Whoa, whoa, whoa! Inspiration overload! Aaaaaaaaahhhhh!

Setting: Songfic, Duo’s POV

Pairings: Wufei x Duo, Trowa + Quatre, Zechs + Heero

Rating: I’d say R (just to be safe)

Warnings: … uh… let’s see, warnings, warnings… sap maybe, but I don’t see why that’s a bad thing

Song: Open All Night by Bon Jovi

Disclaimers: Don’t own, don’t ask, don’t sue

Open All Night

When people say it’s ‘one of those days’, everybody automatically thinks it’s bad. Well sometimes it is, but sometimes, it’s just one of *those* days. You know, those days that come along and really make you think. I don’t mean about what you’re going to do, I mean about what you’ve done on other days. Things you regret, things you wish you hadn’t lost your nerve over, or even things that actually turned out okay. Even better than okay, in some cases. Pretty much like this case for example.

Today is one of those days.

//I saw you comin’ from a mile away//

I look at him lying next to me and I think way more than I usually do. I don’t like thinking deeply like he does. I prefer to push the thoughts away to that little space in my mind where they can’t hurt me, or if they do, I can at least smile through it. I can’t philosophize like he does. If I did, I’d probably never stop crying. Oh believe me, I can be deep if I want, but the outcome is *never* pretty.

I think about death, which is never the worst of my thoughts because I’m constantly surrounded by it and causing it. I think about what’s gonna happen when this war ends and we all go our separate ways, life without the other Gundams is just something I can’t imagine (whether I just don’t want to, I’m not so sure). I think about… what it would be like if I lost him. Now that’s when I start to get depressed.

//Tryin’ to hide behind that pretty face//

He looks so peaceful now. He’s never like that when he’s awake. But that’s just because I know that he’s not peaceful on the inside, never has been, poor guy. All these years he’s struggled with himself and I still think he’s got quite a way to go before he’ll be close to real happiness.

I mean, everything he’s been through in his life is enough to give anyone’s psyche a run for its money. My life too. Growing up as a street kid on L2 is something I want to put out of my mind but just can’t. So when I think, I usually think about the future instead of dwelling on the past. You know, looking to things I can change instead of living with the memories of the things I can’t.

//Bet my last dollar, baby you’ve been bruised//

It isn’t easy though. Ha! Understatement of the century! But I keep going. We’re Gundam pilots, it’s what we’re designed to do.

The things I survived through on the streets are things I would rather forget. Unfortunately, I frequently have to look to things from my past in order to remember a whole lot of important stuff. Trowa knows how that feels too. I know he appreciates how hard life can be. We all do. Even Quatre does. I know you look at him and think, heir to the Winner estate, he’s got everything he’ll ever need, so what does he have to be miserable about?

But, hey, money isn’t everything. His family practically threw him out when he told them about his love for Trowa. Intolerant bastards. Just like a lot of people in the colonies and a lot of the people in both mine and Wufei’s lives.

//Poor little heart, all black and blue//

We’ve both been through absolute hell at some point in our lives and I think that keeps us very close in many ways. Most of that hell was caused by trying to figure ourselves out. I did most of that when I was younger, about 13 or 14 I guess, so I had my mind settled quite nicely before I was sent to Earth. Wufei had no such support. I would imagine that being forced to marry at fourteen years old didn’t help his progress too much.

He told me that I helped him and, not bragging, but I think I honestly did. It took ages to force him to face up to his own sexuality. He thinks with the kind of single-mindedness that only martial artists know, so when he thinks about something he has to give it his whole attention or nothing at all. Me? I just let the thoughts fly around in my brain and pick out the ones I need.

//Last thing you need’s another pickup line//

I had to gently get to him stop and think about himself, which, if you ever meet Wufei you’ll know, is a very hard thing to do. Like most of us, he’s stubborn. Especially like one Perfect Soldier who shall remain nameless (considerate, aren’t I?). And that stubbornness is, well, stubborn. Very annoying when you’re trying to get him to psychologically study himself.

We ended up getting into a blazing row. It started with his claims that I was just trying to torment him “You don’t care about me, so stop pretending that’s why you’re nagging me,” he yelled at me after I’d said he needed someone to talk to. Needless to say, it hurt. I felt the stab at my stomach and tried to suppress the anger I was feeling.

