Beginning theme: Pure Again

(Alarm clock goes off in Sailor Moon's room. She jumps out of bed, literally, then falls on top of Jessie.)

Jessie: OW! DAMNIT! GET THE HELL OFF ME!

(Door opens and Sailor Neptune walks in.)

Sailor Neptune: What's going on here? People are still trying to sleep.

Sailor Moon: Sorry, my alarm scared me again. (to clock) Stupid thing! (smashes it with her scepter, but gets electrocuted in the process) Quick, unplug the damn thing!

(Neptune tries to unplug the clock, but gets electrocuted, too.)

(putting on rubber gloves) Here, allow me. (Jessie unplugs it) See. Rubber blocks electricity. I know this by now. Why don't you try getting electrocuted by Pikachu constantly.

(Later...)

Hawkmon: Is that oven done getting completed? I really want some eggs.

Let me finish. Okay, I just cross these wires and.... Wait, no, that's not right. Does anyone know anything about machines?

Ken: Need some help?

Yeah, you could say that. Apparently, Davis broke the oven last episode.

That explains the ash all over him. But who was screaming "fire" yesterday?

Oh, that was James. Jessie sort of blew fire on him for being so pissed. She did have a fine behind, too.

(from upstairs) I heard that, fuckin' pervert!

Yolei: Where did those censors disappear to?

They sort of died when we destroyed the Right to Censor group. Ivory's with Norman Smiley, and everyone else, but Bull Buchanan are back to normal. Bull's dead.

Davis: Anyone up to watch some TV? (turns on the TV) Oh god, a stupid commercial. *sigh* I wish there weren't any commercials.

Woman on TV: Mmm, are you looking for a good time?

TURN THAT CRAP OFF!

Yolei, watch your mouth. You forget that kids are reading this.

Drake: Would you guys shut up!? (sees TV) Whoa, Davis, I like your style. But please, change it. (remote clicks) Thank you.

Veemon: What was that, Davis?

(stalls for half second) That was something for adults only.

(Drake giggles under his breath.)

Guy on TV: Hey, are you ready to par-tay?! Well come on down to the Last Dance hall in New York city. I'll be joined by special guests that you will hardly see.

All: Hmmm..... We could use a vacation.

(on monitors) Pack your bags, peoples, we're going to New York City!

James: We're probably going there just for WWF New York. You just watch.

Shove it, James, we're going to party till the sun comes up and the world blows up. Well, not literally. PACK YOUR BAGS, WE'RE GOING TO NEW YORK!

("It Just Feels Right" by Lita plays in the background as they all pack some valuable stuff. James goes into the bathroom.)

(from inside bathroom) Excuse you, but I was trying to get dressed!

(Jessie punches and kicks James at the beat of the song. She misses a few times, then throws him out of the bathroom.)

(Three black vans appears in front of the castle)

(throwing in the last suitcase) That's the last of them. Can we kill the music, please?! (the music dies out) Thank you. Now, I'll trust each of you not to crash the cars. Haruka, you drive one of the vans, I'll drive another one, and James, you drive the other one.

Why does he get to drive?

Cause he said so, you tramp.

Slut!

Whore bag!

and Meowth: Would you please stop fighting?!

(Each of them go into a van. Luckily, they all fit in each van. "Vacation" by the Go-gos plays as they drive away.)

(At Dark Hill)

Tatakya: Those fools are heading towards New York, Mojuro.

Mojuro: Good. That Willis kid.... his life force was a glowing star. That's the sign of the time to attack. How is it that he possessed it?

I don't know about that, but on a side note, Lucca sent another virus to a destination in New York City. They won't know what hit them. And besides, Lucca can't contact them, even if she tried. I destroyed her communication devices. If she makes another, it'll disintegrate.

(In New York)

Okay, let's find the Holiday Inn. I made reservations there. It'll probably cost me up to, like, um......

Terriermon: $24 each. Let's see, they don't count us if we act like toys. That's seven digidestineds, you, Sailor Moon and the senshi, Tuxedo Mask, Team Rocket, Ted, and the Chrono Cross people. Good thing King and Lebia are in Las Vegas getting our money.

Willis: (with calculator) That'll count up to be $456.

(Drake slams on the brakes.)

WHAT?! I DON'T HAVE THAT KIND OF MONEY! Are you sure it's $24 each person?

My mistake, it's actually $18 a person.

That's still a lot.

Where are we gonna scrounge up $342?

Kid: So much for this vacation. Should we turn around?

