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gordon's humor

I was dispatched to a local restaurant in town to check on a guy who had a touch to much of the old happy juice.....well, he was downright drunk. I did not want to fight him. He would swing at me and fall down....get up, cuss me, swing at me and fall down...never did have to fight him....finally got him off to the station to sober up and when he did, he filed a complaint agains me for beating him up.....Go figure.......
Would you believe it........My good friend Dale G. , who was on the police force with me left and we sort of lost track of each other for many years....well, my son met this lovely young lady and after awhile they got married.....the father of the bride, yep, you guessed friend Dale. What a surprise!!
There was a truck stop near the south city limits of our town that was always having a lot of night we received a fight call...we knew it might be serious when we pulled into the parking lot and a pool ball came through the front window and hit the patrol car....
I am going to tell on a friend of mine who is currently a chief of police....he was in a foot race with an old boy, out in the suburbs of town....they went around a house and the young patrolman, now a chief, ran straight into a cess pool...seems the people of the house had moved the out house but did not fill it in......his partner would not let him in the car....
glfoster humorinlaw
Hello, my name is Gordon Foster. I am a graduate of the FBI Academy (100th) and am presently working in corrections for the State of ArkansasDepartment of Corrections. I spent several years in police work and in so doing had some funny things happen to me, my fellow workers and to friends on other police forces. To my knowledge every story is TRUE. Sometimes the name is left out because some guys would be embarrassed.

There was a deputy sheriff in Lane County Oregon, oh so many years ago, that had a Doberman that went everywhere with this Doberman was a tad bit different than most police dogs....he did not track....did not sniff out drugs....did not bark a lot....but.....when Lee would put a prisoner in the back seat with the Doberman, he would say "watch him" and close the door.....the dog would just slide over beside the prisoner till his body was almost touching him, turn his head where his nose was about 2 inches from the prisoners cheek and then just set there..... Lee was a good friend of my brother and my brother said Lee never had an argument from a prisoner he transported. He did have a lot of nervous prisoners when he got to the Sheriff's Office.
Why not send mesome of your stories?

There was the time when someone tied the steering wheel of a car to the door handle,taped the gas pedal down and turned the car loose in a field so it was running in circles. I was told by officers who arrived later that the officer who was sent was running around the circle on the outside, trying to stop the car (you gotta know Mike)
The Chief put out the order to stop leaving the keys in the police cars. Well Mike could not remember so Richard drove Mike's car around and parked it on the other side of City Hall....Mike reported it stolen and was all shook up. Well, you can imagine how mad he was when he found out!!!!

Yep, you just gotta know Mike....he asked a motorist he had stopped to loan him a pen...the motorist did and Mike wrote him a ticket!!
Remember Jim playing quick draw while dispatching and shot a hole in the radio console. Johnny shooting a hole in the roof of his patrol car. Jan reminded me about Jim who fell asleep while dispatching...the guys rolled him into the other room!!!!
Can you picture this.....a call from one of the local banks wanting the police to "rescue them from a woman running up and down the teller's counter.....I think when Dennis went, he had a problem......he got her when all was said and done.....

One night I was dispatched to the north part of town to check a report of a man in a ditch...when I saw him I knew a major fight was on if I tried to arrest him by myself (he was pretty drunk).soooooo I opened the back door, said "hey did you call a taxi" his response , "damn right I did" ...he crawled in the back seat, I slammed the door.... arrest made, no fight, but man did I get a cussin all the way back to the station!!!

EMBARRASSMENT!!! Dispatch I need the color and license number of that white mustang convertible you put out a little bit ago. (Name left out on purpose!!!!!
Bad bet....believe it or not, I was cruising down the highway that ran through town and as I pulled up behind a pickup with two guys in it, one of them tossed a beer can hit the hood of my car. Of course the blue lights came on, both men's heads jerked around and you could almost hear the words in that pickup....the look on their faces was total shock. That case of bad timing was pretty expensive on those two guys before it was all over.

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