//You must’ve heard ‘em all a thousand times//

But I did care. And damn it if I wasn’t going to tell him. “I do care!” I yelled angrily, fuming at the fact that he thought I was treating him like a charity case, “You’re suffering and I just want to stop it!” Sounds reasonable right?

Wrong!

He came back at me with the fact that I’d never seemed to care before, so why the sudden interest? We’d never really got along as friends too well and I could see his point but… I don’t know. I couldn’t just stand by and watch him endure the emotional torture he was going through. I hate seeing anybody like that, not least someone I was doing my best not to fall in love with.

//God only knows what you’ve been through//

But he was already so close to me it made me ache. I needed to see him happy. Just one smile. Was that too much to ask? I knew what it was like to hurt. I also knew what it was like to hurt and not have anybody give a shit.

//Believe me I’ve been broken too//

We screamed at each other for another ten minutes solid until he said, or rather yelled, something that caught me off-guard to say the very least. “uh… what?” was all I could mumble about a minute afterwards.

He stood perfectly and let the awkward silence hang in the air for a while. “I… look, Duo I’ve just been feeling… you’re right, there’s a lot I need to work through right now and I just thought-”

I cut him off and repeated his last statement, “You like me as more than a friend?” my heart thudded deafeningly in my chest as I spoke, “Do you… uh…” I continued to mumble and finally managed to get out that I liked him too. He turned to me and we locked gazes. I saw his soul through his eyes and saw that, yeah, he really meant it.

//It aches, it breaks, it takes your breath away//

I forgot to breathe.

//I’ve been around that block a time or two//

He went to speak again but stopped abruptly as an extremely messed up looking Heero Yuy walked in through the front door. We both stared guiltily at him as if we’d been caught doing something we shouldn’t. Strangely enough, we got the same look back from him. As if *he* had been caught doing something he shouldn’t. We all frowned confusedly at the looks we got from each other and then simultaneously walked off to three different rooms of the safe house.

I went straight up to my room and I heard Wufei go into the kitchen to get some lunch. Then I heard Trowa and Quatre walk in through the front door and just forced myself to accept the fact that Wufei and I were never gonna get any peace while we were still in this house. Then my cell phone rang. That was weird. I looked at the number that came up on the screen.

The safe house? I picked up the phone hesitantly.

//I don’t wanna fall in love with you//

“Hi Duo, it’s me.”

My heart stopped as I heard Wufei’s voice. “Where are you?” I asked with a smile on my face. Apparently he’d grabbed the cordless phone and was now in the back yard. He said that we wouldn’t be able to talk privately inside so we needed to go somewhere else. Unfortunately, we were confined to the safe house when we weren’t on missions or getting food and medical supplies.

“There’s always the yard,” I said nervously. Wufei cleared his throat uneasily at the other end before agreeing. We’d meet at eleven, after Heero, Trowa and Quatre were all asleep, by the trees at the end of the garden.

//I try, try, try but I can’t get around the truth//

I had never been so tense in my life.

//Please don’t say my name, give this heart a break//

We met up nervously by the row of pine trees that night, still a little unsure of our feelings towards each other and very wary over how the guys would react if they knew about our relationship. But, as usual, one look into my eyes was enough to put my mind at rest for a little while.

Everything is still so vivid in my mind, the way he took me into his arms and held me to his chest, despite the fact that he was just as unsure and inexperienced as I was. I guess it was the fact that he’s a few months than me, his instinct just took over. I smiled and slipped my arms around his waist and our gazes locked again. Our faces met for one brief, fleeting moment before he pressed his lips gently to mine.

//I don’t wanna make the same mistake//

The feeling was incredible.

//But it’s too late, I’ll leave on the light//

My whole world melted away to the hidden passion that lay beneath his timid touch. The universe had vanished and it was just the two of us. There was no tongue or lust, just love.

I couldn’t care less about missions or OZ, hell, even the other pilots - my closest friends - became barely more than a whisper in my head in the face of that embrace. All I could see was him, all I could feel, hear or in any way sense was that perfect kiss as the sound of crickets and owls and the prickle of the cold air faded into the emptiness of the summer night.

