ALL ABOUT SHIT!!!!
My Favorite things about the WORLD WIDE WEB?
My Favorite Web Sites
Funny sites- with a collection of animations.,..COOL!
This site is rather good, it is cool!
Weird- Salad fingers- but i like it! JOKES!
Do you hate clowns?
Its a pig war out there!
Just for the sake of it!
Wat? :)
Weird, strange and funny!
I dont have a description!
Wat funny names! hehe
Funny junk!
If you are Bored!
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Thank you for visiting my fucked up page at Angelfire.
Please come back and visit again!
Hi guys and girls, gays and lezzies, transvestites and cross-dressers..
this site is for all of you blondes and bird brained people out there.....
and anyone who wants a laugh or just is bored and wants to learn some new and intresting shit!
So how about you put your shoes on your heads and listen....well read!
I think cats make the best pets. I do not want to be thought on as one of those "weird cat people" and I will not tell you that my 34 cats are super-intelligent and able to communicate with me better than most people. This is not true. I don't even have 34 cats,or watever.
I have one, Her name is jazz. She is quite fat, well i wont lie she is very fat!
CATS? they are the best pet because their cool and dont need to be taken for walks and shit. They dont need much care.
The downer is that they mewow and mewow and MEWOW, when after food, attension or just to get on you god dam nerves.
Then theres the shit that always stinks up your garden- well at least they hide it away in the mud....
and a least they not steal your cigarettes.
Now on to more pressing matters!
Here are some things (instructions) said on products in supermarkets...this is why the human race is past its sell by date....
On a packet or gummy sweets:
Instructions: open packet, eat gummy sweets.
(oh god...somebody got paid a lot to write this one...a typical blonde comment)
On a beach ball box:
Warning: for playing use only.
(Ummmmmmm?..So.... what other uses would there be?)
On a kenwood food processor:
Not to be used for any other uses.
(Now I am curious. wat?)
On the Odeon cinema peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but wat about ginger?...No ginger?)
On a bar of soap...
Directions: Use like a regular bar of soap.
(Hello....and that would be how?, God they're running out of things to say.)
Tiramisu dessert: (written on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down, incase of spillage.
(Too late! its already upsidedown, duh!)
On Bread and butter Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating in the oven on gas mark 6.
(Are you sure? oh lets experiment....wow!)
On a bubblegum tea mug:
caution: do not put hot water into this Mug..
(what, ummmmmm....so how do it use it)
On a child's spiderman costume:
Wearing of this clothing does not enable you to climb walls or fly.
(That's right... Be evil, destroy a childhood belief. Go ahead!)
On sleeping pills:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(i would hope so!)
On a Japanese kitchen knife:
Warning: keep blade out of children.
(hmm...i think something must have gotten lost in translation...)
On a Russian Hairdrier
Warning: Do not eat, in cause of food poisoning.
(OK...OK..OK..now i am really lost, i mean first of all who in their right mine would eat a
hair drier and then it says "in cause of food poisoning"....ummmmmm well
personally i think it would cause much more damage....STRANGE!!!)
THINGS I HATE....!
1....When people a willing to get off their big fat hairy ASS, and search the whole intire room for the TV remote because they fucking refuse to go
and change the goddam TV channel manually...... aghhhhhh...
2....When ive looked and found something and them some thick person says 'its always the last place you look'
well duh, of course it is, i mean
when you found the bloody thing. who the hell in their right mind would keep looking..... if you are, then raise your hand and tell me who and where you are...? GOD....
And if there is anyone out there who does this they are most likely blonde........ :)
3....When i'm watching a film with a friend and we have both got our eyes glued to the TV, and then she goes 'did you see that'....ummmmm.. well i
did because i watching it just like you....DUH!.. im not bloody blind.....
THE BOG IS A SUBJECT TO TALK ABOUT...
Here are some things about the bog....
Here I sit, I'm at a loss
trying to shit out taco sauce.
When it comes, I hope and pray,
I don't blow my ass away
(Written high upon the wall)
If you can piss above this line,
the Fire Department wants you.
(Scratched into the paint of the condom-dispensing machine)
"Don't buy this gum, it tastes like rubber."
(written above the tampons button on the machine)
"how the hell do you get pleasure out of these?"
(written on a mirror)
If you go to bed with an ichy ass
your will wake up with a smelly finger!
(written next to the loo roll holder)
Why does my ass get wet when i take a shit?
(ummmmmm.....well..Gee!... i dont know, maybe because there is water below you when you take a big fat crap!)
FUNNY STUFF...!
FACTS....
Your stomach has to produce a new layer of muces every two weeks or it will digest itself..
(what?.... so you are saying i can eat myself.....hmmmmm)
A ducks quack doesnt echo. No one knows why..
(well i dont know why, do i?...)
A pigs orgasm lasts for 30 minutes..
(LUCKY PIGS!!.......JOKES)
There are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with orange, purple and silver..
Most people fear spiders more then death..
(oh so when someone is killing you with an axe, you will be screaming "OH GOD PLEASE SAVE ME FROM THE SPIDER" that was on the wall, then
"OH GOD PLEASE SAVE ME FROM THIS HALF DEFORMED, DEMENTED MAN WITH A BLOOD STAINED AXE BEFORE ME" ..???hmmmmmm... somehow i dont think sooo...)
It is not physically possable to lick your own elbow...Bet you cant do it!
GO ON TRY!
And if you can do it then sent me in your pic of doing it..... it would be cool! :)
Money isnt made out of paper, it is really cotten..
(hmmmmmmm......well i didnt know you could wear money before....... what a strange idea!!......)
Angelfire
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Webmonkey
Email: cpruce@hotmail.com
