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Comb-over causes delay for teacher

TOKYO, Japan (GTA) -- English teacher Christopher Hansen was delayed by 25 minutes after being distracted by what was described as, "a monstrous, beehive-like mud ball, masquerading as giant, full head of hair."

Hansen, who has proved himself to be most a punctual fellow in the past, was unable to make it in time for his 1:00 PM private lesson with Sachiko Chikotsu.

The incident occurred near the JR Ebisu station, near the Ebisu Garden area.

"I saw what appeared to be a muddy clump of spaghetti combed over from the back of the man's head all the way to the front. I was about 15 or 20 meters away, so I tried to follow and get a closer look," Chris explained.

"Poor bloke. It was just the most bizarre thing I've ever seen. I finally caught up and was close enough to inspect this...this...thing pulled over on top of his head. It could have been a hair piece, but it seemed to be more of a sticky, stringy, substance than hair."

The school's manager, Hiroko Shitsuke, has said that being distracted by a giant combo-over is no excuse.

Disciplinary action is expected.

Comb-overs, or "Barcode Hair" as they are popularly called in Japan, are a serious problem, largely ignored by society.

Barcode Hair is generally categorized in the following groups, defined mainly by the amount of distance required to fool others.

Perfect Barcode Hair: 1-2 meters

Most experts agree that a Barcode distance rating of 1-2 meters is considered to be near-perfect barcode hair. Hair is normally maintained with such precision that they can even fool people they meet face-to-face or fellow commuters on the train. Only swimming, typhoons, or aggressive sexual activity can reveal their secret.

Very Good Barcode Hair: 2-10 meters

Can usually fool people as long as they are standing a few meters back. Also, tends to work well in low-lit situations such as an Izakaya or movie theatre.

Average Barcode Hair: 10-50 meters

Average Barcode Hair will generally not fool anyone unless they are more than ten meters away or have poor eye-sight. However, the level of skill needed to maintain a rapidly thinning head is definitely worthy of admiration.

Shoddy Barcode Hair: 50-100 meters

Shoddy Bar Code hair will not fool anyone who does not have severe vision impairment. Often, Poor Bar Code hair features an extremely long strand from the neck area, pulled over to the very font. This high-risk maneuver is easily susceptible to any slight wind or rain. Far from providing cover for a receding hairline, poor bar code hair actually accentuates the problem by drawing people's attention to the problem area. Often the target of scorn and ridicule.

Appallingly Gruesome, Yet Somehow Strangely Awe-Inspiring Barcode Hair

Not an easy level to achieve. First of all, in order to reach this stage, a person must have completely abandoned all sense of reason. They must be obsessed by an intense biological urge to remain hair-covered. The results can be astounding. What may look like a pasty, hornets nest with 3-week-old hair from the barber shop glued on with rubber cement, is nothing short than the essence of their very psychological survival. A major difference from Shoddy Barcode Hair is that it does not necessarily invite feelings of pity or contempt. Rather, it inspires awe and admiration for the sheer volume, the audacity, the complete disregard for any rational sort of thinking.

For more information about barcode hair, click on the following site:
Combover.com


For more information about women's bodybuilding click on the following site:
Female-bodybuilders.org

The Gaba Teachers Association: Serving teachers at Gaba Japan, Nova Japan, Geos Japan, Aeon Japan, ECC Japan, and Berlitz Japan since 2005. The Gaba Teachers Association is dedicated to reporting the latest news from the English school industry. This is a site for that covers all news that impacts those who teach English in Japan. If you are teaching English at NOVA, GEOS, Berlitz, ECC or any other Eikaiwa school, check us out.
The GABA TEACHERS ASSOCIATION is the most provoc-ative name in eikaiwa news today. Since 1994, the Gaba Teachers Association has been dedicated to reporting the latest news from the English school industry in Japan.