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To let you know Reverend Ethan answers questions with humor! SO if you would like to kill yourself or are attempting a suicide mission of some sort please do not ask because we will close the link. If you have a funny question then please feel free to ask. And all remember this is just a joke.

Answers and Replies

Deer raven c man.Eye fondled a probem.I thog eye yam eeylightirit, ma be becooz yi was nevar taught your lisoned in soonda skou or ye regaly skou.ya yam 34 nouw yand ma b ya cen tech me in a beter carrrrer.yuo no se i cen git a beater jub. irliterate man

Well, it's good to be back the E man was out, maybe out in Florida, spring break baby. Let's just say that there is a lot of beads given out. Now this is my first one back so this might suck (fingers cracking) First my son it is Reverend E man and finding the E on your damn keyboard ain't that hard, and if you capitalize every letter that should be capitalized why the hell can't you find the E. Anyway, now the first thing I sould probably tell you is go to that school for teaching illiterate people, of course it is for nine and ten year olds, but by the way you typed up that word "soonda" who knows? Now what I might of said may of been too 2nd grade for you, so what I'm going to do is summarize my speech into your dialect... ok here it goes.

Go t'de learnin' farm fo' ten year olds, and learn stuff. Stuff be baaaad, Stuff be yo' homey. If ya' learn stuff ya' gots'ta succeed. Succeed leads t'bre'd. Bre'd leads t'honky chicks. Honky chicks leads t'happiness. By de way learn how t'capitalize dojiggers.

Querido Rev. Ethan, Estoy muy enfermo en mi cabeza ese fecha. No se por que. Necesito consejero ahora. Ayudame, Senor Ethan, por favor! Sinceralmente, Juan Rodriguez de Antonio de Lopez de la Bron.

Cher, M. Juan Rodrgo l'oublie. Je suis désolé que je ne peux pas vous aider parce que je parle seulement la langue natale de Français. Donc vous devez celui demander probablement de ces révérends espagnols parce que je, obviousely ne peut pas vous aider. L'Homme d'E de Francois

Now Revahend Ole Man Tate, ah have a problem, dawgone it. ah reckon all of mah cows an' mah houn'dogs an' mah pigs an' mah possums is turnin' aginst me in a so't of livestock revolt. I've treated them fine, ah give a combined 1 glass of water a week fo' cryin' out loud! Fry mah hide! ah doesn't knows whar ah went wrong, acco'din' t' th' code o' th' heells! Kin yo' he'p me? Or at least send Animal Control t'mah house? Thanks, Jeb Samataro.

Well, the first thing that I think you should probably do, is buy a gun: prefebaly a big one.....a shotgun, one of those ones with two barrels those kick ass. They stop buffalo in their tracks. Next thing you should do, is stop being so damn cheap and get them some extra water. If I was a pig I would of taken over the farm already, and been ruling it with an iron pig fist, and no I'm not gonna send no animal control.... because you deserve all the ass kicking you get, love the animals, desire the animals, treat the animals with respect..... they are your friends....

Rev E-Man there is a boy in my algebra class. lets call him "dimitry" for the fun of it.now quite awile ago i stumbled along on some very important about this "Dimitry". What i no is somewheres along the line of who Dimitry likes. now i no he likes this lets say "Rebecca" and he nos i no he likes her. no that i no he is threatening to go to the police because i might be selling drugs which im not. he gave me the marker to begin with. so since this DIMITRY is oh so powerful should i fear for my life. i also have a strange obession with chicken and holidays. this year is it wronge to celebrate national chicken chesse drop day. Signed Chikcen Lover

First of all, "no" you use "no" for four different words women. And "wronge" what the hell is a wronge.... sounds like the sequel to Jinga. Anyway, sorry.. you know bad grammer gets me so damn mad. Anyway, about this problem. Most people know that I am a co worker with Dimitry on this wonderful and illaberate site, which brings so much joy to the hearts of millions of americans. By the way I would like to announce that Jeff's Site Yo is a family place, not hooters.... we don't sell wings and wear scimpy shirts with owls on it, no we appeal to the family man. (I have nothing against Hooters off the record) But anyway..... (ahhhh hooters) ahem...... well hooters, I mean Dimitry never tells me who he likes, so unfortunately I can't help you. But since I've been in the Florida Keys... you know....spreading the good word..... yes.... words... this entry is kind of out of time, because he doesn't like Becky, he likes well I don't know, but it's not Becky. But what I can tell you, is you should stop budding into his business......why do you care so much on who he likes.... I believe I had a previous question that almost said the same thing....... and why do you have to say.... "let's call him Dimitry" WE KNOW WHO YOUR TALKING ABOUT! Being a reverend I hate thinking...... one word answers solve almost everything... but on your case the bible don't answer... damn common sense does...... none................