//These arms are open all night//

I was lost to him the second I felt his breath on my face and closed my eyes. He made me forget: I wasn’t a street kid or a Gundam Pilot, I was just in love. He made me feel special: he wasn’t afraid of me, he wouldn’t call me violent and dangerous and he could see the guy on the inside. The one who’d been hurt just like he had and the one that needed to feel love.

He could give that to me and, on some subconscious level, I think he knew that. And he knew I could give him the same.

//I got your taste in the back of my mouth//

Our lips broke tenderly possibly more than ten minutes later, I don’t know, I completely lost track of time. Wufei smiled at me and I smiled back. It was the first time I’d ever seen a genuine look of happiness on his face, to think that I had caused that… it took me straight to cloud nine.

We stood in silence for a little before Wufei took his coat off and spread it over the floor for us to sit on. He sat down and offered me his hand, still smiling for me. I suddenly felt very shy. Me. A trained terrorist and internationally feared Gundam Pilot was shy. My world was already upside down so what did it matter for one more alien emotion?

//I wanna reach in and pull it out//

He sat me in between his legs and leant me back against his chest with his arms wrapped around me. We still hadn’t said a word to each other since we’d parted lips. I kissed and nuzzled his arms and prompted some speech from him.

“How do you feel?” he asked gently stroking my face as he I turned to look him in the eyes. This was definitely not the Wufei I knew. Not the menacing, justice-obsessed Altron pilot. No. This was someone different to who I was used to. I guess it was the guy on the inside that I tried to ignore.

But he kept showing himself through Wufei’s guise at certain intimate intervals and I couldn’t ignore him anymore. Those passing moments when something would come up in conversation to make him feel very deep. Meiran for one. His wife was never someone he was head over heels in love with, but certainly the only woman I’ve ever heard him talk about with dignity and respect in his voice.

//And I’d be lying if I didn’t say//

That must be some special person.

//When you’re this close I’m afraid//

Could I ever hope to live up to that? I don’t talk about Meiran much, neither does he. It’s one of those off-limits topics like the subject of Trowa’s parents or Quatre’s space-heart or Heero’s emotions. But I can tell that she must have been someone really and truly incredible.

I often wonder if he’ll ever look at me like that. Maybe he does, I’m still in the learning process of reading the thoughts behind those eyes. I’ve learnt to read Quatre quite well, but he doesn’t really hide his emotions from me too much. I can even read Heero a little. When he gets angry or scared, there’s a small flicker as his eyes falter.

But Wufei? We’ve been together for almost six months now and it’s not getting any easier, believe me.

//The way I’ll feel if I touch your hair//

And it was no picnic trying to understand him back then. But, since he’d asked me how I was feeling, I figured I might be able to get him to talk.

“I… uh…” I started to mumble disjointedly, “Great. A little nervous, but great.” Wufei held me closer to him and we lay down on the grass underneath the willow tree.

I looked at the way he had his arms around me and it suddenly dawned on me just what the hell I was doing, “I don’t understand,” I said in earnest. Wufei frowned. “I always thought you didn’t like me.”

//The way I’ll miss you when your not there//

He looked at me and bit his lip, “I’d be lying if I said it was love at first sight,” he sighed awkwardly, “but you’re the only person that’s really cared about me in a long time… I’ve just been so… frustrated with myself. You were the only who seemed to notice.”

I smiled and replied that we’d all noticed but I was the only one who was brave enough to step up and try to help him. We talked for hours, well into the early hours of the morning before we fell asleep outside, wrapped up in each other’s arms.

//And that I’ll see you when I close my eyes//

It was the first night in years that I hadn’t had nightmares.

//It’s too late, I’ve crossed that line//

I woke up the next morning as he kissed me sweetly. I grinned and looked up at his contented face through tired eyes, “Hey Wufei,” I yawned, “sleep well?”

“Never better,” he laughed softly and ruffled my hair, giving into the obvious urge to kiss me again, “Breakfast?” I nodded and he pulled me up from the floor, offering his hand in the same gentlemanly way he did the night before. He gathered me into his embrace one last time before we were going to go back to the safe house, knowing that we wouldn’t be able to afford intimacy like that in front of the other pilots.

