I wait.


not for you (specifically, anyway)--- at least, I say that now.


essentially, I'm drunk and want to touch a woman--- I think I could have kissed you, once, if I had the inclination at the time.


I desire. Trusting in the now, I've no concern of what can be. That's probably not true. I am you. I am an aspect of you that has thought of a future with it's self. The whole shebang, really. Maybe... whatever, I don't know. I'm 12 with the mentality that has been promoted in our age- excuses... blah. This is you writing- I would have you acknowledge that. I understand my desires may be based in delusion, so I don't really care how I'm perceived (because I am you- and you understand- every moment)- so I revel- writing to a friend. I think- if I was you... could I fall in love with an ass? Probably. We share the same ingredients of delusion. We share the same respect for our responsibility to the cosmos. Will we be? I don't know--- maybe you know better than I... maybe.


Leave the 'court of romance' unexplored, eh? What, in the name of all holiness is that supposed to mean, anyway?


I run many scenarios through my mind--- you're not hired by 'malevolent' forces to distract me, are you?--- well, you are someone trained, are you not? Am I just a lucky aspect of God, playing a game of revealing pride, that just so happened to cross paths with a phenomenal prospect that fills every prerequisite of adventurous romance? Or, are all things as they seem? Probably. So I marvel at you, and hope (which is funny- because the hope lies in you courting me).


Though, that aside, I know. I know whatever will be will be. I know that there is a very very good chance that I do delude myself- though it doesn't matter right now.


... 'boys'- I know--- 'girls', too, I may add.


I wonder if you'll marry me. I wonder if I'll marry you. I wonder if we'll have a child, or two, or three, or four. I wonder if I'll marry, at all. I wonder if, in my glee of having an excuse to blather, you'll become bored of me. I wonder if I'll ever amaze you.


I told you once 'as a man loves a woman, I love you'- apparently it still rings true.


I wonder if you'll follow another romance. I wonder if I will.


I desire.


in the fear of perpetual mundane-ness and the knowledge of the impossibility of it,


your friend (for better or worse),


a point of love that loves you,