Hello, and welcome to my special once-in-a-lifetime uber update. Todays topic: chatting online.
1. The distinct language: Some people refer to this as geek language, some refer to it as "easy typing"... However, I call it "the outcome of when you throw the biggest group of morons together and make them talk". Apparently, NORMAL english wasn't good enough for this knowledge deprived group of idiots. Let me just emphasize that last point. Fucking, drooling, punk ass, hormonless teenagers who can hardly pass off as excuses for carbon-based lifeforms. Although this is somewhat off topic here, they are the reason such stupidity exists.
2. The spread of stupidity: Since the dawn of idiocy, people have been totally depedant on one another. What I'm trying to say is that people will belive anything that their friends tell them. Before the internet, this information had to be delived in person or through phone in one to one conversations. Nowadays, we have something called AOL. AOL is responsible for a very high percent in the projection of stupidity. Now, instead of talking to one person through the phone at a time, one can spread stupidity faster than the flu in a herd of humans infested with AIDs.
3. The overconfidance it produces: Your average chatting dumbass spends entire days loitering in chatrooms. Naturally, they get into fights with people online because of their horrible stupidity. Eventually, the person they argue with usally gets SO PISSED OFF that they leave the chatroom and beat the shit out of something in blind fustration. Therefore, the absence of them makes the idiot think they're just won a war. Oh, trust me, I've been around to observe. Well, after "winning" many of these (the figures are in the hundreds, these assholes spend all day arguing) the idiot steps out into the daylight. Here is where endless torment and annoyance begins. Because of the experiance they have from the chatrooms, the average idiot feels as if he just grown a pair. I think we both know he can't get any further from the truth. The SENSLESS MOTHER FUCKER (sorry, couldn't control myself) then blissfully wanders off into groups he sees lower than him. What he doesn't relize is that he is as low as people get. This dumbasses then threatens people and "insults them" thinking he could kill a man. I apoligize in advance for the upcomming outburst. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKING! YOU'RE A GOD DAMN MAGGOT! ANYBODY COULD CRUSH YOUR WITH THEIR THUMB! God knows how pissed I get at the sight of these people. Just imagine how pissed off I am when one of these worthless excuses for flesh comes up to me, standing a monsterous three feet tall, challanging me to a fight. Ahem. WHAT?! I feel like twisting his head off, kicking him in his pathetic excuse for a groin and then throwing him into a dumpster. All I can ever say to them is "BE THANKFUL THE LAW PROTECTS YOU, UNDERLING! IF I RAN THIS FORSAKEN COUNTRY YOU WOULD BE MAIMED!" Naturally, he walks off pretending it never happened, because anybody who responds to his threats is a threat to him. Please, my people, the next time you see a 12 year old with his chest puffed out thinking he owns the place, show him discipline for God's sake. Such scum can not be allowed to walk the earth. Curse AOL for allowing stupidity.
4. Americas new culture AND IQ: Tales tell of a distant time when stupidity roamed in concentrated groups. This is much unlike today. Everyday as I walk outside, it's as if a giant tsunami of stupidity washes down the streets and trys to consume my mind and my soul. No matter where you live, no matter where you hide, IT will get you. Thousands of brainwashed hosts for stupidity will roam these lands trying to take down everybody with them. Csshh cssh cssshh cssshh... GASP! What was that! Was that a slang word... AH! who are you?! Are you stupid or not? Somebody help me! This is what I experiance everyday as I step a foot outside. Hard to survivie, harder to avoid idiots. Now. What caused all this? No, shutup, you're wrong. I'll tell you... It's an unstoppable combo between MTV and AOL. MTV creates idiocy in their stupid factory while AOL distributes it. Go ahead... join a chatroom RIGHT NOW. Notice the slang and the attempts to be like rappers. It sickens me to ponder upon the subject. Let me get this straight here. YOU people... more specificly, you teenagers.. are trying to be like middle-school drop-outs. You are trying to be like people who can't speak one sentance of correct english. You are trying to be like people who talk on a tape and get their voices edited with machines to make them sound good. By God, HOW?! HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?! To sacrafice self independance is to sacrafice your very soul. Think. You are trying to be a clone of somebody. That would make you useless since you are in no bit different. Think about it you useless dumbasses. Oh, and before any of you even THINK about agreeing with me on any scrap of this, ask yourself if you are one of these dumbasses. Listen to rap? Dumbass. Try to mimic celebraties? Dumbass. Don't know whats going on in the world? Dumbass, dumbass, dumbass. Go figure, 90% of you people reading this are fucking dumbasses.
5. Aol, so easy to use, no wonder people think they're smart: Any idiot knows how to send an E-mail. I've known how since the day the damnable feature came out. However, teenagers don't relise that kids years younger than them are 5 times smarter than them about computers. Just because some rat-assed teen can send an e-mail they consider themselves a genius. I can't tell you how many times 10 kids have gotton up at oncein the middle of class whenever a device doesn't work, and they think they can fix it because they send e-mails. Oh, excuuussseee me sir! I didn't know you could send an e-mail! By all means, take the VCR and fuck it up all you want. My grandmother can send emails. I know a 7 year old who mail bombs. In a nutshell, AOL makes people think they're smarter then farm animals. Not true. I think both groups should be slaughter for food and sport.
6. The crippling of the human race: You can't have physical strength and a smart mind in one body. You know why? Because neither exist anymore. People send their entire day in front of the computer chatting. I find this amazing because you can get twice as much done in half the time in a phone conversation. Since these people choose the most inefficient way to communicate, half their lives go down the drain in front of the computer typing. The average bystander SHOULD be able to assume "hey, that kid spends all day on the computer, he must be smart." I think we both know what I am about to say. NO. You can't get a single notch further away from the truth. People sacrafice exercise for what... chatting? Does chatting make you smarter? Fuck no. What have I been saying for every single section so far? Actually, most people don't even remember conversations. Those who do are very pathetic because their conversation sucks ass. America has not only become stupid, bu now they have become crippled these "people".
Well eveybody, thus concludes my special presentation on the stupidity of the internet. This is probably one of the most generalized factors written about so far. I hope you enjoyed this so much that half a dozen beautiful women will smother me in hardcore XXX porn.