Mystic Pam and Crazy Barbara
You will develop a sudden strange obsession with the opposite sex. Beware of woodland creatures, their furry exteriors hide the savage rage of years of oppression.
Power colour: Magenta
The moon is orbiting through Venus which means you will develop a nasty rash I your nether-regions. Bathe the area in the blood of a squirrel to ease the pain. Power colour: swollen red
Your friend will die a quick and painful death. Don’t walk next to Taureans when crossing the road. And yes, yes you should do that. Naked. Power colour: Mauve
You will start to notice hair where there wasn’t hair before. Don’t worry this is quite normal. However, if it continues you should see a doctor. Power colour: Black
You will get your test results back. Congratulations! Or commiserations. I’m not sure. You should vote conservative for a while. Power colour: Blue/Pink
You will find yourself unreasonably sexually attracted to an Aries. Convention be damned! Listen to your pants, not your brain. Copious amounts of alcohol will help you through this month.
Power colour: Polka-dot
This is the dawning of the age of Aquarius. You’re wet and ready to strike. Remember: Jab, Jab, Punch, Jab. Stay away from coal mines.
Power colour: dark as the darkest night
You will read a horoscope which appears to be referring to itself. On further inspection, this will prove to be true. This will confuse you.
Power colour: Beige
Due to the presence of Neptune in your sector, you will develop a severe bout of dysentery. Don’t let this stop you from achieving your goals!
Power colour: brown
You will die a quick and painful death. I’m sorry, but we all have to go sometime. Look left and right before crossing the road.
Power colour: Grey
Now that the stitches are out, you’re back in action. Now, if only you weren’t so damn ugly. Still there’s always plastic surgery. Or a mask. Power colour: Orange
Sometimes it’s better to let sleeping dogs lie. But if they’re ontop of you, crushing your legs, you should probably wake them. Don’t let someone force-feed you this month. Power colour: Charcoal
‘It wasn’t really an El Parto…more like an El Gathero’ says spokespersono for El Gaffo
And so it is…just like it always is. The night’s events wrapped up per usual on Lyndick’s kitchen floor drinking tea. Quite a sombre night in all, although a bit of a disappointment to some “Awww…there were no school boys…I really wanted to see some uniforms” says one attendee.
The Party Planner herself…worn out from doing such a crap job all night. And from the excitement of seeing Orla.
Although for the rest of the gand (Lisa), were pleasantly surprised to see an old friend appear from the floorboards, from hich she was being kept for months before, Orla Crowley (The Real OC), “Ahhh….Orla!!!” screamed the delighted Lisa as she eventually realised 20 minutes later that orla was there….
A shock came to all in attendance, when the young Eoin ‘Winning’ Winning downed a full bottle of vodka to himself. As many of the gatheros were VERY sober, it was quite amusing to everyone to see this phenomenon. Symptoms included: giggling, thinking Ezara was naked when in fact he had just seen her shoulder, writing notes to anyone and anything on post-its, flopping around on the floor, cleaning up Lisa’s mess at her bidding and vomiting up blood. A good night for all. Eoin is available for weddings, christenings and funerals. He’s sure to cause a stir.
Eoin was here.
Wanted: 1 mom. Good condition. Will pay up to 20 euro.
Young college girl seeks like minded younger impressionable school boy to “clean” with. Enjoys long “cleaning” sessions.
Found: Your cherry.
Contact: B.O.T.Tom Flynn @ 555hismom
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