The Recipe Page!!!

APPLE CAKE

1 1/2 Oompa Loompas

Oompa Loompas are notoriously difficult to find let alone capture,
so you should plan on searching for them well in advance of baking.

1 Uncle

NB this does not have to be your own uncle - be adventurous,
gather some from the streets, you may find each has a unique flavour.
Season with salt and pepper, then grind into a fine powder.
HINT: If there is a struggle, take a hint from Timmy Mallet.

2 lb Steak

Any meat will do - be cunning, make it out of the uncle.

Some apples

These are a vital part of the proceedings