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random quotes.

"The key to being creative is knowing how to hide your sources." -- Albert Einstein

"I don't drink Pepsi. I hate the way it represents the next generation of smiling people. Now Coke, it even sounds like a narcotic. Plus, it has fascist coloring. You really have to bow to Coca-Cola." -- Marilyn Manson

"There's nothing wrong with being a loser...It just depends how good you are at it." -- Billie Joe Armstrong

"If I had a life, I'd hate it." -- Rizzo the Rat from Muppet Treasure Island

"What's that, now you say life sucks? Well, 99% of it is what you make of it, so if your life sucks, YOU SUCK!" -- Suicidal Tendencies

"Truly, can you imagine anything more boring than fashion? Professional sports, perhaps. Grown men swatting little balls, while the rest of the world pays money to applaud. But on the whole I find fashion even more tedious than sports." -- Dr. Ian Malcolm, from Jurassic Park by Michael Crichton

"I like having low self-esteem. It makes me feel special." -- Jane from Daria

"You don't have bad luck. The reason why bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass." -- Red from That 70s Show

"Are you pondering what I'm pondering?" "I think so Brain, but if Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why does he keep doing it?" -- Pinky and the Brain

"People think that I must be a very strange person. This is not correct. I have the heart of a small boy. It is in a glass jar on my desk." -- Stephen King

"Love is what still goes on when you're not horny." --Robert A. Heinlein

"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me." -- Hunter S. Thompson

"Its because they're stupid, that's why. That's why everyone does everything." -- Homer, The Simpsons

"If you don't like your job, you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half assed. That's the American way." -- Homer, The Simpsons

"All the best bands are affiliated with Satan." --Bart, The Simpsons

"People who get nostalgic about childhood were obviously never children." -- Calvin

"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us." -- Calvin

"I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants." -- A. Whitney Brown

quotes from the adventures of pete and pete.

"Come back you eater of cheeses!" -- Artie

"I'd rather be deep fried in armpit sweat!" -- nona

"I have a feeling my 4:10 haircut's gonna be cancelled." -- wayne

"Be gone with you stinky, we will do battle next year." -- Artie

"What do you say we do a bit of speedwalking, the night is young, the air is crisp." -- teddy

"I do not believe you can catch me for I am super freaky." -- Artie

"Nobody talks that way about my lucky underpants!" -- nona

"They tried to ditch me, but I caught up." -- wayne

"Be gone with you pulpy, before I fold you into some kind of brochure." -- Artie

"Got any Neapolitan ice cream?" -- endless mike

"Hi, my name's Pete and my favourite season is Winter." -- big pete

"Jeez Louise, it's total Humperdink." -- wayne

"Like I always say, you can't spell gladiola without glad." -- teddy

"Of all the fantasies I had ever had about being a lifeguard, none of them involved searching for a mad man with a bladder problem." -- big pete

"If you don't know it by now, you're not gonna, y'know, know it." -- dan

"You know carrot head, the human body has over 191 seperate bones, now where do I begin?" -- endless mike

"This morning, I stood with the refrigerator door open for 45 minutes, just 'cos I could." -- big pete

"I'm sending a secret emergency distress signal. I saw it once on Flipper." -- wayne

"I once dreamt I was a little blue dog." -- big pete

"Wax my nose hairs!" -- little pete

"I'm counting to a million. For fun." -- ellen hickle

"Don't go ruining your appetite boys, 'cause tonight we're gonna have us a weenie roast." -- endless mike

"We're not like underpants." -- little pete

"Say hello to my kydney, 3 pounds, 4 ounces" -- endless mike

"Kill me with a brick" -- little pete

"What, you guys didn't know that?" -- teddy

"We know where you live jigglebutts, the end is near." -- little pete

"Do burps taste like hotdogs?" -- nona

"Passengers will refrain from .. killing my soul!" -- stu the bus driver

"Snot on a cracker." -- little pete

"You really are as quick as a bunny...with brains to match." -- endless mike

"I mock your cheese danish and all it stands for!" --little pete

"Soon you will be as cheese boy: melty, melty, melty." -- artie

"I never know what to say to my Dad, so whenever he's around, I just fake falling asleep. He thinks I have a degenerative brain disorder." -- bill korn

"Bite me sideways!" -- little pete

"I have to go to a special kind of therapy. We talk with socks." -- teddy

"I'm out of here like a beef belch." -- little pete

"Alright, I ate snot once, it was at the candy counter at the movie theatre. I thought it was imitation butter flavoured topping. There, are you happy!?!" -- bill korn

"Suck a glue gun, chunkhead!" -- little pete

and of course, quotes from my favorite movies...

fight club:

"This is your life and it's ending one minute at a time."

