By Citizen Matt

Call me insensitive, but I don’t really care when famous people kick the bucket. It doesn’t really affect me. Like when Aaliyah died. It was more of an interesting anecdote at lunchtime than a tragedy to me. There is one thing I don’t like about celebrities dying though. The way everyone and their sister talks about, "Aaliyah, how I loved you, here’s a video for you," blah, blah, blah. It’s a little frightening to me that I’ve seen Aaliyah in more videos since her death then before she was alive. I believe she’s sold more records too. I also hate when they call every famous moron that overdoses on drugs "a tragedy" or "a tragic life cut short". Try bein’ a normal person, you jackass! Like George Carlin said, " It’s only a tragedy if the person dies because of a tragic flaw in their character."

Take Elvis. He had a tragic flaw. He was fat and enjoyed eating stringy chicken on the can. A tragic flaw. As a result, he had an aneurysm and died. Perfectly understandable. Now you for example, will not be remembered in music videos, and your death will not be broadcast on television. People will not stand outside your tomb on the anniversary of your death. Why? You’re a normal human being, and not one of these "celebrities", whom everyone’s supposed to worship because they’re famous. Here’s a little tidbit. Your celebrity heroes: 1.Fart, 2. Shit, and 3. Pee, like you do. And 1 and 2 smell as bad as yours do, if not worse. Theirs are made of silicon. So, if you die, and no one really cares, too bad! At least you won’t get a rant written about you on some guy’s website!