Burger t-shirt!
Burger t-shirt!
Wow! New evil burger t-shirts! All the cool kids are wearing them! You DO want to be cool, don't you? YES YOU DO LIER. I CAN READ THE INNER CONFINES OF YOUR VERY SOUL! BUY THE SHIRT! BUUUYYY! Oh, sorry. Comes in one size: Fatass. Buy now for the new low price of under $15.00! Buy now!
Burger Mouse pad!!!
Hey kids! Are you BORED of your BOORRIINNNGG mouse pad? Do you look at it everyday and say "I hate this mousepad. I hate my life. I want to kill myself." Well look no further, because this is the mouse pad for YOU! Yes, YOU! It includes the lastest in mousepad technology. It includes the grip thing on the bottom, and the surface is so shiny you can see yourself in it. Actually, you can see yourself in the burgers mouth, so you can imagine what it's like to be eaten by a burger! WOW! Only the modern japanese children slaves can think of such a wonderful idea! It's so trendy that if you show this to a loved one, they'll automaticlly give you a blow job: Guaranteed! Ever wanted to have sex your cousin but though it would be too awkward to ask? No problem! Buy this mousepad and you're on your way to heaven! Now at a special price of under ten dollars, wow! Maybe I should stop using explanation marks after every sentance.
Only 9.99!
Burger flamer!!!
Do you ever get into that mood where you get really, really angry? For example, the feeling you get when some fucking dumbass yells something out in class to try and look funny, but just looks like an annoying asshole? What about those times when hippies stop you on the street so they can submerge you in propagranda about the earth? Or how about the times when some keeps telling you over and over how good a game is and all the features, making you want to spend money you don't have, so you end up pulling your hair out of your head for a week because you think this can be that one game you've been waiting for, and when you finally buy the game after walking a mile in the snow you relise how much it sucks ass so you want to stab yourself? Or... what about when people tell you they saw the Matrix six times before you have because they can get family members/friends to bust their asses FOR THEM while you sit home pissed off WHICH IS EXACTLY HOW I FEEL RIGHT NOW. Anyways, those times call for measures. Drastic measures. That's why I invented... The Evil Burger hotsauce flamethrower 2000! You see, it works just like any other flamer, but better! Instead of igniting gas, I use somethinger cheaper AND tastier. Yes, hotsauce. You see, the flamer is so advanced that it transforms the power of hotsauce by a gazillionm times! WOW! The removable container means different variations of hotsauce! The flamer can shoot fiery wasabi, tabasco sauce, and every other sauce known to man (a couple sauces known to monkeys as well)! This is perfect for canabals! After you flame somebody down, you can feast upon their delicious cooked flesh with your choice of saucy flavor! But that's not all! The flamer also includes a speaker. This is used for two things. First, it is used to shout random out-of-context evil burger phrases whenever activated! Second, it has a built in program that can teach you jamacain while you're in battle! It's a dream come true! Oh, but one more thing! There is a laser pointer on the top of the flamer. Now, before all of you say "BUTT EVIL FLAMRS DN'T NED LAZER POINTERZ LOLZ STUPIDZ" I first have something to tell you. The laser is there for one reason... BECAUSE I FUCKING SAID SO THAT'S WHY. I don't need you dumbasses telling me how a flamer works, just because you play games like counter-strike doesn't make you a fucking military smartass. Oh, did I mention... Buy this product now!
Only 399.99!