One out of two people arn't smart enough to fold menus correctly.

Naturally, by having a job at a restaurant this is not my only ranting about it. Anyways, I couldn't help but notice how many horribly deformed and mangled our menus are by the end of each day. Hell, more like each meal. The reason: folding menus is too hard for our modern crowd. People are JUST TOO STUPID to fold pieces of paper these days. Therefore, in attempt to put an end to at least one division of unnecessary stupidity (which I have tried and failed at many times), I have created this step-by-step guide for folding menus. I know it is an utterly hard, confusing, and downright impossible task for many of you, But bear with me. In three easy steps, you will become a menu-folding master! On with it, then.

Step one: This first task has baffled many and is sometimes to source of the problem. I understand how many of you will struggle through this, but you must belive in yourself. Okay, all you must do is take the menu and place it in front of you as illustrated below.

Step two: Here's where it gets tricky. SLOWLY place your hand on the side flap which is NOT the cover page. Don't try it too fast or your body might explode from the exhaustion. Once you have done that, carefully turn the flap towards the middle. Do NOT turn the flap the wrong way. Eventually, it should end up looking like this:

Step three: Almost there. If you complete this step, it seems you may actually have a chance to reach the IQ level of a cow. Don't give your hopes up though. This last step requires you to put your hand on the remaining flap: the cover (I will understand if you decide to give up here). after placing the hand on the cover, carefully turn the cover towards the center as with the last one. Be aware, this step has incapacitated many, many morons. If you complete this step, your menu shall turn out like this:

Congragulations to all of you who have completed this task. Now you may move up to a higher class: tying your shoe. However, I demand a moment of silence for all the mind-rotted teenagers who lost their lives attempting this feat. Wait, a minute, what am I saying? Fuck them all!

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