Do I look like a quitter? (pause) Don't answer that.

(Drake slams on the acceleration. He goes up to almost 70 MPH.)

(In the park)

Vince Russo: At least I finally get to eat a hot dog. No one to disturb me what so.... (see one of the black vans heading toward him) HOLY CRAP!

(One of the black vans hits Russo, causing him to splatter everywhere.)

Man: Oh my God, that killed Russo!

Vince McMahon (eating a hotdog) Who gives a crap? (In the van)

James, where the hell are you going?

Cody: Obviously he can't drive.

(turning toward Cody) Hey, take that back!

All but James: Watch the road!

(James slams on the brakes. Coughing is heard outside. As the dust clears, Mimi is standing there.)

Mimi: Oh, great. Just great. That ruined my new blouse. (to James) Learn to drive, clown!

Kari and : Mimi?

Kari? Yolei? Holy cow, what the heck are you doing here?

(Everyone gets out of their van)

Sailor Uranus: Sorry if our purple haired friend almost hit you, miss.

That's okay, Haruka. Or is it Amara?

Hey, don't call me by my English name. It's embarrassing.

TK: (carrying a suitcase) You guys coming, or not? We all need to get these suitcases into the hotel.

Gatomon: Don't they have bellboys for that?

Serge: Wait a minute, TK, where did you get over $342?

I pilfered Mr. Russo when James flattened him. Lucky us, we have $400. But now we have $58.

And it's a good thing no one likes Vince Russo. That guy's a jerk.

(In a hotel room)

Finally, a place out of the van. I feel worn out.

Join the club. I wonder what's on.

(turns on TV)

Girl on TV: *groans* Spank it, baby, spank it, spank it! We're not working out, we are definitely fucking.

Guy on TV: Hey, shut up, I don't want my mom to hear.

Girl: There are no Sam Master trench mill in this room.

(turns off TV) Change of plans. It turns out we're stuck with pornos through out the episode.

Terrific. It would be nice if no one was reading this episode. (to reader) If you feel offended by the swearing, the sex, the violence, please go back now.

Why did we come here in the first place?

I heard there was a dance club here. I just wanted to see if you guys were up to it.

(a red flash appears on Willis for a second.)

What the? What was that?

What was what?

Nothing. I guess I was imagining things. Who's up for the dance club? (thinking) It's happening again. Why now? I can't let them know a virus is here. This is our vacation, dang it. I won't let a virus ruin it.

(later that night)

(outside the dance club)

(with "Pump Up the Jam" playing in the background) Is this what we're doing here?

I kind of like it. Come on, Haruka, let's party.

Hey, Kari, mind if we......

Hey, Willis.......

Damn, I almost had her.

(They enter the club. They see Ivory and Norman Smiley in the crowd.)

Ivory: (jumps on table) Let's party! (splashes herself with two jugs of water) LET'S GET NAKED!

Armadillomon: That woman's had too much coffee this morning.

Either that or she's real excited to be here.

She's been like that since Norman poured water on her in episode 12.

Come on, Mamo-chan.

Tuxedo Mask: Okay, Usa-ko.

(Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask go into the dance crowd. One of the amplifiers glows red. Willis stops in his tracks and looks over to it.)

What's wrong, Willis?

It's here. The wirusu.

(The amplifier turns into a woman humanoid creature. She has blue skin, blond hair, brown eyes and is wearing a blue Ivory jumpsuit. She has an amplifier-like stereo on her back.)

Wirusu: (voice echoing) Let's party till you die! Deadly Program!

(The wirusu shoots out the Deadly Program. Our heroes duck underneath the wires. The wirusu does the extract on the victims. She gets nothing but life force orbs.)

Wirusu: Drat, you don't have it. Return! (the life forces return to their owners) It's look like I'll have to try harder then.

Like heck you are. I am the champion of justice and love, pretty soldier in a sailor suit, Sailor Moon!

Okay, guys, vacation's over. Time to get serious. Serge, Kid, Uranus, Neptune, get the survivors out of here.

, , , and : Gotcha.

Wirusu: Maybe you don't know who I am, but my name is Anpurifaia. Good to see you all are lively enough today to get down and funky.

(Hawkmon turns into Aquilamon, and he fuses together with Gatomon to form Silphymon. Wormmon and Veemon evolve into Stingmon and Ex-Veemon, then fuse together to form Paildramon. Patamon and Armadillomon evolve into Angemon and Ankylomon, then fuse together to form Shakkumon.)