//It aches, it breaks, it takes your breath away//

Apparently the universe had other plans. As we turned to go back in, still linking arms affectionately, we came face to face with Quatre and Trowa.

//I’ve been around that block a time or two//

We were so stunned, it was a few seconds before it actually occurred to us to pull away from each other. I rubbed the back of my neck and smiled nervously as Wufei stiffened again and then quirked an eyebrow as we realized the other two pilots were still stood hand in hand and very obviously past the friendship point.

Quatre stared back and then blushed intensely, moving away from Trowa very quickly. Trowa, on the other hand, pretty much did what Wufei did and folded his arms, staring deliberately at us. “You slept out here all night?” Trowa said with a smirk.

“What can I say? I’m used to sleeping outdoors,” I laughed and attempted to shrug off the awkwardness that all four of us were feeling. Quatre, whose cheeks were still bright red, giggled a little - that is just so uniquely him.

The rest of the conversation was something along the lines of “I won’t tell if you won’t”. Then Trowa and Wufei disappeared silently inside the house and I settled on staying outside with Quatre.

//I don’t wanna fall in love with you//

Once our lovers had gone I sighed with relief and slumped back against the trunk of the willow tree, which had actually grown enough to give a kind of curtaining effect around us. Quatre smiled and sat down beside me. For a while he surprised me by not saying a word and just listening to the birds singing, basking in the glow of the early morning sun. He looked positively angelic.

“So, Quat,” I began, staying cheerful as always, “How long’s this been goin’ on?”

Quatre’s smile widened and he bit his lip. “Since we met,” he replied cutely. I gaped. “How about you guys?”

“As of now?” I said, putting on a sarcastically thoughtful look as I glanced at my wristwatch, “I’d guess at around… ten hours and forty-five minutes. So you can see how difficult this long charade’s been,” I joked and leant back against the tree.

//I try, try, try but I can’t get around the truth//

Then we started talking about them. It was unbelievable, the kind of relationship that the two of them had was just not what I expected - having said that, I *had* only had about ten minutes to prejudge it - one of the biggest surprises being that sweet little innocent Quatre wasn’t a virgin.

“Why are you so surprised?” he asked. I honestly didn’t know. I mean they’d been together for eight months, perfectly normal relationship. I wasn’t about to say a thing about the fact that they were both underage because… well that’s more like something Wufei would say.

//Please don’t say my name, give this heart a break//

That’s right about when it hit me.

//I don’t wanna make the same mistake//

Wufei was my boyfriend. He’d kissed me. We’d fallen asleep together.

The night before, I’d just acted on impulse and hadn’t really thought about what I was doing. But it was obvious that Quatre had thought a lot about what he was doing with Trowa. Was I supposed to have thought about it? I’d certainly have to start thinking in any case. I didn’t want to rush into anything.

To be totally honest, the kind of things I was cautious of running into scared me. There’s another emotion I’m not too used to: fear. I could tell right there and then that our relationship was not going to be all sweetness and light. I’d already felt two distinctly weird emotions and I could tell I was gonna go through a hell of a lot more.

//But it’s too late, I’ll leave on the light//

Lust.

Shit! That one scared me more than anything. I was perfectly well aware that it was a normal part in relationships but… well let’s just say that having been raised by a catholic church didn’t leave me feeling great about wanting someone like that. “Sins of the flesh” and all that crap. It had taken me only God knows how long to stop freaking out at the idea of liking boys and that wasn’t helping me either.

With every new emotion that came along, it was always Quatre that helped me work through them. It was kinda weird that the supposedly naïve Quatre was more experienced than I was but I was never one to look a gift horse in the mouth.

//These arms are open all night//

He at least made me realize that there was nothing bad about wanting to express love physically. Like kissing. That’s just a really, really tame form of lust.

Of course, with Trowa and Quatre knowing about the two of us, it made it a lot easier to spend time alone together. Like at night. The amount of nights I’ve laid there and let him kiss me to sleep is uncountable. I kiss him back when I can but, somehow, I always fall into a submissive position. But that’s how I like it, we’ve both fallen into place together and it’s just so natural for us.

