Well my son, I am kinda confused on how to answer this perticular question, because well you have a lot of crap going in your life that doesn't make much sense, such as the jesus on the cross thing....... what the hell is that. And the regular birth thing I don't really get that at all either..... basically all I'm gonna say is ....... no....... that should answer almost all your questions...... just no...... and well..... no........ And concerning the gay thing, everybody goes through it (except me) ...... so back to it again..... No......... everyman has it's limits man.
hey reverend ethan my greatest appreciation for answering my question i found your response quite helpful keep up the good work .your friend mr.judge judy
Well Mr. Judy, It's all in a reverends job man I just hope that my advice has helped you and thank you for showing your appreciation it really matters to a man. My best wishes with you and Ms. Judy
Dear Rev. Ethan, I have this problem. There is this one kid (i will not say Dimitry's name) who never says hi to me. I always say hi to him and start conversation, but he never responds, unless he says "get some friends" or "go away" . I fear he MAY be deaf but im not sure. If you wish to know who i am, just ask Dimitry who he never says hi to. Also, there is this fat kid on my street (I wont say Chris's name either) who bugs the hell outta me!! He wont shut up! Help me get rid of him, oh great Reverand E-Man
Well Mad'am, I work very closely with Mr. Dimitry and well let's just say he's not deaf he just doesn't like you. And quite frankly just don't try, and concerning Mr. Chris I have encountered this little pest I figured it is best to not talk to him, usually he will go away. If you have any more troubles please ask Mr. E Man and we will take care of the rest.
Dear Rev. Ethan, I going through a sort of identity/midlife crisis right now, and whenever i'm asked my name, i usually submit "Sally Jessy Raphael" or "Shantazia Adams" instead of my own. I also seem to have this undeniable love for vanilla coke. Is there anything you can do to help? I'm seriously desperate. And by the way, I'm even starting to think Samuel L. Jackson gave a mediocre performance in "The Negotiator". It can't be so! Can it? Thanks, Josh (i think)
First of all my son, I am answering your question first cause you seem to have the most trouble. First of all I know this cause you like vanilla coke and that stuff tastes like ass. Reverend E man has also had some troubles in his life with this perticular subject. First what you must do is find the council of god, because well the church pays me to say that... even though reverends don't get paid.. I mean... uh scandal scandal!. I think your problem is your addiction with vanilla coke so when you get off you will realize there are better refreshments in this huge playground of god. Then you wont have to hide your idendity. Everyone will realize and you will also realize how good Josh is not how good all those other names are whatever the hell they were. Praize the Lorda
reverand e-man, i've been wondering for a very long time, im not catholic, not protestant, not jewish, not purist, atheist, nazi, greek, plus when i have sex, i think im actually raping, what should i do????? sighned anonomys (pj)
Damn............ even reverend e man didn't know there were that many religions..... damn......... I think you have some very deep deep deep sexual problems and you should not be consulting the reverend on these perticular problems.... you should talk to Miss Cleo or some person of that perfession. But I'll give it a shot.... first of all to end this perticular feeling you should probably pick one of those fifty or so religions you just named, because god will show the truth... and don't be a nazi....... cause will show the truth and ........... no means no.......
Dear Rev Ethan i have many problems i like to listen to twisted sister also im addicted to pepsi blue professional chess is my favorite sport also i run 100 meter laps in 90 meter gyms please help
First of all my son, you do have some pretty bad problems, because let's all just face it there is no such thing as a 90 meter gym cause that would be pretty close to a gym that is a mile. And as far as I know all the gyms in manchester aren't that freaking long. Also my son, I think your problems are deeply rooted with your love for twisted sister, because well not only that they suck huge balls, Dean Sneider is a smight waiting to happen, and they all look like chicks. Also Pepsi Blue tastes like medicine and any commercial with a bunch of monks singing to a rap rock song, that by the way sounds almost exactly like a good charlotte song is pretty much guarenteed to taste like butt, cause if they need a catchy tune such as that "You know they be hiding something" So if you end those habits my son you will find happiness PRAISE THE LORD!
yeah ethan uh one of my problems is a sexual attraction towards judge judy and hanging out with ben beaudry i keep having scary dreams about an old music teacher ms.price and i really have a fear of one day becoming a vampire i must admit i also have a slight addiction to vanilla coke and once in a while i like to imagine that i'm wesley snipes butler slash a secret agent and save the world from flying monkeys owned by hobos i enjoy making homemade bombs and lighting them in neighbors yards i think i have feelings toward christy sherwood but it's probably just the ass i also watching cher music videos over and over i feel that i might be posessed so if u have any suggestions i would really appreciate it thanx p.s . have u ever seen judge judy?
Yes a matter of fact I have seen Miss Judy, and like usual I only have one word to say......... damn.... also this word could describe Kristie Sheerwood. Other then this I think that all of your addictions are quit safe...... except for the bomb thing you should seriousely not do that. But other then that it's just a matter of excepting yourself.
P.S. You ain't no vampire.......cause if you were I would of hunted you down already punk.
dear holy minister e-man, i think i've found a religion, and my sexual problems are gone, but there's a man that keeps following me. he's dressed in a long robe, and he's carrying a cross like dagger (is he moses) but anyways, he says he is the holy jesus reborn, and only rev. e-man can boast to be the holy christ. i want to kill him but i dont want to disrupt the holy matrimony of my god, mankanuku, and another thing, my chest seems to be rising every day, in two spots what's happening to me? am i like one of those pgmys in south africa who have spiritual meltdowns? and another thing, my priest is a woman, should i let her rape me?
First of all....... that whole up and down motion happening to your chest: well that's what the reverends like to call breathing, you might want to keep doing that. I'm very glad that you found your own religion cause your probably the nazi etc. etc. person, hopefully you found christianity but anything other then nazi is pretty cool to me...... except for them damn Al Quadea worship that kinda sucks too. And then this man who is chasing you with a cross like dagger: first of all this cross like dagger is probably a cross, he's not saying that he is jesus, he's saying spread the word about jesus he's probably a jehova witness. I am also not jesus, with the whole killing thing..... don't do that, and with the chick reverend thing.... no...... Just just......... no