What does a nigger and a apple have in common?
They both look good hanging from a tree.
Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling?
Because he doesn't know he's black.
What's black, yellow, green, orange, and purple?
A nigger dressed for church.
What do you call a bunch of niggers playing in a pile of leaves?
Raisin Bran.
How long does it take a nigger to shit?
Nine months.
How many niggers does it take to pave a driveway?
One if you slice him real thin.
What do you call 100 niggers on the moon?
Problem.
What do you call 1000 niggers on the moon?
Problem.
What do you call all niggers on the moon?
Problem Solved.
What does NBA stand for?
Nothing but apes.
Why are the trees so close together in Harlem?
Public Transportation.
Why do niggers smell?
So blind people can hate them too.
Why cant Stevie Wonder read?
He's black.
What do you throw a drowning nigger?
His family.
What did the Alabama Sheriff call the nigger that was shot 20 times?
Worst case of suicide he ever seen.
What do you say when your TV starts floating out the window at night?
Drop it nigger.
What's black and yellow and allot of fun to watch?
A bus load of niggers going over a cliff.
Why don't niggers take aspirin?
Because it's white, it works and they refuse to pick the cotton out of the
bottle.
What do you get if you cross a nigger with a gorilla?
A dumb gorilla.
What is wrong with 4 niggers going over a cliff in a car?
The car seats 5.
Why do niggers wear platform shoes?
So their knuckles don't drag along the ground.
Why are niggers so fast?
All the slow ones are in jail.
What do you do when you see a nigger with one leg?
Stop laughing and re-load.
How do you keep niggers about of your backyard?
Hang one in the front yard.
Why don't niggers like blowjobs?
They don't like any jobs.
Why don't you know if your getting robbed at night?
Because you can't see the niggers.
Why are nigger's noses flat?
That's where God put his foot when he pulled off their tails.
What do you call a nigger having sex?
Rape.
What did God say when he created the first nigger?
Whoops burnt one.
Why are niggers so strong?
TV's are getting heavier.
Why do niggers like basketball?
It involves running, shooting, and stealing.
What's the difference between a nigger and a letter?
You can send a letter back where it came from.
What's long and black?
The unemployment line.
Why is Stevey Wonder Smiling all the time?
He doesn't know he's black.
A black guy and a Mexican guy opened a restaurant.
It's called Nacho Mama.
What do you get when you cross an Eskimo with a Nigger?
A Snowblower that Doesn't work!
What do you call an Negro with a peg leg?
Shit on a stick.
There are two kids in the third grade. A black kid and a white kid.
Who's got the bigger dick?
(person should answer "the black kid")
Why? (person should answer "because he's black")
Reply: No because he's seventeen.
How do you starve a black man?
Put his food stamps in his work boots.
Why don't blacks like Tylenol?
They have to pick cotton to get to them.
What does a nigger get for Christmas?
Your bike!!!
How do you keep niggers out of your back yard?
Hang one in the front!!
What is the difference between a black and a bucket of shit?
The bucket.
Why do you never hit a black on a bike?
Because it is probably your bike.
Why are black people so tall?
Because their knee grows.
When is the only time u concentrate on a black man.
Behind the eyepiece of your rifle.
What's the difference between batman and a blackman?
Batman can go to the store with out robin.
What's the difference between shit and a black?
Eventually Shit turns white and stops stinking.
How do they say "fuck you" in Los Angeles?
Trust me.
What's black and white and red all over?
An interracial couple in a car wreck.
How many blacks does it take to clean a toilet?
None, it's a woman's job.
What's the definition of black foreplay?
Don't scream or I'll kill you.
Did you hear about the new black French restaurant?
It's called Chez What.
What do you get when you cross a black prostitute with a Chinese woman?
A broad that sucks shirts.
How do you make a black nervous?
Take him to an auction.
What do you call a black test tube baby?
Janitor in a drum.
Why do blacks smell so bad?
So the blind can hate them too.
Why do blacks keep their fly's open?
In case they have to count to eleven.
Why do blacks wear white gloves?
So they don't bite their fingers eating tootsie rolls.
Why did so many blacks get killed in the war?
When the Colonel yelled get down, they all got up and danced.
What do you call a black with a new caddie?
A better thief.
Why don't black kids jump on their beds?
Because they'll stick to the velcro on the ceiling.
How can you tell when a black as been on your computer?
It is not there.
What do you call a black with no arms?
Trustworthy.
A black guy and a Mexican guy opened a restaurant.
It's called Nacho Mama.
What do you get when you cross an Eskimo with a Nigger?
A Snowblower that Doesn't work!
What do you call an Negro with a peg leg?
Shit on a stick.
There are two kids in the third grade. A black kid and a white kid.
Who's got the bigger dick?