Anpurifaia: Big whoop, like I care. I guess I should finish you off now. SONIC DEATH BLAST!

(Anpurifaia shrieks as loud as she can. Everyone covers their ears.)

Silphymon: Static Force!

Paildramon: Desperado Blasters!

(The two DNA Digevolved Digimon blast Anpurifaia with the two attacks, sending her backwards.)

Sailor Saturn: Silence Glaive Surprise!

Dead Scream!

(The two senshi use their attacks on the wirusu as well.)

and : Judgment!

(They use Judgement on Anpurifaia, nearly killing her.)

Rainbow Moon Heart Ache!

(Sailor Moon uses the attack, also nearly killing Anpurifaia.)

I don't know why, Terriermon, but I think their attacks aren't really doing much against Anpurifaia. She seems hurt, but she gets up everytime.

I'll get her then. Petit Blast!

(Terriermon uses his attack on Anpurifaia, knocking her out a window.)

That was a close call.

But where did she go? We didn't finish her off yet.

(The wall explodes and Anpurifaia is standing where there's a huge hole in the wall.)

Anpurifaia: Right here, baby. I see you probably have the hots for moi. Come here, little TK and make me want you.

What did you just say, virus sleeze?

Anpurifaia: You've got a nice big mouth, and I'm gonna enjoy SHUTING IT!

(Anpurifaia lunges at Kari, but is hit by a Hichina Bomb by Shakkoumon. Silphymon hurls another Static Force.)

I'm not gonna have Yolei one me up this time! Go, Arbok!

(The ball opens revealing Wobbuffet)

Wobbuffet: Wobbuffet!

Wobbuffet, get back in the ball!

Wobbuffet: Wob?

It's not listening!

Anpurifaia: SONIC DEATH BLAST!

(Anpurifaia uses the attack on Wobbuffet, sending it back to the ball.)

You're doing poorly, Jess.

Bitch!

Slut!

Tramp!

Whore bag!

and : Stop fighting!

Anpurifaia: Please, let them continue. I'm enjoying this. What rapture. Bravo!

Stop! (Everyone stands in place) Leave them alone, it's me you want.

Anpurifaia: I'm not programmed to go up against a little, annoying brat. You can take that bunny rabbit, or whatever it is, and kiss my ass. You go to hell while you're at it.

Sorry, virus, some of us lived it!

Anpurifaia: You stay out of this, retard!

WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST CALL ME?! That does it, full scale assault! Fire when ready.

("Sailor Star Song" plays as Drake and Ted use Judgment, Sailor Moon uses Moon Spiral Heart Attack, Saturn uses Silence Glaive Surprise, Pluto uses Dead Scream, the Digimon use their attacks, Jessie and James summon their Pokemon and use their attacks, Serge uses Flying Arrow, Kid uses Hot Shot, Neptune uses Deep Submerge, and Uranus uses Space Sword Blaster. All the attacks fuse together, causing Anpurifaia to explode.)

That was close. I hope that's the last we'll see of that skanky thing. She really needed an appropriate attire.

All but Kari: What did you say?

What?

Don't do that, you sounded like Steven Richards there for a minute. You scared me.

(Anpurifaia puts herself together and uses the Deadly Program on them all. It then cut by a knife. The Tuxedo Mask theme plays.)

Tuxedo Mask?

(Ivory and Norman Smiley jump out of nowhere.)

Leave them alone, you skanky slut!

(Ivory uses the Samoan Driver move on Anpurifaia. After that, Norman uses the Big Wiggle on her.)

Anpurifaia: Stop spanking me, you pervert. (Norman does the Smiley Slam) Ow.

and Quick, kill her!

(Drake uses Judgment on Anpurifaia. She screams in pain, then dissolves, leaving behind an amplifier. A crystal shard comes out and shatters.)

Shakkoumon: There's something weird about those shards.

I'll go pick one up.

No, I will, Jessie. You just stay put.

You don't tell me what to do, little lady!

You want to go at it again?!

(They all groan)

Will they ever stop?

Girls will be girls. It seems it's that time of the month again.

and What was that supposed to mean?

Uh..... Nothing.

Looking at those two fight remind me of me and Mars. We were always at each other's throats.

I challenge you to a battle.

Guess what, I don't have any Pokemon, stupid. I'm out of your league.

I'm going to go back to the hotel.

Count me in, it's useless to see these two quarrel with each other.

I'll go get the car.

Ending song: Sailor Star Song (sorry, no audio)