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Film Articles
Controversy On Lonnigan Set
Lohan Back in Hospital
Feldman To Be Prosecution Witness in Trial
Bernie Mac Diagnosed with Black Death
Julia's Baby Photo Reveals World's Largest Mouth; Actually Splits Head in Two When Opened
Beyonce a Triple Threat to Self at the Oscars
Courtney Love Gets Permanently Reserved Jail Cell
Carrie Fisher Talks of Mother's Frustration Over Unwanted Arousal While Watching First Half-Hour of Return of the Jedi
Polanski Gives Evidence Via Video Link From Secret Lunar Fortress
De Palma in Trouble Over Auditions; Polanski Outraged He Wasn't Invited
Former Bond Girl Jill St. John Recovering After Skiing Accident; Fellow Emergency Ward Inmates Said to be Getting "Pussy Galore"
Prince Charles Will Marry Parker-Bowles; Long-Awaited Tampon Reassignment Surgery Planned

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WENN

11 February 2005

Controversy On Lonnigan Set

Troubled action man Shorts Lonnigan is behind bars in Los Angeles after a judge declared his Pogo stick use was "out of control" at a probation hearing for the Ernest Rides Again star. Judge Antonio Baretto ordered police guards to arrest the actor in court yesterday and take him into custody after hearing he had violated his probation terms by being witnessed on a pogo stick no fewer than fourteen times. In his defense, Lonnigan told the court he was destitute and living in a garage in Whittier, California, and that since his house was already home to a car and therefore could not hold a car for himself, he was required to ride a pogo stick to work. He also claimed to be an expectant father, but Baretto was far from sympathetic, stating, "I had hoped and wanted to see Mr. Lonnigan not arrive in court on a pogo stick." Last month Lonnigan had requested permission from the courts to go to Cambodia to shoot a new film, The Violentest Monk In Japan. Baretto had agreed, on the condition that he undergo and pass a pogo test every day prior to his departure. According to the City Attorney, Lonnigan failed the test on the very first day. Meanwhile, Deputy City Attorney Robert Cha has told news show Celebrity Justice that officials recovered what appears to be a prosthetic penis attached to a pair of Lonnigan's underwear with a plastic container filled with clean urine. Cha states that this device is commonly used by pogo stick riders to dispense urine on nearby pedestrians. Lonnigan has reportedly been caught once before trying to use a similar device. Bail for the actor, who was convicted in 2003 for illegal tandem bicycle use with fiancee Anne Schedeen, has been set at $25,000.

Lohan Back in Hospital

Teen actress Lindsay Lohan is struggling to stay healthy after another trip to the hospital with an asleep foot. The pretty Mean Girls redhead was admitted to hospital last autumn after seeing a sick squirrel and spent a week recovering, and now it looks like her busy schedule and a sustained pressure on her foot are upsetting her health again. Lohan, who is in the middle of a family feud as her mother Dina and father Michael fight a bitter divorce battle, was given foot and chest X-rays when it was discovered that her right leg "tingled a bit". On the set of her new movie Just My Luck the busy actress has been putting in 17-hour days, up to 15 of which require her to sit on one or both of her lower legs. The 18-year-old star's publicist confirms, "Lindsay has been under the weather."

Feldman To Be Prosecution Witness in Trial

Former child star Corey Feldman will be called as a prosecution witness in the trial for the death of his own career. The 33-year-old, who until recently has been unwavering in his assertion that he had nothing to do with his career's mysterious death circa December 31, 1989, says in an upcoming interview with American TV show 20/20, that he's come to a "sickening realization" about his involvement with the 33-year-old career. Feldman became synonymous with the career after finding fame in movies including Stand By Me and The Lost Boys, but they reportedly fell out in the aftermath of Feldman becoming a dirty greaseball. In 1993, in the midst of the Feldman career's murder investigation, 22-year-old Feldman told police, "Nothing ever happened with my career and me." But recent evidence has suggested otherwise, and he will take the stand to give evidence against himself later this year.