(person should answer "the black kid")
Why? (person should answer "because he's black")
Reply: No because he's seventeen.
How do you starve a black man?
Put his food stamps in his work boots.
Why don't blacks like Tylenol?
They have to pick cotton to get to them.
What did the black women get for getting an abortion?
Fat cash from crime stoppers.
What does a nigger get for Christmas?
Your bike!!!
How do you keep niggers out of your back yard?
Hang one in the front!!
What is the difference between a black and a bucket of shit?
The bucket.
Why do you never hit a black on a bike?
Because it is probably your bike.
Why are black people so tall?
Because their knee grows.
Why do black people wear hats covering their face?
so the birds don't shit on their lips.
What is white with a black asshole?
The A-Team
How many niggers does it take to single a roof?
Depends on how thin you slice um.
How many niggers does it take to pave a road?
Depends on how heavy the roller is.
When is the only time u concentrate on a black man.
Behind the eyepiece of your rifle.
What's the difference between batman and a blackman?
Batman can go to the store with out robin.
What's the difference between shit and a black?
Eventually Shit turns white and stops stinking.
Is it better to be born black or gay?
Black - because you don't have to tell your folks.
How do they say "fuck you" in Los Angeles?
Trust me.
What's black and white and red all over?
An interracial couple in a car wreck.
How many blacks does it take to clean a toilet?
None, it's a woman's job.
How do you know Adam and Eve weren't black?
Ever try and take a rib from a black.
Why do niggers carry shit in their wallet?
Identification
Why do niggers wear wide brimmed hats?
So birds won't shit on their lips
How do you stop black kids from jumping on your bed?
Put velcro on the ceiling
How do you get a nigger down from a tree
Cut the rope
How do you stop a nigger from hanging around in your front yard?
Hang him in the back
What's the difference between a deer in the road and a nigger in the road?
The deer has skid marks in front of it
What happened to the nigger that had an abortion?
Crime stoppers sent her a check for 500 dollars
What are 3 things you can't give a nigger?
A black eye, a fat lip, and a job
How do you stop a nigger from drowning?
Take your foot off his head
What is the difference between batman and a black man?
Batman can go out at night without robin
What's the definition of mass confusion?
Father's Day in Harlem
Why shouldn't you hit a nigger riding a bike?
Because the bike is probably yours
Why do white people go to black people's garage sales?
To get their stuff back
What do black kids get for Christmas?
Your bike
What is long and hard on a nigger?
First Grade
Why do Black People lean to the middle when they drive?
They think the smells comin' from the outside
Why do niggers have red eyes after having sex ?
Because of the pepper spray
What's the difference between a nigger and a bike?
When you put chains on a bike it doesn't start singing
How do you know Adam and Eve weren't black?
Ever try taking a rib from a nigger?
What was missing from the million man march?
An auctioneer
What do you call 100 niggers on the bottom of the sea?
A good start
What does a smart nigger, and Santa Clause have in common?
They're both fictional characters
Why are the trees in harlem so close together?
Public transportation
In 4th Grade who has the biggest dick, the wetback, the white boy, or the nigger?
The nigger, he's 16
What do you call a barn full of dead niggers?
Antique farm equipment
How do you start a black parade?
By rolling a penny down the street
What goes Fee Fi Foe Fee Fi Foe Fee?
Mike Tyson giving out his phone number
What do black people give their daughter when she turns 13?
A baby shower
What do you get when you cross a monkey and a nigger?
Nothing, monkeys are too smart to fuck niggers
What do niggers and sperm have in common?
Only one in two million work
Why do niggers always have sex on their minds?
Because of the pubic hair on their heads.
How did the nigger break his leg raking the leaves?
He fell out of the tree.
How has Jesse Jackson lost the vote of most niggers?
He promised to create jobs for them if elected.
What do you call a nigger in a suit?
Defendant
What do black girls and bears have in common?
They both suck their paws
What happened when the nigger looked up his family tree?
A gorilla shit in his face
What's the difference between a jew and a pizza?
A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.
What's the difference between a nigger and a snow tire?
A snow tire doesn't sing when you put chains on it.
What would you call the Flintstones if they were black?
Niggers.
Why don't sharks eat niggers?
They think it's whale shit.
What do you call a nigger in a tree with a briefcase?
Branch manager.
How come there aren't any Mexicans on Star Trek?
They don't work in the future, either.
Why do niggers cry during sex?
The Mace.
How do you stop a nigger from drowning?
Take your foot off the back of his head.
What do you get when you cross a retard with a gang banger?
Someone who spray paints on a chain link fence.
What do you get when you cross a nigger and a spic?
Someone too lazy to steal.
What do nigger kids get for Christmas?
Your bike.
What's a niggers idea of foreplay?
"Don't scream or I'll cut you, bitch."
Why do spics drive low-riders?
