That dumbass Ishan begged me for an update, and also some other shit, like how to make my dancing Hitler. Obviously, he doesn't recognize that I don't like him. Oh well. Look at his convo in the aim logs. This one's mint.

August 17th, 2003
A rather pointless update...

I wrote this update for the express purpose of notifying my readers of one thing: I AM NOT MADDOX. Maddox is a hysterical writer. Apparently I am too. You guys seem to think I sound like him though... well I never stole any ideas off of him. Until a day or two ago, I never even went to his damn website! But it is a good website, and if you get bored with this one, I urge you to go to his.

You can find it at http://maddox.xmission.com/ Go look. It's better than my site, I think. More years in the making.

August 14th, 2003
The Irony of the Lisp

When I was born, something in my genes made it so I had a speech impetiment. It sucked. I had a lisp. When I was in 7th grade, and frankly, I didn't care that I sounded a little flaming, I was approached by a school speech therapist, who offered to help me get rid of my lisp. So I accepted.

To get rid of my lisp, I had to strengthen my tongue. How would I go about doing this? Well, I had to suck pudding through a straw. Actually, a coffee stirrer. It was spectacular. At first I thought the whole point of getting rid of a lisp was to make me seem more heterosexual. But now I really know it was just a ploy to make me better at sucking things. A little ironic, no?

By the way. Aim log is in. Have fun with it.

August 11th, 2003. Approaching 2 AM
Audience Feedback

I love people telling me what they think about the site. All the time I get people telling me: "You're funny as all hell man!" "Better than Albinoblacksheep.com!" (editors note: Then why don't -I- have several million hits?!) "You're fucking sick!" It's reassuring to know that people are actually reading, and not hitting refresh to get my hits up. Though if you want to do that, it'd be fine by me, a great self esteem booster. Here's what people on DBZW:R said about the porn log.

(RACETALK): Rheanos: 'if you don't throw up on the keyboard or dry heave I'll give you 100k gold'
(RACETALK) Greg: '....ok, I'm sickened now. Thanks y'all.'
(RACETALK) Oaftres: 'And like.. a guy.. getting.. a womanlyproduct up his not-the-right-hole.. I nearly puked twice in 2 minutes'
(RACETALK) Vaperial: 'his head looked split in half'
(RACETALK) Oaftres: 'I'm crying..'
(RACETALK) Vaperial: 'i can't even fit the lead of a pencil in my damn peehole..' (Editors Note: ...you tried?!)
(RACETALK) Greg: 'I seriously feel like I've been violated.'
(RACETALK) Oaftres: 'YOU feel like your violated?' (RACETALK) Oaftres: 'Did YOU see a man getting it up his wang?' (RACETALK) Oaftres: 'Did YOU see the japanese lady with..' (RACETALK) Oaftres: 'tub.. and.. bad?' (RACETALK) Oaftres: 'I need comforting' (RACETALK) Oaftres: 'Heterosexual comforting'

So there you have it! My first rave review! Went pretty well, eh? Thanks to Rheanos for sending it in. (Editors note: I'm on a roll with these notes. By the way, you still haven't given me any art yet. So you can't love me as much as you say. :( I want hentai from one of you anime pervs.)

A day after the last update.
Conscience

I had a struggle with my conscience after I made this last log. I found myself wondering why I abuse people so much. Why am I so sarcastic? It always seems like a good thing at the time. I struggled over it, real bad. I know I'm a bastard. This shouldn't be happening. But people love it, so how can I stop? So I keep on pumping these out, against my own better judgement. And who gives a damn? These people are really good, don't give them shit, give me shit for putting them in these situations. I'm the bad guy, I'm the ass, hate me!

I made a new log. It's in the logs section. I don't feel like making a link here. Look to your left, it's right there.

The 7th. And if you don't know what month this is, you should die.
I'm poor.

August 6, After Going to Sleep for Several Hours
Phil bitches, I put out.

Phil wanted me to make a message board for this site, and I told him to fuck off. But then, later on, I realized that this could be cool, but it would probably still suck, like everything else on the website. But I decided, hey, why the hell not, it can't hurt that much. So I did it. But no, Phil, I won't touch you there.

August 6, 2003
You don't love me.

I went to this other website today. It was nice. It had a lot of artsy drawing things about Cowboy Bebop. I liked it. And then there was this section where the girl displayed all the gift art people gave to her. Like congratulations for getting 5,000 hits. And I'm thinking... "Hey, I just got 5,000 hits. No one is giving me art. Fuck them! I should just close my website."

