Please bear with me as I research and set up this page. I hope that the wait is worth it and that you will eventually all sleep easier in your beds in the sure knowledge that the doomsday clock is ticking away and that the end of the world is only a short(ish) time away.
I say short(ish) because there are actually several clocks, all ticking away, all predicting the end of the world and all sharing one thing in common - the fact that none of them has anything in common.
Yes, they are all different and believed in by different people and I aim to have as many of them as possible right here on this page.
Not forgetting, of course, the ones that were predicted and didn't come to pass, but maybe Jesus (or whoever) is running a little late and got caught in traffic on his way to the Mount of Olives. So I have included a few which are now running into minus figures, just so you can see how late your particular choice of messiah is. Enjoy!
Yes, this was the daddy of them all that had the entire world quaking at the knees. Planes were going to fall out of the sky, electricity supplies would cease, nuclear power stations would explode, life support machines in hospitals would stop and traffic lights would fail (always assuming that the non-y2k compliment cumputerised management system of your car would allow you to start it) bringing complete chaos to the roads, bank cash machines would refuse to pay out and the world economy would collapse. People prayed, stockpiled food and hid under their beds, while rabid American Christian fundamentalists headed for the forests and the hills to avoid the coming apocalypse and to be ready for the coming of the Lord to take back his own.
As I write the code for this page I note that Jesus is a little overdue. In fact more than a little overdue. By the time you read this he will be even later, but right now he is late to the tune of nearly two years.
Pssssssst, fundies, he isn't coming!
Will it or wont it? One day I read that an asteroid was headed towards the earth, but the next I read that it was going to miss us by a comfortable margin. Anyway, the possible impact date is September 21st, 2030, so keep your diary free that day, just in case.
All we can be sure of is that fundamentalists everywhere will be hoping for a direct hit as a sign of the unconditional love that the creator has for us all.
Keep watching the sky!
Just in case Jesus doesn't come back to earth during your lifetime, you can always be sure that one person is going to come looking for you eventually. Yes, if Jesus doesn't want you for a sunbeam, the Grim Reaper will certainly want you for worm food. Click here to go to the original Death Clock. Tap in your age and sex and you will be told when you are likely to die. Now isn't that useful?
© Religious Truth 2001