"With a gun in your mouth, you speak only in vowels."

"If you wake up at a different time and in a different place, could you wake up as a different person?"

"You have a kind of sick desperation in your laugh."

"Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken."

"The things you own end up owning you."

"It's only after you've lost everything that you're free to do anything."

"We are defined by the choices we make."

"You are not your job.
You are not how much you have in the bank.
You are not the contents of your wallet.
You are not your fucking Khakis.
You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake.
You are the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world."

the matrix:

"What is real? How do you define real? If you're talking about what you can feel, what you can smell, what you can taste and see, then real is simply electrical signals interpreted by your brain."

"Never send a human to do a machine's job."

"It came to me when I tried to classify your species. I realized that you're not actually mammals. Every mammal on this planet instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with the surrounding environment but you humans do not. You move to an area and you multiply and multiply until every natural resource is consumed. The only way you can survive is to spread to another area. There is another organism on this planet that follows the same pattern. Do you know what it is? A virus. Human beings are a disease, a cancer of this planet. You are a plague, and we are the cure."

what's eating gilbert grape?:

"Endora. Endora's where we are. Describing Endora is like dancing to no music. It's a town where nothing much ever happens and nothing much ever will."

"Match in a gas tank, boom, boom."

"I'm having a party and you're invited. I don't know you, but you can come too."

"Gilbert, we're not goin anywhere, ya know. We're not goin anywhere."

Daniel Johns

"I'll always remember 1995 as the year I found out Star Trek wasn't real."

"Candles are good as long as you're not me and you don't fall asleep and your house burns down."

"I don't want to be famous for being a celebrity."

"Think what you want, this is what we are."

"I haven't had a girlfriend since I was 14. I don't want a girlfriend. We don't have any time, and it's so hard now to meet people and wonder if they like me or my money. It's too much of a hassle so I just got a fucking dog. I have some great pornographic pictures of my dog."

"I've never had a social life, don't ever want one because it's boring."

"When in doubt, lie."

"I don't want people to think I'm whining and I don't want people to feel sorry for me, I couldn't give a shit. I just wanted to be honest."

"I don't usually write when I'm in a good mood. That's when I want to be out living a life."

"It's a wonder we're not all schizophrenic."

"Ever since the band started, I was never really perceived as being real. I was seen as the next Kurt Cobain by the press, or the guy that everyone wanted to beat up back home."[=(]

"You want me to spit on you? You're fucking stupid! I've got herpes and all other different diseases."

"Hi. I love Sweep."

"Shut the fuck up! Could all the fucking teenies step back and let the real fans come up front?"

"Trees have feelings too, and no one ever says 'hi' to them. Next time you're outside and see a tree, say 'hello'."

"Money is nothing except a false sense of power."

"If I wasn't in our band I'd hate us, just to be cool."

"I pretty much hate everyone before I meet them. I judge people, which I'm trying to stop, but it's very hard because I hate everyone before I know who they are. They've got to win me over."

"We were talking about the similarities between us and the spice girls and the backstreet boys and so on. There's like a baby spice, that's Sam, because he's innocent and new. Then there's sporty spice who's Chris, 'cause he works out and stuff. Ben is scary spice 'cause he's a drummer;he's wild. And I'm posh spice because I'm a bitch - and I'm gonna be married to a famous soccer player."

"Without the negative experiences you wouldn't really feel the positive."

"Happiness would be finding someone special and living in a big house with a movie cinema in it and lots of animals."

"There's one problem in society today, do you want me to tell you what it is? Social prejudice and hatred... and the belief that Santa Claus is real."

"People don't understand sarcasm, like, they take everything too seriously. People need to lighten up and go ice skating."