An addiction to doujinshi is just like any other addiction ... only more expensive!! ^_^ Trust me, being addicted to drugs or alcohol or sex is a LOT cheaper than being addicted to doujinshi!
Although, some of that depends on the kind of doujinshi you lust after. Me, I love the expensive stuff (but of course!). I'm VERY picky about my doujinshi - it has to have nice art, decent story, and a couple I love! Then again, there are times when I can be downright desperate!
For example, I once bought 5 doujinshi sight unseen from Rakuten Furima just because they were cheap (only 250 yen a pop! That's a STEAL, even with all those deputy fees!) And it turned out that most of them I didn't even like! ~_~ But at the time, I was incredibly desperate for Final Fantasy 4 doujinshi ... there seemed to be hardly any anywhere! Now, however, there are TONS of FF4 dj's EVERYWHERE! I got a great-priced lot on Bidders Japan (formerly Japan's ebay site, I got 6 Rydia x Edge dj's for only 1500 yen! That's only about 5-7 dollars/dj when you include deputy fees and shipping! That's a STEAL), and it turned out I already had two of the dj's from the lot - on EBAY of all places! And currently there are two FF4 dj's on ebay (although I might bid on one of them tonight, I'm not sure if I will, it ends in about an hour), and this week there were/are about 5-8 FF4 dj auctions going on all at once! Some of them ended already, and some are still going ... but it's crazy! I mean, just a month ago, I was struggling to find any of them and suddenly they're all over the place! PLUS, doki doki station got a whole bunch of ERF dj's (my FAVORITE ff4 circle!!!) in early june, and they all went on hold like the first day they arrived!! GRRRR!!!! >_<
But anywho, I digress. The point of this entry is supposed to be talking about the JOYS of being a doujinshi addict, not the trials and tribulations! So let's get down to the point.
My very first doujinshi purchase on ebay consisted of two auctions from one seller, for BVD DX and BVD 69. Even today, these are still some of my favorite dj's (I absolutely love the BVD series!) I had no idea what I was doing back then, and I spent a total of around $9 for those two dj's. That's a lot of money!
After that, I lost my focus, and started buying dj's right and left. I was all about quantity, not quality ~ that's how I live my life. In almost anything and everything, I prefer quantity over quality. I measure my own success by the quantity of stuff I've done, as opposed to quality. This isn't the best way to go, however! I learned this soon enough, when I watched my bank account go down ... and down ...
And I knew that I was addicted. Addicted to doujinshi.
I store my doujinshi in a little storage box in the middle of my room. Originally I put my dj's in this box so that I could take them with me when I went back to college (scared the whole time that they would somehow be damaged in transit). Then I just left them there because I really have nowhere else to put them. I live at home with my mom and brother, and neither of them knows about doujinshi. The thing is, if they knew about my addiction, they wouldn't understand. It's hard being a doujinshi addict, because honestly, no one else understands what drives me. Even my closest friends can't understand why I blow my budget on my beautiful dj's. It's a very lonely life, just like with any other addiction. It's hard to find anyone else who appreciates the beauty of a dj, who can share your joy at getting an incredibly sought after doujinshi for an incredibly low price.
When I first started collecting, it began with just ebay. Then I discovered websites with doujinshi, such as my personal favorite, dragonball-doujinshi.com. I became a member and was floored by the glorious, beautiful dj's within. But having access to scans of these dj's didn't sate my hunger; it only made me hunger even more in my quest for dj's. Soon I realized that I don't have the kind of money to bid on every single dj that I sorta want (like a certain someone on ebay whose auction wins for ONE MONTH totalled about $3,000!! I know, it's silly that I counted, but when you do the math, it's crazy ... $3,000/month is equal to $36,000/year!! For DOUJINSHI! That's more than a lot of people MAKE a year ...). I have a budget. There's no income, since I don't work (due to my medical condition, I even had to drop out of college ~_~;), and all I have is my inheritance (which really isn't that much! Plus, I haven't even seen most of it yet. ~_~)
So I knew that I had to stop myself before I found out that I had no money left. If there's anything in my character that's stronger than my addiction to doujinshi, it's my miserly attitude towards money.
Some people believe that money is for spending ~ NOT ME! I believe that money is for saving. I always like to have some extra money around, 'just in case.' This is how I play video games, too ~ Whenever I'm playing a video game I will miserly hold onto all my gold and only spend it if necessary. And I'll always set a spending limit to myself, so that I have a certain amount left, even if it means skimping on items or weapons or armor. And I'll go out and kill enemies for a few hours at a time, just to earn some extra gold, until suddenly I realize that I have TOO MUCH, and I've reached the limit for the amount the game will let you hold ... and I have to go spend some, quick! ^_^ If only real life were like that!
But once again, I digress. After being on ebay and winning some auctions, I discovered (duh duh duh !!) DOUJIN BOX! This took my addiction to a WHOLE NEW LEVEL. Now I could bid on doujinshi STRAIGHT FROM JAPAN! With a few small fees, of course! ^_~ So in the end, I believe that I've actually spent, by far, MORE money through Celga/Doujin Box (and now I'm using Anime Chaos since they have a killer summer sale! Go check it out!) than on ebay. And the doujinshi selection tends to be MUCH nicer on Yahoo Japan than ebay, especially for the doujinshi I'm interested!
