(The traditional Daria theme plays)

(At Lawndale High)

Daria: (reading a newspaper) Hey Jane, did you hear about the new fortune teller that opened her business in the park?

Jane: Fortune teller, huh? Do you think she can tell our future of who we're going to be with?

Either that, or it's Ms. Barch in disguise again like in the Medieval episode.

(Kevin and Brittany see the two talking.)

Brittany: Hi, Daria, Jane, how ya doing?

Incoming blond bombshell at 12 o' clock.

Kevin: I thought it was 2:30, last time I checked. Dang, my watch must be off a little.

Don't worry, Kevy, Dr. Brittany's going to make it better.

(The two leave as the bell rings for them to leave. But as they turn to leave, Daria and Jane see Ms. Li by a sode machine. She has an axe in her hands.)

Deja vu.

Yep.

Ms. Li: (with axe) SODA! SODA! MUST HAVE SODA!

Um, Ms. Li, you shouldn't do that. Remember what happened last time?

I don't care! I WANT SODA!

(Kenny from South Park walks by out of nowhere. Ms. Li swings the ax, but decapitates Kenny.)

Oh my God, she killed Kenny.

You bastards. Hey, Daria, you want to go get some pizza?

It beats being here.

(In the park)

Quinn: So, then I said to him, "No thank you. That's third base, pal, and I just cut you off. You're out."

Tiffany: Wow, that is so cool.

Stacy: I wish I had your skills, Quinn. I mean, you know how Bob dumped me for... (starts crying)

Sandi: Hey, Quinn, maybe we should get our fortunes told. There's a fortune teller there.

Hey, that's not a bad idea. Let's go in.

(The Fashion Club enters the tent. They see a woman putting her hand on a crystal ball. The woman reveals herself to be Royce.)

Royce: We seem to have guests. But I welcome those persuing knowledge, as always. For you see, I am a student of knowledge: past, present, and future. I can foretell many things in the future. So, let's see your future. That's why you came to me today, isn't it?

Uh, yeah, that's what we're here for. How much is it?

Oh, there is no price, Quinn Morgendorffer. Although, your future with Jaime is going to be a fasinating one. You're going to have three kids. You, Sandi, will grow old and die alone.

I think that's a load of bull crap. You're a phony.

Come now, I know how you wish to kill Quinn and make someone the new vice president of your Fashion Club. Oh, Tiffany, you're going to be rich and famous in a few years and a strong husband you'll have.

Wow, I'm totally psyched.

And yes, dear Stacy, you too will possess the same fate as Tiffany. You too will be rich and famous. By the way, Quinn, could you bring you sister, Daria, and her friend, Jane Lane here. I have something SPECIAL for them.

Sure, I'll do that. You can count on me. Oh boy, me asking Daria. AND SHE'S NOT MY SISTER!

Quinn, I want to let you know now that I don't plan on killing you. Not ever. You're my friend.

Just drop it, Sandi.

(At Jane's house)

So, do you want to go to the fortune teller's place. I mean, free fortunes are what we're looking for.

I don't know, it sounds way too suspicious to me. For all we know, it's probably a scam to make people miserable for the rest of their lives. (There's knocking on the door.) Come in.

(Trent enters the room.)

Trent: Daria, you're sister's here. She said she wants to talk to you.

and : Quinn?

(The two walk outside to meet up with Quinn.)

Okay, what's the catch, Quinn? Why did you come here?

I'm sorry, Daria, but that fortune teller in the park told me to get you two.

This can't be Quinn. I mean she would NEVER ask us to do anything.

A point brought up brightly. Okay, Quinn, we'll come, but under one condition. You have to clean my laundry for a month.

Fine.

(In the tent at the park.)

I'm glad you came, Daria Morgendorffer. You as well, Jane Lane. I want to tell your future of an ultimate destiny.

Is this a Power Ranger gig? Cause if it is, I'm out.

Me too.

Wait, wait, wait. This is a true destiny. You two are going on a journey to save the world. This is real stuff here. In Canada, you will find a woman with blond pigtails wearing a sailor suit, a girl with long, red hair, a boy with purple hair, a talking cat, and....

Whoa, did you say talking cat?

That's a little too farfetched for me to hear. I'm outta here.

STOP! Listen! The last person is a man named Drake. You'll find them all leaving Canada. I will send you there myself.

Sorry, I don't believe in voodoo or Wicca or whatever it is you specialize in. Come on, Jane, let's get out of here, before I go crazy.

Very well, leave. (They leave) They just walked through the portal. It's all coming together piece by piece. Sooner or later, they will all unite and they'll destroy them.

Could Royce be telling the truth? What did she mean by "they"? Can she be trusted? Find out next time in the next episode.

Next episde: A Card Debut and A Vile Truth