So they can cruise and pick lettuce at the same time.
Why don't nigger kids play in the sandbox?
Cats keep covering them up.
What do you call an apartment full of niggers?
A COON-dominium.
Why are there no nigger astronauts?
Their lips explode at 50,000 feet.
How do you babysit a niglet?
Wet his lips and stick him to the wall.
How do you get him down?
Teach him to say "Motherfucker."
How else do you babysit a niglet?
Put Velcro on the ceiling and tell him to jump.
How do you get him down?
Invite the spics over, blindfold them and tell them it's a piņata party.
Why do jews have big noses?
Air is free.
What is a nigger on a bike?
Thief.
What do you call 50 niggers at the bottom of the ocean?
Good start.
What is the worst 3 years of a niggers life?
First grade.
How was break dancing invented?
Niggers trying to steal hubcaps from moving cars.
Why do niggers keep chickens in their back yards?
To teach their kids how to walk.
What is a nigger?
Proof that skunks fuck monkeys.
What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead nigger in
the road?
The dead dog has skid marks in front of it.
What did Abe Lincoln say after a 3 day drunk?
"I set WHO free?"
Why are chimps always frowning?
They know in a million years they are going to turn into niggers.
Why is interrogating a Mexican like a pool ball?
The harder you hit it the more English you get.
How many jews can you fit in a VolksWagon?
All of them if you put them in the ashtray.
You hear about the new car made in Israel?
Not only can it stop on a dime, it will go back and pick it up.
What do you call an Ethiopian with a pickle on his head?
A quarter-pounder.
How many Ethiopians can you fit in a phone booth?
All of them.
How do you start a foot race in Ethiopia?
Roll a doughnut down the street.
How do you blindfold a chink?
Dental floss.
How do chinks name their kids?
They throw silverware down the stairs.
What's the difference between a nigger and a bag of shit?
The bag.
When does a Black man turn into a nigger?
As soon as he leaves the room.
What do you call a nigger in a courtroom in a 3 piece suit?
The defendant.
There is a nigger and a spic in a car, who's driving?
The cop.
Why don't nigger women wear panties to picnics?
To keep the flies off the chicken.
Why does Alabama have niggers and California have earthquakes?
California got first pick.
Why do Mexican cars have those little steering wheels?
So they can drive handcuffed.
Why are niggers like sperm?
Only one in a million actually work.
How do you fit 100 Cubans in a shoe box?
Tell them its a raft.
Why do police dogs lick their ass?
To get the taste of nigger out of their mouth.
What can a pizza do that a nigger can't?
Feed a family of four.
Did you hear that the KKK bought the movie rights to Roots?
They're going to play it backwards so it has a happy ending.
Did you hear about the new Black Barbie?
It comes with 12 kids, AIDS and a welfare check.
What is black, white, and rolls off the end of the pier?
A nigger and a seagull fighting over a chicken wing.
Did you hear about the new Chap Stick for niggers?
It comes in a spray can.
What's the difference between niggers and pit-bulls?
It's still legal to own a pit-bull.
What do you say to a black man in uniform?
"I'll have a Big Mac with cheese and a coke."
Why do niggers walk the way they do?
Because they spent the first nine months of their lives dodging a coat
hanger.
Why do niggers call white people "honkies"?
That's the last sound they hear before the white people run them over.
How do you stop a nigger from going out?
Pour more gas on him.
What do you do if you run over a nigger?
Reverse.
Why do decent white folks shop at nigger yard sales?
To get all their stuff back.
Who were the three most famous women in black history?
Aunt Jemima, Diana Ross, and Mother Fucker!
Hear about the new bumper sticker that says "Run, Jesse, Run"?
You put it on the front of your car.
Why did so many nigger soldiers get killed in Vietnam?
Every time someone yelled "Get down!" the niggers would jump up and start dancing.
Did you hear about Evel Knieval's new motorcycle stunt?
He's going to ride through Ethiopia with a sandwich tied to his back.
Did you hear about Ku Klux Knieval?
He tried to jump 50 niggers with a steam roller.
Why did god create orgasms?
So niggers know when to stop.
Why are so many niggers moving to Detroit?
They heard there were no jobs there.
How do you fit 15 niggers in the back of a Cadillac?
Don't worry, they'll figure it out.
What's yellow and black and makes you laugh ?
A bus full of niggers going over a cliff.
How do you stop a nigger from drowning?
You don't.
What's a crying shame?
When a bus full of niggers drives off a cliff and there were 3 empty
seats.
What's black, orange, and very pretty?
A nigger on fire.
What do you have if you've got a nigger up to his neck in cement?
Not enough cement.
How do you get 12 niggers in a Volkswagen?
Throw in a welfare check.
How do you get them out?
Throw in a job application.
How does a black woman fight crime?
She has an abortion.