Dear Rev Rev e man whats up home chitlin i have some probleizzle i keep tizalkin as i was a gangstar. I dont know whats wrong dog but every tizzime i search for a damn ding dong damn adverb i have the erge to spirt out some gangsta slang. I mean for god sakes i just found two wayz to say gangster and both are incorrect....help yo P.S Im white

yo white, ahahahaha... oh god your a funny guy!!!!!!! your gonna get shot....... to be plain and honest....... but I'll give it a try (cracks fingers) What I think you should do, is stop watching fidy cent... i mean fidy cents... i mean.... fifty freaking cents.... And just stop watching MTV is do the whole talking propaganda thing... And well just for good measure... find god....yeah.... find god....

Reverend e-man ,I CAN'T GET A GIRLFRIEND....I feel like there truly is no love for the fat man.Please help...Matt (Otter)

(clears throat)...... COME ON! I HAVE A CHICK AND I'M FAT! (don't tell the lord).... and she's beautiful.... I LOVE YOU HONEY!!!! (WAVES) anyway, you just to have the confidence Otter you have to comftorable with yourself, and I've seen you man your pretty attractive.... in fact... nevermind..... I LOVE MY BABY! HEY HONEY! (WAVES AGAIN) Otter this answer probably isn't helping your self esteem, because I give much recognition to my baby.... the key is.... if you look hard enough, the right girl is always out there... and remember Pre Marital sex is never acceptable.

Ello Reverend Ethan this is Chris Eh. I have this little problem Eh. As so u can guess i am canadien Eh. Okay Eh. My problem is that i cant stop staring at maple surup. Its just so attractive to me, expecially on pancakes. Mmmmmmmmmmm. Pancakes, We canadiens just love pancakes. And i need to ask you, why does it make me gitty when i see a tree getting chopped down. It just feels like i need to steal that axe from the man in all flannel cloths and start chopping down some trees. Then i feel the need to stick a tapping device into a maple tree, wait for some sap to drip out. Boil it and add sugar. then i want to put it in a bottle and put it on pancakes and eat it Eh. please help me with my obsesive Canadien instincts **see's some maple surup and runs after it**

All right, huh.... I don't know how to answer this cause... your canadian, there's nothing I can change about this, their seems to be nothing wrong with what you do... I mean we all like syrup don't we? (YEAH SHOUTS THE NUNS) And we all need lumber for our houses... (YEAH SHOUTS THE NUNS AGAIN) God chose you and gave you the instincts to cut down trees and make syrup... I mean there's nothing wrong with it.... except maple syrup is cram packed with fat and choelestorel. So... try to cut down on the stuff, but other then that have fun..

Reverand E Man. Why when i walk out side the house i get beat up by people. Mostly black people. **cough** dimitry with some other black dudes. I just feel hated. Could it be cause im canadien???. I dont understand maybe it is because i wear brands of rappers and they find it weird cause im white. maybe its because it was hollaween yesterday and i was a ghost. tho i had it made by a dude with a cool ghost custom. but it had a big point at the top. Thats what mine looked like, but i dunno why that is why i got beat up, because i was a ghost??? I just cant see to find the answer. Maybe because my head hurts. **takes off his Du rag** well please help me

STOP DOING THAT! WE KNOW IT'S DIMITRY, QUIT IT WITH THE WHOLE COUGHING THING IT'S NOT LIKE I'M STUPID. I'M NOT STUPID I'M THE REVEREND! ahem.... well anyway, that guy who made your costume, is well let's face it a KKK member. And wouldn't you know that, I mean the guy is riding a white horse, who rides horses now a days.... Take off that damn du rag, you look so damn stupid. PS. News freaking flash... your white.... get used to it... same with the guy with the talking... with the slang..... It sounds stupid... (walks away, head down, in disguist, mumbelling "these people these days... so stupid... I TELL THEM I TELL THEM... stop trying to act black your gonna get kicked.... but no do they listen.... no, nobody listens to the reverend anymore, he's just a reverend.")

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