//It’s 2 am, it’s last call baby//

Man am I glad we didn’t rush!

Our first time together was so amazingly perfect that I doubted heaven still had all it’s angels. It was a brilliantly intimate side of him I’ve never seen before. I still think he was lying when he said he was a virgin too. He knew exactly how to touch me. One little brush of his fingers had me groaning and begging him for more. When I mirrored Wufei’s touches on his body, I got the exact same reaction.

//Barkeep’s gone, I’ll walk you home now//

I heard him scream my name and knew I couldn’t live without him.

//It aches, it breaks, it takes your breath away//

I’d given up a long time ago on trying to stop myself from loving him and I just let loose. Our bodies moved together in pure passion. I didn’t care who heard me, the ecstasy of his caress was just so intense but so timid at the same time. He touched me so gently, it made me feel as if I was made of glass.

Every time I shouted, he jumped and suddenly worried that he was hurting me. Of course, the second he saw my face he knew he needn’t have been so apprehensive. He did everything right.

//I’ve been around that block a time or two//

I felt my heart race and elation grasped me as he moaned and began to shout just like I was doing. I wrapped my arms around him so tightly it was like he was my only lifeline to reality. When we finally let go of our doubts, it was like another world. A world where nothing mattered except us, where we could shut out the universe and all that hatred, all the pain, all the suffering.

For that night, all I cared about was him. It was almost as if the war had stopped just to let us love each other for a little while.

//I don’t wanna fall in love with you//

Since that night I haven’t been able to go one day without seeing him. There was that one week about a month back when I was sent out on a mission for six days straight. Being separated from him that long almost killed me. I remember getting home that night to find he’d stayed up well past his self-inflicted 10:30 curfew to see me.

Heero was sat by him on the sofa but I barely even saw him (anyone that knows him will understand that that’s *real* hard to do). Wufei got to his feet and instantly grabbed my hands and pulled me forwards. We kissed just like our very first kiss. Pure and innocent.

//I try, try, try but I can’t get around the truth//

After the kind of life I’ve lead, he’s the only person in the human race that can make me feel like that.

//Please don’t say my name, give this heart a break//

Now, of course, everybody knows about us. Heero, Trowa, Quatre, Hilde, Relena… the list is endless. I guess Heero felt he owed us for being so trusting and he actually told me that he and Zechs were, to put it in his words “In a relationship that can best be described as iniquitous to say the very least.”

I think that was the first time I ever felt sorry for the guy. The Perfect Soldier had a fragile heart, just like the rest of us. Needless to say, he never showed it… again, pretty much just like the rest of us.

//I don’t wanna make the same mistake//

Even more surprising was Zechs.

That *that* guy could feel human emotions. Heero seemed almost miserable about being with him. That didn’t seem right. After seeing the likes of me and Wufei and Trowa and Quatre, I guess I took our love for granted. I thought too little of the fact that our love for each other wasn’t as complicated as that.

//But it’s too late, I’ll leave on the light//

But that was the last time I ever, ever didn’t appreciate anything between. Wufei means so much to me that, if I could stomach believing in a god, I would thank him every minute of every day for what we have. I only hope that Heero can have that someday.

When you get past the glares and the death threats, he’s one of the nicest guys you’ll ever meet and he deserves to have happiness in his life. Maybe things will work out with Zechs, but with the way they’re frequently trying to kill each other, I don’t think it’s gonna happen - a little bit beyond what you’d call a love/hate relationship, huh?

//These arms are open all night//

He’s waking up now. I wonder if Trowa and Quatre realize how special what they have is? They should do. Especially since I can now take one look at this guy and see my future in his eyes.

“Morning, love,” he says and turns to me to place another perfect kiss on my lips, “you hungry?”

I smile and take his hand, “I love you,” is all I can say right now. When I see the look on his face it makes my heart skip a beat.

“I love you too,” he replies and picks our bathrobes up off of the floor. “Come on,” he says, wrapping mine around my shoulders and taking me by the hands, “It’s Trowa’s turn to make breakfast.”

I grin and get up to follow him downstairs. I could be eating gravel for all I care, so long as I’ve got him here with me.

//All night//

~fin~

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