Bernie Mac Diagnosed with Black Death

Ocean's Twelve star Bernie Mac has been diagnosed with the bubonic plague, also known as the black death. The funnyman was forced to take a lengthy hiatus from his hit TV show The Bernie Mac Show at the end of last year due to his health problems, which are usually caused by basing one's comedy entirely on race-related material. The disease, which claimed fellow race-obsessed comedian Chris Rock in December, causes the victim's act to quickly grow stale, and advanced cases may indicate a benign racist growth. Mac, 46, now reveals, "I've had the black death since 1983 and it has not altered or limited my lifestyle. I still dance, play basketball, and make jokes about how white people can't."

Beyonce a Triple Threat to Self at the Oscars

Beyonce Knowles will have her work cut out at the 77th Academy Awards on February 27 - she has three nominations in the same category. The Destiny's Child star is up for three seperate nods in the category "Best Bootyliciousness, Jellyness, or Sexcellence in a Motion Picture". While there are no other nominees in the category, thus ensuring her victory, the singer is still devestated that two of her performances are guaranteed to lose. She explains: "I'm very excited that I might be recognised for my bootyliciousness in Fade to Black, but if it does, that means that my jellyness in Michael Jackson: The One won't get the adoration and love that everything related to me deserves. But if I win for my jellyness, how will the world reward my sexcellence in The Fighting Temptations, which is somehow nominated despite being from 2 years ago? Either way I'm going to be two-thirds crushed."

Courtney Love Gets Permanently Reserved Jail Cell

Courtney Love has been honoured by a California court by being given her own jail cell. The 40-year-old cell, which boasts a functioning toilet and a non-soiled mattress, has been set aside for the rocker at all times, should she need to use it. The former Hole star has stated that she intends to make full use of the honourary cell, and has already moved several pieces of furniture in.

Polanski Gives Evidence Via Video Link From Secret Lunar Fortress

Film-maker Roman Polanski will give evidence via video link from the moon in his libel case against Vanity Fair magazine - in a bid to avoid being extradited to America. The Oscar-winning director, who is a Lunar citizen, created the massive base several years ago to establish a non-Terran sanctuary in which to drug and assault young girls at will. The compound, which stretches across many acres and affords a beautiful view of the Sea of Tranquility, allows Polanski and his lunar minions to enjoy simple carnal pleasures while fiercely defending invaders, Earthlings or not. Polanski, 71, is angry over a Vanity Fair article published in July 2002 which focuses on his notorious 1977 underage sex charge, which prompted him to flee America. Lord Nicholls says, "Despite his furtive status, a fugitive from justice is entitled to invoke the assistance of the court and any heavenly body on which he can find sanctuary. That is his right and he wishes to exercise it. He is not trying to hide from anybody, just merely to remain in the safety of his fortress in outer space. It is incorrect, then, to say that his sole aim in seeking this order is to avoid being extradited."

De Palma in Trouble Over Auditions; Polanski Outraged He Wasn't Invited

Movie-maker Brian De Palma has sparked outrage by sending out a casting call inviting a teen actress to appear in explicit sex scenes - as a 13-year-old. The director of The Untouchables and producer Art Linson want a "Caucasian girl" who is "young" and "completely comfortable with nudity" to play the role of Linda Martin in The Black Dahlia. The search has yet to find a suitable actress and a new casting call warns agents, "Your previous submissions weren't young enough." Meanwhile, fellow director Roman Polanski reportedly phoned De Palma from his hidden lunar base and angrily demanded to know why he wasn't invited to the auditions.

Prince Charles Will Marry Parker-Bowles; Long-Awaited Tampon Reassignment Surgery Planned

British royal Prince Charles will marry his lover Camilla Parker-Bowles on April 8 at England's Windsor Castle - despite the fact that he has yet to be transformed into a tampon as planned. The Prince Of Wales' representatives announced Thursday that due to a recent advancement in medical science, Charles will now be able to undergo the controversial reassignment surgery, and has decided to celebrate with marriage. Queen Elizabeth II says, "The Duke Of Edinburgh and I are very happy that the Prince of Wales and Mrs. Parker-Bowles are to marry." The Archbishop Of Canterbury, Dr. Rowan Williams will preside over the ceremony and says, "I am pleased that Prince Charles and Mrs. Camilla Parker-Bowles have decided to take this important step, and I'm sure the Prince will enjoy marriage, as well as living...uh, down there."

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