Congratulations, my friend. Only by visiting this little fragment of the huge cyberdimension called the Internet, you have been given a chance to be one of the lucky survivors when APSATAN takes control over the Earth. How to become one of these lucky ones? Simply click the "I'm a true APESATANIST"-button below.

So, who is this APSATAN? Here He is:



And only as you know:

YOU WILL DIE.



Oh yeah, to all the sensitive people out there: This site is a big joke.

The 13 APESATANIC statements

• APSATAN is your Master.
• Obey your Master.
• APSATAN's enemies are your enemies.
• Fight your enemies.
• APESATANISM is your religion.
• Your religion is the only true religion.
• Anyone who is not an APESATANIST is a heretic.
• The punishment for heracy is DEATH.
• Anyone who resists against APSATAN, the Gnuish Army, GFL, the Brotherhood or any other APESATANIC powertool shall be killed.
• Japan-Apan and his allies are the first victims of APSATAN's wrath.
• Give your soul to APSATAN.
• Give your mind to APSATAN.
• Eat more bananas.