But I love you, as long as you don't touch me in inappropriate places without giving fair warning first. So I won't shut down. But still... you bastards! How much work does it take to make a goddamn picture for me? Or like... a poem. I don't know, SOMEONE out there has to be artistic. Or autistic. If you're autistic too, just tell me! That will pass off for a reward... I guess. One autistic person for each milestone hit mark is cool.

I uploaded some logs of various sheit. I have more on a friend's computer, but I haven't been able to get on at his house for a while. So all you get is this. Besides, I'm trying to lure as many autistic people here as I can.

Or artistic.

August 5, 2003
What happened?

Where'd the days go? It's been a month since my last update. Admittedly, there's been a lot of stuff going on, but I also lost my password for the shell, which was pretty bad. I went to California, where I felt like a minority. I didn't know there was that many asian people in the world. Earlier today/last night, I went to a Bon Jovi concert as well. In the quickie mart where I bought jolt there was a lot of pictures of running water hanging on the wall before the bathroom. And I thought to myself, who was the nazi who did that? Just before sweet relief, people are going to piss their pants.

Oh yeah, I'll update as soon as I fix my main computer, I have a bunch of aim logs saved for your reading pleasure. Check up then.

July 4, 2003
What happens when I'm bored...
It's a holiday today. But the 4th of July sucks until night, so I've been bored for most of today. I found a picture that sort of refers to my "I love the 80's" rant... the situation when I was a child. Here goes:

And now reminded of disgustingly large hair... I ponder why I didn't cut my afro off for the interview I have in a couple of hours. Oh well.
Hey! That's also the guy from "Bebo, the Cat What Has Facial Hair", a flash series you can find at http://www.godfart.com/. So check it out, it's funny as hell.

July 2, 2003
Summer cleaning?
I was going through my old aim logs... I had just added one today... and I found these conversations. So I said... why the hell don't you put them up? And my computer replied, "Because you're a lazy fuck, that's why." I got up, out of the chair I stole from the neighbors front lawn (that's the first thing I did when I got my license, by the way) and said, "No computer, fuck YOU, because you have a shit ass modem. You know what, you disconnected me 18 fucking times tonight. You know how many more times than 17 that is? ONE. And when you go over 17, you're really just taking it over the limit." The computer just... sort of looked back at me. It showed this picture of Spike... pointing a gun. I started swearing at him... told him to point it somewhere else. He didn't. So I opened portal, and my sheild of text came up. It was so cool.

Sometimes I question why I drink alcohol... then I remember things like this.

June 31, 2003
Gren, fuck you... it ISN'T July 1st...
I updated some... things... in that mud section. That's right. I added a whole bunch of muds. I didn't get to the ones that sucked though. I guess I'm just lazy as all hell. Oh well.

June 25, 2003
i r teh skuc!

Sorry I kept you guys waiting so damn long for an update... but it's here. And hell, it's not even funny at all. But a lot of you asked about the dead links in the mud section and the lack of DBZW:R stuff, so I worked on some of it. It still sucks. Just like me. I should die.
I passed my license test today... I don't know what that matters to any of you, maybe I'll be able to do photoessays better or something with more places to shoot, but whatever.
Speaking of photoessays... I've started work on one. Probably my stupidest idea ever. You'll see it when I get done. The idiocy is overwhelming.

June 11, 2003
I put all that stuff I wrote up on the shell today... and did like 5 updates in one. So a lot of new stuff I guess. Hope you like.

The Fifth... of June... 2003 Years after some... Christ guy died
Well now... we have something different for you kids today. An update that DOESN'T revolve around text. Odd, no? Well, I figured I can really do something with pictures semi productive on this website, so I made my first photo essay, along with the help of Shawn Rayl and Mike DiFazio. It chronicles the good... and bad times of a shady hand named Sticky Fingers. You can veiw the Sticky Fingers Essay by clicking on that link or going to the brand new Photo Essays section. A section dedicated to contributers is also in the works, but for now I will put people like Mike and Shawn in the credits for each individual thing they work on. And I'll put their ugly mugs up with the work too. Well, hope you enjoy our newest production, give me feedback on it please.

