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Renzo's Rant

Choose Your Own Saved By The Bell


Ah, the early 1990s. It was a simpler time, before Mark-Paul Gosselaar was solving crimes; before Mario Lopez was solving crimes on a bicycle; before Elizabeth Berkley was delivering the powerhouse thespian act to which all other sleasy stripper roles are now compared; before Tiffani-Amber Thiessen reached the height of her career with Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the Thirteenth; before Lark Voorhies had a sex change, donned a goalie mask and started killing all those teenagers with a machete; yes, it was even before Dustin Diamond was finally taken seriously as an actor. Wait, forget that last one.

If you're anything like me (and come on, who isn't?) then you'll remember the cultural icon of Saved By The Bell. Though it did spawn its share of sub-par spin-offs (The New Class, The College Years), and was itself the spin-off of a sub-par show (Good Morning Miss Bliss), SBTB will forever be remembered for its stellar writing, solid acting, realistic plotlines and effective tackling of real world issues. No, wait, that was the Cosby show. This was crap.

And yet we all watched it. Some of us even loved it, and actually went out of our way to acquire SBTB merchandise like lunch boxes and watches. These were the people that were later referred to as "losers", and later still referred to as "boss". But as much as you hated the show, you still watched it simply because you knew it was the right thing to do. Every week Zack would show us how to unsuccessfully attempt to weasel out of backfired schemes, and we would all be a little bit wiser for it. And who could forget that touching episode where Screech learns the true meaning of Labour Day and Slater beats a hobo to death with a hammer?

I now present to you the fruit of my labour of the last two weeks: a fully interactive Saved By The Bell Choose Your Own Adventure! It's got everything you've come to expect from this exciting line of books, including espionage, intrigue, and sexy hot tub antics! Check it out!

Choose Your Own Saved By The Bell


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