.... (i wanan fast forward)I WILL NEVER EVER BE AS WEAK AS I HAVE BEEN THESE PAST FEW YEARS.
11/2/10 well areg ive read everything so far and i gotta say this is crazy.. are u ever happy? .... is happiness as important as youd thing ? OOOO i like my little midget so much she makes me feel so happy!!! ur tearing in the bathroom at 6 52 am lol its not bad u just got a good overwhelming feeling of what sirbouhi does to yo. you have quit weed once again and this time its for good! (its the first day but i treat it withthe attitude of a pro or a master of the skill as yesterday could have been seen as the last day. i know im meant for soemthing special because i see everything, but does it matter what ido? your goal now is to work on YOU!. plz dont give me a reason to come back tothis site with nothign but good nwes. ill see you either when ur about to jump or when u bring back good news good bye!
DONT FORGT YOUR LIGHTER IDEA ! your smart buddy just do someting!
3/8/11 ur not doing well again.
