"My name is Fuggle Pumplesnort the 3rd. I was born and raised in the Australia outback, in the secret Kingdom that runs the land of Oz. My father died when I was 5, due to an unhappy encounter w/ a wombat. Having to rule the land from age of 5, I am a brilliant leader and inventor! I invented post-its! (but due to a bad day w/ my lawyer I didn’t get the rights...but that’s ok because I had his head chopped off!) When I reached the age of 15 I decided I needed more in my life so I began to travel the world w/ my happy hermit friend who does the cha-cha. As I was on my journey w/ my happy hermit friend who does the cha-cha, I became king of the world! Muahahaha! Bow before me for I am your God! Muahahaha! Life was great and I knew my place in the world….till that day! I got a visit from a man in a white coat. He explained to me that my whole life had been a joke and that I wasn’t King Of Australia/The world and that my happy hermit friend (who does the cha-cha) was in fact a dumb little box of tissue! My real name was “Joe”(or so he said) and that I was a nobody that wandered into his lab when I was 3. He took me from my secret lab/chamber and threw me out into a world that was full of people who refused to get me a banana. After this happened I fell into a state of deep, deep, deeeeeeeeeep contemplation (well….lets just say I lived outside a little store named ABC) and would still be there if not for an encounter w/ a hobo! I was laying there in my state of deep contemplation when he jumped from the shadows like a ninja! (well…except he kinda wobbled and fell down a lot…and he smelled rly bad…..ah, heck! He wasn’t like a ninja at all. Ninja’s are totally sweet! They flip out and kill a whole town! I heard about this…oh…ok back to the story…) and he tried to get my magic bottle of happiness! Then something happened inside of me…this was something I could do….so I hoball grabbed the bum and beat him w/ a stick! He ran in fear as the fury of my hoboness was all around him! It was then I knew that I had found my calling….to be…..a Hobo!"
