Mood:
hug meMy gosh, when one thing actully starts to get ok it goes down the drain, why damnit? why does everything go wrong now, everyone was happy. ok to start things off, Im still in love w/ robert, and it hurts me sooooo much to kno that hes in love w/ amanda, i dont like josh, i dont love him more than a friend, and i hate lying to him saying that i do, b/c i dont mean it, im in love w/ the one guy i felt actully loved me when we were dating, but w/ josh i mean after like 4 or 5 days after we started goin out he says he loves me and i kno he dosnt mean it, its like he expects me to say it back, but it hurts so much when i do, i want to be w/ Robert so bad and i hate that more than nething, hes hurt me one too many times, why in the hell do i still love him? i guess its b/c when we were dating it felt like he cared for me, no other guy has ever done that for me, i want sooo bad for a guy to just tell me that he loves me and wouldnt mind if i cried on his shoulder, he would love me and sho me that he cared, i want that sooo bad i mean i would kill for that, i mean i want that soo bad that im crying rite now, and i had that perfect guy, but now hes in love w/ someone else, im tired of being the "sis" i want to be seen as a nice, pretty girl who some guy would love and care for, but now i guess thats too much to ask for, im stuck w/ someone i only like as a friend and its killing me.
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