Confucius Say...

  • Man who jump in front of car get tired
  • Man who chase car get exhausted
  • Man who keep feet firmly on ground have much trouble putting pants on
  • Woman who cooks carrots and peas in the same pot is unsanitary
  • Man trapped in pantry have ass in jam
  • Man who drop watch in toilet have crappy time
  • Man who drive like hell is bound to get there soon
  • Man who pull out too fast leave rubber behind
  • Woman laid in tomb may soon become mummy
  • Man who fart in church must sit in own pew
  • Man with hand in pocket not crazy, just feeling nuts
  • Butcher who back into meat grinder get a little behind in orders
  • It take many nails to build a crib, but only one screw to fill it
  • It good to meet girl in park, but better to park meat in girl
  • Before becoming master fisherman, must become master baiter
  • Woman who live in glass house should dress in basement
  • Baseball all wrong. Man with four balls cannot walk
  • Wealthy man give wife grand piano. Wise man give wife upright organ
  • Virginity much like balloon--one prick, all gone
  • Passionate kiss much like spider web--often lead to undoing of fly
  • Man who fly upside down have crack up
  • Crowded elevator smell different to midget
  • Panties not the best thing in the world, but next to it
  • Man who step in it often say it
  • Man who walk through turnstyle sideways is going to Bangkok
  • Never raise hand to angry child--it leave groin exposed
  • Squirrel who runs up woman's leg finds no nuts
  • Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs
  • Hockey player on ice have big stick
  • Man who sleep on bed of nails wake up holy
  • Soldier who goes to bed horny wake up with discharge in hand

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