A man dies and finds himself in Hell. He becomes very distraught and is near dispair when a demon appears beside him...
DEMON: What's your problem?
MAN: What do you THINK my problem is?! I'm in Hell! This wasn't supposed to happen!
DEMON: Well I think you're worrying for no reason. You're gonna love Hell. We do all sorts of fun things down here.
MAN: Really?
DEMON: Yeah. Did you like to drink when you were alive?
MAN: Yes.
DEMON: Well you're gonna love Mondays! We have all the liquor you can drink. Any kind you can imagine. And you can get as wasted as you want. No one will care. Did you like to smoke?
MAN: Yeah, I smoked some.
DEMON: Well you're gonna love Tuesdays. We have all the cigaretes you could want. You can smoke all you want, as many packs, whatever. You don't have to worry about cancer because you're already dead! Were you a gambler?
MAN [perking up a little]: Yeah.
DEMON: You're gonna love Wednesday! Wednesday we bring out the cards, the crap tables, the slots, you name it. You can gamble all you want and never go broke. Yep, you're gonna love Wednesday. Did you do drugs?
MAN: I sure did.
DEMON: Well, Thursday is your day. We have crack, heroin, dope, anything you can imagine. You can shoot up all you want to and never have to worry about an overdose. After all, You're already dead!
The man is really cheering up now.
DEMON: Are you gay?
MAN: No I'm not gay!
DEMON: Oh, boy, you're gonna hate Fridays...

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