June 4th, 2-doubleoh-thrice
I had a little run in with the infamous rapper at our school, S-Curve, today. The 'Curve, it seems, or Scott Miles as he's formally known, has a full length album out. Of course, he's white. Not that that should mean anything in todays world community, but some of you racist bastards make it out to be that way. *cough* So anyways, I preformed my song "King of Caucasia" for him, and he liked it. That was shwing, that an actual rapper thinks my song isn't crap.

Oh yeah, and I had to take a picture for my license today. I take the test the 25th, but they make me take a picture in advance... so I broke out the good old digital camera and took a bunch of pictures. I selected a couple of them, fixed the red eye and the razor burn my barber gave me (I got a haircut and shave yesterday) and put them on the website. Unless you are a dumbass, you can figure out that they are available at the pictures section. I think I'll run around more frequently with the camera. I like it, and I'd also like to capture some of the retarded ass shit I deal with on a daily basis and share it with you guys.

By the way, if you want nude pictures of me, don't look around here on the site for them. Trust me... they exist. Just not here.

June 3, 2002
Too pissed to write anything funny today. A middle aged hall monitor who shall remain nameless decided he should harass me and call me an ass after I told him not to, and when I contested that I wasn't an ass, he decided to get me in trouble for it. Well fuck you, Mr. Nameless Hall Monitor guy. But I am updating, regardless. I made a little aim log of the same guy who said he was a supermodel getting caught in the lie and shut down again. I like it. Maybe I acted a little overkill, but when you tell me the amount of lies this kid did, I think you deserve what I give you.

Ok... so I didn't write anything funny... but I used my Polish/English translating program to see how much I could warp what I just wrote through translation... and here's what I got:

Too peed this anything writes funny today. Ages average hall monitors nienazwana this will drown this this who decided he should plague And and ox of me of ass of me of him of us in him made he speaks notebook this, and when and he of you of notebook of him of depression is that he And he he put ass strongly, he this gets me in problem this. This this peppers you, this gives Nienazwana ores of Hall it Supervises guy. Shoe And this modernizes, tylko zważając . And he judged small aim of you registers so myself guy of who of spoke of wheel of wheel of wheel of closed him supermodel of getting him caught lie at home and this closed znów. And this this to into this way . This played me of woman of exaggeration, then this it is And it is I am delivered been maybe to shoes when you say catfish of lies this child made me, and this thinks you deserve what And give you.

June 1rd, 2003 AD (ie. The 12 Months of Our Lord, but More Than 12 Months) I started working again. Fantastic, eh? I wrote a rant on The Matrix. It's in the rants section. You're a tard if you couldn't figure out what it was. Also, the name rants sucks, it makes me look like a wannabe 13373r or something. I'm going to think of another name for the Rants section, but hey, if you have anything witty to name it, IM me (screenname: Shaikoten) or email me (shaikoten@swirvemail.com). I'm sort of leaning to the "notrants" section. Also, I decided that since I play a lot more games than DBZWR, I should update that section to encompass a few of the good and bad muds I've run into in the past few years I've been playing them. I started work on that section. I also made a button for my logs section. I think I might have to take Dancing Hitler out soon. Awww. And I also got a camera... I snuck it into the latest David Hasselhof photoshoot. I was only able to click one picture off, but you can see that in the pics section.

May 29, 2003
Yes, the last update was a piece of shit. And it was way too long ago. But fear not! This time I actually DID something for a change. I put in a logs page, and 3 new logs, and you can check them out HERE! I hope you like them. I'll get a new button up soon, I'm just doing this update as a late improv sort thing.

And YES... people are still coming to the site! Amazing. You people don't die, do you? Well that's cool. We're going to hit the 2k mark soon, I think I'll do a special update for ya'll when you get there, so keep them coming!

May 22, 2003
Fuck me
It's been way too long since I updated. Yeah, you can do the math. You know, it's hard some days though, to be able to work on a site. You run a bunch of time consuming jobs, start your own game, have school to pretend to try in... it can eat up a lot of time. Lately I've had another distraction, though. See... my friend Rolf gave me a rubber duck in school, quite randomly one day. Little did I know that David Hasselhoff had manifested himself within the duck, creating a vessel of pure evil. Well, to make a long story short, the duck took over my brain, made me carve its demonic etchings into its cheap rubber skin, and give it a joint to smoke. Remember now, he is also David Hasselhoff. It has recently come to my attention that David Hasselhoff, in addition to being satan, is also the next dictator of Germany. Ever seen one of his concerts? Litterally, more than a million Germans go there if he plays anywhere in europe. And I really don't know what's more scary, a bunch of Germans shouting "Seig Heil," or a bunch of Germans shouting "Knight Rider!"