Along the way, as I said before, I had to refine my tastes. I told myself that I had to focus, and stop buying dj's that I didn't really want just because they were cheap. It was hard, and took a little time, but I did it. Now, I only bid on dj's that I REALLY want. I've even become pickier when it comes to FF4 dj's ~ no more Cecil x Cain yaoi for me, just because that's all that there is! Now I'm just going for what I really want, Rydia and Rydia x Edge dj's (and maybe a lil Golbez x Cain if it's cheap enough). There might be slim pickings, but that doesn't mean that I can't be picky!
And this, my friends, brings me to the point of this entire long rambling thong (FINALLY!): THE JOYS OF BEING A DOUJINSHI ADDICT!
What are these joys, you ask? How can an addiction that is so expensive, and so costly (in terms of social life, free time, money, etc) have any rewards other than the high that you get, post-auction-win?
Well, my friends, there's an even better high in store for you a few weeks after that initial win! This high is the high of finally RECEIVING the precious dj's that you worked so hard for and paid so much for!
Yesterday, I received a shipment of my recent wins from Celga. Oh, I was pretty mad at them for sending it without me ordering it, but it's true that one of my wins was from May 12 (it got left behind last time I ordered a shipment). And they did have a lot of stuff to send me ... and most of my more recent purchases hadn't come in yet, so it's ok, the next shipment will be just as big (if not bigger!)
But when I received that package (it took almost a week to get here, even though it's EMS! GRRR!!), after all the frustrations of tracking it (We have lots of problems with our mailman, he's lazy and lies about attempting to deliver my package - TWICE! GRRRR!!), I was in heaven. PURE BLISS, when I opened that beautiful package. *HAPPY SIGH*
I finally had the realization of what my determined focus had wrought. The dj's inside were ONLY ones that I had REALLY wanted, not flights of fancy that I soon abandoned. This was the REAL THING. Included in that shipment were:
BVD 37 (which I had wanted for so long, and got for a veritable steal at 1900 yen!)
BVD Selection (Another steal for only 3100 yen ~ And in great condition, too! A week later, another copy sold for upwards of 4500 yen! ^_^)
6 Edge x Rydia dj's (which, as I said before, I won for only 1500 yen for the whole lot! Under $10 each including shipping!)
Honey (And ExR hentai doujinshi)
...and, last but not least, my VERY FIRST ERF DJ!!!! (I was SOOO HAPPY to get this! I paid less for this than I would have even if I'd bought it from Doki Doki Station, where it had been listed a week before!!!!! ^_^)
I looked over my doujinshi with awe, and hurredly (yet carefully) opened their plastic coverings, delving inside for a little look-see at my purchases. I went through all of them in the blink of an eye, and then sat there, on my bed, sated and happy. I carefully put them away back in there box and put it on the bottom shelf of my bookshelf (where I keep all my YJ dj's, in their original boxes), and that was that. It's still there, right now, and I can see it from where I sit, typing on my computer. It's a plain brown box (it was inside a bag, so now that I threw the bag away there's no address or any labellling or anything on it), but it holds inside it so many dreams of mine.
This is the culmination of my doujinshi dream. Being able to have the patience to wait until I can get a dj for a reasonable price. Even if I really want it, I'm no longer willing to break the bank (after one memorable and INCREDIBLY EXPENSIVE mistake I made for a Kuri dj), and if I don't really want it, I have the ability to 'just say no.' I've come along way in just a few short months, and I'm very proud of what I have become. This latest shipment of doujinshi proves to me that I can overcome my addiction, and turn it into something to be proud of, not something to be ashamed of! Well, that, and also I have to start selling some of my old, unwanted dj's on ebay to pay for my habit! ^_^;;
It's hard to believe that I've only been collecting doujinshi for a little over 6 months (I started last December, just a few days before I came home from college for winter break), and already I've amassed over 100 of them (I keep a list, although it's a little behind at the moment, I haven't put in my latest arrivals yet) ... and my collection keeps growing! But the rate of growth is much slower now. I don't need to be watching an auction every single second ... and if I don't win, it doesn't depress me like it used to (well, not all the time!)
And today, to add icing onto the cake of yesterday's beautiful revelations, I received Hanky Panky, a Kuri dj that I won for $9.99 on ebay, in the mail. Less than a week since I won it! (see my first entry if you don't believe me! ^_~) It was amazing to see it. And just a little over a month ago, I didn't have any Kuri doujinshi, either, and now I have, what ... about 4 or 5 of them! And the most recent additions have been deals and steals, to make up for that one little mistake I made way back when ^_^;
And now I'm still being very careful, and carefully considering how much I spend on a particular dj before I bid. Sometimes, at the last minute, just before I planned to snipe, I would realize that I really didn't want this dj! And I would stop, and someone else would win ... and I wouldn't care.
I wouldn't go so far as to say that I'm a 'recovering' addict ... But at least now I can honestly say that I have my addiction under control.
And what an addiction it is! ^_^