May 13, 2003
Well now, even though I haven't made a real update in a few days it seams that word of my site is spreading like wildfire. It's a great feeling, too. I went over the Angelfire bandwidth limit today from all your hits. I checked my shell and say about 175 hits in the past 24 hours... damn good considering this is like my uber n00b website. Well I've decided that instead of counting this manually I'll get a hit counter and add up all my previous hits, and then we'll be all set. Also, I got off my ass and decided to write a story for you guys. This one's true, and actually pretty recent, it's about my drivers ed class. I think it's a good piece so check it out man! Also, I'm in the process of getting a flash program, so keep strapped in to the site and see what hellish creations I come up with...

May 11, 2003
2 A.M.: "What a beautiful night... I think I'll kill myself."
- Johnny the Homicidal Maniac
Actually, I won't, but I'm friggin pissed because stock SWR 1.0 blows and I need to get a new codebase for my game. That and I was sick today... passed out in the shower and blew chunks all over myself.

May 10, 2003
Got my shell today at spunge.org. Going to have a game running pretty soon, Cowboy Bebop based. If it happens to be up you can reach it through telnet at shell.spunge.org 7176. Downloaded photoshop today, I'll be able to make more graphics for the site soon. I think part of the problem is I'm a lazy ass. Or it's I have too many projects going on.

May 9, 2003
Wiggers piss me off. I was leaving school today and I saw this white kid with a shirt that said "dirty south" on the back. We live in fucking CONNECTICUT. And YOU AREN'T BLACK. You can like rap, that's fine, just don't be an ignorant ass.

May 8, 2003
Today me and some friends were in front of school where the benches are. We had a lot of trash, so we decided it needed depositing underneath the bench. We tossed it all there, and left a note to the Janitors, saying "We wuv u, jani-tors". We do this every day. That's how cool we are.

May 6, 2003
Ok... well my damn internet crashed while I was writing this, so I guess I'll write it up again in notepad where I won't lose it. I wrote a blurb for you today about me being a toymaker. I also came up with a good idea for a rant in the shower, but it requires research. I never thought I'd actually have to do research in real life... just goes to show you. I also read 4 issues of Johnny the Homicidal Maniac today, blew my mind. Thanks for reading guys.

May 5, 2003
I added a link on the navigation to the pics section. Finally got on a school computer. Who knows what I'm working on now... possibly a secret project? Or a breif hiatus to formulate new ideas? Only time will tell.

May 4, 2003
Added a picture, having to do with my Cocaine in the 80's rant. Fairly badass, check out my pics section. I'll have the link up soon on the navigation, I promise, but it I don't have photoshop at home so it'll have to wait for now. Also adding stuff onto the DBZWR section, probably going to change that around a lot.

May 3, 2003
Ok, well I lied to myself. I said I was going to take a fucking break off of the site for a full 24 hours... but nooooo. My conscience couldn't stand me leaving this link down. As you may have noticed, the "Pics" link isn't in the navigation. This is because I'm a dumbass who forgot to make a button. So here is a link:
The Pictures Section
And while I think of it... I added a picture. Yes... the REAL Jesus. Check it.
OH! and the fun never stops... I just forgot I wanted to thank you all for visiting my site. It got an all time high yesterday, 124 visits in 24 hours! I'm glad people actually appreciate some of my humor and such, and I'll keep on writing and coming up with new stuff for you!

May 2, 2003
Well I finally finished my frames. Hope you like. I also put in the stories section and stuff. Fucking eggs. Rock on.

May 1, 2003
Added a disclamer page, and a Blurbs section. Working on a couple of stories to post up on a new section, and possibly even adding frames. Not sure about the frames one yet, because... you know... I'd rather just do shit halfass.

April 30, 2003
Another update... fixed some bugs, worked on a rant about bitches. Added titles... um. Finished the lyrics for Crawling yesterday. Yes, I know it sounds like a fag is singing it, that's the point.

By the way... contact info and copyright shit. Email: shaikoten@swirvemail.com, Aim SN: Shaikoten, and copyright? I OWN EVERYTHING! I OWN YOU! HAHAHAHAHA! Wait a sec. I only own the shit on this site. But anyways, I own all the shit on this site, so don't fucking steal it without my permission, else I'll kick your ass... or sue you... or something.